42, 4 Large Babies, Non-reducible Umbilical Hernia, TT, MR, flank lipo

All of this has come up rather suddenly. Although I have known about my hernia for 14 years, it rarely gave me any trouble until recently. And then, It started giving me lots of trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. My GP, sent me to a surgeon who physican friends recommended, and while there I half-jokingly asked if anyone had hernia and TT surgery at the same time. He said, "sure, all the time" and recommended a local PS. A few days later I was in his office. He spent over 2 hours with me going over every conceivable question I could think of. Because I have to have a second opinion on nearly everything I interviewed another PS in town who does a lot of TTs. Both offices were nice but the doctors had two wildly different approaches to my case. After careful consideration I went with the more conservative office and approach to my surgery. I will be having my surgery at the outpatient surgery center attached to the hospital with a general surgeon repairing my umbilical hernia and the PS finishing the surgery with a TT and lipo of my love handles. I should probably mention that I am not at my ideal weight. A fit 175 looks great on me (I'm 5'10") but this summer I was sidelined by a knee injury and then the hernia so I'm a rather squishy 184 now. Less than ideal from a weight perspective but I feel if I have the hernia surgery without a TT, thinking I will have a TT after I get back to my fighting weight, I will chicken out. Wednesday is my pre-op day.

The insomnia has kicked in. I think I make a hobby of worrying just to show God I am paying attention. There is a reason this time though. What started this ball rolling was my non-reducible hernia. It has been so painful for so long that it would wake me up in the night when I moved around. One night last week when I moved around I woke up and noticed hey, no pain. I was awake because I was conditioned to be but again, no pain. The hernia had reduced! I actually rolled onto my stomach to test it. A little sore, but no pain. When I visited mt PS for the final consult I mentioned it to him and he was able to manipulate my abdomen in ways he couldn't before. The hernia is still there of course but nothing like it was. The whole point of having my surgery at the hospital and having a general surgeon handle it is because the hernia would not reduce. The PS offered me the option of reevaluating whether or not we needed the general surgeon. Oh lord, more decisions. In the end I decided to stick with the plan we have. I know surgicenters are great but if my hernia repair causes complications I feel safer at the hospital. The point of all this is if my hernia felt as it does today, I would never have pursued any of this. I would have lived with it (around it) as I have done until this point. I know it's crazy. It has to be repaired because it will act up again. I'm just putting my family though so much. My love bug 8 year old son, who cries when I get my hair cut, is so sad that mommy's soft, squishy, doughy middle that he likes to play with and rest his head on will be gone. After preaching to my 12 year old girl "love your body, love yourself, you are beautiful no matter what" her entire life, here I am having a TT for what I perceive as a fault in my own. For once it is nice having a teenager who is oblivious to everything but himself and the preschooler is just happy Nana is staying with us for a while. Oh, and that is another one. My poor mom who has spent years taking care of my dad through cancer and multiple heart surgeries, just retired last month and is now going to take care of me. Some retirement!! I am sure it will all be better in the morning.

These were done at my initial consultation.