BACKGROUND - WHY I GOT IMPLANTS
I grew up as an...
BACKGROUND - WHY I GOT IMPLANTS
I grew up as an extremely shy and insecure young girl. I was born to teenage parents, and the oldest of 4 children. I suppose in one way I grew up very quickly as I took on a lot of the care-taking of my siblings. In another way, I was still very immature with poor social skills, and to make matters worse, I had taken on board my parents very superficial attitudes to appearances.
So when I left my small town home for the bright lights of the city you can see how breast implants were my answer to all of my problems. I felt instantly glamorous and sexy. I dyed my hair blonde, went to the solarium, started wearing more makeup and wearing sexy clothes. That became my identity and my sole source of self confidence - being the sexy one.
I had 375cc teardrop-shaped implants placed over the muscle at the age of 21. The implants are quite large, and I was a large A to a small B cup to begin with. The implants looked amazing to begin with, completely natural. But within around 2 years the right one had started to contract. This wasn't too much of a problem at first, and it was such a gradual process that I didn't really notice much or in fact care at all.
WHY I WANT THEM OUT
Fast forward 9 years and I became pregnant with my first baby boy, followed 20 months later by my second baby boy. I breast-fed them both for over two years each. In fact I tandem breast-fed for 4 months!
Obviously the capsular contraction on the right makes the breasts appear asymmetrical and uneven in size. I don't wish to have them replaced for several reasons.
I haven't really had any major health concerns with them yet, but I just have a strong feeling that having large foreign objects sewn into my chest is simply wrong for me. They are heavy and uncomfortable, and I'm always aware of them.
I find them quite embarrassing, too. I dress with the one aim of minimizing the appearance of my breasts - especially the right one, lol!
Now I'm 35 years old and the mother of a 2 and a 4 year old. I've done alot of work on myself spiritually and emotionally, and I no longer wish to hide behind all of the smoke and mirrors. I wish to develop real relationships and be my authentic self. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it! To sum it up, the breast implants are a constant and very uncomfortable reminder of, frankly, a very dark and unhappy time in my life.
Having said that, I am planning on having a lift at the time of explant. My skin is quite stretchy and my breasts were already quite droopy from years of yo-yo dieting. My aureoles are huge from all the breast-feeding. I'm pretty sure my nipples would be down at my belly button without a lift.
To be continued!
I had a consultation with Dr James Southwell-Keely at Bankstown hospital in February. He and the registrar that will be involved in my surgery were both polite and courteous. I have been placed on the waiting list, and my operation (explant with lift) is scheduled for October this year. That's about 4.5 months away! I'm so excited!
These giant and misshapen breasts are so uncomfortable and embarrassing. I am a little bit concerned about the massive change in my personal appearance. I'll be going from an E to F cup to a large A, small B at best. I can't begin to imagine how different I'm going to feel.
One positive change will be to my posture, and the health of my back. Also, like many women on this site, my joints have become stiff and creaky in the last few years. Call me crazy, but sometimes I can taste a plastic-like taste welling up from the back of my throat. My lymph nodes are constantly 'up'.
I can't wait to have two breasts of the same size again! The capsular contraction has made the right breast so much bigger, and it seems to be growing and growing!
One thing I've been thinking is that I will buy the biggest, most enhancing silicone bras I can find, and this will hopefully help to reduce how noticeable the change is, especially at work!
I plan to contact Dr Dreilsma to ask him to email my original breast implant before and after pictures. He did a beautiful job, to be fair, and he did recommend that I get implants more along the lines of 250cc, but I insisted on the bigger size. Why? I can't really say. I was so immature and naive. I thought, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing 100%. Looking at the breasts today, it's obvious that my skin couldn't support the weight of the implants.
Original Before and After Pictures!
I received the original before and after pictures from Dr Drielsma's office today. All things being equal he did a great job. I felt surprisingly sad and emotional on seeing these shots. I felt so sorry for the sad, lonely insecure girl in the 'before' pictures. I just want to give her a big hug.
I just wanted to put these pictures side by side for comparison. Wow. They are so much bigger now. This is why I don't even look in the mirror these days. I'm ashamed and I feel, to be honest, grotesque. These pictures really compound that, too. My chest is so heavy and tight, especially the right side. It's about 4 months to the big day now. I really want to focus on clean eating and start including vegetable juice in my diet.
Date Set - 18th July 2016!!!
Well, I had an unexpected but delightful phone call today. Due to a cancellation I presume, I have been moved up the waiting list and instead of 3.5 months, I now only have 3.5 weeks until my big day! I am so nervous! Since I'm quite busy as the single mother of 3 and 4 year old boys, and I also work part time, I've decided to buy vital greens and a good quality protein powder to supplement my diet. I'll also add coconut oil, lemon juice and apple cider vinegar to my morning smoothie. I've already cut out alcohol, diet cola and coffee. I need to heal quickly for my children as well as myself. I'm so happy that these massive hard rocks are finally going to be out of my chest. I'm going to feel so much lighter and have better posture. I'm sure this will make me look and feel so much younger too. Not to mention athletic and energetic.
My only concern is, of course, other people noticing the big change. I'm ashamed of the implants, I'm ashamed of the person I was when I got the implants. I just don't want to draw any more unnecessary attention to my bloody boobs!
On the other hand, I am so looking forward to summer. I'll be all healed up by then, and I'll be able to wear little bikinis, low cut and figure hugging tops without feeling self conscious or ashamed. Yay!!!!
3 days to go
I can't believe it's only 3 days to go! I'm so nervous but I can't wait to be free of these hard balls stuck in my chest. A couple of weeks ago at a dinner party I was introduced to a woman who was booked in for a consultation to have implants. My friend suggested I share my story with her. I ended up telling my story to 6 very interested woman, all of whom had felt inadequate due to their normal breasts at some point. They were very grateful to hear my story. I don't know if the woman in question will go through with it, but I was very happy to be able to share my story with woman who haven't gone through this.
My health is good. The collagen and zinc + C supplements are doing wonders for my complexion which is nice.
I heard someone say they other day that "breast implants turn women into sex objects". That really hit home. Is that all I thought I was good for? Is that really how low my self esteem was, that I needed a surgery to turn myself into a sex object in order to feel worthy? Yes, that's exactly how low low my self esteem was.
I had a massage yesterday, and the shoulder muscles at the back are asymmetrical. No surprise to me considering the constant discomfort of my right shoulder. I will see a chiropractor to have my shoulders and back adjusted when I'm healed. I'll also be very happy to be able to do yoga and work out at the gym without these giant balls bouncing around in my face!
Told my Boss
Ahh! I told my boss I was having a breast reduction. I got the idea from someone else's review on this site. Big mistake. I should have just told her the truth. She said, 'but you don't look big breasted'!
I do cover them up well, especially at work. But then I told her the reason was one was bigger than the other. Which is true. But we both got very embarrassed, and it was very awkward! I'm going to tell her the truth and I think I will just tell everyone the truth. I only want the truth in my life!
They're out! 1 day post op
The op took a bit over three hours. Feeling good, thanks to IV pain relief. I haven't yet spoken to the Dr, but it appears as through things went well.
I had the procedure done through the public system, and so two registrars were involved. One registrar came in to draw my markings before the operation. (Dr Southwell-Keely came in shortly after to correct and complete it, luckily!) She said that I had so little breast tissue she wasn't sure that I could even have a lift, maybe we could just do a mini lift, aeriolar only. This certainly added to my anxiety!
However, when the Dr arrived, he said she was right, but they would have more tissue than they expect, and lots of excess skin to work with, which is a good thing.
I will take a photo later today, but looking down, just through the large squares of tap, I'm feeling pleased with the size and shape! My cheat feels so light and it's comfortable to breath. I'm so happy I did this!
Just spoke to the doctor, he said it all looks good. There isn't much swelling so it looks like its as he first said, a small B cup, which is fine with me!
Operation was on Monday. On Tuesday, I felt absolutely terrible. My blood pressure dropped very low, and I was suffering from severe anxiety most of the day. Thankfully I felt much better by the evening. I will have to stay til Friday or possibly Saturday to make sure my drains empty properly. I miss my kids so much!!! Oh well, its only a few more days. Hospital is the worst!
10 days post
Well I haven't been feeling great mentally, but physically I've been fine, barely any pain. I live in a small community and it's obvious that yes a lot of people notice the difference. My tummy is really bloated and I feel quite unattractive. But I know this will pass. I'm pretty happy with my boobs themselves. I like the shape, they are healing nicely. The right one is a little drop pier than the left ( it was the bigger one). I am hoping it will spring back up a bit as the skin was a lot more stretched. When I am able to exercise I'll feel a lot better.
Thick Brown Liquid
I wanted to make this a seperate post to emphasise the title... The reason the right breast was so much bigger was that it was filled with a thick brown liquid. Probably an old haemotoma (old blood). Yuck! There must have been so much.
Forgot to add the capsule and implants were removed en bloc, which is nice to know.
The right one is definitely looking bigger than the left... We'll see how it progresses. Still no regrets????
I haven't yet mentioned that I had my wisdom teeth out 2 weeks before this operation. So I've had 2 courses of antibiotics. I've been feeling very lethargic and my stomach is bloated and continues to bloat. I can feel that my digestion is not working properly and I've often got a slight tummy ache. I barely have the energy to eat, let alone properly.
I've suddenly realised that it is most likely the antibiotics that have killed off all the good bacteria in my belly. I'm going to start on a high quality probiotic and make it a priority to eat well.
I love my new boobs, but the big bloated belly below it I do not love. Within a month I've gone from a skinny waisted, big breasted woman to a small breasted, big bellied woman!
Still absolutely no regrets, but I am looking forward to banishing the bloat! Thankfully I'm now aware of what was causing the problem!
Nearly 3 months
I hope the skin on the right one shrinks u...