64 Years Old, Removing Implants 6/4 After Almost 40 Years- Can't Wait - South San Francisco, CA

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Hello ladies, I want to thank everyone so much for...

Hello ladies, I want to thank everyone so much for posting on this site- I don't think I would feel as positive as I do without you all. I have a much better idea of what to expect and am so grateful! I am 64 and had my implants put in when I was a bout 24. Silicone, under muscle. These are still my original implants- I can't imagine how I made it this long, but I did. A mammogram looked suspicious and an MRI confirmed a rupture in one implant, so I am covered by my insurance and don't want a replacement. I was a A-- (pretty much flat as a board) when I was young, lacking self confidence, sure implants would help me feel secure, sexual,etc etc. I liked them at first but to be honest it was a big pain... in dating, it is pretty obvious and I was embarrassed. Now am married and my husband says anything is fine and he wants my health to be good. But he's in for a surprise! I expect to look really flat chested. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and there will be something there. I have gained 20 pounds over the years, so who knows.
Just want to say good luck to you all, I know some of you are near the same explant date as me, and I feel it's important to "pay it forward" by sharing my story for others who are as scared of this process as I was just a month or so ago. Reading other reviews and hearing how we all thought of ourselves when we did it versus how we should feel about ourselves has made me rethink everything and feel good about it.
So here goes.
I will try to put up a picture. I didn't get huge implants so didn't have the health problems (sore next etc ) that some have, but they are hard as a rock and I definitely felt what people said when they said they were afraid to hug because it is such an unnatural feeling to have these tennis balls in the way.
Thank you all for being there.

my breasts pre-explant

4 days to explant, nervous, random thoughts

Hi everyone
I am four days to implant (6/4) and so nervous about outcome. My implants have been in almost 40 years-yikes! I don't know what my dr will find, if he will be able to save any of my minimal breast tissue, if he will know how to work with what I have, etc. Afraid I will be very concave. I know there is nothing I can do at this point but wait and see.
On another topic, I haven't told most people I have implants. They've been in so long that my friends are almost all people I met after BA. Only people who know are my husband and my brother and sister in law. My daughter is in college, and I am going to tell her when it is over. She doesn't know either. I never wanted her to follow in my footsteps, so felt I better not talk about it. The secrecy is also part of the shame I feel- which is so silly! I color my hair, wear makeup, why do I feel such shame that did this thing to try to feel better about my body? Right now my plan is not to tell people except for 2 or 3 select friends. There are some friends I could tell who would tell EVERYONE I know, they can't help themselves. The gossip is just too good. I will wear a padded bra, and hope they will react as many have said- thinking I lost weight! My husband doesn't understand the shame and secrecy- he would tell anyone anything! LOL. But I am private. I hope after explant I will feel a relief that I don't have to carry this secret around. What's weird about it is I am a very open person and outgoing etc. and keeping a secret is not like me at all. I think it shows the depth of my guilt and shame. I think it's partly my age group. Maybe younger BAs are more open- after all, it's going on everywhere. But when I did it, back in the 1970s it was pretty out there.
That's my little rant for today. Just so so nervous. Counting the days.
Hang in there, all of you! Thank God for RealSelf and the women who have shown their pictures and written their stories. I'm so sad to see that some women I am following "disappear" after their explants- maybe they are disappointed, maybe they are "done" with thinking about it all, I don't know. But it's so helpful to see the "afters" and be prepared. So you will definitely see mine!

one day post surgery

My surgery was yesterday- I'll update with details later- but basically all went well, and here I am- pretty darn flat but we will see what happens in a few days and when I get drains out and can see better... I feel great! A bit of a shock and a cry when I first saw how flat, but I am still happy it's done. More later

day 2

Hi all, Here is what I am looking like day 2- I see what people mean when they say their pictures look better than the real life situation- !! this makes me look like I have tiny breasts but believe me they are flat! Still, I am happy to be done with it and don't want to discourage anyone...I had a very easy experience after surgery- have had no pain, but that's because I am following nurse's orders to take 2 vicodin every 4 hours whether I think I need it or not. It works! She says the problem comes when we let pain get started - then it is very hard to "stop" it from continuing. Hope that makes sense. Anyway, I would highly recommend her method. It is Saturday, and my surgery was Thursday. I have seen some puffing today so am hope flu there will be a little more. Drains are still in. Hope to get them out Monday or Tuesday.

day 3 after surgery

Here we are on day 3- I know this sounds silly given the tiny amount of breast tissue I have left, but I am so happy! I had a couple of girlfriends over yesterday to tell them what I had done- wanted to quit feeling so guilty and ashamed about my "secret" - they were great! Never knew I had implants and were quite shocked. I know they will not be able to resist sharing with others but I don't care anymore. Let people think what they want. I was 24 or so when I had it done, and it's time to forgive myself, be kind to myself and move on. Does that make sense? I think because when I had the implants (the 70s) just after college, it was a real time of feminism and women weren't really talking about plastic surgery much. Now younger women are often sharing, comparing, being open about the whole thing. Being older also has given me a little better perspective- life is fleeting, just be kind to others, enjoy what you have, don't worry, etc. The thing is, in college I had two boyfriends who loved my skinny little body, who never had a problem with my breasts being small. So why did I think I had to change? Don't know. My husband is fine with me- any size, any shape. Well- rambling a bit this morning. The outcome I have is actually better than when I was in my 20s- I had almost NO breasts, and am pleased to see I have a tiny fullness emerging. Tiny, haha.
Well, Just want to keep putting up pictures and comments since it was so important to me when I was researching explanting to see outcomes, and I want to give that to others...take care!

feeling a little down today- it's not easy

The emotions were overwhelming yesterday, had the drains removed and realized that I am even flatter without them in! They were adding a little support. Went home from PS feeling low, ugly, unsexy, wondering how I am going to hide my result,etc. Very bad day. My husband pointed out that I may have post-surgical depression and that since I had been on vicodin for pain for 4 days post surgery and then just quit, I may be feeling that letdown, too. Has anyone had that reaction? So I took a vicodin. Will try half today and see if that has any effect. My husband reassured me that he likes these breasts better, but what is he going to say, really? That he's shocked? I don't know. Crying as I write - I feel like I shouldn't be so superficial and I am TRULY glad I did it, but your mind plays tricks. Maybe all the emotions I had when I was young and flat chested are coming back up- the feelings of not being good enough, etc. I look at the women here who I believe have had very good results and I see that they feel sad, too, some of them. So it's not logic that's going on, it's emotional baggage and pain and I have to learn to love these little breasts and apologize for all I've put them through. We all have to. WE are fortunate if we've come through this whole process in one piece. I've always suspected that there are some who have really sad outcomes who don't even want to share, and I understand that. It's a very lonely feeling if you aren't happy. Anyway, just checking in- feeling sad and flat, and need to pick myself up and be happy for what I have...I have to laugh as I;m putting the pictures up, because as many have said before - the pictures actually do look better than the real thing!

Feeling GREAT- telling people/ accepting& loving the new me

Hi All
My last update was kind of negative- but indicative of how things go after a change like this- there are some shocks to the system after so many years of looking one way...but wanted everyone to know how HAPPY I am now- I love my new streamlined (and yes- flat!) body. I am still wearing my little compression bra, but now daring to go out in public with it. I'm too early to shop for cute padded bras, which I'm sure I will enjoy- but I feel so free and even attractive! As "Dove" wrote to me (and it really hit me)- why is it that big breasts are considered so pretty and small breasts not? I am small but nicely shaping up, and it's really all in our heads, isn't it? I have also had a good experience telling a few select friends- they were so happy for me, more curious (they never guessed) than judgmental, and if they are the type of good friends you want, they are supportive. EVERYONE has done something they regret in their lives, haven't they? I was dreading telling my (college age) daughter and it was fine- we laughed , and she is thrilled to have something to tease me about. So all is good...hugs to all
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