HELP! - Need to Get Something off my Chest (Literally and Figuratively) - Toronto, ON

Hi there, I'm so grateful to have stumbled on...

Hi there,

I'm so grateful to have stumbled on this site, as I am desperately seeking some guidance. I got 2 tattoos on my chest area on April 3rd, and am in a terrible world of regret. These are not my first tattoos and ones which I had thought about for some time, but the execution wasn't as expected and for some strange reason the outcome has been psychologically devastating to me. I'm not sure why I am reacting so strongly towards them, other than to say my inner voice is telling me that they don't belong on my body. I can barely look at myself in the mirror, I'm so disgusted with my decision and my appearance. I have been unable to sleep or eat since I've gotten them, and am just beside myself over the whole thing.

I'm not sure why I am reacting so strongly over them, as I didn't have any regrets with my other tattoos. Actually, I quite like them. These however, just feel like they are not me. Like I am in a nightmare. They are way outside of my comfort zone and I feel ashamed (maybe because my mother has had breast cancer, and I feel like it would somehow upset her to see these on my chest after all that she has gone through with chemo, radiation, and a double mastectomy). When I think about what she would give to have healthy, natural skin on her chest... well, it just makes me want to crumble. For some reason this thought didn't come to me until I stood up and looked in the mirror. All I could see was pain. Please don't get me wrong-- I'm not laying blame on anyone here except me. In the end, I made the appointment and gave this person permission to do this to me. It's ALL on me.

So, I need to formulate an action plan so that I can put this behind me and move on. I feel that I can live with the flower for some measure of time, but definitely not the bird. It feels menacing and way too edgy. The artist and I also had a strange and uncomfortable conversation when it was getting done, which makes me feel as though there is an unhappy memory or thought attached to it now. I can't explain it without sounding nuts, but I just instantly hated this bird for so many reasons.

Has anyone had good luck in Toronto with a FULL removal? It's on my chest area, so I am concerned about scarring. The bird is mainly black lines and shading, with a little bit of green and yellow. It's about 4X3 inches.

Any advice, guidance, or words of encouragement would be very welcomed!

Hoping to triumph over my stupidity and oversight.

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