35 Years Old, 14 Year Old Implants. Finally Ready to Be Me! Sydney, AU

BACKGROUND - WHY I GOT IMPLANTS
I grew up as an extremely shy and insecure young girl. I was born to teenage parents, and the oldest of 4 children. I suppose in one way I grew up very quickly as I took on a lot of the care-taking of my siblings. In another way, I was still very immature with poor social skills, and to make matters worse, I had taken on board my parents very superficial attitudes to appearances.

So when I left my small town home for the bright lights of the city you can see how breast implants were my answer to all of my problems. I felt instantly glamorous and sexy. I dyed my hair blonde, went to the solarium, started wearing more makeup and wearing sexy clothes. That became my identity and my sole source of self confidence - being the sexy one.

I had 375cc teardrop-shaped implants placed over the muscle at the age of 21. The implants are quite large, and I was a large A to a small B cup to begin with. The implants looked amazing to begin with, completely natural. But within around 2 years the right one had started to contract. This wasn't too much of a problem at first, and it was such a gradual process that I didn't really notice much or in fact care at all.

WHY I WANT THEM OUT

Fast forward 9 years and I became pregnant with my first baby boy, followed 20 months later by my second baby boy. I breast-fed them both for over two years each. In fact I tandem breast-fed for 4 months!

Obviously the capsular contraction on the right makes the breasts appear asymmetrical and uneven in size. I don't wish to have them replaced for several reasons.

I haven't really had any major health concerns with them yet, but I just have a strong feeling that having large foreign objects sewn into my chest is simply wrong for me. They are heavy and uncomfortable, and I'm always aware of them.

I find them quite embarrassing, too. I dress with the one aim of minimizing the appearance of my breasts - especially the right one, lol!

Now I'm 35 years old and the mother of a 2 and a 4 year old. I've done alot of work on myself spiritually and emotionally, and I no longer wish to hide behind all of the smoke and mirrors. I wish to develop real relationships and be my authentic self. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it! To sum it up, the breast implants are a constant and very uncomfortable reminder of, frankly, a very dark and unhappy time in my life.

Having said that, I am planning on having a lift at the time of explant. My skin is quite stretchy and my breasts were already quite droopy from years of yo-yo dieting. My aureoles are huge from all the breast-feeding. I'm pretty sure my nipples would be down at my belly button without a lift.

To be continued!

I had a consultation with Dr James Southwell-Keely at Bankstown hospital in February. He and the registrar that will be involved in my surgery were both polite and courteous. I have been placed on the waiting list, and my operation (explant with lift) is scheduled for October this year. That's about 4.5 months away! I'm so excited!

These giant and misshapen breasts are so uncomfortable and embarrassing. I am a little bit concerned about the massive change in my personal appearance. I'll be going from an E to F cup to a large A, small B at best. I can't begin to imagine how different I'm going to feel.
One positive change will be to my posture, and the health of my back. Also, like many women on this site, my joints have become stiff and creaky in the last few years. Call me crazy, but sometimes I can taste a plastic-like taste welling up from the back of my throat. My lymph nodes are constantly 'up'.
I can't wait to have two breasts of the same size again! The capsular contraction has made the right breast so much bigger, and it seems to be growing and growing!
One thing I've been thinking is that I will buy the biggest, most enhancing silicone bras I can find, and this will hopefully help to reduce how noticeable the change is, especially at work!
I plan to contact Dr Dreilsma to ask him to email my original breast implant before and after pictures. He did a beautiful job, to be fair, and he did recommend that I get implants more along the lines of 250cc, but I insisted on the bigger size. Why? I can't really say. I was so immature and naive. I thought, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing 100%. Looking at the breasts today, it's obvious that my skin couldn't support the weight of the implants.

I received the original before and after pictures from Dr Drielsma's office today. All things being equal he did a great job. I felt surprisingly sad and emotional on seeing these shots. I felt so sorry for the sad, lonely insecure girl in the 'before' pictures. I just want to give her a big hug.