6 weeks post op. - Springfield, MO

I am 23 years old, a full time college student, with 2 little boys at home that I take care of with the help of my amazing boyfriend. Of course, I got these awful battle scars from my children. I had my first right out of high school, I was 18 and gained a total of 65lbs. I went from 140lbs to 205lbs by the end of my pregnancy. I gained 85% of that weight in the last 3 months, leaving me with this nasty tummy! My 2nd pregnancy wasn't as bad, I only gained 35lbs and it was so much easier to lose the weight.

I have a small torso as it is, I'm mostly all legs, so when my stomach makes room for a baby, it has to stretch a lot!! I lost all of the weight after both pregnancies, I am now down to 126lbs. My doctor even tells me I'm tiny, so there's not hardly any fat to remove, just excess skin.

As the date gets closer, I get more excited, but I also feel a little more guilty. I know saving this money could help pay off my student loans, get a more reliable vehicle, or just take care of my children more securely in general..but I know I deserve to be happy and it's only a one time thing. If I can spend $5,000 on a down payment on a house, just to end up giving it to my ex and moving out of it anyway because of a break up. (Which really did happen.) Isn't this lifelong happiness more worth it? I'm so ready!

Well, this is it! The night before my surgery. This past month has flown by and every day was more surreal. I still can't believe it's finally happening. I've had dreams about it nearly every night. Either dreaming about something going wrong financially, physically, or just me with an amazing flat bikini body! My head is all wrapped up in it. The only bad thing about it, is that my surgeon doesn't make time appointments, so I just have to wait around from 5:30am-5:30pm on a call so they can tell me when to come in, but I guess that makes it feel even more unreal because I don't know when it's coming. Anxiety! I'm also kind of scared and nervous about being under while they do surgery, just because of the stories about sometimes you get paralyzed from the anesthetic, but can't actually tell them you are still awake and still feel EVERYTHING. I hope that really doesn't happen! I'm sure I'll be back on here after this is all over to let everyone know how it went. Wish me luck:)

Yesterday was a little more crazy than I was expecting it to be, but I've made it out alive:) First off, I received a call around 1:00pm from a nurse asking why I wasn't at the hospital yet..I answered confusedly, well, a nurse was supposed to call me when I was supposed to come in because they did not set up a time for the appointment. She then said one moment while she talked to my doctor..about 2 minutes later got back on the phone saying they would have to reschedule. I was so frustrated that I flat out told her no way. I hadn't even or drank anything for the past 20 hours, I took off school 2 days earlier than my spring break actually started, and there was no way I could reschedule except for a couple of months away because they only schedule surgeries on wednesdays! Thank the lord that my doctor changed his mind in the end since they realized it was them on fault. Well, when I arrived at the hospital, it was now 1:30pm, they had me waiting in a room for about an hour before calling me back to the room telling me I had to pre-register. I looked at them and said, I called the toll free number to pre-register already last week? She then said, well we do not have your medical history on file and at that point I was just not thinking I was going to to do the surgery because it was already almost 3:00pm. I told her that when I called I asked if they needed my medical history and the nurse said no, we do not need that information from you..thankfully we got to speed through that process since they had everything else about me already on file so I was finally ready to go back into my room.
They prepped me for surgery, my doctor reminding me how well it will look and that I would have maybe a little stretch marks not even a quarter inch right about my panties still after the surgery. They gave me so relaxation medicine called versa I believe and then put the mask over me, the next thing I knew, I was out.
When I woke up, my doctor told me it well, I had two drains in, and then showed me my new stomach. Well, I was expecting something different that I almost cried in front of the doctor from being disappointed. Before I had the surgery, my stretch marks were not even a half inch above my bellybutton, and after my surgery, the stretch marks are RIGHT at my belly button. Yes, the loose skin is gone but what the hell? Us women who have this, know we want to come back without stretch marks still way up to their belly button! I wanted to be able to wear a bikini and feel self conscious and have something to hide...well looks like I'll still be hiding! As I am really disappointed, I'm still happy the skin is gone, and maybe soon I will just get a colorful tattoo to cover up the thick stretch marks that lead to privates.
I'm still laying in the hospital bed right now. It has been 40 hours since Ive had anything to eat still and have no tried to walk because I've been in a constant pain of about 7 and am really nauseas from all the pain meds and no food. On top of that, my catheter doesn't even work right, so I have to wake up like every hour to mess with the hose and drain it myself..I just feel like Cox Hospital wasn't the very best location choice right now! Hopefully I'll be up in a little while moving around..I'll probably post pics later tonight of the results.