Soup Carnage & Horse-Sized Ducks: A BR Story - Tucson, AZ

It's all good. Very light scarring, and no problems otherwise. Gained a few pounds, but I attribute that to perimenopause, and the fact that chocolate cake is delicious. I remember being so anxious in the weeks before the surgery, and although the recovery wasn't always easy, I'm so glad I went through with it. It is lovely to go through life without the burden of big breasts!

I'M A DECEITFUL [RS bleep]
My best friend said it's misleading to post a before pic with no bra and an after pic with a bra. So I'm posting a nice braless pic of me so she can no longer imply that I'm a lying sack of s**t. I had the surgery 8 mos ago and here's where I am: scars are barely visible, neck pain greatly reduced, and a I really like having a more youthful profile. No regrets. I asked for C and got D, but I think I'm so happy about being "lifted" that the size isn't so important to me.

A BR ON THE DL
I was secretive about the surgery and only told about 3 trusted friends plus my parents. For me, it was a good call. I like not having to have conversations about my breasts. My sister and brothers still haven't noticed. Amid all the sadness surrounding an uncle's funeral in October, I got told many times by cousins, aunts & uncles that I looked good. But no one knows why. Without the overlarge drooping breasts, I thought I'd become an exercise fiend and take up jogging, crossfit, yoga, etc. But that hasn't happened. I still walk and do elliptical for exercise. I thought maybe I'd be motivated to lose weight, but a few weeks ago I reached my highest weight ever. I've lost a few since then, but now I realize that one of my major reasons for always keeping my weight down was the fear that my breasts would get larger. (I don't lose or gain easily, so my highest is about 8 lbs more than my lowest.) My last follow-up with the doc was in December. He said I healed extremely well. I could schedule a follow-up in the summer, but I see no reason to.

THE PUPPY WITH THE BRA FETISH
And the crazy, nutty puppy who loved to chew bras? He became crazier and nuttier. Seriously. At a year old, he started to become aggressive. He would growl & bite unprovoked and the behavior kept getting worse. At 14 mos, I took him to a vet behaviorist and he was diagnosed with a progressive, genetic & incurable form of aggression. A week later, after he bit my elderly mother and lunged for my elderly father, he was euthanized. He was too dangerous to keep or rehome. It's been a shock, and I miss him in spite of everything.

LAST THOUGHTS
The BR hasn't been life-changing and it obviously didn't protect me life's sorrows, but in the end I'm still very happy with the results. If I have any regrets, they're probably about overspending on fancy button-down PJs and scar treatments. The button-down period flew by without me wearing the expensive PJs, and I healed so well & so quickly that I didn't need the pricey scar creams & tapes. Unburdened by monstrous sagging breasts, I feel lighter, younger and freer. It was a good decision.

Years ago, my older brother went through a phase where he gave me very generous birthday gifts. Once he arranged for me to ride on an ultralight aircraft; another time he paid for me to do a tandem skydive. I thought, “Wow, I have the nicest, most giving brother ever.” And then I realized…he’s just trying to kill me. I think I am now faced with a similar situation with my PS. I went for postop visit #3 at the end of week five. He told me I was a good healer and had permission to pretty much do whatever I want from now on, and then he gave me a hug and said I don’t have to see him until January 2014. Nice doctor? At first I thought so, but now my theory is that other surgeons love their patients more. I mean, some of these BR patients on the boards get so many rules. Some can’t do rigorous exercise for 3 or 4 months. Some have to wear recovery bras night and day for two months. Some surgeons, I’m convinced, deliberately make all kinds of tiny mistakes in surgery so the patients will have complications and come to see them more. But not my doc. He deliberately did a perfect job so I’d never come back and see him again. And he actually trusts me to listen to my body. The nerve! Seriously, no complaints here. I don’t do much by way of creams, oils or ointments, but I have light scars that are healing well. I’m still boxy, but the size is okay. Been measured at a solid 36D, which is a little larger than the C/D I wanted but it balances out my hips. My old Donna Karan 36DDD Pain ‘n’ Suffering ™ Minimizer Bra fits scarily well, but thankfully most of my old bras are now too large for me. I’d donate them, but a certain puppy thinks they’re kind of fun to chew. TIP: Never tell your brother he’s a beneficiary of your life insurance.