39 Year Old. Gastric Sleeve Single with No Children - Mexico, MX

Well, it has been a long couple of weeks since I had surgery. It is hard to believe it has been three months. In some ways, it feels like it never happened like it was a lifetime ago. I have moved cities and I am looking for a job. I don't have all of my belonging yet so I don't have a scale though I am sure I have lost weight since things are fitting differently. It is funny, I dropped so much weight so fast that I thought if I didn't lose anymore I would still be happy. Now that I have been in the same range for sometime, I feel completely different. I really want to take off the last 30lbs. Last I checked, I had last 40lbs and I am a 10/12. I am not quite happy with were I am though I am not nearly as miserable as I was. I think I will look better at an 8. I am shooting for a 6 and trying to drop as much as I can due to problems with my feet.

Tomorrow, I start a fitness boot camp. The kids start school and I will go directly to the gym after then to the hospital to sit with my brother while I job search. I am so nervous about the boot camp. I used to be an athlete...it is so hard to believe. I hoping the boot camp will kick my workout regime into high gear and get me comfortable with more intense workouts. Then, I will move on to the next level of working out. I am hoping to find a pilates class. Pilates helped me get into the best shape of my life before. It is just strength training. I have all the kids signed up for a sport. I want to make sure we are all on the same page of living a healthy life. I have not been cooking everyday like I did when they were at my house. My dad is here and he cooks almost every night. I am so grateful I don't have to do it anymore. It is actually harder to cook in other kitchens than it is your own. The kids will be taking their lunch so we sat down and planned out the menu for the next 6 weeks. Each person is taking a week of lunch prep so we only have to do it once a month. I am actually excited about the upcoming time with them and they have been happy to have me. They do tease me about my calendars and charts, but I tend not to be as organized without them. It is a real nightmare. It helps me keep track of all the different things that have to be done.

I am planning to sign us all up for Jiu Jitsu when I find a job. I read it is one of the most effective calorie burning workouts you can get. I am also thinking about coaching my nieces soccer team...we will see about that one. All-in-all, I am making the best out of a difficult situation and even enjoying some of it. My carbs are still to high and protein just barely makes it most days, others I miss it all together. The new schedule will help me get back on track. At least, I will have some idea how the coming weeks will go now and having the kids in school gives me time to get the things done that I need to for myself. I also found many support groups here for bariatric surgery patients. I am looking forward to joining them.

It has been a very poor diet week. I got very dehydrated, had days where my calories were to high, and I had too many things that weren't real food. The semester is ending and it is stressful. Add to that, traveling 5-7 hours (each way) to see my brother in the hospital while taking care of his three kids, cooking 2-3 meals a day, caring for my mom, and I am exhausted. It was hard to care what I ate when I felt fortunate enough to find the energy to eat at all. I didn't take my vitamins consistently. I vomited several times and today...today I had diarrhea on an other worldly scale. I have been trying to remind myself that if I can find a way to hold it together when it gets this crazy I will be set. My diet tends to come undone under pressure and I eat to much or not at all. I just need to push and try to hold on.
I was in the process of making the trip back home when the air condition died in 102 temp. I had Gerbers pear chose which was frozen and gatorade that was hot. I mixed them and my body hated it. I was so dehydrated. I consumed a huge amount and I have spent most of the day paying the price for the sugary combo. I have survived it all and made it home safely. I didn't lose any weight over this week. I will find out more tomorrow morning for my official weigh in. However, I realize now I am going to have to plan better. I haven't had time to exercise and I miss it. I need to get back to it as it is a way for me to invest in myself. It looks like I may have to move back to my hometown for a year, which I hate! However, no way my brother can make it without the help. It is stressing me out and that is leading me to return to bad habits. I have been unable to see my therapists as I have the kids and the traveling. So it has been a rough couple of weeks to try to keep on track. I am trying to stay positive. As this is nothing compared to what my brother is going through. I realize how fortunate I am as I have had no complications.

Well, it has been an interesting few weeks. I have lost a total of 37lbs and have atleast twenty more and as much as 40lbs more. My feet are feeling so much better even on the days they hurt the pain level is night and day with the weight loss. For this reason, I want to push for an additional 40lbs. Though in terms of size, that may be to small. I had a few stalls and a couple of gains the last few weeks. I knew it was coming. I still continued to lose inches even though my weight was the same. Then, suddenly a six pound drop in the last few days. Yesterday, at work, I went up to a coworker I had not seen in awhile to ask a question. She looked very confused and then shocked. She said she had no idea who I was at first and that I looked like a totally different person. I had no idea what she was talking about, lol. I thought it must be because I am growing my hair out. It took me a moment to remember that I have lost over 30lbs, lol. It was the first time someone noticed my weight loss or atleast said something about it. I was so excited. As I mentioned before, I am significantly thinner than I was at this weight before. I am unsure why. So an additional 40lbs may not be realistic. I don't know what size I will be at that weight and don't want to be to skinny. I live in the South a little meat goes a long way. I do not have any skin to note of yet. It seems like it is beginning to sag slightly. I have noticed a difference in my breast. They are not scary yet. Just not as perky. I am a little worried. I have repeatedly tried to post pics and realize now that the other pics were taken with my serious DSLR. It does not like my pics from the Android tablet. I will try to take some more on my camera and post.

Now for the bad news. The trip to Paris has been postponed. My niece's father/my brother is in the hospital. He is not conscious at the moment and has a long road to recovery ahead of him which will require me to be around and help with the kids. So we are postponing it. I was absolutely heartbroken about all of it: my brother, my niece, my family. I am going through the motions now and it is hard to stay focused at work or think about weight. Thankfully, there is only two more weeks left before I get a break. I have been driving to and from where he is which is about 6 hours away every week sometimes twice a week. I am exhausted. At first, I was eating rather poorly (I wanted to do the Ketogenic Diet). Now, I can barely eat. I have no appetite. I am sure it will pass and is due to stress. As my family back home has a house full of junk. It is hard to stay straight and to keep food that is healthy as teenagers tend to eat what ever is available. Consequently, I have eaten far less than I should and eaten things I shouldn't. I haven't gone crazy, but I am not following the ketogenic meal plans. I also have been missing my protein mark. I have not had a chance to reorder my protein. I am going to do it this week. I realize it is easy to follow the diet when things are going well. Following it when it isn't, however, separates the successes from the failures. I am determined to succeed.