learning the important things in life - 24 years old, implants removal - Spain, ES

After a long time I finally have the strengh to...

After a long time I finally have the strengh to put into words all my experience. It is very difficult for me to explain all my feelings and all the things I suffer from these last months. I have always wanted to have big boobs, I was a 34B (90B in Spain), which was ok, but I thought it was not enough and even although my family and my boyfriend said that I didn't need anything, I started to obsess with BA and with my little boobs. I was really obsessed with the physical appearance and I was really hard with myself. I started to work and save money for the surgery for two years, and finally this year I had the money. So in november 2015 I decided it was time to realize "my dream" because I was dreaming about wearing beautiful bras and bikinis without padding since a long, long time ago. The weeks before surgery I was so nervous and I had some nightmares, but I thought it was just because of the fear of GA. Finally I did it, I put 360cc round moderate profile under the muscle. What have I done? I wake up from the GA crying, oh my god. But that day I was more or less ok. As soon as I came home the following day, I realized I have made a huge mistake, the worst mistake of my life. I didn't listen to my family and my boyfriend.... I am stubborn sometimes and I have done what I thought I wanted, or better said, what I thought I needed..... What wrong I was. The days passed and I was crying almost every time....I remember that sometimes I tried on clothes and bikinis and smiled for a while and after that cried again. The results were good, I mean they looked how I was looking for (well, they looked beautiful but not natural) but they weren't me. I felt like I was wearing a disguise and I didn't like the idea of being "sexy" just because of something made of plastic inside of my body. I started to develop anxiety. I didn't want to eat, and I couldn't sleep. My family looked for some help to me. I saw a psicologist who gave me some anxiolytics so I could sleep and be calm more or less. I couldn't believe this was happening to me as I had always been so cheerful. Week after week I continued feeling blue. People said that perhaps it was normal and I needed time to get used to the implants, but all I thought was "What have I done? I miss my cute, small and warm boobies". I didn't see an exit, I thought that my life was completely destroyed. Fortunately, I found this website, and I started to read some reviews and saw some pictures of all of you, and I felt better, I was not alone, I was not strange for rejecting the implants. Here, there are awesome women that have helped me a lot, for real. All of you are so, so nice, supportive and brave I know that all of your experiences and your words help me in my very bad moments and I think I have to share my story in order to help others as well. So thank you very much to all of you. After a month of the BA I had a consultation with my PS and I explained what I was thinking about, I couldn't stand to have foreign objects inside me. I know before the surgery I touch the balls, and I saw them, but it definitely not the same to have them inside you 24 hours. I couldn't sleep, I notice them every time. They were fake. I felt shallow and so bad with myself for putting my body through all of this procedure and I was really worry for all the risks that carry the fact of having implants (cc, autoinmune diseases, rupture, linfoma....) I know, I have had to think of that before doing it, but until you don't have them inside you don't know what is it like. The surgeon was really impolite, he didn't care at all. He said I was feeling blue just like a depression postpartum. I don't have children but I though definitely it is not the same. He was so cold and unpleasant. He really dissapointed me. Didn't he have a heart or what? He treated me like I was crazy or something and he wasn't willing to do my removal. He said literally that he needed a psiquiatric report to remove them after six months or even more time and he also said that my boobs would look like if I had slim down more than ten kilos. I knew he was wrong because I had saw yet some pictures here in realself. A psiquiatric report? why? because I felt bad to do this to my body? Are you kidding me? I only wanted to be me again. I didn't want to have plastic balls, thats all. No, he didn't want to take them out. He and his workmates were so heartless with me and he treated me like a piece of meat. I was living a nightmare, all my life I was thinking that I needed those implants to be complete and I realized I was wrong and it is a strong shock. I was crying every day and I developed a deep depression, all I thought was to be like before and what I was thinking when I decided to do that and cut my body just to have more boobs, what a pitty. It is really sad to want something and realized you were perfect before after doing it, and in adittion I have scars to remind my huge mistake, ough. Well, I started to look for another surgeon and luckily I found one. He seemed profesional and in his website he claims that he cares of patients. I noticed it was different as in the first clinic they have no patients, they have customers. This new doctor was really supportive when I told him my feelings and my story. He tried to help me and explained to me all the procedure. He explicated that implants make a pressure on the mammary gland and he adviced me if I was sure to remove them, the sooner the better. Completely different of what my original PS have said. I decided to trust him and I finally had my removal after 8 weeks of my BA. The surgery was so easy and quick, when I opened my eyes I remembered feeling peace and freedom. I felt my body. I came home the same day, and well, I throwed up all day, with my BA happened the same, I always throw up the anesthesy, I don't know why. I wore drains for the following 3 or 4 days, and after these days I finally checked my little and poor boobs. They were smaller than before. I cried a lot, what have I done to my body? Months passed and my boobs recovered almost everything. Now I am 4.5 months post removal and my boobs look so much better, they are soft and pretty similar to before. My PS said it will take 6 months to a year to stabilize everything so with time they are supossed to get better. I am using the same bras as before BA and I have bought some new bikinis which fit me like before :) I recognize myself when I see me in the mirror. Just me, nothing more. Now I feel so much better, after a month or so after removal I stopped taking anxiolytics and nowadays I travel, I go to parties, I go shopping, I study....I do everything with peace in my mind. Unfortunately, I have the scars which I hate, and remind me of my mistake but with time they were fade and I hope they will be almost invisible. This is my hope. They are improving every month, I am using rosehip oil and silicone strips. I also try to massage them once or twice per day. Thank to my family, my boyfriend and this awesome website to support me, and make me feel better because it was until now the worst experience of my whole life. We have now a chance to grew, to be a better person, to make the world a better place. I also have to say that my original clinic don't even call me to know if I am alive or not, they don't care at all. For luck, not every clinic is they same but from my point of view almost every of them see that as a business and as a product to be sold. That's all. They forget the human part, they forget we are people. Before undergoing on a plastic surgery, I think the surgeon should asks why you want to change this part of your body or whatever. My original PS said to me at the first consult that I have beautiful breast. Why didn't he ask me why I wanted to change them? I know it was my decision but they forget the psychological part, which in my case, I never thought I would regret the implants because I wanted them so badly and as soon as I did it, I regreted them. So please, it is necessary a big explanation of the procedure and the risk in short and long term. I respect all ladies who are happy with implants, but as I see it, implants are not a part of us, we will never be plastic balls and they don't last forever so it's really sad to condition your life to an operating room every now and then. Why does society make so much pressure on the physical appearance of women? Society sells to us a stereotype: you have to be perfect, perfect boobs, perfect body, perfect everything. Well, everybody is unique and perfect, because maybe I don't have big boobs, but small boobs are beautiful too and maybe I have to focus in other part of my natural beauty. Because all of us have a special thing, we are all beautiful and special in one way or the other. Natural beauty is more gorgeous than anything else. Boobs don't define you as a woman, they are just a part of you, but we are more than that, we are humans, we have feelings, we have thoughts, dreams..... if all of us follow the orders of society all of us will be exactly the same, same fake boobs, same fake buttom, same artificial mouth, what's the point? If ever a boy tells you that your boobs are not enough or something, you could say to him: "Ok then, augmentate your private parts, and be happy with silicone inside you, and of course BYE BYE :)" Thanks for all your support ladies, enjoy life, and please love and take care of yourselves because you are going to be with yourself all your life ;)
Dr Gutierrez

My doctor was really comprehensive and he resolved all my doubts.

4 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
4 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
4 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
4 out of 5 stars Payment process
4 out of 5 stars Wait times
Was this review helpful? {{ voteCountOthers + ' other' + (voteCountOthers == 1 ? '' : 's') }} found this helpful