Girl, Reinvented. - Tucson, AZ

My story is not unlike many others on this site -- I was the first in my class to develop breasts, and have been larger than anyone else ever since. When I was younger, I was in soccer and gymnastics, but getting breasts put a stop to that pretty quickly. Growing up, I had horrible self-esteem. I highly doubt my large chest helped. However, the past couple of years is an important place where I believe my story differs from many. I came a long way to loving who I am (and I'll go ahead and be honest and say that it took some therapy, a lot of hard work, and I am very proud of myself for achieving this). I don't look in the mirror anymore and hate my body. Including my breasts. I can actually appreciate the way I look, big boobies and all. The problem now is the pain and problems my large breasts now cause. I am currently 20 years old, 5'1", 130lbs, with 36F breasts. I exercise a lot, as I am a professional dancer and dance instructor. However, for about half the month (silly menstrual cycle) I am almost completely unable to exercise because of the pain! And I ALWAYS have to wear an underwire bra and a sports bra or two on top, otherwise I end up smacking myself in the face. I have constant back, neck, and shoulder pain, headaches, shoulder grooves, terrible posture, a large numb spot on my right shoulder blade, trouble breathing while exercising...the list goes on and on! I'm sure most of you reading this are incredibly familiar with these issues. And obviously, my breasts get in the way of my everyday activities. Getting a reduction has been on my mind for about 5 years now, but it only started to become a reality within the last couple of months. I secured finances in case insurance wouldn't pay for it, and scheduled consultations. I had 3 consultations over the span of a month, and the first two plastic surgeons just weren't my cup of tea. In the middle of the consultation with the third one I knew he was going to be my doctor, so we went ahead with the proceedings that very day. That was July 1st. I had met with my primary care doctor the week prior and she had offered to write a letter for insurance stating why my surgery was medically necessary, so I called her after I left my plastic surgeon's office and left a message that she should go ahead and send that letter along. And then started a loooong wait. I found out July 23rd that insurance approved my surgery! I am so excited. I'm scheduled for August 13th, with pre-op on July 29th, so now I just wait more.

I've read several reviews and forum posts in which some of you ladies stated that you were feeling lots of different emotions prior to the surgery. Up until now I've been having anxiety about the drive home after surgery (I got in a bad car accident a while ago and I've had pretty bad anxiety in cars ever since), but today was the first time I've felt legitimately terrified about the surgery itself. I've been nothing but excited, but today I was browsing the reviews and I started to feel sick to my stomach and this wave of negative emotion flooded through me. I wonder if this is gonna happen more often in the next two weeks? I really hope not. And I'm worried about the emotional rollercoaster I've read happens after surgery...I've dealt with depression before and don't want to become stuck in that sticky cycle ever again. Anyone have any experience with the same type of emotions? Advice about how best to deal with it?