The Tummy Tuck Roller Coaster - United Kingdom, GB

52 years old. Always been apple shaped - weight hangs around my middle and rolls up over my waistbands. Ugh. Add to that a bit of lipo - which I DO NOT recommend - leaving loose skin that swells and bloats and a late baby (at 42) and I really don't like myself undressed. Being single makes it harder - those first throws of dating lust are hampered by that niggling reminder that he's probably not going to want to look at or touch those zones and that in turn, turns me off. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damned fit for my age and with a decent bit of panty hose, I can still show off my best feature - my legs. But I'm fed up of adjusting my waistband to 'tuck the middle aged spread in' when I sit down. I spend years pulling this way and that at the skin on my belly. A few years ago I asked a couple of surgeons - one of whom poo poos the idea as "you don't want a scar". Well actually mate - I'd rather have a scar than this girth of hanging waste skin thanks! So, many years later, I bite the bullet and make more enquiries. This time, I'm greeted by a bright and cheerful guy who grabs the loose skin and pulls it in sideways. There he announces - your love handles have gone. I feel a rush of excitement. He looks at other battle scars and tells me I scar well and that it will fade wonderfully. I can't get on his list for 4 months and I count down the days, longingly scanning the net looking at all those skinny taught bellies and wondering why their surgeons do such horizontal scars instead of nice u-shapes at the pubic line. The day comes and I am very excited and the surgeon is super smiley. Alas in his scrubs I don't recognise him and mistake him for an anaesthetist!! Oh dear! - He takes it on the chin. When I wake up I'm a bit sore and cranked into a W shape in the bed - knees and head up. This is because they fold you when the sew you back up to make sure the skin is stretched. The drains mean you can't lie comfortably on your sides, but the first two nights in hospital pass easily - I am committed to this and still excited about my new look. In my head I have transferred the after photos to my own midriff and it feels good. The drains come out on day two which is a relief - at home I relish the comfort of a bigger, softer bed and curling up on the sofa. Over the next few days I am adjusting to how to sleep comfortably, examining this huge - and yes - horizontal - line across my belly and how to walk bent double. I suffer these inconveniences cheerfully in the knowledge that it is all going to work out fine. By day 7 I'm hoping to start feeling more upright, less swollen and to see progress. But it doesn't happen. I risk a small shopping excursion and feel like I have two heads walking around with a noticeable hunch back. I can see people feeling sorry for me and I want to shout "Don't - I did this for me!". But then it's a big secret - the world think I've had a 'woman's op' and I stay indoors to avoid the awkward questions that might reveal my vanity. The next few days are slow and I am becoming impatient. I can only walk like a snail whilst the family bound on ahead. I can't dog walk, exercise or dance (my burning hobby). I eat more as I have no concentration so little to do. I feel bloated, my tummy is very swollen and, as I can't stand straight, my posture is terrible. I feel like I have gone backwards - I look hunched, pot bellied and the swelling makes the skin feel still very flabby. I don't like it at all. Although my surgeon has done a good job and the scar is hidden even in pretty skimpy pants and is really healing very well, but it is still ugly. The stitches make the scar lumpy and gathered, especially at the ends; my pubic hair area has been pulled up by the scar an inch - I'm praying that this will drop when the swelling subsides. By day 14 I start to be able to lift my head and pull my shoulders back a bit. The scar is healed enough to start massaging it. I had no dressings - the surgeon used glue to seal it and this has now worn off. The day that most of the glue came away I was super happy - the scar underneath without the blood stuck to the glue, was so well healed it looked 6 months on. It's now day 15 and the post-op doubts are setting in thick and fast. The scar is high in the middle and would be visible if my pants moved; the ends of the scar are untidy (the doc did say these can be tidied up under local afterwards if necessary); the swelling makes my skin hang like the old baby bulge when I sit down and I hate it; my tummy sticks out just like before - I don't seem to have gained any extra muscular tightness (yes I did have internal stitching and I feel it when I strain); but worst of all, I feel that midriff bulge and the excess skin above my navel is still there. I can still grab a handful of skin at my waist and an inch over my ribs. The skin from my belly button to my pubic hair is as tight as a winch - I still can't stand straight. But from side to side I feel as loose as ever. I am hugely disappointed and bitterly regretting not pressing the love handles consultation further. In fact I wish I had pressed the whole expectation discussion a lot more. I was very focused on getting a decent belly button (I'm really happy with that - it's better than my old one!), but I took the side to side tightening as read. I never even saw before and after pics from this doc, I just liked his confidence and smile! Don't get me wrong, I think he's a highly recommended and reputable guy. I just think that I assume great things and don't always check that my expectations are realistic. Right now I have a six inch square tight belly, but I still have love handles and even that new taughtness sticks out like my old pot belly did. I'm still swollen that is obvious, but I'm fearful that the result is going to be very localised to the front of my belly and that the midriff and love handles will remain problematic and that my dream of a youthful bikini shape will not materialise. And on top of that I have to wait up to two years for this scar to disappear. The last week has been a real slog and I don't know whether I could do it again. I'm no stranger to the post-plastic surgery mental state, I've had several previous procedures. You have to go through a come down from your idealistic mental image to the reality. In this case I had read so many 'worth it' reviews that I had high hopes of a dream figure. Alas I think I may have been a bit over-optimistic. I'm both desperate to get to the 6 week stage to see the results with less swelling and fearful - if then I still feel like this then I will be disappointed with my results.

Woke up this morning much less bloated and more optimistic. Morning is the best time of day after a tummy tuck. As the day wears on, the swelling settles on your scar line and things get very saggy! I've been feeling a burning sensation across my midriff and I'm hoping that this means I'm knitting back together. I can also feel the internal stitches tug from time to time. I'm still finding walking difficult. Haven't managed a dog walk yet. The post box is quite an excursion. But I'm ticking off the days and hoping that by week 4 I will start to emerge from the cocoon and start to spread my wings. I can't find into jeans yet - I tried them today and it feels like a bad period day after a holiday weekend feast! Strangely that gives me comfort that I'm just swollen still. Been exeptionally tired the last couple of days - I'm hoping that's not a sign of infection. Roll on tomorrow.

Well after reading on this site about fluid, I was able to realise that the sloshing in my belly was more than just tissue swelling. So I called the hospital yesterday and went to see my surgeon this morning. He said that I'm doing really well and that yes, there's a little fluid build up but that it would have gone by itself. However, as I was there he drained it off for me. Around 50 ml after a little squeezing. The nurse also removed a stitch that was poking through to tidy things up and the last two minute bits of dried blood. The scar is looking so happy. It gets a little red when I massage it and I wonder why we use cream at all? If I massage without cream, it doesn't go red. Still very bloated - even after being drained down, but I'm less paranoid about the end result now as I can begin to see that I will definitely be better off after this. My sis says I look 30 - well my belly does at any rate! Still hoping my love handles shrink a bit, but all this sitting around is probably fuelling them up nicely! One day (and a lot of fruit instead of biscuits) at a time!!! THe surgeon says that the ruching of the scar will resolve itself, but that if it doesn't he can fix it under local anaesthetic easily. He really is a cheerful chap (even though he had a rotten cold today).