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I'm 37 years old, mother of a 7 year old and a 4...

I'm 37 years old, mother of a 7 year old and a 4 year old and I breastfed them both until past the age of 3. I am 5'8", 185 pounds and a size 38H.
I HATE my breasts. So much that I avoid looking at myself in a mirror unless I'm fully clothed. When I go to try on bras I make sure the dressing room has only one mirror and I turn my back to it until I have a bra on. To me, they're grotesque, which is an awful way to describe one of your body parts!
I've wanted a breast reduction since I was a teen. I quickly went to a D cup what seemed like overnight. Then a DD, which I wore for years as I was in denial about my size. Then I found a DDD and tried one on- fit sooo much better! I got fitted once and when the woman told me I measured as a 38E I almost punched her in the face and left the store and never went back. Throughout the years whenever I would find one of those ridiculously hard to find sizes I would give them a try, and after working through my denial realized I am indeed a 38G. Up until last year. I went to buy a new bra and as I was digging through the bra sizes (why do they have to put the large sizes on the very bottom anyway??) I spotted a 38H and decided to give it a go. And wouldn't ya know? Fit me like a glove. And also made me cry. H. As in Holy Hell How did these things get that Huge??
A few months ago I saw my doctor and mentioned to her that I was interested in a breast reduction. A woman I've done water aerobics with had one years ago and said that if I wanted one too then I should mention it to my doctor now so they can document it, along with any physical pain I've been experiencing. She didn't even ask if I had any pain (which I do)- she just took one look at my knockers, told me I was a perfect candidate and got me the referral to see the plastic surgeon just two days later.
I was extremely nervous and had no idea what to expect but right away Dr. Lin was warm, kind and compassionate. He took his time answering all my questions and did a breast exam with a female nurse present in the room (also very nice and helped ease my nerves). He said my breasts sit close together (hmmm never really noticed that) and that sometimes he does lipo around the sides but it appeared I wouldn't need to do that. He did tell me I was 3 pounds over the recommended BMI and talked to me about weight loss, if my breast size changes with weight gain or loss (not really). I told him I would love to lose 20 pounds but ideally I would be happy losing 10. He recommended I try to lose a little weight and recommended a healthy goal of a pound a week. The more weight I lose, the better the results and recovery.
A month later I emailed his office (on my birthday as a present to myself!) and shared with him I had lost 8 pounds and was ready to talk more. I had an appointment the next week where they took pictures and discussed size. He said with my frame he would take me to a D, which seems so tiny to me! A couple girlfriends have discouraged me saying that would look weird, I should be at least a DD and I am nervous about being too small. I shared that with him and asked if I could be a D+ or DD- (if there is such a thing). He explained they don't have bras to measure cup size in the operating room but he would do his best to make me happy. Now I have a surgery date set for August 11th! GULP.
After viewing several pictures on here, I think a D looks beautiful and a DD might be too big, and my husband agrees. He says why go through the pain of surgery to still have big boobs? So I will talk it over with Dr. Lin so we are on the same page and I won't bother telling my negative Nancy girlfriends that I'm not taking their advice. They'll never know!!
I've been using MyFitnessPal app on my phone to help track calories and it's been incredibly helpful. I am going to continue to aim for a one pound a week weight loss goal up until my surgery.
I am nervous, excited and suddenly obsessed with all things that have to do with boobies!! This website has been exactly what I've been looking for!!

Scary concerns

Most every BR review I have read on here has been a positive one, with the exception of two I read last night and another one today. Seeing the f-ups and hearing of women in more pain gives me the heebie jeebies and doubts creep in about my own outcome.

I know these are rare cases but I can't help but to worry. Am I going with the right surgeon? Only one review on this site of his work and it was a positive one, thank goodness. I have Kaiser and only two PS to choose from in our area. It was either one with 18 years experience or a new surgeon. I went with the one with the most experience and the nurse said they both do excellent work but she mentioned one having specialized training for over 12 years and it sounded like she may have been talking about the other surgeon. Hmm...how does one decide? I REALLY liked my surgeon right off the bat- compassionate, thoughtful, thorough and kind. Had a great portfolio (but then again, one wouldn't put crappy pics in their portfolio).

Tonight I'm second guessing my surgeon. Hope I've been paired with the right one for the job! Talk about taking a leap of faith.

Fondling Bras

Am I the only one who finds themselves fondling all the smaller cup bras in stores? I'm pretty sure I'm going to find myself escorted out one of these days!!

Provider Review

Dr. Eric Lin