Tummy Tuck, BA -31 yr old, 183 lbs. 5 kids in Tulsa, OK

Lord where to start. I've often drifted in thought about getting a BA, always to snap back to reality. Knowing that $$ could be spent on something more important. Finally I decided I am DONE hiding behind my arms naked, scared, in front of my husband of 12 years. I've decided to go with a full TT and BA.. Our beautiful children magically transformed my body, leaving behind battle scars of the 45 months I carried something living, breathing, growing inside me. My oldest is almost 15 my youngest is 7. I have three others scattered between them! My hands are full, our budget tight. I only decided several weeks ago that this might work. Talked to my husband again, he has always been so controlling, but he keeps me grounded. He FINALLY said yes. I don't know if he is just tired of the pestering, tired of looking at my sick, sad, body or truly worried about me slipping away into some unknown state of depression. Either way, I got on the ball. Asked around. Read constantly, thought about going to the DR for the surgery as it is MUCH cheaper. I decided, I better stay here in the good ole' U.S.of A. Not that I don't like saving thousands of dollars, but if there is complications, it's gonna be so much easier to hop in a car versus a plane. Not to mention Visas, recovery homes, 2 weeks away, baby sitters, food, losing my sanity.. I was worried about the pumps after the TT, I mean who wouldn't be with five kids..but my doctor doesn't use pumps anymore! He does something he described to me as a quilted stitch. Works. Now I'm 6 weeks away from my consultation and 6 weeks and 1 day away from going under. (April 27th) I'm not looking forward to the down time afterwards. I wonder what will become of my kids, my husband, most importantly my house. I have only told my husband and my boss about the TT, people are jerk-faces. The few I have told about the BA have nothing positive to say, my best friend and mom.. "That money....your fine...why...", I couldn't imagine what they would do if they knew what I was doing. .. Ain't no one got time for that.. There is a down point, I smoke. I'm still smoking. I need to stop. And I don't think it's possible. I've looked at what happens when you smoke and have surgery, I've downloaded the pictures, I plan on printing some plastering them to my doors, fridge. My screensaver possibly. I damn sure don't want to spend almost 10 grand to have my cells die and look worse. Anywho, I choose to go about 5 hours away to Tulsa for my surgery. Dr. Greg Ratliff, tho I am leaning towards letting the chick do the cutting, her work seems neater. Lol. If I can figure out how to update from this point I will do so. I'm nervous as hell.

So today I ran out of cigs! I just ate and haven't bought another pack. One step closer. I was thinking after dinner at a local Chinese joint about stopping to buy one and the lady hand my a fortune cookie!!!! No CiGs for me! 4 hours counting

Today was HARD as hell @ Work plus I started my period. And have been around a bunch of smoking.. My poor co-workers had some kind-of attitude to deal with, but we all survived and live to tell about it