I am 38 and have been going thru perimenopause the past two years but up until recently it only affected my menstrual cycles and caused night sweats, basically nothing life changing. I started a new relationship about a year and a half ago. In the first few months we were having a ton of sex and I started to notice that I wasn't bouncing back like I have in the past, but rather felt like I was getting looser. My new boyfriend was much larger than my former partner so at first I figured it was just my body adjusting to his until it just felt super stretched out. I started Kegeling my butt off but my vagina was still lacking the strength and elasticity it had always had. At this time I was also having issues with feeling the need to urinate more frequently which was annoying but not earth shattering.
Fast forward a few more months and my partner could not maintain his erection during sex anymore. I felt like my vagina went from a 'normal' size to an open cavernous version of its former self. After many failed attempts at having sex he started to withdraw and avoid sex. Once he finally opened up and talked to me about it he told me that he couldn't feel enough to stay stimulated. I was crushed. I had always had a tight vagina, haven't had any children and this happened all the same. This really affected our sex life and it took a nose dive to where I felt like he was having sex every few weeks to appease me but not because he really wanted it. This f'ing really messed with my self-esteem.
I started buying balls to strengthen vaginal muscles and they didn't work. Then I found Thermiva and thought that would be what I needed but it didn't do much at all. That's when I decided that I was going to start researching doctors for Vaginoplasty. I narrowed it down to my doctor and one in Colorado, and made my decision after having a consultation. When I met Dr Ghozland I felt heard. We talked about how hormones during perimenopause/menopause affect the vagina amongst other parts of the body.
During this whole process in my relationship we went from a fun sex life, to a disappointing sex life. When I discussed Thermiva my partner perked up and wanted to have sex again until we did a few times and he realized it hadn't made a difference. This was over an entire year where he just completely stopped wanting to have any type of sexual relationship with me and instead avoided it at all costs- no oral, mutual masterbation, nothing other than about once a month we would have sex at my urging that felt like a complete pity f@$k... until I just stopped putting myself through that and succumbed to a sexless relationship. Any conversation I broached about the subject was dismissed with excuse after excuse. I decided to include this aspect of my life in my review because when reading the 100's of Vaginoplasty reviews I read a few where women were willing to go through this (sometimes) painful and expensive surgery to make their man happy. If anything this situation showed me his true character in a way I may have otherwise waited years and years to see. I understand wanting a happy and healthy sex life but ladies make sure you're doing this for you at the end of the day because it is your body.
At this point I made up my mind that I was going to have this surgery to get my body back for me. It took me from my consultation in July until September before putting down a deposit and setting a date for surgery. I was coming from Chicago and staying for a week while healing so it took help on the doctors office end to get everything set over the phone and they were great about helping and answering any questions I had.
Okay so my day of surgery was Oct 14th, which was two days ago. The morning of I arrived and the girls at the front desk checked me in, gave me paperwork with aftercare and also the Apex Kegel stimulator I purchased. Then I was taken to the private surgery suite by the doctors super sweet assistant, who's name I can not recall. She explained what each medication was and exactly how I use them. In typical California fashion it was clean and pretty with a balcony letting in a nice breeze. Dr a Ghozland came in and we talked once again about what the goal was. He's sweet and easy to talk to. I showed him some tissue that was at my vaginal opening that had recently appeared and had been bothering me. He said he could easily remove that while doing the procedure. Then he marked the areas and started the first round of numbing shots. Oy!!!!!, those first ones are SO painful!!! After a few rounds of shots with brief waiting times in between it was time to start. They covered me with a warm blanket and I relaxed during the surgery. He started doing something with the laser and there is a lasery smell in the air. You can feel pressure but it's not painful at all. At one point I could tell I was cut open and being held from opposite sides which gave a few dips in my stomach so I decided to focus on the outcome instead. The shots are absolutely the worst part and for what we were doing that's not that bad really. I could feel more pressure on my butt than anywhere else. All in all the process went by pretty fast, in maybe an hour to hour and a half. It was apparent that Dr G is extremely experienced because he worked quickly and methodically while talking to let me know how it was going. At that moment I really felt like I was in good hands and had made the right decision going with this doctor. At the end he said that everything had went really well. After that I rested while they wanted to check that any bleeding had subsided. They prepared a bag of wipes, and other helpful things for the days following surgery. Once cleared to go I was able to walk downstairs and got into the car and laid down for the ride home.
Day 1- Once home I slept for most of the day. When the numbness wore off I could feel discomfort but nothing like I expected. I continuously kept putting gel ice packs between my granny panties and my yoga pants which helped a ton. I also noticed right after surgery that my need to urinate sensation has let up considerably which I didn't expect right away.
Since I don't take narcotic pain medication I was nervous about healing only with Ibprofen 800 but I was feeling okay. So at this point I was thinking the bad pain would happen the next day....
Day 2- Nope the pain didn't come. I haven't even bruised, am not swollen and feel fine. I can't sit but as long as I lay down I'm great. I was watching Southpark and laughed super hard, which made me feel like I may bust a stitch. Besides that I am very surprised at the lack of pain. I've had surgery before so I had mentally prepared myself for severe pain, but I'm really feeling very good. I would t want to go shopping or anything like that but it basically just feels like a lazy Sunday rather than a healing after surgery one.
Today I was brave enough to look in the mirror and OMG my vagina looks so young and pretty again. I remember this vagina from 20 something years ago :) My outer labia are full and no longer drooping. This gives me great hope that the inside is equally good.
Day 3- Today. Up until today I hadn't had a bowel movement. When I felt it coming I started to panic. Okay so this is when it's gonna start hurting, right?! Well after reading other reviews one woman said to relax and not force it, which is exactly what I did. And it was fine.
Because I obsessively read every single Vaginoplasty review online I prepared by doing the following:
- started taking Arnica a week before surgery until now
- started eating only soft foods 3 days before surgery until now.
- started stool softness 3 days before surgery until now
- drank a lot of water the week leading up to surgery
- hoped that these things would actually help, Lol
I will continue to update on my progress.