In September of 1994 Dr. Lawrence Shaw did my BA. ...
In September of 1994 Dr. Lawrence Shaw did my BA. I've never had a problem with my implants, they always looked and felt great! (About 300/325cc's under the muscle) That was 20 years and 50 lbs ago! A lot has changed. I think they still look great; they don't sag as much as you would expect for a 51 year old woman - but they are killing my neck and back.
I went back to Dr. Shaw and he will be draining my implants this Friday and then removing them and performing a reduction/lift on the 28th of August. I'm excited and nervous. I originally had my implants inserted through the armpit so I've never had scars to deal with so, as you all know, the scars from the reduction/lift are going to be a HUGE change in how I look.
I have no qualms about having the surgery done. I trust Dr. Shaw completely. He is an artist, not just a surgeon. I've referred several friends and family to him and have never had anyone disappointed in their outcome.
I am hoping that after surgery I will be a more "normal" C or D cup, even a DD would be welcomed at this point. I will post more pictures after my deflation, and again as I am healing from the surgery. Feel free to ask me any questions about Dr. Shaw or the procedure.
No Deflation After All
I went for my post op today and Dr. Shaw decided not to do the deflation ahead of time after all. He said that my imants are so small in relation to my breast that there was no benefit to deflation when my surgery is only 2 weeks away.
Glad to not have to go through the procedure, but wish I could have so I could provide other women with some first hand information and pictures.
Count down to "D" Day
My final two days before my surgery and things are feeling more scary. I'm pretty anxious about the whole deal all of the sudden. I know I want smaller breasts, but the thought of the surgery itself and the fact that my breasts are going to be totally different - the actually slicing and dicing of my flesh - yeah, that's weighing on my mind over the past few days. I'm easily agitated. I'm overwhelmed. I'm frustrated with my husbands comments - even if he thinks he's being funny. I get it. I know he's a boob man - the bigger and obnoxious the better. I understand he's trying to be supportive and understands this is a health decision - but he HATES HATES HATES the thought of my size going down and the thought of the scars... even though he has a massive scar from the front of his stomach circling around to his back on one side from a major surgery as a child - I'm supposed to be scar free - especially in the boob area. I'm not doing this to upset him - and I'm not doing it to make him happy - this is for me, for my health - I'm confident in my decision but it's still gnaws at me that he's so bothered by it. Thank goodness I haven't gotten breast cancer and got a mastectomy - good lord then he would have no "fun bags" to play with. Ugh.
This is probably not the best time to be posting an update because my mood isn't the best, but on the other hand I can't imagine that there aren't other women out there whose husbands or significant others have made them feel less than stellar about their decision to explant and/or get a reduction so maybe this kind of update is fine.
I know in my heart of hearts I will physically feel better when a) I don't feel like a freak show when I dress up and I don't feel like a slob when I dress to hide my breasts, b) can walk into any store and be able to find my size in a bra or a simple t-shirt and c) when my neck and shoulders don't ache every single day - well, they won't feel wonderful due to the arthritis but I know they are going to feel a heck of a lot better than they do now.
I also know if the smaller size (still going to be a D cup for crying out loud) and/or the scars are too much for him to handle he certainly knows where the door is. I won't live in misery and frustration because he has a boob fetish. At 51 years old I don't think being a "sex symbol" is on my freaking bucket list. Those days are long (no pun intended) gone! I just want to be normal and enjoy my life without my boobs being the center stage in every clothing decision I make.
Okay, cry-baby rant about my husband over :) The nervousness about going under anesthesia isn't going to go away until I wake up and it's all over - so no rant there! The anxiousness about a part of my body going through such a radical change - well, that's just something that I guess will fade the first time I walk into Victoria's Secret and get to buy a bra in my size and buying any bra any where that isn't beige or white or black! I know good things are coming. Simple things that others take for granted and I feel like a complete idiot for being upset about when we have so much hate, ugliness, terror and turmoil in the world, women are having mastectomies and just hoping their cancer doesn't kill them, people are struggling with real diseases and afflictions every day that are so much more important than me and my petty issues. My life is really pretty sweet. I have more than so many more people and I have to remember to put my petty frustrations in their place.
Good talk. Thanks guys! I feel better already! Head up! Chin up! Going forward.
Tomorrow's the Day
Wow! It's been a rough couple of days. This reminds me of how I couldn't wait to give birth to my first child and then as soon as my water broke I was freaked out and didn't feel ready at all.
I'm overwhelmed at the thought of the reduction/lift. I would be totally okay if they were just making a small incision and taking out my implants, but this is HUGE! What if I hate them? There is no going back. Once I'm scarred, I'm scarred. Totally freaking out right now - almost to the point of tears.
Awww, just got a call from one of my dearest friends wishing me luck. :-) funny how something so simple can ease your anxiety. I am off to bed now and will post an update as soon as I'm up to it.
Day 1 is behind me
So relieved to have this day behind me. It was rough. I am not thrilled with the surgical center I went to. They only allow you so much time in the recovery room before they start shoving you out the door. I was clearly not ready. I was going in and out of consciousness and felt so sick to my stomach. As they were wheeling me out to the car I started vomiting every where - had zero control of my bladder - urine gushing what felt like a gallon with every heave - so much so that it was puddling everywhere my thighs touched.
They ASKED my husband and I if we wanted to just go on and go home or be brought back in and cleaned up. REALLY???
That's the only time I remember but my husband told me he brought the car around twice that I had to be taken back in. Third time we finally made it. When we got home I could barely stand up to walk. Ended up throwing up once again at home.
Slept a lot today. I have drains in but very little is coming out. I'm able to move around a bit on my own and go to and from the bathroom from my couch. Staying on top of my anti-nausea and pain meds.
I didn't get a picture of my mark up - my dr is all business and once he did the mark up it was go, go, go. But I did take a picture of my wraps and drains. Not exciting or telling - but here you go!
1st Doctors appointment
Just saw my PS; he removed the wrap and put me in a bra - feels so good. I can't believe how much lighter I already feel! He ended up removing 600cc per breast - 375 of what was implants. So far not much bruising at all. Got one picture while I was there. I go back on Tuesday to have the drains taken out.
Thanks for all your kindness and support ladies.
3 days out
Hello all! Three days out and things are going well. My breasts are still swollen and tight feeling, but the are healing well. My bruising is really minimal and the pain is really not bad. I've finally started relaxing my shoulders and am already feeling like my shoulder tension headaches have improved. I know Dr. shaw did a great job. It's like waiting for Christmas to see how they are going to look completely healed and how much better I'm going to feel over all.
Old bra picture
Here's me in my old bra - amazing how much smaller I am - but still a nice size - and perky!!!
Got my drains out today. Everyone was surprised at how little drainage there has been. Got to take a quick picture of my left breast without the tape - I was amazed at how good it looks for it only being day 6! Seeing this makes me even more confident in Dr. Shaw. He truly is a master in his craft. This is a surgeon who takes pride in every procedure he does, even on us older chubby gals! Seriously, above and beyond my expectations - which were already pretty high.
How is this possible?
I am 13 days post op and I just had a check up/tape change and am AMAZED at my incisions. The lollipop is non-existant! Seriously? Dr. Shaw is just incredibly talented and skilled. I really appreciate his desire to make every woman feel beautiful - not just the young hot girls.