Apologies to all. I really blew it yesterday.
Because I always DEVOUR other people's "day of surgery" details, I though it would be "funny" to start my story and thn get cut off mid-way. But to leave people hanging, I needed to be in the middle of a drama. What better drama that a postponed surgery? Will she??? Won't she???
So, halfway through my little ahem.....joke....as I had just faked my phone dying, my friend Toni showed up and stayed until 9:15 pm. I then went to resume and found far too many lovely and caring messages from people expressing genuine concern and worry. And yes, I only then realized what an insensitive and thoughtless trick it was to TRY to pull and I'm truly sorry if anyone felt manipulated. Once again, trying to hard to go for a laugh and went too far. I'm really not that callous and I offer my sincere apology for a bad joke gone wrong. If anyone is still interested, I'll continue from where I left off the "real" version of yesterday's events.
So, re resume our program with the title characters in the OR. Lie down on table with everyone being very solicitous. Nurse (lovely) says "so, let's talk about you for a while." Sure, whatever. Straps down left arm and anesthesiologist does a seamless IV. "this will be a big poke"..."This will sting"....."this may hurt but it will just be for a second". I didn't feel a THING. As in, are you KIDDING me? I had IVs when calving both kids and they didn't hurt either, so either they need to underestimate people's sensation tolerance, or I'm missing a synapse.
Oxygen mask goes over face. I asked if that was how I was being put out and nurse said no, through IV. I asked to be told when the druggie was starting, cuz I wanted to go out with a line. So as soon as Dr. IV said, here we go, I said, "goodbye cruel world". I remember someone saying "don't say that!" and......just like I've read a million times and now, having experienced it, STILL don't believe it, woke up in recovery. Probably the weirdest, coolest, creepiest, most fascinating phenomenon ever. So, out at 9:00 am, 3.5 hour surgery and woke in recovery at 1:15 pm.
When I woke, ZERO pain, ZERO nausea, ZERO anything. Asked to use washroom and was told it was "too soon". Wanna make a bet sister? Asked if I wanted a bedpan. Told nurse thank you, but I'd rather chew on tin foil. Not even a SMILE. Hour later after asking for something to read, or if I could get my iPhone from DH or just ANYTHING to do, I hear nurses saying, Let's move her out. Another nurse says, "no he'll flip" (don't know who, but not PS). So, finally get moved to next recovery unit where they don't MIND friendly, talkative people. Asked what my pain level was and had to say Zero. DH came in (thank GOD because once you wake up there is NOTHING to do but lie there reading notices on walls) and he read me texts from my kids (at camp) friends etc. finally got an apple juice to unglue my tongue from roof of mouth and just chit chatted until the PS showed up...4:00 ish.
First off, he hook my hand and DH's hand. Some part of me found this a lovely, non-clinical touch. Then proceeded to tell us, laughingly, that when he first started to call me back from never-never land ( he likes to be there when patients initially regain consciousness) my first words were, "Aren't you fucking done YET?!".
I. Almost. Died.
Then he asked me how I was feeling and I responded, "About the same you'd feel if someone had just cut off your nutsack".
Now folks, I DO swear. I work in an expletive-laden industry (television). We cru ally TRY to out swear each other. But I was brought up in a very, VERY proper environment. Like over-the-top proper. I do NOT talk to people like that. EVER. Wel, except friends and at work. I am mortified. (But in a sick way, kinda proud I still had my mojo when out of it.)
So, finally, just before we were leaving, I asked for some pain relief because I wondered how ride home would be. Popped a blue pill (didn't get the damned cookies everyone else was given with THEIR pain Ned's. STRONG LETTER TO FOLLOW.
On ride home, complained about my throat (only damned thing that was hurting from stupid tube) so DH asked if I wanted to go to our favorite little Gelateria :). Starving? Sore throat? Umm....YES, PLEASE!!!! HEAVEN.
Home around 6:00, started my ill-though out "funny" update and then Toni arrived and you know hat happened then.
Okay: here's what my buds (those of you that aren't pissed at me) want to know:
A) No drains
B) 500 grams from each breast (1.1 lbs. from each)
C) PS THINKS full D, possibly DD. Based on swelling and bandages, I'm going to guess D, but obviously won't know for ages.
D) LIpo'd sides under arms (ie: top of rib cage) and, unbeknownst to me beforehand, also along bra strap around sides into back. Now what's interesting to me is I am fairly lean at top of rib cage and my back doesn't have much either. So, given I was a 34H or 36G, I can't help but wonder if this won't mean a definite 34. If I'm accurate with my guess of a D, then, could that mean a 34D or a 36C :)))) ?? Can honestly say t this point don't care. DH says they look terrific and much, much smaller. Said he noticed the second he came into recovery. Won't get my first peek until Wednesday, damnit and no flipping' way I'm opening this bra. Ain't rockin' no boat, no how. Will post bandaged pictures in a bit when DH brings me my laptop. He's off making bruch at the moment.
Last night, wasn't tired, so read til 4:00 am and then kept well enough 'till 8:00 then need a coffee. (my one naughtly indulgence during next few weeks will be one coffee/day.....otherwise just proteins and leafy greens and fruit, so don't begrudge me my one au lait every day.). Ended up not on zero gravity chaise as planned and expected. Between IV fluids pumped into me during surgery and the two liters of water I drank when I got home (I wasn't thirsty, just am determined to flush all that crapola out of my system ASAP), I realized I'd be peeing like a race horse every 10 minutes, so opted for bed. I'd been told I could keep flat on my back, just not on sides (as IF!!!), but opted for a wedge which, as predicted, I kept sliding off of.
So far today, it's 1:00 pm EDT, I've stuck with Extra-strength Tylenol as opposed to Tylenol 3's that were prescribed, because I don't like feeling doped-up and I def want to feel some of the discomfort ( and it is JUST that, NOT pain....yet) because I am a quick mover and a vey "busy" kinda gal and this is my only early warning system re: doing too much, reaching wrong way etc.
PS wants me walking tn minutes of every hour while awake (no problem whatsoever) and I'm taking Colase (sp.?), 4,000 mg/day of vitamin C for eight days, arnica Montana for tn days nd Bromelain (sp.?) for...10 days, I think. He didn't suggest arnica zmontana or Bromelain, but when I asked, he said he's never seen any empirical evidence that suggested either dud any good, but no harm in taking, so. I figured, what the hell.
Instructions from PS, besides walking? Arms straight out to sides and lifted to shoulder height many times, throughout day. No raising arms above head. Back and forth swinging of arms okay, but don't exaggerate motion and if it hurts, stop.
So, I think that's every little detail for now. No seepage or sign of any fluid on bra or bandages sticking out if bra - yet.
Will post new pics when Chef DH does my next haul from upstairs which will include laptop.
Sorry again gang, for I'll- thought out and I'll executed attempt at joke yesterday. Just plain old insensitive and thoughtless.
Hope Chippy and Michele are both faring well as can be. Looking forward to reading their updates.
Pre-op gals: I cannot tell you what the next several weeks hold, but I CAN tell you that the surgery was STUPID easy and......yes....everyone is 100% correct; the waiting and worrying is - honest to -God - 500 ...1000 times worse that the ctual surgery. I shit you not. Wasn't possible to be more scared than I.
Post-op gals: I would NOT have gotten though this without your outstanding and loving support. Many of you know I chickened out if this three months before surgery in 1999. I would have again; I KNOW IT. Your insight, experience, honesty and bravery kept me committed and focused. I will never to able to thank you enough. I truly don't want to single anyone out, but I have to offer special thanks to sammysmomma, Iowa, Kate, west coast, se1flove and GG, all of whom I feel an extra special bond with and all of whom - along with every single other member here - have shared openly, willingly and honestly.
I'm buying the first SEVERAL rounds in Vegas :))