POSTED UNDER Breast Implant Removal REVIEWS
Ready for my body to match my mind. *Explant* 27 Years Old... 3 Years Post BA - I.E. , CA
ORIGINAL POST
I'll start right off the bat by saying I don't...
WORTH IT$3,345
I'll start right off the bat by saying I don't even have a consultation booked...though I have doctors in mind and will hopefully be consulting within the next couple of months. I know when I go through this site, I tend to comb through the reviews to find those who have been through the process so I can get some motivation/inspiration/idea of result....feel free to just skim through my life story.
I thought though, that through this process it might be good for me to keep this as kind of a Boob Journey 2.0 diary.
So if any of you ladies are up late at night, looking through this site and hoping for a long winded boobies story...you've come to the right review.
I wanted a breast aug for as long as I can remember. Well, let me rephrase that...I wanted nice breasts for as long as I can remember. Nice, normal looking breasts.
I was raised by a single mom who had a boobjob before I was born. So growing up my idea of normal breasts were beautiful, perfect, round, perky boobs. Her sister had "fake" boobs as well and they were never shy about nudity...in fact I can't remember a day growing up, seeing my mom do her hair or makeup in clothes lol ...so the naked boobs that I saw growing up were prob not the best example of "normal."
As soon as I started developing boobs... they were not quite right. I figured I just had "puberty boobs" and they would eventually fill out and look normal. While my version of normal was a bit deluded...I learned when researching and going in for my BA that I actually had a constricted inframammary crease which basically results in what looks like underdevelopment of the lower pole of your breasts and low nipple position.
I also always had some asymetry.
So through school while I was waiting for them to catch up....my friends started getting boobs and while they didn't have the round look my mom had...they definitely looked different than mine. I went through high school with a C cup but always wore push up bras because they would fill out the lower pole which I didn't have. I referred to them as torpedo boobs. Filled up top...drooped down into kind of a triangular shape with nipple at the bottom.
Needless to say I started researching breast augmentations and doctors by 16 probably. I went to my first consultations at 18 and after 3 decided I would wait it out. Needed to financially...but also was extremely discouraged when told by a doctor that I was a "bigger girl" who would therefore need bigger implants. He was pretty adamant I should choose implants somewhere between 600 and 700 ccs.
I did my best to put boobs out of my mind...well they were never out of my mind lol....for a while and focused on being kind to my body and getting healthy.
I began eating clean and working out and lost 40 lbs. After a couple years of maintaining that...and in turn having even lower nipple position and asymetry now due to deflation from the weight loss I set my mind on consultations again.
One of the doctors I consulted with at 18...his bedside manner and personality in general was not inviting but his procedure pics on his site were great...had stuck in my mind. I'd visited his site pretty often....
I set up a consult with him. My best friend had decided kind of on a limb when I told her my want for a BA that she wanted one too so we set up back to back consults and they actually saw us together. After our consult with him...we felt good and liked his game plan and approach...albeit still not the friendliest...but I think better perhaps now that I was older and taken more seriously...we cancelled our next consult with another doctor and booked our surgeries.
Our surgeries were done on the same morning...with me going first.
We had totally different goals for our surgery outcomes. She naturally had great boobs...tiny but great. She wanted "big, round, and fake." I actually prefer the look of small boobs to larger ones and for me it was always about shape. In fact, after losing weight I was about an A cup...maybe close to a B in my right breast....but I kinda loved the smallness....it was the shape that upset me. I stressed that to our doctor and at one point mentioned to him that I would be totally fine with A or B cup breasts if the shape was pretty. I stressed that I wanted natural...hopefully no bigger than a small C and that I didn't want to walk in a room and people be like "woah BOOBS." I also love to work out...specifically jogging everyday and a regular yoga practice so it was very important for me to be able to continue those things.
We ended up deciding together on 350 cc silicone gel implants under the muscle via my crease...which he would have to lower and essentially recreate...and a crescent lift.
I had dealt with issues and insecurities with my breast for years at this point and didn't expect a miracle but figured anything was better than what I had.
Fast forward to surgery day and I was feeling totally zen...had a bit of back and forth in my mind because I was so about living clean and healthy and I was deciding to put these foreign objects in my body....but had decided that the chance to feel normal and comfortable in my own skin was worth it. Surgery went well. I woke up fine and the first words out of my mouth were "are my nipples in the middle of my boobs now??"
Next day we have our first post op. He checks out my friend first. Says she looks beautiful and he couldn't ask for a better result. He then opens my surgical bra and says "Well your right boob is always going to be your weird boob but left looks good."
My heart sank. Not 24 hours after paying him $8,000...he tells me one boob looks good.
I tried to shake it off and be positive about dropping and fluffing and all the things you learn to look forward to when you have a BA. Our next appt was exactly a week later. (We live 3 hours away from our surgeon btw) He takes out all our stitches. I had stitches in my incisions in my creases as well as the top half of my nipples from the crescent lift. My nipples seemed a little less willing to let go of the stitches but his nurse got them out and taped me up. I was not to remove tape but could shower and was to start wearing underwire bras immediately. I shopped for underwire bras and had to pad the actual wire area with folded gauze because it hurt my incisions.
I was a 32 DD btw.
A couple of weeks go by and my steri strip/tape finally peels off in the shower...only to reveal that my right nipple had a gaping opening where nipple had not healed back to breast skin above. It was terrifying and I immediately broke down crying. It looked as though it had been like that for a while and the inner layers had begun healing with this half inch bloody, puss-y scary space. I could see a total disconnect of nipple from breast. I was scared that my nipple would die. The left had a couple spots as well that were open but wasn't nearly as bad.
My fiancé called the surgeon's office for me because I was inconsolable but of course they couldn't give him any info so I had to pull it together and get on the phone. Well my surgeon was on a month long vacation out of the country. They told me to buy some steri strips and keep them on for a couple weeks until he was back. I bought steri strips and we tried our best to use the tape to lift the nipple up to the breast where it should attach. I decided to call back that day and insist on getting into someone to be sewed up. I got an appt the next day with another surgeon who was taking some of my doctor's overflow I guess while he was vacationing. I'm positive my stitches shouldn't have been taken out so early but my surgeon had to leave for vacay so that was that. The other surgeon actually mentioned that a week was very early to have taken out my crescent lift sutures. He numbed me in office...had to re cut my incision and scrape out with the scalpel the deep layers of skin and tissue that had started to heal with that large gap.
A few weeks later I had to have the other side done as well by my surgeon as it had healed with large gaps and wide scars in those spots.
Took me a while to get back to normal and to get cleared to workout or anything. I'm a hair stylist so i can make my own schedule but had to keep short days and I didn't blow dry clients while nips were stitched.
Around 4 months post op I started noticing a prominent double bubble and it looked as though my left implant was bottoming out and pretty extreme flex deformity in both breasts.
At my 1 year post op I brought these issues up to my surgeon and he became very defensive. I told him that I appreciate his work and I don't think it was anything he did...I thought I had quite a lot to correct in the first place so maybe it was my body. His defensiveness immediately made me feel different though. He told me "your left breast is a perfect breast so I'm not sure what you're seeing."
I have posted some photos in the questions area on RealSelf and have been very relieved to have doctors confirm my concerns.
He continued to ask what I thought we should do. So I told him "I'm not the surgeon...I'm coming to you to find that out."
After that appt I felt devastated. I contacted the office and asked them to have him contact me because we did not come to a conclusion or plan.
He called me within a couple days and was much nicer over the phone. Maybe he got over his pride...or didn't want a bad review. Idk.
He told me for the double bubble that I see the only true fix would be a full lift. I asked why we didnt do that in the first place...was it because I didn't have enough breast tissue? I shouldnt have put the words in his mouth because he just agreed with that and we moved on. He said the only way to fix the flex deformity which he absolutely could not deny...because it is beyond obvious and actually a bit startling to see...would be to move my implants out from under the muscle...score the back of my muscle to help it adhere back to my chest....and move the implants to a subglandular position.
So either two invasive procedures or choosing which issue to deal with because he said "well of course I couldn't do this all for free." So I remember it seeming like he leaned toward implant repositioning...and he'd do that for free but I still had to pay 1200 or 1500 for anesthesia fees.
I have pretty good intuition... perhaps aside from booking my original surgery with him...and my gut just told me no. My wallet as well lol seeing as I was still paying off my BA.
Phew....so now I'm almost 3 years post op.
I was really depressed about my boobs for a while...I'd cry often about them...and just felt like an idiot for putting myself in debt for something that didn't turn out well. I've gotten past the depression part. For the most part in clothes I can camouflage it and they look good. I have to be careful in super tight things with thinner fabric because of the double bubble and flex issue show through but besides that they are fine clothed.
However...I feel constantly aware of them. I feel as though I feel them slide under the muscle especially laying down when they slide into my armpit. I physically move them back to the center of my chest and hold them there. I rarely let my fiancé even touch them...even just playfully because they are uncomfortable. I can't workout like I used to and that is so important to me. I also am still a clean eater and try to be as holistic as I can and I jokingly said to my mom the other day "I don't eat preservatives but I have silicone implants. That's bizarre."
But it's so true. The sacrifices lifestyle wise...implants not quite matching my "clean body, clean soul" values, workout difficulties (though I didn't realize how much that would change)...I thought I could handle those sacrifices if I felt normal and comfortable in my skin...but that never happened.
So now I think...
I could have a revision and hope for the best...and then potentially have more revisions if issues aren't resolved...or I can explant and embrace my natural body. I prefer little Tatas anyway and never wanted "big" boobs. I think explant would be on my mind even if they looked fabulous. Perhaps not as much but I think at some point my soul was bound to override vanity and the superficial insecurities. And those insecurities are worse now I think, having kind of just magnified "weird" boobs lol with new issues. Even if they're not beautiful after explant...they are mine and they are natural and I can move on and live my life...natural and free. Plus, the poor things have been through a lot haha
(I've read some reviews that led me to research breast implant illness a bit and while I don't think I necessarily have it or have any official diagnoses...I do share some symptoms with women who believe their implants were at cause and have experienced relief since explant....so it kinda feels like the universe is telling me something lol)
So now that I've written a novel. Here's to starting the journey...........
I thought though, that through this process it might be good for me to keep this as kind of a Boob Journey 2.0 diary.
So if any of you ladies are up late at night, looking through this site and hoping for a long winded boobies story...you've come to the right review.
I wanted a breast aug for as long as I can remember. Well, let me rephrase that...I wanted nice breasts for as long as I can remember. Nice, normal looking breasts.
I was raised by a single mom who had a boobjob before I was born. So growing up my idea of normal breasts were beautiful, perfect, round, perky boobs. Her sister had "fake" boobs as well and they were never shy about nudity...in fact I can't remember a day growing up, seeing my mom do her hair or makeup in clothes lol ...so the naked boobs that I saw growing up were prob not the best example of "normal."
As soon as I started developing boobs... they were not quite right. I figured I just had "puberty boobs" and they would eventually fill out and look normal. While my version of normal was a bit deluded...I learned when researching and going in for my BA that I actually had a constricted inframammary crease which basically results in what looks like underdevelopment of the lower pole of your breasts and low nipple position.
I also always had some asymetry.
So through school while I was waiting for them to catch up....my friends started getting boobs and while they didn't have the round look my mom had...they definitely looked different than mine. I went through high school with a C cup but always wore push up bras because they would fill out the lower pole which I didn't have. I referred to them as torpedo boobs. Filled up top...drooped down into kind of a triangular shape with nipple at the bottom.
Needless to say I started researching breast augmentations and doctors by 16 probably. I went to my first consultations at 18 and after 3 decided I would wait it out. Needed to financially...but also was extremely discouraged when told by a doctor that I was a "bigger girl" who would therefore need bigger implants. He was pretty adamant I should choose implants somewhere between 600 and 700 ccs.
I did my best to put boobs out of my mind...well they were never out of my mind lol....for a while and focused on being kind to my body and getting healthy.
I began eating clean and working out and lost 40 lbs. After a couple years of maintaining that...and in turn having even lower nipple position and asymetry now due to deflation from the weight loss I set my mind on consultations again.
One of the doctors I consulted with at 18...his bedside manner and personality in general was not inviting but his procedure pics on his site were great...had stuck in my mind. I'd visited his site pretty often....
I set up a consult with him. My best friend had decided kind of on a limb when I told her my want for a BA that she wanted one too so we set up back to back consults and they actually saw us together. After our consult with him...we felt good and liked his game plan and approach...albeit still not the friendliest...but I think better perhaps now that I was older and taken more seriously...we cancelled our next consult with another doctor and booked our surgeries.
Our surgeries were done on the same morning...with me going first.
We had totally different goals for our surgery outcomes. She naturally had great boobs...tiny but great. She wanted "big, round, and fake." I actually prefer the look of small boobs to larger ones and for me it was always about shape. In fact, after losing weight I was about an A cup...maybe close to a B in my right breast....but I kinda loved the smallness....it was the shape that upset me. I stressed that to our doctor and at one point mentioned to him that I would be totally fine with A or B cup breasts if the shape was pretty. I stressed that I wanted natural...hopefully no bigger than a small C and that I didn't want to walk in a room and people be like "woah BOOBS." I also love to work out...specifically jogging everyday and a regular yoga practice so it was very important for me to be able to continue those things.
We ended up deciding together on 350 cc silicone gel implants under the muscle via my crease...which he would have to lower and essentially recreate...and a crescent lift.
I had dealt with issues and insecurities with my breast for years at this point and didn't expect a miracle but figured anything was better than what I had.
Fast forward to surgery day and I was feeling totally zen...had a bit of back and forth in my mind because I was so about living clean and healthy and I was deciding to put these foreign objects in my body....but had decided that the chance to feel normal and comfortable in my own skin was worth it. Surgery went well. I woke up fine and the first words out of my mouth were "are my nipples in the middle of my boobs now??"
Next day we have our first post op. He checks out my friend first. Says she looks beautiful and he couldn't ask for a better result. He then opens my surgical bra and says "Well your right boob is always going to be your weird boob but left looks good."
My heart sank. Not 24 hours after paying him $8,000...he tells me one boob looks good.
I tried to shake it off and be positive about dropping and fluffing and all the things you learn to look forward to when you have a BA. Our next appt was exactly a week later. (We live 3 hours away from our surgeon btw) He takes out all our stitches. I had stitches in my incisions in my creases as well as the top half of my nipples from the crescent lift. My nipples seemed a little less willing to let go of the stitches but his nurse got them out and taped me up. I was not to remove tape but could shower and was to start wearing underwire bras immediately. I shopped for underwire bras and had to pad the actual wire area with folded gauze because it hurt my incisions.
I was a 32 DD btw.
A couple of weeks go by and my steri strip/tape finally peels off in the shower...only to reveal that my right nipple had a gaping opening where nipple had not healed back to breast skin above. It was terrifying and I immediately broke down crying. It looked as though it had been like that for a while and the inner layers had begun healing with this half inch bloody, puss-y scary space. I could see a total disconnect of nipple from breast. I was scared that my nipple would die. The left had a couple spots as well that were open but wasn't nearly as bad.
My fiancé called the surgeon's office for me because I was inconsolable but of course they couldn't give him any info so I had to pull it together and get on the phone. Well my surgeon was on a month long vacation out of the country. They told me to buy some steri strips and keep them on for a couple weeks until he was back. I bought steri strips and we tried our best to use the tape to lift the nipple up to the breast where it should attach. I decided to call back that day and insist on getting into someone to be sewed up. I got an appt the next day with another surgeon who was taking some of my doctor's overflow I guess while he was vacationing. I'm positive my stitches shouldn't have been taken out so early but my surgeon had to leave for vacay so that was that. The other surgeon actually mentioned that a week was very early to have taken out my crescent lift sutures. He numbed me in office...had to re cut my incision and scrape out with the scalpel the deep layers of skin and tissue that had started to heal with that large gap.
A few weeks later I had to have the other side done as well by my surgeon as it had healed with large gaps and wide scars in those spots.
Took me a while to get back to normal and to get cleared to workout or anything. I'm a hair stylist so i can make my own schedule but had to keep short days and I didn't blow dry clients while nips were stitched.
Around 4 months post op I started noticing a prominent double bubble and it looked as though my left implant was bottoming out and pretty extreme flex deformity in both breasts.
At my 1 year post op I brought these issues up to my surgeon and he became very defensive. I told him that I appreciate his work and I don't think it was anything he did...I thought I had quite a lot to correct in the first place so maybe it was my body. His defensiveness immediately made me feel different though. He told me "your left breast is a perfect breast so I'm not sure what you're seeing."
I have posted some photos in the questions area on RealSelf and have been very relieved to have doctors confirm my concerns.
He continued to ask what I thought we should do. So I told him "I'm not the surgeon...I'm coming to you to find that out."
After that appt I felt devastated. I contacted the office and asked them to have him contact me because we did not come to a conclusion or plan.
He called me within a couple days and was much nicer over the phone. Maybe he got over his pride...or didn't want a bad review. Idk.
He told me for the double bubble that I see the only true fix would be a full lift. I asked why we didnt do that in the first place...was it because I didn't have enough breast tissue? I shouldnt have put the words in his mouth because he just agreed with that and we moved on. He said the only way to fix the flex deformity which he absolutely could not deny...because it is beyond obvious and actually a bit startling to see...would be to move my implants out from under the muscle...score the back of my muscle to help it adhere back to my chest....and move the implants to a subglandular position.
So either two invasive procedures or choosing which issue to deal with because he said "well of course I couldn't do this all for free." So I remember it seeming like he leaned toward implant repositioning...and he'd do that for free but I still had to pay 1200 or 1500 for anesthesia fees.
I have pretty good intuition... perhaps aside from booking my original surgery with him...and my gut just told me no. My wallet as well lol seeing as I was still paying off my BA.
Phew....so now I'm almost 3 years post op.
I was really depressed about my boobs for a while...I'd cry often about them...and just felt like an idiot for putting myself in debt for something that didn't turn out well. I've gotten past the depression part. For the most part in clothes I can camouflage it and they look good. I have to be careful in super tight things with thinner fabric because of the double bubble and flex issue show through but besides that they are fine clothed.
However...I feel constantly aware of them. I feel as though I feel them slide under the muscle especially laying down when they slide into my armpit. I physically move them back to the center of my chest and hold them there. I rarely let my fiancé even touch them...even just playfully because they are uncomfortable. I can't workout like I used to and that is so important to me. I also am still a clean eater and try to be as holistic as I can and I jokingly said to my mom the other day "I don't eat preservatives but I have silicone implants. That's bizarre."
But it's so true. The sacrifices lifestyle wise...implants not quite matching my "clean body, clean soul" values, workout difficulties (though I didn't realize how much that would change)...I thought I could handle those sacrifices if I felt normal and comfortable in my skin...but that never happened.
So now I think...
I could have a revision and hope for the best...and then potentially have more revisions if issues aren't resolved...or I can explant and embrace my natural body. I prefer little Tatas anyway and never wanted "big" boobs. I think explant would be on my mind even if they looked fabulous. Perhaps not as much but I think at some point my soul was bound to override vanity and the superficial insecurities. And those insecurities are worse now I think, having kind of just magnified "weird" boobs lol with new issues. Even if they're not beautiful after explant...they are mine and they are natural and I can move on and live my life...natural and free. Plus, the poor things have been through a lot haha
(I've read some reviews that led me to research breast implant illness a bit and while I don't think I necessarily have it or have any official diagnoses...I do share some symptoms with women who believe their implants were at cause and have experienced relief since explant....so it kinda feels like the universe is telling me something lol)
So now that I've written a novel. Here's to starting the journey...........
Replies (8)
March 31, 2017
I have told some close family and Spoken about it to a couple clients I have who have gotten breast augs...my mom is really supportive. My aunt...who I'm really close to has dropped the phrase "well I just hope this isn't a phase you're going through....you better make sure you're sure." I understand her concern and I'm trying not to be sensitive to the fact that she thinks I would impulsively make a rash decision. Though RealSelf has really helped because even if it was just me changing my mind and deciding I feel like having small boobs now for no other reason...that would be ok. My fiancé I think is nervous. I don't know that he realized he was a boob man lol until there were actually boobs to look at and to a man I think perhaps the issues that are so obvious to me are kind of hidden behind the fact that there's big boobs. So I'm working on including him in the research and kind of showing him the process as I research and learn myself. He'll be supportive no matter what I do...but hopefully I'll get him fully on board and thinking this is the best option.
June 13, 2017
September 24, 2017
Oh what a distressing disappointing experience you have had my heart goes out to you. Obviously that surgeon was not trained to do a breast lift. I would stay well clear of him, find a qualified PS to rectify his bad work. I wish you all the best .
September 24, 2017
Thank u. All is well now. I had my explant few days ago and it was the best decision I could have possibly made for myself. Three years of not feeling comfy in my own skin seemed to vanish the second the first implant was pulled out. It was amazing.
UPDATED FROM Kell329
5 months pre
Just a late night Boob Journey 2.0 diary entry... Embracing the unknown.
I have moments of total sureness. I think I might be making up that word.
I have moments of total certainty that explant is the way to go for me. "Moments" sounds too minuscule. I feel this way more often than not. But those sneaky negative, fearful thoughts creep in and I second guess myself and get anxious.
We're funny that way I think....humans in general. We can have a million positive thoughts...a million "pros" on the pros and cons list...and that one "what if" tip toes in and throws us for a loop. It's kind of like having a bucket of white paint and adding a drop of black...you probably will still end up with some version of white...but it's tainted and dingy and murky.
How bizarre that choosing to surgically implant something foreign into your body... (something that assumedly you viewed as a permanent alteration)...is easier to do than choosing to remove said foreign objects and return to your natural state.
What?!? lol
I chose almost 3 years ago to put my body through that..worse, to pay someone else to put my body through that lol
...to literally alter my anatomy in hopes that I would feel "normal."
Interesting when you really think about it right?
Yet, with a final result that is leagues away from what I had hoped for and a constant internal battle between my mind/my lifestyle and my body...I still have moments of doubt. They are few and far between...and once I've shaken it off (and taken an accountability photo)...I am usually catapulted back to my firm footing in explant territory.
I thought the other day, how strange it is that now that I've got this decision floating around in my mind of course my boobs start looking better to me. So I'll take photos of good boob moments...and wonder if I'm being impulsive.
Here's the kicker....Then I'll look back at those photos and I see that my "good" moments are what I've settled to. My "good" moments are actually "not as bad as usual" moments and I don't think that is something we should feel.
Am I scared that I'll feel that when I explant? Of course. But I think it will be different. I think I can handle feeling that about my natural self if I have an off day. I think I'll handle that better than feeling that way about a physically manipulated...and voluntarily altered (and expensive lol) version of myself.
And I think something that makes me nervous is that I have some hope I won't feel those negative feelings. I don't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed or have a twinge of regret. I researched and planned for my breast aug for nearly 10 years and was disappointed.
Then I see beyond the superficial. This isn't entirely aesthetic for me. I'm sure it doesn't sound like that now as I ramble on. It's easy to get caught up in that though. I can't imagine anyone approaches a decision like this without some desire to be aesthetically pleased. I have to remind myself of the other, more important reasons I'm making this decision. I want to feel good and fit and active...how I live and consciously focus my life as spirit...and not be restricted by my breasts and their aesthetic flaws and physical limitations. Gotta bring myself back down to Earth when the unknown starts to seem scary.
Who would've thought boobs could occupy such a giant space in your mind? Lol
Hopefully not for much longer.
I have moments of total certainty that explant is the way to go for me. "Moments" sounds too minuscule. I feel this way more often than not. But those sneaky negative, fearful thoughts creep in and I second guess myself and get anxious.
We're funny that way I think....humans in general. We can have a million positive thoughts...a million "pros" on the pros and cons list...and that one "what if" tip toes in and throws us for a loop. It's kind of like having a bucket of white paint and adding a drop of black...you probably will still end up with some version of white...but it's tainted and dingy and murky.
How bizarre that choosing to surgically implant something foreign into your body... (something that assumedly you viewed as a permanent alteration)...is easier to do than choosing to remove said foreign objects and return to your natural state.
What?!? lol
I chose almost 3 years ago to put my body through that..worse, to pay someone else to put my body through that lol
...to literally alter my anatomy in hopes that I would feel "normal."
Interesting when you really think about it right?
Yet, with a final result that is leagues away from what I had hoped for and a constant internal battle between my mind/my lifestyle and my body...I still have moments of doubt. They are few and far between...and once I've shaken it off (and taken an accountability photo)...I am usually catapulted back to my firm footing in explant territory.
I thought the other day, how strange it is that now that I've got this decision floating around in my mind of course my boobs start looking better to me. So I'll take photos of good boob moments...and wonder if I'm being impulsive.
Here's the kicker....Then I'll look back at those photos and I see that my "good" moments are what I've settled to. My "good" moments are actually "not as bad as usual" moments and I don't think that is something we should feel.
Am I scared that I'll feel that when I explant? Of course. But I think it will be different. I think I can handle feeling that about my natural self if I have an off day. I think I'll handle that better than feeling that way about a physically manipulated...and voluntarily altered (and expensive lol) version of myself.
And I think something that makes me nervous is that I have some hope I won't feel those negative feelings. I don't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed or have a twinge of regret. I researched and planned for my breast aug for nearly 10 years and was disappointed.
Then I see beyond the superficial. This isn't entirely aesthetic for me. I'm sure it doesn't sound like that now as I ramble on. It's easy to get caught up in that though. I can't imagine anyone approaches a decision like this without some desire to be aesthetically pleased. I have to remind myself of the other, more important reasons I'm making this decision. I want to feel good and fit and active...how I live and consciously focus my life as spirit...and not be restricted by my breasts and their aesthetic flaws and physical limitations. Gotta bring myself back down to Earth when the unknown starts to seem scary.
Who would've thought boobs could occupy such a giant space in your mind? Lol
Hopefully not for much longer.
Replies (2)
June 12, 2017
I had a friend who had hers removed and she was very happy with her decision. I wish you loads of luck with your journey. I think you are making the right decision.
February 10, 2018
It sounds like you really have had clarity. Will be interested in the next part.
UPDATED FROM Kell329
5 months pre
Inhale. Photos. Exhale.
Alright...photos have helped me learn and be encouraged and find motivation on this site....hopefully mine will help someone else. Here goes. ????
Replies (6)
April 1, 2017
Your natural boobs look so much nicer. I'm sure you'll look great after replant. You're young and haven't had them in long. Good luck with your journey. I'll follow your progress. X
April 1, 2017
Thank you so much! I'm hoping time and age are on my side:) took quite the roller coaster ride for me to start seeing that perhaps my natural breasts would be more attractive than these big ol new ones.
April 4, 2017
And they feel so much better natural. I was amazed to see my tiny boobs actually jiggle!
I had mine out under local so I was awake and the feeling when he pulled them out almost made me cry. Such a huge relief. My body just said "ah finally".
I had mine out under local so I was awake and the feeling when he pulled them out almost made me cry. Such a huge relief. My body just said "ah finally".
April 1, 2017
I am so sorry for all you went through - how terrifying. And disappointing. That's the deal with BA, it's a total crap shoot. We can't really predict what we'll wake up to. They tell us complications are rare - until they happen to you and then they aren't. Ah the fine print...
You are young and have beautiful skin. You looked perfectly lovely before - youll look great without the implants! It's hard to describe how wonderful it feels to be implant free. I was always aware of mine and how unnatural they were - hard, unmoving, ripply, cold. I never could fool myself that they were real. I put off getting rid of them for 30 years(!) because I thought I'd look awful. I am SO much happier with how I look now, and how I feel there is no comparison. I know the scariest part for everyone is the fear of looking deformed. Women who get BA are already super conscious of their appearance so it's even harder for us. But you can take heart knowing the vast majority of women on here have no regrets about getting rid of their implants. Since you don't have a health issue with the implants you can take your time with your decision. You don't need to rush. When you are ready you'll know. I hope the support you find here will help you on your journey! (((Big hug)))
You are young and have beautiful skin. You looked perfectly lovely before - youll look great without the implants! It's hard to describe how wonderful it feels to be implant free. I was always aware of mine and how unnatural they were - hard, unmoving, ripply, cold. I never could fool myself that they were real. I put off getting rid of them for 30 years(!) because I thought I'd look awful. I am SO much happier with how I look now, and how I feel there is no comparison. I know the scariest part for everyone is the fear of looking deformed. Women who get BA are already super conscious of their appearance so it's even harder for us. But you can take heart knowing the vast majority of women on here have no regrets about getting rid of their implants. Since you don't have a health issue with the implants you can take your time with your decision. You don't need to rush. When you are ready you'll know. I hope the support you find here will help you on your journey! (((Big hug)))
April 1, 2017
Daylily....you are so right! After all the research and the reassurance from my surgeon...you still can't fully know or prepare yourself. And I am constantly aware of them and never got to the point that my friends/family with BAs have gotten to where they feel like a part of them. I'm so inspired and comforted by women's stories on here and their results and more than anything the fact that like u said...there's no regrets. So true that we are so tuned into our bodies...aesthetically of course and physically...acutely aware of every little thing and it occupies your thoughts at an unhealthy level I think when you are at this point of needing the change you know. Your comment made me feel great and happy to be on the right track here and glad to know I'm not alone in this experience. Thank u so much!
April 4, 2017
So glad to be of help! I could not have worked up the courage to get rid of mine without the support of the women on here. And when it looked SO awful right after they talked me in off the ledge and helped me be patient. It's a roller coaster so buckle up! But you are going to be just fine brave explant warror! We are here for you XOXO
Hey there! Welcome, and thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I love stories that begin right at the very start, as it gives us an opportunity to follow your entire journey. Have you shared your plans with your friends and family? How have they reacted? Looking forward to hearing about your consultations once they start. Good luck!