32A/AA + 325hp; 5'8", 125ish lbs

Didn't think I'd have the motivation to sit down and type this out- cant imagine what I have to say that hasn't been said before, but here I am! 
Like so many of you, I held my breath through my pubescent years, just HOPING something more would happen. *fingers crossed, eyes closed, murmuring, "Maybe I'll take after grandma." (Grandma was curvy - my mom, not in the least) Naturally, I took after the 'flat' side of the family. It was never an issue with the men in my life, but it has always bothered me - not being able to wear bikini tops, certain necklines, etc. I saw my first plastic surgeon for a consult 10 years ago, but the timing wasn't right/wasn't quite ready. I thought I'd give my daughter (now 15) to develop too, because if she turned out as flat as I am, I didn't want her to feel left all alone in the itty bitty [RS bleep] committee! Fortunately, she's developed into a slim D! Yay, her! Ha ha! 
I should probably mention that I'm a VS 34A, but truly more of an AA. when I breast fed, I went up to a C, and it was beautiful! When I returned to work after having my daughter (I worked at MAC cosmetics), I transferred to a new store, and my coworkers marveled, "Oooh... you have PERFECT breasts! When told them that they weren't permanent they didn't believe me! After I quit nursing/boobs returned to natural size one of the girls said, "Remember when you said 'they' weren't permanent? You weren't kidding!" OUCH.
So here I am, just turned 40. Yes, 40... & I look pretty good so saying that doesn't really sting. :) I just think my mom's generation might have missed that "you can be hot after 40" memo. Nevertheless, time waits for no one, as some say, & I figure if I wait another decade I may waste a lot of opportunity to have some fun with my look. I've consulted with four surgeons in the past year and have finally chosen the right one! He's really encouraged me to go the high profile route (he describes the look as natural, youthful versus matronly, beautiful) although I think my measurements are borderline okay for mod plus too. (I can't remember precise measures, top of mind). I'm attaching two collages of me wearing sizes - one with 371 mod-plus (on the boob to your left- the one on the right is slightly smaller), and another with 350 cc on your left, 325 on the right. I'd like to be a C- the size I was when I breast fed- and 350 hp looks good to me (on some days - sometimes I think it's a bit big for my frams), but I know he's leaning toward 325 or even a bit smaller. He said he refuses to take me past what my body can handle beautifully for my lifetime. He doesn't want any issues w tissue atrophy because of large implantation, and he wants to work within the parameters of my natural breast. He's against "creating a new crease" and believes that in keeping with the natural breast, bottoming out won't happen. I've been worried that hp, because of the smaller base diameter, will cause more of a 'gap' between my breasts, so that's something I need to discuss with him at pre-op. I should also note that I was really firm on silicone, but after thinking it over and realizing that people typically DON'T replace implants prior to rupture or a complication, I should do some rethinking. (Meaning, expect a rupture someday & be pleasantly astounded if it never happens) Supposedly the new gels will remain contained in the capsule, but I've read that it's not necessarily the case. One doc on Real Self even admitted that he doesn't always get all of the silicone out of the pocket when he does a revision, but that it's not a problem. Hmm. Seems like that COULD be a problem, eventually. I'm definitely going under the muscle given my lack of natural breast tissue which makes me hesitant to go with saline, but I'm starting to think the tif they'll still look good and feel PRETTY good, it may be worth the peace of mind to choose saline. Again, need to discuss that @ the pre-op. hmm. What else? Oh, I'm 5'8" tall, 125 lbs, athletic build. Sorry the pics aren't that great & i don't feel like enhancing/editing them. I only took them to jog my own memory at the time, for comparison's sake. Anyway, if you have opinions on saline vs. silicone, or if you have any feedback, feel free. 
Sorry about the rambling. Just a lot of stuff stuck in my head and a small window for editing.

Ive so much to learn about this site. i just posted an update as a comment!
anyway, July 15th seems like ages away. Ugh. Did any of you start to feel weird about doing push-ups when working out? I keep wondering why I'm working to strengthening those muscles! I wonder if that slows dropping/fluffing? Also, getting nervous about the days right after surgery. Some people seem to have such a terrible time! My pain tolerance is high (my daughter was almost born in the hospital parking lot!), but I've never had surgery or been on pain meds. :/

One of the drawbacks to having *checking countdown app* 54 days & 8 hours till surgery is that you have a lot of time to think... & time to over think, if you're at all like me.
So today it's a 'cold feet/do I really want to do this?' kind of day. I've been looking at photos of girls on Tumblr who have pretty small boobies & they look super hot... so why don't I feel the same way when I look at myself? I also saw a tiny old lady in a car as I was leaving the bank today. She was easily in her late 80's with thin little baby bird feather hair... & I imagined future ME at that age, with implants. That was an odd visual.
I worry about going too large/too small. I worry about the pain of recovery. I imagine the implant sloshing around & never feeling like part of me... Nothing pleasant! I also imagine not waking up at all after surgery. (As I may have said, I've never had surgery.) I'm healthy & love life & so many people in it- how anticlimactic to go 'out' getting plastic surgery! *knock on SOOO much wood* I'm also really comfortable in my body and loooove sleeping on my tummy. Will I ever be comfortable on my tummy after?
Also when I breast fed (& was a large C), I quickly started taking my boobs for granted and wasn't even impressed at their impressiveness! *sigh*
My middle name should be Overthinker.
& thank you for listening!