It's All Finally in Motion...- Saskatoon, sk

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When I was a child, my brother and I were playing...

When I was a child, my brother and I were playing a game where we would run in opposite directions really fast towards the wall. The goal was to stop right before hitting the wall. I hit the wall though. Hard. My parents just hugged me and said to be careful. My nose grew strangely since then. I ended up with a very boney hump that is sharp and kinda painful. On top of that, I ended up with a crooked nose which has resulted in a deviated septum. I was never totally sure if I had actually broken my nose that night when I was a child, but today, it was confirmed that my nose had definitely been broken.

I had made an appointment with my GP in order to get referred to an ENT. My friend had actually warned me beforehand of an ENT he had recently been referred to (he and I have the same GP) and visited... And told me his experience was far from pleasant. He then sent me a link to a review site (not this one) where tons of people mentioned how horrible this ENT was. So I was so grateful to have been given this information beforehand because my GP was gonna refer me to the same guy! I asked if he could refer me to someone else. He had a bit of a half smile as though maybe he'd had other patients who needed a second referral after seeing this guy lol. Either way, he said no problem.

I got allittle letter in the mail a few days later saying my appointment had been scheduled for january 9th (today) and I was like, wow... That was quicker than I expected since I had seen my doc at the end of November, I believe. So now, I had the name (cuz I forgot the name after I left my doctor's office) now to look up on the rate website. It seemed as though there were a lot of negative reviews as well... But I was like, well.. Can't do anything about it now. So today was finally the day. I prepared myself for a cold, arrogant, grumpy old geezer. I had also written up an list of questions to ask so I wouldn't forget anything! To my surprise... My pleasant surprise... He was a very nice man! He seemed cheery and very educated... And he answered every single question and didn't seem like I was bothering him. He checked my nose to see how bad the septum was deviated, as well, he pointed out all the signs of a broken nose. I had em all :/, but this turned out to be a great thing!

I live in Canada. We all know Canada health care system. But I wasn't sure if they could do a septo-rhinoplasty covered completely with sask health. I prepared for him to say only the septoplasty would be covered, and the rhinoplasty could be done at a lower cost... Like how it is in the states (where I'm originally from)... But I hadn't even gotten to that question just yet. He was telling me what he would do to my nose. That he would align the septum, and then go in and shave the hump. I almost jumped out of my seat and hugged him! Especially when he said that since it was a result of trauma and was causing breathing problems, that it would be completely covered. I was like "you'll shave the hump???" he then said "oh, you don't want me to remove the hump?" I said "YES, I was HOPING you could!!!" Lol! But ya, he was awesome, and honest.. I asked him questions about the anesthetic he'd be using, and how I'm terrified of getting sick from it. He told me that general anesthesia has changed and become less nauseating. He even told me how that was achieved, and educated me quite a bit. Then we talked about anti-emetics and how I can't take gravel cuz it makes me feel very tense and I end up feeling worse. He told me there are a few different meds they can offer me. He did tell me something that made me anxious, but i'm glad he was honest. He said that I *will* throw up probably only once due to bloody dripping down into my throat and into my stomach. He said I won't really feel nauseated, but I'll throw up and feel better. I guess he's never heard of emetophobia, lol. But anyways, I'm nervous about it... Has anyone experienced this? Anyways, regardless, I decided to go ahead and put my name of the waiting list. That's Canada for ya, lol. But hey, it's free... Can't complain. The wait is 6 months, roughly, and he said they'll send me a letter a month ahead of time. I don't know many people who have gotten their noses worked on... Except my one friend who actually was operated on by this same doctor (same friend who warned me of the other doctor).... But he was a young teen, and he also has crohn's disease. He had sinus surgery ad apparently had rare complications. When he had told me this (once I knew who my ENT was), I was like, oh great! But he assured me it wasn't the doc's fault. So, ya... I'm so nervous though! I would like to hear some experiences about right after surgery... Cuz I know most people don't write about it, and I don't know if it's because they don't think it's relevant, or cuz it just didn't happen to them. But it's driving me crazy,

I feel like I should stop watching video diaries...

I feel like I should stop watching video diaries of people who had the surgery... It's making me more and more nervous :/

5.5 days to go

May 19th, I got my letter in the mail from my ENT's office. I saw where it was from and literally ran up the stairs back to my apartment... my heart was pounding because I knew what was inside the envelope... I ripped that sucker open and there it was. My surgery date/time/instructions. June 18th at 7:45am. Today was my pre op appointment. The time feels like it's speeding super fast... I can only hope that once I'm recovering, the week doesn't go slowly. That would suck! Lol. I've been having nightmares though. The other night, I dreamt I woke up with the tube down my throat and was talking to them... they kept up with doing the surgery even while I was awake yet could feel nothing. Then the doctor in my dream said he had to pull the tube out.... WHILE I WAS AWAKE!!! I remember gagging and it was awful. Then just a couple of nights ago, I dreamt I woke up but my eyes were still closed.... but I could hear everything... I couldn't move or anything to let them know I was awake.. did anyone else have these kind of dreams before their surgery? It's freaking me out!!! But anyways, I'm pretty much prepared for the recovery. Just a few more things I gotta pick up today. Wish me luck. I might post the night before.

All done!

My surgery was a complete success! My doctor managed to do the surgery closed and no breaking of anything. I have almost no bruising at all. And I didn't bleed hardly at all, apparently! I asked if that's why I never woke up vomiting blood lol. He said that was correct and he was a bit surprised hehe. I haven't had the need to take anything more than just otc junior strength tylenol. My surgery took half an hour and recovery was about 2 hours. The first bit was just getting me to wake up, and the rest was just observation. The nurses said I was coming out of the anesthesia extremely well. I did wake up with a tube down my throat, but I guess that's the way they do it there? They take it out once your surgery is done and once you've woken up... It's weird. But I felt nothing, and didn't gag at all. All my nurses were so sweet, and the anesthesiologist read the letter I wrote to him addressing all my concerns. He was so nice and accommodating. My experience has been a great one despite the fact that it's day 3, and I feel like garbage.... However, to be honest, it just feels like I'm sick with a horrible cold/flu. The nurse said I can eat whatever I want. Doesn't have to be soft. I've had a good appetite so far which is good. I also don't have a split over my nose, and he used dissolvable packing... Which is both a blessing and a curse because it means no pulling out a gross tampon out of my nose, but at the same time, it's in there longer. Ick. I say to anyone thinking about doing this... Do it! It's not as scary as I made it out to be! Because there's no splint, just tape, I can see my nose... And I love it so far!

A week ago....

It's hard to believe a week ago today, right now, I was sitting on a hospital bed waiting for my surgery. I was full of so much hope and excitement despite my nerves and anxiety. I kept reminding myself it'll all be worth it in the end. So.... Why doesn't it feel worth it? I phoned my doctor's office yesterday cuz the tape on my nose was slipping off since it tends to get greasy under there and the swelling was cause the tape to sag across my nose. So she said I could take it off. I did... And when the tape came off.... My nose looked exactly the same, except from the front view, it wasn't crooked.... I should be happy about that, right? Well, no... When you are told the bump is getting shaved down, you expect that yes, you'll be swollen... But at least it will be swollen in the shape and direct of which it'll heal and you can picture that once the swelling goes down, it'll look better. But from the side, my nose looks the same. Maybe just a sized down version my a tiny bit, and smooth as in not boney.. Does that make sense? I donno, I guess let the pics speak for themselves. But I've been extremely emotional for the past few days. Saturday was when I noticed through the tape that my nose looked the same from the side. My fiance noticed it, too. He's been really sweet, and he's been trying to comfort me, but nothing helps. I'm so miserable, and when you go through surgery to make changes, it's downright depressing when you come out looking basically the same. My doctor didn't see my nose, but I talked to the receptionist who talked to him about my concerns, and he told her it'll be about 3 weeks for the bump to go down, and that he shaved it down.. Why can't I believe that? I guess when I see him next week, he'll be able to tell me if this was what he was aiming for... But anyways, I've basically been obsessing about my nose now... It's pretty sad how obsessed I am. I feel like I just need to avoid mirrors for a while. Ugghhh

Before and after pics

Here's a collage I put together of the before and after pics for comparison

Saw my doctor today...

I was able to get in to see my doctor and he explained that he had actually shaved down the bump all the way and even made a slight dip in my nose. He then pressed down on the bump and asked if that made my nose sore, to which I said it did... He then said "cuz it's still swollen" with a slight smirk ;) he said just give it time and eventually it should work itself out. He mentioned scar tissue which all seemed confusing but I'm just gonna try to trust him... Hard as that may be considering there's still a bump there.

3 weeks post op!!!

So it's been exactly 3 weeks... and it's really so hard to believe still. Hard to believe I let myself be 100% vulnerable... but I made it out alive which I knew I would... it's just that when you suffer from severe anxiety, being out of control just seems so far fetched.

Regarding the bump I was upset about at 1 week, it's definitely gone down a bit. I haven't taken any 3 week post op pics, but even just my two week post op pics look much different than the 1 week pics!!! My confidence level is so much higher! I even got my hair done, and my hair dresser was a dude, and he called me beautiful! And he was gay lol. I always feel that gay dudes are extremely honest. If they dont like something, they will TELL you, and if they compliment you... well you better believe it!!!! Lol but seriously it was probably the first time I ever believed that I was beautiful which wae nice :) here are the 2 week post op pics and when I take some 3 week

Very happy!

Last month, I had my follow up appointment, and he said my nose looks great but that he's pretty dang sure it will still go down even more. When I asked him how he could tell, he very hilariously said "oh, because I've done a few thousand of these" I couldn't help but laugh and feel like a dork for asking such a silly question, but I couldn't help it, I was curious! He said while I'm obviously breathing better now, I also need to be cautious since my pathway in my sinuses are all clear for anything to make me feel grodie up in there. I do still get mucousy, but it's not that bad or often, and I feel better in the mornings and in extreme heat, that's for sure. Before, I was struggling to breathe! Anyways, here's the most recent pics of my nose. I have no problems getting pics taken from all angles now! It's a wonderful feeling!

Lol perfect. P.S sorry about the crazy amounts of pics.. I've just become a LOT more confident as you can see, and I also wanted to show off that from the front and side it's looking amazing!

A bit over a year...

It's been a bit over a year. My nose has pretty much remained the same since the halfway mark. As far as my ability to breathe, it's a blessing and a curse. Now, all kinds of gross air gets breathed in, and it sucks.. But that's what happens I guess lol. It just means my allergies are worse, but at least I can breathe. I still hack up mucus a LOT which is probably my least favourite thing.

I feel so much more confident though! I don't mind wearing my hair up anymore... I just feel good about myself which is amazing! I started modeling which is tons of fun! I was even published in a magazine once as a model, and another time as MUA!

My nose isn't perfect, but that's okay! It makes it look so much more natural. It's still so much better than it was before and that's a dream come true :D
Dr. Gore-Hickman

In saskatoon Saskatchewan, not saskatoon, Ontario lol. He's awesome. He can be a bit cocky and sarcastic... But if you have a good sense of humour and just sit back and trust him, he's great!

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