40 Yr Old in Need of a Body to Match Her Spirit

I, like many women, want to feel confident in my body. Unfortunately, no matter how much we watch what we eat or exercise, the body doesn’t always snap back as we think it should when we have babies. I was to look as good as I feel spiritually. Also kinda want my ex to regret letting me go ????.

2 yrs ago I stopping making excuses and started exercising for real. The exercising didn’t start out with a purpose. My marriage was falling apart and I needed space. I would leave my house and go walk for an hour. Every day. I started to look forward to my little piece of peace. I found my mind quiet, my heart lifted and my vision clear of what I wanted in life. After 2 months I noticed I had lost some weight. 15lbs to be exact. I told no one but started to make the conscious effort to eat better, stop the soda and work out more. Here I am almost 3 yrs later, 85lbs lighter and in a better mental place.

I have wanted this procedure for the last 10 yrs. I finally got the opportunity and I am grabbing it. I have scheduled a tummy tuck, breast lift with implants. I am excited about it but I have to confess I am scared and the questions in my head don’t stop. Am I being selfish for spending money on my body? How will my body heal from this process? Will I love it when it’s all said and done? Will I be just as sexy with scars? Can I handle the pain? Can I be patient for the results? I guess I find out these answers over this next year.

I won’t update everyday. Just when my though run a muck. This may help calm my nerves and maybe I’ll get answers too. Please forgive any offense to anything I may write from time to time. These are only MY thoughts and feeling about me. I am an in no way speaking for or about anyone. Thank you to anyone who reads this and I hope I can help you in some small way. Healthy healing to everyone about to start, in the middle or near the end of their journey,

I am a part of a BA FB page. I have to be careful opening my feed because random boob pics are always a possibility (haha!) While scrolling through their page I read something about dental work after surgery, 6 months after to be exact. The information gave me pause. I decided to reach out to the patient coordinator and ask. That’s what they’re there for, right? I was also placed back on to birth control after I saw the Dr for my initial consultation. I wanted to know if I would have to stop taking that before my surgery. Was told to stop my naproxen (cramps) and multi vitamin 2 wks prior so was curious if I would have to stop that. Received my response from the Dr as followed.
-only delay dental work IF I was prone to gum or tooth issues/infection. Will call the dentist tomorrow for his opinion about delaying my cleaning for 6 months. I am not prone but why chance it if I don’t have to have a cleaning. I’ll make my decision after that.
-I do not have to stop my birth control. I am allowed to continue it.
This information was based on my information. It is always best to check with your dr based on your health and body.

My second random thought today took place at the oddest time. I was having some “adult” time. Due to the position my tummy was jiggling during. And I am sad to say at one point my stomach was making a slapping noise :/ I’m sure there is someone out there that feels me about that. My man still finds me sexy and can’t keep his hands off me but to say the least it was off putting. I think about the fact that in two months I will no longer have that. It was comforting. Doesn’t make me less nervous about it all but I find a small bit of comfort in that fact. I hope everyone is healing well. I wish you all the best tonight

This past weekend wasn’t a good time for my confidence. I have too much time between now and my surgery. Time that has allowed my mind to think crazy thoughts. Most are the same as I have been having since I made my decision to move forward with my procedures and made my payment to the dr office. Most of my thoughts are about my boobs. But some have been about the hip to hip scar I will have after.

One worry I have is about size. I am currently a 38DD. I have a good amount of breast tissue. However, they lost their fullness and volume with the weight loss and when I stopped breast feeding my kids. My point is in a bra, my breasts are big and appear full. They aren’t. My worry is with the lift and an implant, will they look unreal or huge? I have forwarded pics to Dr. Landon and the patient coordinator showing them what are the end results I am hoping for. Picture Kate Upton :). Bouncy, full but still realistic. My worry is that that won’t happen.

I am not a size 0. Although not as large as I once was. I have always embraced my curves, my jiggle, my ample bottom. My ‘friend’ enjoys them as well and thinks I am sexy. But my worry lately has been about my appearance. I am embarrassed to share that. I am not a vain person. But I am human. When I am naked, will I still look and feel sexy? My scar will be from hip to hip. I get that there is no way around that. But will the result be worth the scar? If there is someone out there that reads this, maybe you can calm my nerves and tell me your thoughts and how your procedure turned out, the results you had. Please no negativity, trying to be and keep positive mental thoughts.

Happy healing everyone