A Fuerzas

There is something that I have learned about myself:

My measure of success is GROWTH. My ability to expand as a person, even when my progress may seem diminutive, is the thing that brings me the most satisfaction. I am happiest when I am evolving.

I saw Dr. Craig on Friday, November 13th for my yearly check-up. I was very pleased with myself. I've lost 10lbs and gained 5% lean muscle mass since my last appointment.

The surgery was the beginning. A jumpstart. I've challenged myself to become more.

I feel more empowered today than ever before. If all of life's mysteries would suddenly unfold and every answer were to satiate its question the key to my nirvana would still elude me. The only mystery that I must master to achieve bliss is me.

There is something sobering about being the only person from whom I cannot retreat, I cannot abscond, and whom I must not evade. That obvious truth compels me to become the expert on me. I strive to know what drives me, to discern my core elements, to circumspectly identify the 'why's' of my actions and the feelings behind them. I am finding that as I become more efficient at executing those objectives, the moments of bliss become more abiding.

When I know 'Me' I engineer the components that surround me into the edifice of my happiness.

"I'm a big girl...Now:" There is growth in knowing who I am and that knowledge will make the rest of my journey a little less lonely.

It's been 19 months since my surgery. Went in for a check up today because I thought that I hurt myself lifting a lawnmower onto the bed of a truck. Doc says everything seems fine. Took pictures. I've gained a few pounds, but I'm happy with my body. I love my curves.

I was a little worried to see the Doc and make him feel like I ruined his work. He was good. Damn good...errrh... supportive and professional, I mean.

If I had to do it all over again, I would probably not pick a surgeon that turns me on. Just saying. As I've stated before, it is so rare for me to find someone that I am attracted to. My husband has me wrapped around his finger so well that I NEVER even give anone a second look, but today... that's a different story.

I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I am so glad that they don't check vitals at the follow up appointments. The facial hair just works.