Everything is so much better at 6 weeks!

It's 13 days before my surgery and as the date draws nearer, I'm becoming more obsessed with reading up on breast augmentation surgeries and experiences. Just like I do before a trip or any other new experience, I try to soak up as much information as I can so I can mentally prepare myself for all possible experiences and any possible outcome. Finding this site feels like a goldmine! I'm like a sponge soaking up all your stories!

I'm 41 years old with 2 children that I had in my early 30's. Both were breast-fed. I was a 34-B before breast feeding and now I'm a deflated, slightly droopy, asymmetrical 34A/34B. My breasts have always been slightly different in size but the difference between more noticable after breast feeding.

I have thought about getting breast implants since my 20's but wanted to wait until after I was done having children and breast feeding. And so here I am, done having children, divorced, in another committed relationship and really enjoying intimacy again. My only area where I continue to be self-conscious is my breasts so I'm finally making it happen.

I remember walking up to the plastic surgery clinic on November 14th and thinking how surreal it felt to be finally going through with this. The whole appointment was an out-of-body experience, like watching one of those reality shows. The surgeon was fantastic and the interview was very well done but the whole experience definitely took me out of my comfort zone.

I'm a self-employed high-tech professional and training for triathlons keeps me sane in this hectic but rewarding life of mine. So deciding on a size was difficult given my participation in the three endurance sports but with the technology they put in sports bras and athletic gear now, I'm not too worried about it. My research has shown that the running (the highest impact of the three) shouldn't be an issue for the implants once I've recovered. I just need them not to get in the way when I rotate my arms during the swim.

My love for running, biking and swimming, however, wasn't enough to override my need to feel sexy again. I've always been frustrated that I can control the way the rest of my body looks through exercise and nutrition but I can't do anything about my breast size. I tried herbal supplements, creams, and building chest muscles through weights, but of course nothing worked. I am so ready to say good bye to my "athletic build" and hello to my "va-va-va-voom build". :) I can't wait to put on a bikini without worrying about the padding falling out. I can't wait to not have to fuss with my bras because the "ultra" padding keeps shifting across my chest.

With these goals in mind, my PS recommended three sizes for my frame, knowing that I was very active. In my pre-op last week, they used the Vectra 3D imaging to show me what those sizes would look like on a digitized version of my body. That was another very surreal experience; seeing your boobies grow before your eyes. I ended up choosing the middle of the three sizes: 365 grams on the right; 335 grams on the left. That was really hard to do so I picked the middle of the road option between the two extremes.

So, the implants have been ordered, my blood work done, I have my prescriptions, and time has been booked off. Over the next 13 days, I need to fill my prescriptions, get a mammogram (first one for me), and find a wireless, front clasp bra, which is not an easy task, I'm quickly learning!

My surgery is 2 days away so I thought that I'd post an update of what has happened over the last week. After reading others' reviews of their surgeries and conducting rice tests with the sizes I had chosen (comparing pure cc's with a lowered value to accommodate for the compression with sub-muscular implants), I became worried that I wouldn't be happy with the size I had chosen.

When I called my PS's office to talk this through and ask more questions about the reliability and accuracy of the rice test, I was informed that it provides a better value of weight, not profile or projection. Well, a week had passed since my original imaging with the office and, honestly, I had forgotten what the profile and projection was going to look like. I didn't take photos of the images and wish I'd had. In retrospect, I also realized that I was very overwhelmed by the whole experience of watching my breasts grow to different sizes before my eyes and trying to make a decision on my own. The doctor had given us upper and lower limits based on my body size and lifestyle but choosing the final size was very difficult. I found myself talking it through for the most part with the technician and nurse answering my questions about size and weight from one size to the next but not really adding much value.

While speaking with the Patient Care Coordinator at the PS's office to have my questions answered, she pulled up my before and "after" images from the 3D Vectra scan and felt that I would probably be better off with one size up but that there should also be a greater difference in cc's between my two breasts. this is the kind of feedback I wish that I had received when I was there the week before. It gave me much more confidence that she knew what she was talking about. In fact, she felt that the cc's the nurse, technician and I had chosen were still providing an uneven projection. Hmmm. That's not good. So she suggested I come in again the next day to rescan my upper body and play around with the sizes a little more so I jumped at the chance. This time I brought my significant other along as a second set of eyes and also as someone to remind me why I made the decision I made if I started to second guess myself in the coming week. Boy am I glad I did this.

In the end, we ended up going with 345 cc's on the left side and 415 cc's on the right size. A difference of 70 cc's! My previous size selection only had a difference of 30 cc's (335/365). When we plugged in the original numbers again and I was able to compare the new sizes with the old sizes, the choice was obvious. I have uploaded a photo of the digital scan results. The image with 3 versions of my body/breasts shows my current size (far left), my newly selected size (far right - 410/345), and the size I had originally chosen (middle - 365/335). The one on the far right looks much closer to how I wanted it to look. I have also uploaded the image showing the top-down view of the difference between my current breast size and the newly selected size. This was really useful to get a sense of how much more projection I would have.

From an emotional perspective, on the weekend I found myself getting a little panicky, stressed and scared for the first time since making this decision. I originally thought this would be a good time of year to do this because of the forced down time at my office but I neglected to realize how quickly it would sneak up on me and the effect that the added pressure of Christmas shopping and getting the house ready for the holidays would have on my emotional state. Little things got to me way too quickly over the weekend and I snapped at every member of my family at some point. Having this as a focus has made it very difficult to focus on and get excited about Christmas. I finally put up the tree on Sunday but that's the latest I've ever left it.

Today, however, I felt the panic cloud lift when I got the call from the surgeon's office confirming my time of surgery. I can feel the excitement building again now that there's nothing left to do but show up for the operation, which is scheduled for 9 AM on Thursday and so we're required to be there at 7:30 AM. I have all my medications, my "front-loading" bra :), and my nail polish has been removed. I just need to pick a button-up or zipper front shirt to wear that has extra room for my new breasts (woo hoo!). All my shirts are fairly fitted so this may prove to be another unexpected challenge but worse case scenario is that I will bring a zip up hoodie.

It's Saturday and I had my surgery on Thursday morning. I have my new boobies and I'm in recovery mode. Woo hoo! Thanks to all the reviews I've read, my recovery has been text book and it has helped immensely knowing what to expect so thank you all!!

The operation went off without a hitch and I was done in 1.5 hours. I was at the clinic for another 2 hours for observation and was home by 2:00 PM. The drive home was hard. I had some Demerol in me but I felt almost all the pain and every bump on the drive felt like a pothole. I slept most of the way as a means of coping. I was a bit nauseaus but once I got some liquid in me, I started to feel better. When I got home, I started the rotation of meds (oxycodone and another less potent pain/anti inflammatory drug and my antibiotics). I got a couple hours of sleep and woke up feeling much more like myself. I was able to eat a light dinner and watch movies for the rest of the night. I have been sleeping inclined on my back for the last 2 nights.

To help with the swelling and early discomfort, my PS uses drains that come out of each armpit. These drains have been removing about 10 to 25 cc's of blood and fluid from my breasts every 5 hours or so. Without them, the fluid would be adding to my swelling. They're an annoyance but I'd rather have the fluid on the outside than inside me. The amount of fluid is steadily decreasing and so they'll get removed on Monday when my swelling has stopped. I have to record the amounts I empty and bring it to the office with me as it will give them a better idea of how my body has been adjusting to the implants. The upper swelling has gone done quite a bit in the last day and my breasts are beginning to soften.

I find that I feel the most discomfort when I stand up from sitting for a while. I get a little sharp pain for about 10 seconds until everything readjusts to gravity. Otherwise, I've been managing well without the oxycodones all day today. I think I'll be fine with the anti-inflammatory/pain meds for the next day and then off everything except the antibiotics.

I have posted a photo of what they look like today in the bra that I've been wearing since surgery. I was told not to take it off until I see the doctor on Monday. I've peeked at my new breasts a few times and I'm so pleased with the size and fullness. Once they settle into their proper shape they'll be absolutely perfect for my proportions and active lifestyle but still full enough to make me feel sexy. I'm so excited about the bathing suit, clothing, lingerie and even athletic gear possibilities that lie ahead! Bring on those horribly chest-flattening competitive swimsuits now! You know I won't be crossing my arms anymore at the start of my triathlon competitions this summer, that's for sure!