23, No Kids, BA with Tummy Tuck and Lipo of Flanks - Seattle, WA

Two big things happened when I was younger. The...

Two big things happened when I was younger. The first was that I feel like I missed out on puberty and God just forgot to give me boobs. All the women on both sides of my family was gifted and I got skipped. The second was that I lost about 40 lbs when I was in high school, mostly just belly weight. I lost the weight way too fast and my body just didn't get to the way I had hoped it would. So, a few doctors visits later I realized that my body wasn't just going to ever adjust without cosmetic sugary help.
So here I am, 23 and finally at a point in my life where I can soon go through with both of these procedures. I am currently at the trail end of a deployment to Afghanistan, and shortly after my return I am going to schedule my procedure.

I am currently a 32C (so says victoria's secret... I was wearing 34As until right before I left for Afghanistan). I am really looking to just be more full and have cleavage, which is something I've never had. I'll be doing silicone implants, not sure if I want high profile or med-profile since I have a very active lifestyle. I am also extremely nervous about being out of commission for so long due to the TT. My work has already told me they are going to be supportive of my healing time since I am getting out of the military shortly afterwards anyways, but I still get nervous a lot. I worry that I'll be so nervous about not ripping a stitch that any lipo I get will just go to waste.

This side has been extremely helpful in keeping my spirits up and keeping my courage to get these procedures done that I have wanted for so long. Thank you ladies!

Today was Consult day!

So, I am finally home from Afghanistan and loving being home. I called to make my consult appointment the day I got back and got the soonest one I could. And that day was today! My work has remained to be really supportive and let me off for the morning so that I could go and not be in any sort of rush, which was really helpful.

So, a few awesome things came from my consult today.

1. I was super comfortable with my PS choice. I've read a lot about women going from one consult to the next trying to find someone that they have just the right feeling about, and I feel like I struck gold the first time. Yeah, I've had a consult before a few years ago which gave me a sort of starter-point for how all of this goes. But if anything, Dr Dehghan just showed me how much my first experience sucked from so long ago. He made sure to go over every detail with me and answer every single one of my questions. His right-hand-woman, Amber, was amazingly comforting too. I feel very comforted about my choice of PS.

2. After taking a look at my stomach, my PS said that I won't need any muscular tightening. It was SO GREAT to hear this. My worries about recovery have felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I am still taking off 4ish weeks from work but I can always return early, so hopefully now I won't actually need all the time off and save some of that for later. Plus, just the idea of not going through the more intense of a recovery that I read about a lot of women going through on this site from the muscle tightening is so great.

3. While looking at my stomach, I asked him about getting additional lipo to my abdomen and around my waist. He told me that there was going to be no need for any of it! I think sometimes I just can't help but see fat on me just because of the excess skin, but I kept on pointing out areas and he said really the only place he would even touch might be my lower back, but that he doesn't think I need it and to be aware that because there really isn't much there for him to get rid of, I may not even feel like I see results and to weigh the cost of getting the lipo with that in mind. I still wonder if I want to pay the additional 1k to just get rid of the little that's there since I set aside much more for lipo of my stomach and sides. But if anything his honestly about little problem-little results has me on the fence. I know lipo doesn't have much for a recovery, but saving that 1k could come in handy for my move later next year.

4. My surgery date was available! I'm set and scheduled for both surgery and pre-op, and the initial payment is paid! I'm officially sold on getting the silicone implants. My decision for the saline was there mostly because I wanted to have my incision done under the breast, and since I want such a large implant I didn't want a huge scar. But they explained to me that they have methods of keeping even the silicone incisions very small, and I couldn't get over how much better they felt. I've been on the fence between 650-700cc, but the more I think about it I want to do the 650. Since I'm so active I don't want to ensure needing to wear 3 sports bras when I run, but I don't want to deprive myself from feeling big and great. =)

Successfully day. I feel great about all of it, and I can't wait to get this ball rolling and update you all as I go!

1 week left, and pre-op complete!

Yesterday was my pre-op! I was able to take my best friend and roommate with me yesterday, since she is going to be the one staying with me and taking care of me directly since my man leaves on a business trip the day of my surgery (horrible timing, I know). I got my prescriptions, talked about some final questions, and got to decide on my final implant size. As of yesterday, I chose the 650s. Unfortunately, I lost sleep last night over my uncertainty of what I want. Over the last few weeks I have had an increasing fear of looking gross and overweight because my implants are too big. I know it really comes down to me just being happy with myself. But the fear is lingering.

I have also started to become re-nervous about all the down time I'm going to have and the seriousness of the recovery of having a tummy tuck. I did decide to go with having the lipo done, which kind of settles my mind on the crazy thought that "bigger boobs are going to make me look fat" idea.

There is just a lot of mind-racing. I'm hoping I calm down between now and my surgery, but I don't think that's the way it actually works, haha. I'll probably just get more nervous. Fortunately I have great support from my best friend, her daughter, and my man that I know I'll get through it alright. I do wish I could just sleep through the first week of recovery.... but then the idea of a blood clot fears me out! It's a never-ending cycle at this point. Fingers crossed I'll just feel better tomorrow!

Today was the day!

Got up early this morning. The second I woke up there was just no getting back to sleep because of the anticipation. And unfortunately I could eat it drink anything all morning so by the time I was dressed to leave, my stomach was soooo hungry. But the time went by fast once I got to the Clinic. Went in, sat with my best friend for a bit going over stuff with the nurses. She left, I got all marked up, brought to the surgery room, and the last thing I remembered in there was counting back from 100. I only got to 98. Haha.
When I woke up in the recovery room I was still pretty calm, and slightly out of it too. I remember that I asked the nurse twice about if my PS did any muscle repair. Which thankfully he didn't. Hopefully I can recover quicker because of that.
I must say though. My chest is tight. Suuuuper tight. And so is my stomach. Surprisingly my boobs more than my tummy. I have really tried to do anything Involving my stomach yet.
I'm completely immobile at this point. I can't use my arms to help get me out of bed to avoid using my stomach, so I'm already nervous about the first time I'm gonna need to pee at home. I thought about getting a walker before my surgery but with how much my chest is affecting my arms, I'm not sure it would really help. Luckily I live with my best friend who is taking awesome care of me.
I am pretty worried about my pain meds though. I have been in pain ever since I got home this afternoon. I might ask for something different tomorrow at my post op appointment. On that note....
That's when I get to see what I've actually got going on under these wraps!! I'll take some pictures while in there to put together some better before and after photos.
Crummy part was that I did end up needing a drain. They look so gross. I hope they can get taken out quick.

Overall, not a bad day. So far so good besides the pain. But dr dehghan was pretty clear on how if my meds aren't working to just let him know and he will put me in for something.

Thank you all for your support that led me up to this day! I don't really know if I would have had the courage to do this without all you beautiful women

So uncomfortable.

Is the morning after, and just a few hours away from my post op. Last night was terrible. All of the nightmares that read from other women on here came to life for me. My pain meds aren't going anything for me, causing me to wake up in nauseating pain and throwing up for a bit. Which, throwing up after a TT is even MORE painful than what it was to begin wth. It was all just so brutal. I couldn't sleep. I had to call my roommate from the room over to help me get to the bathroom, which was so exhausting and painful. And if anything more than tears werent painful, I would have cried my eyes out.
I'm excited to go back, get some new pain meds, and take the bandages off!! I've got a new belly button under these wrapping but I've still not seen it.
Fingers crosses that today will hold better things for me, and maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight. But keep a look out for my photos though! Hopefully I can get some good day 2 pictures to share with you guys.

2 days post precedure!

After going back yesterday for my 24 hr post op check up, my PS could clearly see that my current meds just weren't doing it for me. So he wrote me up some more medication, to include an anti-nausea so that I can actually keep the pain meds down. He took off my bandages to make sure everything was still holding well and I guess it all looked great? My flat stomach looks pretty cool, except that it ins't really flat at all from the swelling. But at least I don't have a nasty skin pouch hanging out on my stomach anymore. I am a little (a LOT) concerned about how far apart they are sitting from each other, and I already feel like one of them is trying to win the race of quickest to drop... just, not to the center though. I need cleavage!!

Today I was finally able to get myself up and down from the sofa chair all on my own. And I've got the reutine down pretty well so I know what movements not to make to cause myself any extra pain. I was even able to get to the door when the FedEx guy came by to drop off my espresso knock box. Lol
He was gone by the time I got to the door... but I still feel pretty accomplished by that.

I'm gonna try to post what my roommate took when my bandages were getting swapped yesterday. Today I am definitely more swollen, but it's supposed to start getting better tomorrow, so fingers crossed for that.

4 Days Post Op - Things are looking up!

So, today is day 4. I'm happy to say that I've made it this far without having an emotional breakdown of regret. I'm practicing all of the patience that I can muster, and even though my back is hurting, my stomach is swollen and I can't even begin to pretend to stand up straight. I've gotten over being emotional about my man being gone for work, and luckily that's lasted me long enough so that hopefully he comes home tomorrow and I don't have to endure that part at all. At first I was nervous about him not being here for when I first got back from my procedures and he would think I'm ugly or deformed (not that he is that typer of man at all), but even at day 4 I feel like I'm already settling into my new and beautiful body and I'm nothing but excited for him to get home so I can show him my new goods!

I'm already trying to slow down on my meds. It's going ok so far, I'm starting to feel tired much quicker than yesterday, but medication dependency is on my list of things I don't want to worry about and I would like to get to some more over the counter options as quickly as I can. I was able to make it to target today, (I needed to get out of the house). I got dropped off at the front, hunched over to a power cart and rode around for the quick trip, so it wasn't overly physically bearing, but it still took a lot out of me by the time I got home. I wanted to get a front-zip sports bra, something that I could easily take off and put on by myself. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find any of that type, I got a few cute and simple $18 dollar bras to make me feel a little prettier for when I'm just sitting around the house. The bra I was sent home with directly after my surgery was a front clasp. The first one they put on me I very vaguely remember (since I was just coming out of general anesthesia) that it was way too tight, so they swapped it for a bigger one. Now that my initial swelling has started to do down, the bra has been pretty much useless. It's not holding anything up, in, down, or even to my chest. It's just been there. Haha. I know I'm not supposed to wear a regular bra anytime soon so I thought something simple and cheap might be a decent investment since my boobs still have plenty of moving to go in the next few weeks. On that note, I can already tell that they are settling beautifully. When I first got home I though if I was to look down at my chest that my chin would run into my boobs, now they are sitting a little lower and maybe juuuust barely starting to move a little inward so I can picture that cleavage that I've been dreaming of my whole life just that much better.

As far as my incision goes, it's doing alright. I'm putting cream on it about twice daily and keeping it under this compression wrap. I haven't even attempted to take off any of the dressings that my PS put on the last time I saw him. I figured I would let him do that part of his job rather than get in trouble for doing it for him. I do still have a drain, which I am more than ready to get removed tomorrow morning at my second post op appointment. I am full with a lot of mixed emotions of getting restless from sitting around all day and then as soon as I start moving I have to sit back down because I'm not ready to do so much for myself. Hopefully tomorrow I can hear some great news about maybe trying to stand up more straight once this drain is out. Either way, I'm feeling pretty great about where I am at day 4. I really hope this isn't some sort of pre-emotional breakdown thats around the corner. I have a hard time believing that I could regret at all having these big and beautiful new boobs that I have!

6 days later

So, today is day 6. I have a lot on my mind. Yesterday was a struggle.

My man didn't make it home on his trip. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't make it back on time, but I was really hoping to have my second half home with me. It was just a tiny trigger of my emotions.

I got the rest of my original bandages taken off yesterday, as well as getting my drain taken out. I was happy to say goodbye to the drain, but I am pretty sad about my belly button. It doesn't look cute at all, it looks bundled and ugly. It makes me sad to look at it. It didn't really hit me until I got home. I go back to see my PS again on thursday and I'm going to say something to him about it, and I know I'm not a doctor but I'm not sure what could be done about it at this point.

Last night I really just hit my emotional wall. I kinda felt it boiling up all day, but I had gotten clearance to take a shower that morning from my PS and my roommate wanted me to wait until she got home so that she could be in earshot just in case something happened. By the time I got myself undressed and in the shower, I just was spent. Trying to shower on my own was just so exhausting, I felt like the cranky kid who played too hard at the park that day and was crying over putting his pajamas on backwards. I couldn't keep myself from crying the whole time I was in there, and what was worse was that since I was so sore the shower felt like an eternity. The PS that morning had told me to work on standing up straight more, and my shower made me feel like having a goal like that was just so far away. By the time I got out of the shower I was just in tears, luckily my roommate was there so help calm me down.

I'm ready to just take a time jump to week 2 or 3. Today is already off to an emotional start, and at this point I can't stop worrying about how I'm going to turn out.

12 Days Post Op

So it's been a while since I've posted an update. I'm sorry for anyone who has been reading or following along my journey, and I wish I would have updated sooner. So much has happened over the last few days, and I guess at the same time I feel like so little has.

My hubby finally came home from his work trip. It was so nice to be able to lean on my man rather than my roommate. She was a loving support and great caregiver but I don't think anyone can argue that it's just different with your spouse. I was literally in tears when he finally got home, which was just it's own emotional ball building up ever since day one. Overall, recovery has been better, (though different), since he has been home.

Since he has been home, I've gone from sleeping on the sofa chair in the living room to trying to sleep in our bed. That alone I feel has been the ongoing battle of my recovery. Walking straight has been a challenge on it's own, but when I try to sleep flat on my bed I feel the dragging of my progress haunting my thoughts. It's an amazing feeling, to have a tight stomach. Unlike some of the other women who have gone through a mommy makeover, it's not a familiar feeling at all of something that I had before having beautiful children or something like that. I've never been flat. I went from overweight to extra skin in the blink of an eye and it was like that ever since. And now the tension in my stomach almost frightens me, (though it isn't painful), to lay straight out of fear of it being too tight, and that I'm going to pull a stitch or open my scar. And when I cave and put a pillow under my legs to help ease that tension I feel like a failure at my own progress and I'm just slowing myself down on my own recovery. And now that my man is home when I get frustrated all I want to do is turn over and curl up with him, but even sleeping on my side is an impossibility.

As far as my TT incision goes... I remember going through Real Self stories before my procedure and reading about the swollen days, and trying to tell myself that if I could get power through the swinging curves that I can make it to the flat days and all will be well. Unfortunately, that's not really the way it works. Considering the compression garment that I have to wear almost every second of my day, I don't even think I would notice if I had a real day without being swollen. Every time I take it off to either wash it or change my bandages out, there is just a generic swollen-ness that I see, and at this point it's just getting depressing. I made a sad attempt to try and put on my skinny jeans the other day, thinking that maybe the lipo with the now missing skin pouch that sat on the front of my stomach and the post op swelling might balance each other out. Apparently, they don't. Jeans at an entirety are still far from my reality.

Over the weekend I really battled with trying to get myself off the prescriptions and onto just Motrin. Not that I really wanted to be off of narcotics. At first I liked the idea for the sake of not being reliant on something, but the first attempt at weening off really helped me realize that it's silly to not take pain killers if you are in pain. So, as far as advice goes, there it is. And that isn't necessarily from me to whoever has the next mommy makeover. I was waking up in the middle of the night trying to just shift myself in the slightest to get more comfortable or to ease the tension on my stomach and my husband would have to be the intelligence in my ear that if I hurt, to take the medication. And thank God I had that voice in my ear through that time. I am such a stubborn person that even through pain, if I tell myself I'm trying not to take them I would whimper in pain the whole night rather than let the thought of reaching for another percocet. Which, thought it might seem a little crazy, it's all rooted at my overall stubbornness of trying to get out of the damn house. Having my man home had been great because for a few days I was able to get out of the house for little spurts at a time without feeling overbearing on my roommate. But I knew the parade was going to be short lived once the weekend was over and he had to start going back to work. We generally don't go anywhere during the weeknights, and being stuck in the house from dusk till dawn was only being constrained by my taking prescription drugs. As soon as I was 24 hrs off, then I was free to drive myself as I so please. I think maybe at a different stubborn phase in my life I wouldn't have cared so much about such a rule, but there is also something to be said that if I am in enough physical pain to where I need to take the prescriptions, that I am probably not physically well enough to drive.

So, here I am, day 12, finally off of my prescriptions and able to take my freedom as I so please. I tackled some Costco this morning, (I know it sounds like a lot, but I made sure to go early so that I had close parking and didn't need to wear myself out maneuvering around a million people). I also had a lovely shopping cart to lean against when needed, and didn't need to get anything over a 10 lb bag of frozen chicken, so it was a pretty easy first trip out on my own.

The other day, though I didn't make any posts of my own I sought some comfort through others' posts on RS. I took advice on some non-surgical compression garments and made an order through kohls. A part of me is really hoping that maybe some spanx will get a flattering control over my surgical areas and maybe, juuuust maybe I can finally wear a pair of jeans. Even a looser pair would put a smile on my face. I'm pretty anxious for them to get here. I ordered 3, all different brands, praying that at least one of them will fit and be functional. A part of me has since been curious about just driving myself to a kohls now that I am able of my own transport but I don't think I would want to go about the efforts of a dressing room by myself. Hopefully I can teach myself some postal-patience.

Well, the majority of day 12 is almost done and I'm still crossing my fingers that maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and this stupid swelling will finally disappear. It would also be nice if my giant and beautiful new boobs will stop being sore, settle down to where they are supposed to be in 6 months and I can rock a bikini for the first time in my life. But I'm going to just keep on dreaming. =) Updated pictures to come!

What a mistake I feel I've made.

It has been a long time since I last made an update about my surgery. Some of life is to blame, (getting married, moving across the country, new job and full time school). Another reason is because I have been avoiding the update, because writing about it would cause me to reflect on my thoughts, and anytime I have done that I get very emotional. At this point, however, it doesn't seem fair for my previous reviews to exist and not give a possible viewpoint to someone who may have been like me, and possibly looked at my review in a false hope. So, here it goes.

It's been a year and a half since my surgery. From my previous information you can see the size of implants I choose, and possibly from my before pictures you could tell what my frame is, (small is the answer).

If I could do it all over again, I would have never gone with a size implant so big. When I signed all the paperwork and chose my implant size I knew that because my implants were going to be so large that they were "drop" faster than normal breasts/implants. I figured that probably instead of a 15-20 timespan on them I would probably need a lift closer to 10 years. I also knew that there was a risk of rippling, but I figured that since I was getting them placed under the muscle and that I was getting silicone vs. saline that whatever minimal ripples I thought I would see wouldn't bother me. However, about 6 months ago my views on my surgery started to change. Very slowly I noticed that my incision scars for my implants weren't sitting in the "crease" below my breasts, they were creeping upwards. I also more and more started to be annoyed by sleeping on my back, (which is really the only way someone can even try to sleep comfortably with implant this large), since when I lay flat my implants would shift sideways into my armpits. At first I figured I was just being paranoid- since I no longer live near my plastic surgeon, I wasn't able to get any post op appointments after 6 months, and I had no one to tell me that what was going on might be normal, nonetheless abnormal. One second I would be mentally freaking out that my implants had bottomed out, and the next I would be calming myself down saying "this is new, don't panic before you actually KNOW something." Shortly afterwards, the ripples started to show, and BOY do they show. They show so bad, no matter if I'm leaning in any direction or just standing up straight, I am literally back to not feeling comfortable enough to wear a bikini. Imagine that. $11k in attempt to heal some of my confidence, and a year and a half later I am wearing full-coverage surf tops in 110 degrees because my brand-new implants show like a cheap porn star if I don't.

Eventually, I went to see a local plastic surgeon to try and help ease any of my fears. I had hoped and prayed that my "situation" was just something that my mind was overreacting about, and that at this consult with a new surgeon he would say "Don't worry." Well, that didn't exactly happen. He did say "don't worry," but it was followed by "we can fix this," and that my implants were in fact "sliding" down my ribcage, and that essentially, the weight of my large implants have been separating the muscles below my implants from my frame, causing them to drop, which is also why the incision scars are now sitting higher on my breast than what they should, (a full 1 1/2 inches).

Flashing forward to now, I am once again saving up to have a breast augmentation, AND lift. Because of the damage done to my breast tissue thinning out, simply putting in smaller implants won't solve my problem. Even though I am married, I don't have the same income and ability to save as I did before, so I am not sure when I will be able to have my next procedure done. What I am sure of, however, is that I will not be going to a surgeon who doesn't even bring up what a breast-width-diameter is and how it should be kept in mind when choosing implant sizes. Yes, telling your patients that they can choose whatever size they desire might make them happy at first, but is horrible in overall practice. Of course, my original surgeon didn't technically do anything wrong, performed no sort of malpractice, and I'm sure in some way he truly just trying to make his patients happy. But here I am. 18 months post op and I feel more self-conscious than I did before.

As an ending note, I would like to add that I know that I made the choice for implants this large and take responsibility for the outcome. I read as many reviews as I could find on other women who went from as small as I was to as big as I got, and I tried to do my research. I honestly felt like I was making an informed decision. I cannot blame, and do not blame, Dr. Dehghan for the outcome of my procedure. But ultimately I signed the surgery paperwork acknowledging all of the "possible outcomes" for the procedure. And honestly, if anything, that's what makes it all that much worse: when I had little boobs, I tried to keep my head up because that is just what God had given me, whereas now, my self-esteem is my own fault.
Dr. Khash Dehghan

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