November 2 WAS the big day! - 2 months post op

Well I have a mammogram in 2 days and paperwork to fill out right after at my PS's office. I also have a deposit of $513 I have to pay. My insurance will be covering 80% of my surgery and they are requiring 200 grams from each breast. I'm kind of glad it's not 500 like most. I feel it gives me more of an option to what size I can request to be. So a little about me, I am 33 with two toddlers (2 and 4) and I am a 38DD or 36 DDD and I have had big boobs since I was 13!! I've always been shy and they just added to my insecurities. I was one of the only girls with big boobs and big butt so a lot of girls hated me and guys loved me. I hated attention....still do. I've been wanting a breast reduction since i was 16 but knew I was too young. Then I wanted it at 18 but decided to wait until after college. Well, then I finished college , got married and decided to wait until after I had kids. And here I am now! I have no one other than my husband and mom to talk to about this. It's all I think about so it's all I want to talk about. I think I'm annoying my mom and my husband just gets nervous. He loves my boobs the way they are so it makes me feel kind of bad that I'm doing this but I'm finally doing something for me! I just hope I don't regret it! I'm so scred to lose nipple sensation and to have uneven nipples and breasts. But I'm excited to start running and to fit into clothes and bikinis. I told my cousins who have little boobs and they think I'm crazy. They say they wish they had big boobs like me. I explained back pain and all of that and they just don't get it. I told my mother in law about my decision and hoped she would volunteer to come into town one weekend to help me with the kids but it didn't happen. In fact, she was so negative and against the whole thing. She just kept telling me how ugly the scars are going to be and how her friends have gotten it done and they hatentheir breasts now and one of her friend wants implants now! I was so discouraged and almost wanted to cry! Why cant anyone be geniuinely happy for me? I admit I'm nervous and I'm not 100% sure I'm making the right decision but Im going for it because I want to. It makes me nervous that my PS won't provide before/after pics. Is this a red flag? I have a friend who had a BR done with him and loves him and is very happy with her results and she says her scars are barely noticeable. She Did lose all feelingnin her right breast though! (yikes)! I just really wanted to tell my BR story and once it happens, I will post more Information and pics. Can't wait to ask my PS more questions at my 2nd and final consultation on Tuesday. I have a huge list. I love this website and all the positive results I've seen. Please comment if there is anyone out there who had felt the same way as me.

OMG! So today was my pre-op appointment and I was so excited to go in and ask my final questions and to register at the hospital. Well....it was AWFUL! My PS did not give me the answers I wanted to hear. I asked him to please not take out too much tissue where I would be a B cup and he said he cannot promise me that. (Do all PS say that?) He was very short with me and almost snappy. He also said he does every BR the same and he doesn't alter towards the patients size preference. (is that weird or am I being paranoid). He also would NOT provide me with any before/after pics. He says that he doesnt want his patients to think they are going to come out looking like someone else in the pics. I wanted to say NEVERMIND. He kept saying, "if you are not prepared to have small breasts, then don't have this surgery. THis is a breast reduction and the goal is to reduce your breasts." And I get that, trust me, I want SMALLER boobs just not TOO small....dont I have some say in this?
I understand that there are patients out there that are in severe pain and want their boobs off at any costs and he was very defensive. I think he thinks I just want it for cosmetic purposes ONLY. I do want a reduction but they are MY boobs and I want them to look good. I still have to live with them. I am only 33! So I left there sad and I went to register at the hospital. I was fighting back tears while I was waiting and on the last step of my registration, a nurse came to give me instructions and I LOST IT. I bawled my eyes out. I told her I was UNSURE and SCARED and I felt very UNCOMFORTABLE. What was I going to do. SHe assured me that it is ok to shop around for other doctors and not to do it if I wasnt comfortable. I am crushed. I have waited so long for my surgery day to come and now I am possibly going to start over???? I sincerely thought I was going to leave there happy and anxious!
Well, I called and cancelled my surgery. :( My husband and mom agree that it is best! btw, my back is killing me as I am typing this! :(

So tomorrow I have another consultation with a new ps in a different town. I hope it goes well. I hate getting my hopes up. I originally had my surgery planned for tomorrow which would have been perfect timing but now I'm not sure when I will get it done. I'm sure this new dr will have to resubmit a letter to my insurance which will probably take 2 weeks. But since my last post, I've lost 2 bras! One underwire poked through one one bra and the other bra, 2 of the hooks on the back bent! I don't think I want to buy another bra since unplanned to have surgery. I have a few more I can use. Well, I will post after my consultation tomorrow. I hope I like him.