Ready to Share my Story.... - Shreveport, LA
I decided early this summer that I would take the...
It's almost like I'm doing that nesting thing that we do when we are pregnant and preparing for the new arrival...except in this case the arrival is the new me...rather than a baby.....I'm very organized so maybe it's just that I want a very clean house during the almost two weeks that I'll be recovering..idk...I'm weird like that I guess.
So I have been shopping for all the things I'll need....so far I have spanx (not real spanx...found some awesome hanes brand at target for $18 a piece and I swear by them). I have spanx and I will never buy a pair again after finding these. I got some gas-x, stool softeners, sports bras, pj's that button in the front and some other things that I can't think of right now.
I'm really confused on what size bras to buy. I've been buying 36 DD...I am currently a 36D..im having a lift with prob about a 400cc implant not sure yet....any of you ladies that can shed some light on this it would be much appreciated.
I was telling a friend of mine that I am convinced that having PS is like Grief...there are stages....I am currently in the "why am I doing this?" stage. The one where I keep asking myself if the results will be good enough to justify the pain and financial investment. I am within 30% of my ideal weight but I am still overweight and I have a lot of stretch marks. I know the ones above my belly button won't be gone but I am praying they are mostly down below where my swimsuit or panties are. I have NEVER in my adult life worn a two piece bathing suit. I was also "husky" as a young adult and never dared wear one and well after having kids....it definitely wasn't going to happen. I told my husband that I think it's almost sad that at age 32 my body will look better after plastic surgery than it did in my teens before having kids....oh well...better late than never I guess.
I'm going to the Dominican Republic in March and by darn it I am going to wear a two piece! This will be my first time ever going ANYWHERE tropical. Yes, that's right! Also, it's a trip paid for in full my my work since I have for the first time reached President's Club status at work.....I have worked for this for 2.5 years and I have finally made it. I can't wait to take my husband on this amazing one week trip that will cost us nothing! The resort is even all inclusive and that includes tips! I'm like...what!? I have got to look great by March. I am in an office full of guys pretty much and all the other people that made President's club are guys that are bringing their super hot trophy wives.....ugh...I willl not be the fat girl in a one piece and shorts...no! Lol
Well that's my soap box for now....I promise I am going to post better before pics tonight....
Ok so here is my random epiphany... Today is 10/22...guess what happend today? I started my period!
My surgery date is 11/22...yes ladies.....I'll be starting my period just as this hell if a surgery/recovery begins. Ain't that a *bleep*
Ugh...that is all for now....
Today was my pre op!
17 days left until my surgery. I dont think we can call my surgery a mommy makeover because most people have this surgery to get back their pre baby body. I've never had a flat stomach or ever worn a two piece. I will look better after surgery than I did before babies. I don't want to say this surgery is going to change my life because that sounds kind of stupid and shallow but I kind of think it will in regards to how I feel about myself.
I still can't believe this is going to happen. I feel so extremely blessed.
There's no crying in plastic surgery! Right?
I paid for surgery in July at which time I weighed 180lbs. 4 months later....guess how much I weight? 180 lbs. That's pathetic. I mean, it really really is. I have been on a roller coaster of trying to lose some weight before surgery. I mean any weight...5 lbs...10lbs. How pathetic is it that there are people that can lose 100 lbs and I can't drop 10?
I've been this weight and this size since 10th grade. I weighed 180 when I got pregnant with both my kids. I weighed 205 when I had each of my kids and subsequently went back to 180. The lowest I have EVER been in my adult life was 157 when my first child was less than a year old which was around 2000. The other lowest weight i ever got down to was back in 2010....I got to about 167.....I was never at either or these weights for long though.
The last 4 months I start a new diet every Monday....let's see...first it was the "I'll eat exactly 1200 calories"...never works because I'm starving or there's that day when someone at work makes banana bread or something.
Then it's "i'll jus skip breakfast or i'll only eat salad at dinner".....the list is endless.....
Bottom line, I just feel like I'm a fat ass who can't control what food she puts in her mouth. The best of intentions with zero follow through means nothing. I guess the only comfort I have is that I have been the same weight for the past 15 years so i'm not worried about gaining weight after surgery and ruining my results.
I just look at myself and I'm sad. I have those overwhelming guilt for spending this money and feeling like "will it do any good"? I really want to wear a two piece and look decent enough that people don't stare. I dont want to be perfect. I dont even want people to look at me and think I look good. I just want them to think.."hey, that chick over there doesn't look terrible".
I see all you ladies before and after pics and I just CANNOT imagine that I will have results like that. I mean, I can truly say I have not looked at anyone's after pics and thought they didn't look amazing. Everyone's pictures are so awesome! Then I think, well if they look great then I will too. I try to find people who kind of look like me or have the same height and weight to try and gauge what I might look like.
Has anyone else felt like the surgery won't make that much of a difference or that you are too big or am I the only idiot thinking it?
Idk...the holidays are coming and those are not typically good times for me. I have my kids and my new husbands family but none of my own. He and i have been together close to 3 years. I don't speak to my mother or my step father and I didn't know my real father until I was 27. we email here and there but since he lives in Germany it's not like we can spend time together. I have been to his house 3 times in last 4 yrs that we have reconnected. Long story but basically im an immigrant. My Mother left him, met some american guy in the army while he was stationed in germany, moved us here and then told me my entire life that he never wanted anything to do with me...which of course was a lie...which is partly why i dont speak to her..among other reasons too lengthy to list here. So you see, I have had almost no contact with my family (aunts, uncles, cousins). I have been here since I was 9 yrs old. I try to talk to them on facebook but it's hard. Im just some person to them I guess. We are blood but have no connection. They all grew up together, went to each other's birthday parties, to each other's communion, to each other's weddings...they were there when each other's kids were born...and so on and so on.
Idk...I do feel lonely because none of them know. I dont have sisters or brothers or female cousins to talk to about it. I wish I had a mom to help support me through this. I have my mother in law but it's not quite the same. I have one close friend that lives 2 hours from here but that's it. I dont have a group of close girlfriends...
*long sigh*...well not sure how all that came from biting my lip but here it is...me and all my thoughts....
4 days post op
9 days post op
My boobs are looking nice & they only hurt in the morning. I get very stiff after not moving all night so when it's time to use my arms to get up it hurts but the pain isn't too bad. I think ill end up in a 36DDD. (I was a 36C before surgery).
I peaked at part of my tummy under my binder and it's so freggin flat! I do still have some stretch marks next to my BB but that's ok. I knew he wouldn't be able to get rid of all of them. But at this point I'm very happy with what I see so far.
My doc said he removed a piece of skin & fat 2 ft by 8 inches & I can tell. There were a few button up shirts I had that I could not button & now even after getting big boobies i can button several of them. I see a huge difference in my waist & hips.
He also removed 5 quarts during the lipo. That's 12lbs people! He stopped at 5 quarts because that's max you can do safely during one procedure.
Now for the bad news....
I still have my stupid drain in. I couldn't get it out Friday because my fluid out put Thursdsy was 45cc. Ill def get it out tomorrow though. My husband has been washing my hair in the kitchen sink & helping me sponge bathe. I still feel so dirty. I dream of the awesome shower I'm going to take tomorrow after I get my drain out.
95% of all my pain has been from the lipo! Even now, I'm fine but my legs are black & blue, extremely swollen & feel very tight. It makes standing up very painful but once I'm up & moving around then I'm okay. To give you an idea of how swollen I am....my legs are twice the size they were before surgery. Surgery day I weighed 180...2 days ago I weighed 195! Today 188....so I am seeing huge improvement in swelling. My binder is fitting losser every day. It will take a good month to see the results of the lipo.
I plan to post pics tomorrow after I get my drain out.
I hope you are all doing well & sorry for being MIA. I had a rough recovery so resting is really all I've wanted to do.
Post op day 10
I can't wait to go shopping for my very first two piece bathing suit!
2 weeks & 6 days post op
I can now fit into my pre surgery pants. They are snug in the lower belly but getting looser in the thigh area. My lower belly is so freggin swollen!
I'm wearing the compression garment from the doc all day & then I sleep in my spanx. The garment from the doc compresses so well that I can't sleep in it. I tried one night & I was so uncomfortable. I see a huge difference in how it fits. After surgery it was so tight on my thighs that it was painful but now it fits well while compressing thighs without pain. It def does a better job of compressing my tummy than the spanx do & as a plus it has a trap door so I wear my panties over it & therefore restroom breaks during the day are a breeze.
That's important since I drink tons of water. Even before surgery & docs orders I was a huge water drinker.
My boobs aren't as bruised anymore but they still look weird. Lol. I had to put band aids over my nipples because they were hyper sensitive. Even having them touch my bra was almost painful. They say that goes away in a couple months.
Other than aches and pains from lipo & some sore boo snow & then I feel great. I'm just patiently waiting for all the swelling to go away, which can take months...ugh...patience is not my strong suit!
I hope you are all doing well :)
My husband & I just love Dr Oneal. Not only is highly recommended in Shreveport but he has an amazing bedside manner. Everyone in Shreveport I've talked to about him says simply that "he's the one!" He's funny, nice & EVERYTIME I see him he is so happy. He's a very positive person & you can tell he loves his job! He has done a great job with me procedures & has been great during recovery.