explant anxiety! - Scotland, UK

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I am 40 years old and have had cohesive gel...

I am 40 years old and have had cohesive gel silicone implants since 1999. I have always been self-conscious about my body and after many years of my boobs (or lack of) being the butt of everyone's jokes and the breakdown of a relationship, I decided to give myself a boost! I have loved having my implants and have had no problems until recently when my left breast became painful, mishapen and hard. It was making me feel dizzy and nauseous so I phoned my clinic for advice and they advised I was so post-op they would have to see me as they didn't have my records but they couldn't see me for 3 weeks. I decided to get some advice from my GP who suspected, just as I did, that I had a rupture. She arranged for me to have a scan which also confirmed that my left implant has ruptured and that silicone has leaked into my lymph nodes - removal was recommended. I have a holiday booked for early July so my surgeon suggested explant the week after I return. I have been terrified about how I am going to look after explant. My left implant has now settled down again and the demons have been at work as to whether I should go ahead with explant or just see how things go but this site has helped so much and I have decided to go ahead with explant after reading all of the encouraging stories posted by others in similar situations. Fingers crossed I stay strong! I will keep you posted of my journey.

Yikes! Just worked my last shift before I go on...

Yikes! Just worked my last shift before I go on holiday. Op not for another 2 1/2 weeks yet but my stomach is doing somersaults. Next time I'm back at work it will all be over. I am so nervous!

Just a wee update. Had my Pre-op this morning and...

Just a wee update. Had my Pre-op this morning and all went well. Have to be at hospital for 8am on Monday. Explant will be done under general anaesthetic but I should be home in the afternoon. The nurse didn't mention anything about needing a sports bra so not sure if I will be strapped up or what, will phone tomorrow and check. Still anxious as to what I will look like and how I will cope with small boobies after all this time. I'm counting on all you strong ladies to keep me strong and positive. Will keep you posted. Thanks again for your support.

Well that's me home from hospital, had my explant...

Well that's me home from hospital, had my explant today. I was a bag of nerves last night and didn't sleep a wink but was somewhat calmer today. I arrived at hosp in plenty of time and luckily I was first on the list. With paperwork completed I was taken to theatre at 9.15am. Once back on the ward I was aware that I wasn't strapped up and I had a peek at my new shape (something I'd told myself I wasn't going to do for fear of being upset) and what a pleasant surprise. Yes they are deflated and flat but fingers crossed this will improve. I'm surprised at how little pain I am in and how unrestricted movement is. I have no drains, yippee, but there is a puddle of blood in the left hand dressing which will remain until the stitches come out next week.

Unfortunately I didn't respond well to the anaesthetic and was as sick as a dog. I was all dizzy, shaky and the sweat was lashing off me and I kept nodding back off to sleep. I was given an anti-sickness injection but that didn't work so they tried another one which made me feel a bit better and after another sleep I was able to stand up without my legs giving way or vomiting so I was allowed home this evening.

I've had another snooze and something to eat and am currently sprawled on the sofa but I'm feeling so much better. I will take some photos tomorrow and post for you to see.

Many thanks once again for all your comments and encouragement. I have found this whole experience really difficult but speaking with others in similar situations has been a great therapy. X

Still feeling pretty nauseous today which I could...

Still feeling pretty nauseous today which I could do without! Still a bit sore but it's manageable, think I overdid it yesterday but been taking it easy today. I've posted a few after photos, these were taken a few hours after I got home from hospital, a couple with a crop top on and a few of my rather sad looking boobies, fingers crossed the fluff fairy visits soon! You will see what I mean about the blood bubble in my dressing, anyone had a similar experience? X

Some photos didn't upload, here are some more....

Some photos didn't upload, here are some more. Can't remember if I mentioned before but I've got a sloshing feeling in my left boob and it seems quite a bit bigger than the right side, no doubt due to excess fluid/blood. Anyone got any advice re this?

1 week post op update - I'm doing great but can't...

1 week post op update - I'm doing great but can't believe I'm still feeling nauseous. Had to go to the pharmacy today and get anti-sickness tablets so fingers crossed they work, apart from that though all is healing well. I'm slowly but surely getting used to my new look and actually like the softness and warmth of my boobies. My left side is still larger than the right and is still "sloshing" so I hope this settles down soon. I'm surprised to find that I have more discomfort now than earlier in the week, more of a skin sensitivity issue, my breasts and nipples are really tender but I'm putting this down to things "knitting together" inside. All in all I'm doing fine but need to learn to take it easy. Looking forward to my post-op on Thursday and hopefully get my stitches out.

Thanks again to everyone for their continued support. Happy healing. X

Had my post op today and got my dressings off. My...

Had my post op today and got my dressings off. My surgeon told me there was quite a large capsule on my left side which he took out. He told me there is still quite a bit of fluid in my boobies but that will settle down in time. I mentioned that I constantly feel sick and he said that was nothing to do with the anaesthetic, that would be out my system by now, so strange. I have to go and see my GP of it persists! It's only been there since the op! Has anyone else had similar symptoms? I will post new pics tomorrow hopefully.

Here are my latest pics taken 10 days post op. To...

Here are my latest pics taken 10 days post op. To be honest, there's not much difference in size from when I had the implants as they are still holding quite a bit of fluid but they are lovely and soft and warm My surgeon says they will get smaller over time as the fluid disappears but this suits me as it's not a drastic change. You will see that the left side is still quite a bit bigger but my surgeon said this is because he found a large capsule and had a lot more work to do there. They have not touched the silicone in my lymph glands. My boobies and scars are still very sensitive and tender but other than that all seems to be good.

On the downside, I am still feeling sick and have started to have dizzy spells. My surgeon has assured me that this is not linked to the anaesthetic so I will need to make an appointment with my GP next week to try and get to the bottom of that.

As I've said before, this site has been a God send to me and I hope my story and pictures can re-assure other ladies who find themselves in a similar situation to me. I am very happy with the outcome of my explant and wish everyone all the very best and a speedy recovery. X

Hi everyone. It's now 18 days post explant and...

Hi everyone. It's now 18 days post explant and thankfully I am now feeling fine, the nausea has finally gone and no more dizzy spells or blurry vision. My boobies are still pretty tender but they are settling down nicely, they are more or less the same size as each other now. I bought a couple more sports bras yesterday and was surprised that I needed a 34C as I feel a lot smaller now that some of the fluid has drained (still more to go!). I'm pretty much back to my normal self but just have to be careful not to over-stretch when getting something out of a high cupboard or bending down for something. I've found I'm putting weight on as I'm not as active as normal so I've started to do a few light sit-ups, nothing too strenuous and walk as much as I can. I'm going to fire the Wii Fit up when the kids are at school next week and see how that goes (concentrating on lower body just now). I've posted a few more pics in the hope that they help/encourage others (I found pictures really helpful). Wishing everyone all the very best. x

Hello ladies We're now just over 3 weeks post...

Hello ladies

We're now just over 3 weeks post explant. I think I've taken the idea of eating chocolate too literally as I'm disgusted to see that I'm starting to look like a "pear". Defo going to the gym on Monday!

Not sure if it's op related, the weather or what but I am absolutely shattered, so much so that I keep nodding off. I fell asleep on the sofa after dinner 2 nights ago and again this afternoon (unheard of for me). Hoping the gym will energise me.

On the boobie front, boy have they shrunk, am really praying they don't shrink anymore as I don't want to go back to hating my body again. On the upside, I wasn't planning on wasting money on "nice" underwear until I knew what my final size was but I came across a lovely bra and pants set, can you believe, for £2 in a sale today. I couldn't resist of course, it fits a treat and has cheered me up, just hope it fits for a wee while! X

Well guys, that's me just back from my first trip...

Well guys, that's me just back from my first trip to the gym, boy am I glad that's over! Talk about starting from scratch. I was a good girl and took it easy and concentrated on lower body but even then I was sweating buckets and didn't stay as long as I normally would. I did run a little on the treadmill to see how I felt but stopped as I didn't like the "jiggle" so will leave the running for a little while yet. Will stick to abs and lower body for now. I'm just glad I'm getting active again, been sitting on my backside for too long!

On the boobie front, they have got a lot smaller since my last photos. The scars are healing nicely and although they look great, they look so small in comparison to the rest of my body (or the rest of my body looks big in comparison to them!). I'm not quite used to seeing myself in the mirror and I think this will take some time. I got a bit paranoid in the gym this morning as there were some ladies with amazing bodies working out and there was me in a big baggy t-shirt and running pants - didn't have the nerve to wear my normal gear! Not to worry, I've taken the first step in (a) going back to the gym, and (b) going public with my new shape (even though it was under a baggy T!). Onwards and upwards. X

I've just had a look at my photos from start to...

I've just had a look at my photos from start to finish and you can see the ridge in the photos just after explant - weird!

Well I am gutted. I've had an allergic reaction...

Well I am gutted. I've had an allergic reaction today, the first one since explant. I started having anaphylactic reactions about 2 years ago and was kinda hoping they were linked with my implants and the leaking Silicone and that my reactions would calm down or stop after explant - wishful thinking! :(

Hello ladies. Well that's me 8 weeks post explant...

Hello ladies. Well that's me 8 weeks post explant today, doesn't time fly! I've posted a few more pics by way of an update. The crease and the ridge seem to be sorting themselves out, they're not as prominent anymore. I'm feeling great, life is back to normal. I'm hitting the gym 3 times a week and have started lifting weights, albeit small ones. I still miss my old silhouette at times but other than that I have adjusted pretty well thanks to gel bras!

Once again, I would like to thank all you lovely ladies for your support over the past few months, you have been my lifeline through a turbulant time. Wishing you all a speedy recovery and a lifetime of happiness. Hugs to all. x

This is a previous post that appeared in the wrong...

This is a previous post that appeared in the wrong place for some reason - confusing.com!

Hey ladies. I'm now 5 weeks post op and things are generally okay apart from my left boobie having a mind of its own. I've posted some pics that I took today and hopefully you'll be able to see what I'm talking about. My nipple looks creased and there seems to be a ridge under it. The right side seems to hang naturally but the left side sits higher on this ridge. Has anyone experienced this or have any idea what it could be?

Other than that, I seem to be back in the swing of things. I'm hitting the gym three times a week and using my Pro Ab in the house. I've been able to cut the grass and do the garden. I started painting the fence today (it's a big fence) and I did hurt myself bending over some bushes but a hot shower seems to have helped, I should get it finished tomorrow, weather permitting.

Wishing all you lovely ladies a speedy recovery. xxx

How time flies! It's hard to believe I am 15 weeks...

How time flies! It's hard to believe I am 15 weeks post op. I have posted some updated pics but I don't think there has been much change since. All in all I am happy with the outcome. I have put on a bit of weight since my explant but I'm putting that down to not being able to exercise as much over the past few months but I'm sorting that out with regular trips to the gym! My scars are settling down and I don't feel as self conscious as I thought I would.

I feel that all things happen for a reason - If I was given the option 15 weeks ago, I would have opted for replacement implants without a doubt but due to circumstances that option wasn't available and I was forced into explant and couldn't have been more terrified. Now I feel it's the best thing that could have happened. Funny how things turn out huh?

I hope my story has helped some of you with your decisions and the recovery process. Happy healing ladies! x

Hello ladies. It's now 7 months since my explant....

Hello ladies. It's now 7 months since my explant. As I have said previously, I wouldn't have chosen to explant but I believe certain things happen for a reason and I can honestly say that I'm happy with the outcome. My scars are fading well and I am wearing 34b bras which I am more than happy with.

For those of you facing explant I wish you all the very best, try to be patient and don't be too hard on yourself. I hope this site helps you as much as it has helped me.

For all of the old timers, we have come a long way together, thank you once again for your support and friendship, it means so much. Xxxxxx

Hey ladies. I've uploaded some recent pics. ...

Hey ladies. I've uploaded some recent pics. Don't think there is much of a change though. My scars still seem quite prominent but I think that's because my skin is so fair, well almost blue actually (I am Scottish lol). All in all I'm still over the moon with the end result. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hello ladies. I can't believe how time flies, I am...

Hello ladies. I can't believe how time flies, I am now 9 months post explant and life is good. I am back to my full pre-explant workouts with no problems (thank goodness as I have gained some weight lol). There are still days when I miss my old silhouette but I have adjusted to my new shape much easier than I ever thought possible, I don't even bother with my silicone Sally's unless I'm on a night out and need a bit more cleavage lol! I'm still a bit self conscious in a bathing suit but to be honest that's not just because of my boobs! Hope all you lovely ladies are recovering well, or if you're still looking into explant, I hope my story can help you decide. Hugs to all x

I can't believe it's been a year!!!

Thought I'd pop back to give you all an anniversary update! Life is great. I'm loving my little boobies and even bought myself a bikini to wear in garden during the unusual heat wave we're getting in Scotland (defo not complaining lol!). Funnily enough, nobody has noticed, or should I say dared comment on my little boobies. I think it's finally sunk in that nobody ever really cared about how I looked or the size of my boobs other than me. The comments people made meant nothing to them but obviously touched a very raw nerve with the younger, more insecure me! We live and learn. Anyway, onwards and upwards. This will be my last update as I can't see much more happening now so I would like to thank all of my Real Life friends for their support and wish them and all future explanters all the best. Big hugz xxxxx
Mr Newns

Referred through my GP.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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