30 years old 5'2 (and a 1/2 tyvm) 3 natural births; lost couple hundred pounds.

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*Treatment results may vary

I carried my sisters twins. I carried my own son....

I carried my sisters twins. I carried my own son. I was blessed. I was wearing a 34B in 5th grade. Needless to say they grew. By the time I was at my heaviest I was 302 pounds and a 40 DD. Now I'm 130 AND A 32 super deflated B. I saw several surgeons and none of them seemed to understand like I do not care to look natural. Seriously. Judge if you just but I've had huge boobs my whole life. People would think they were fake. Not to mention like this skin on my belly. Not feeling too great about myself.
Moving forward decided to meet with Dr. U. She and her staff were awesome. My fiancé was very uncomfortable with this idea and now he's the one reassuring me. Dr. U doesn't push for extra treatments; I was interested in having a tummy tuck for the skin but my fiancé and I maybe might decide on another baby in the future. So it was her wonderful staff and herself who suggested I put the brakes on that. So as of now; my only complaint? I gotta quit smoking ???????????????? I quit both times I was pregnant and while breastfeeding and I have a smoke free environment for my son; but holy crap I have a feeling the no working out and no smoking will be the hardest part.
I have 100% confidence in Dr. U! I can not wait!

Counting down! Holy crap!

So I go in the 13th for my bloodwork. And the 20th is my big day. I feel like I'm forever away but I had to quit smoking or I would have been done and over this.
My biggest problem is the size. I'm 5'2. I look at some women and think wow... 500 CC's aren't what I thought they were. Then I see some women with 400 and they're perfect. Maybe it's a size issue. I just don't want to go through all of this; and come out disappointed or have smaller boobs than I did when I was heavier or breastfeeding.
At first my fiancé was all about like "not too big" blah blah but after explaining it all now he's starting to understand this I don't want the whole Pam Anderson thing... I just don't want to be smaller than what I was before! Ugh. Anyway ... So here's some wish boobs. Totally starting to freak out now though. I hate being faceless but I have so many tattoos. My fiancé is so paranoid about one of his brothers coming across naked pics of my body (he's in a large MC) and I can understand that. I guess. So this is my wish boobs. And me with clothes. Haha.


I'm on IG if any of you are on Instagram and do updates on there! I love reading everyone's stories and seeing everyone's gorgeous boobies! Plus ... The only person that supports me in this is my fiancé. Everyone else tells me I'm crazy; wrong etc. its getting old quick.


Happy healing my gorgeous ladies! ????????

Holy crap and countdowning!

Had my bloodwork done yesterday, go in the 13th to see doc and the 20th is Dday. I'm most definitely thinking about asking for 600cc vs 500.

Oh holy crap ... Breathe.

Okay yesterday was my final consult. I've gotta say again my fiancé and I love love love my PS Dr. U! She's amazing. I love her smile! She knows (as he's made it perfectly clear) he doesn't want me to have "porn star stripper boobs" and I'm over there like "nooo! Don't listen to him! Let's top me out!" So we re-measured me and the whole time honey is in the corner like head in hands. It was pretty funny. So I get to go up! Woop! 573 CC's under the muscle and she showed me (ow) what my tits would look like with just the lift via pinching twisting etc (again ow lol) ... Once my nipples were pointed to the sky and my boobs were up she said "... Then we add these" ::hand full of 500+ CC's of silicone::
Yep. I got hearts in my eyes. I love my doctor. No judgement and very down to earth she's worth every single penny. And God damn if this picture didn't make me feel better!! So I'm totally pumped freaking out ... Excited etc etc. I have a whole check off list of crap to do...
1.) buy a multivitamen (my gf suggested prenatals but I distinctly remember getting fat on those haha) so suggestions please my lovely ladies!
2.) some kinda soap
3.) front closing sports bras in lyrca not cotton. I was unsure about what size to get so the awesome woman that is my PS had me try on a Nikes sports bra; sized me and decided as that was a medium and fit perfect shed want me to get a ex-large in that brand (HOLY CRAP EXTRA LARGE?!? *hearts in eyes*).
... Then because she's awesome she let me stuff the sizers in the hop around a bit for shits and giggles. I'm telling you guys my PS is literally the best.
4.) oh my prescriptions.
5.) also we learned yesterday we won't be having sex for 6 weeks. I about passed out. I know the nurses and my PS get a kick out of us whenever we come in. Neither of us have filters and were constantly on the borderline between hilarious and oh my god did he/she actually say that outloud?!! We're fun.

And he's like a kid in a candy store all "boobs" ... I swear I caught him staring into outer space yesterday with literally hearts in his eyes **hearts in eyes emoji** and I asked him wtf he was doing...? "He's like remember when we met?"-- (mind you I was 14 going on 25 -- no he didn't know) . (We
Actually have a real love story... better than the Notebook-- I haven't seen that yet though it's just something I've heard him say; I'll have something to tell you guys during the healing processes of boredom) ... And I'm like "yeaaaaah ...what of it Koroknay?" (I call him by last name when it calls for it) he's like "God your rack was amazing." I nailed him in the head with an implant. Thanks jerk face-- as 3 breastfed children and hundreds of gained and lost pounds later my rack is far from. I'll post befores immediately before posting afters. Screw the whole you can see my tattoos thing.
Anywho... So Monday is the big day. All I have to do is show up!
We're getting a hotel by the surgery center since the surgery is for 7 am Monday-- and in the avenues in SF and we live in Vallejo. So Sunday night and day of surgery and evening of surgery I'll be at the hotel and not home where my mastiff puppy can jump her 130 pounds across my body when she flips out sees me.

I don't know that I can answer any questions or help anyone at this point but ill do whatever I can! Happy healing babies!

Taking two seconds to have a panic attack no biggie.

Okay let's see ... Soap check. Vitamins thanks to my awesome RS sisters... Check. Prescriptions ... Check.
Sports bras. No. Freaking. Check.

Seriously Monday is D-day. I went into target last night -- found absolutely nothing front closing. I can not go into walmart as I had a small disagreement with Paul Blart Walmart security cop for being a perv -- and now I'm banned from walmart. So I either have to hope walmart in Napa has this elusive sports bra or... Yeah well I don't know. I can not believe this is my biggest struggle. The sports bra. Unbelievable. Anyway ... Thought I would take second to post these. The things I DO NOT WANT ... Only because I'm freaking out because that's what I do. I freak out. The following I do not want ...

...Just got THE CALL!

Okay... so I just got my confirmation call! Monday morning at 7:00 I'll be checking into the surgery center! Im pretty sure everyone has the same concerns that whole nervous excited thing... like with Mr. Hottie McHotterson from Armageddon... like 30% scared 70% excited... okay bad example he ended up dying. Cant have that. I'm really worried about this whole "consider yourself down for six weeks" thing. I'm never going to be ready to be down six weeks... oh my god the weight gain that's coming. I literally haven't had time for the gym... I won't be able to go. Thankfully my fiancé and his mother are supportive of my decision vs. my own mother who is like completely against it. Gotta love when someone makes you feel like crap for doing something for yourself.

When I carried my sisters babies we had a deal. We both knew with my size those boys were going to WRECK my body. She promised (as i did it completely FOC for her... covered all under my own medical etc) once I was able she would pay for the mommy makeover I was going to be in desperate need of after carrying two healthy sized twin boys in my body for 9 months... she totally flaked. I haven't even seen the boys since they were off of my breast milk. My sister totally used me. So I THINK I totally deserve this. Mom however... doesn't agree so its emotionally frustrating too. Ugh. Anyway... I'm pretty sure this will be my last post until after the surgery. Happy healing to all of you who are getting done between now and then xoxo

Okay I finally have the balls to do this...

Okay a few things. This has become my pseudo BA diary. I think that's what's supposed to happen right? Right?!? I've "met" some amazing women through this site! I'm so bad at names but you know who you are.

Okay 1.) finding the front closing Lycra sports bras was such a pain! I live in Vallejo -- I had to come all the way to Sports Authority in Fairfield (note surgery 570 cc silicone with lift is tomorrow 715 am) to get them! I called VS -- they were out of front closing. So I managed to find under armor brand here. Front closing. Lycra. The ones from Walmart were cotton and my PS asked for Lycra.
Finally found them. Well we sized me in Nike. I apparently wear a medium sports bra in Nike but -- go figure under armor goes by bra size. So I bought the two that were large and extra large that they had. 34&36 DD.

THE LAST MONTH I have not made it to the gym. I feel and look disgusting. I got down to like 98 pounds at my tiniest after popping out all those kids. I liked seeing my hip and rib bones ... And my boobs got bigger too! Just knowing I'm going to gain more weight in recovery makes me want to cry. Seriously.
So taking before pictures granted my boobs are bigger and can no longer play connect the dots with my rib, and spine makes me sad. My fiancé is thrilled but I am not. First chance I get I'm busting ass in the gym.
Secondly -- I'm on IG and follow Eden knows implants and sign up for her articles. Well today I posted on today's feature about how my d/b-day is tomorrow and I was stoked. Of course next thing you know I have like 30 requests. All women who have had bad experiences and were advising me and several other women to change our minds.
So me being me, i ask questions. I immediately thought of those pro-choice protestors. Take this one "army wife". She had her breasts done a couple of years ago. She's convinced she had a leak but can't afford the MRI. this is where she bad mouths the BA. Apparently she had Lyme disease. Was not aware of it; and her "body was fighting the disease fine" but when the implants came in her body focused on "fighting the foreign objects".
So again me being me ... I'm like "call me crazy but shouldn't your LD come out in your pre-blood work?" -- she says she didn't have any blood work done. So I'm like ... Okay well thanks for telling me I'm stupid madam stranger however I've done pre-procedure blood work and I passed; I don't get to collect $200 but I get to collect 570ccs of silicone.
I don't understand why people think they're being "helpful" when they're cramming their bad experiences down your throat. Hello I don't know you. Thank you for freaking me out though.

Anyway... 7 pounds on a small frame makes a huge difference. And for the record I do have a layer of extremely loose skin but instead of trying to make money off of me the dr suggested I wait for the Tummy tuck; and just have the girls done. For now. Anyhow so here's my post surgery awful angle pics. Gross. For the record I wear a size 4 jeans no muffin top tyvm and a small in target yoga pants. Mostly everything I wear is a small and no it doesn't look like I'm falling out of things or shouldn't be wearing said clothing. I became obsessed with working out. Got down to 94-98 pounds a super deflated b... And could count my spine bones. I miss those days. But my honey won't have that. Whatever. I think 120 is reasonable
Or even 105. I could lose that in like a month month and a half. Plus I lift I don't do cardio so the scale doesn't so much matter. The fact that I can cup my butt is exciting! Squat squat squat! Anyhow this is my gross body floppy boobs thank you children and weight gain... And I'll see you all soon! Xoxoxo to my darling RS sisters! Please think happy thoughts for me tomorrow
Morning! ::kisses emoji:: ::shudder face emoji looking at these pics:: ... And yes I know totally hypocritical to post a face default and cover my ink for boobs but whatever. I rarely make sense. Xoxoxo

So they're here. I'm ready to shot myself of official post op day 1? 2?

Okay my surgery was yesterday.

It was awesome. I was laughing at my awesome PS and then I woke up with boobs. Oh my god the humiliation. I peed myself. What's the first thing I tell my fiancé? I peed myself.
I was so out of it for the two hours after the surgery ... The ride home I don't even remember my honey coming home -- getting our necessities and then bringing us to this hotel. I was fine yesterday. It just felt like I had busted ass at the gym... Maybe a heavy lifting chest/arm day? Of course I got cocky. "That's it?" .... "No no no I'm fine doing a sit up with 575 cc's of silicone on my chest made of concrete because I'm a fucking idiot". Note I'll tell my fiancé I peed myself when he did not have to know but God forbid I let him help me poop. Which I didn't do it till today.
No zingers no burning none of that. Just like rocks of concrete are on my chest. I can't shower for a week. I don't go back to see my doc until Monday. Oh man. Okay well here are these beautiful breasts I love that I do. Not. DOOOOOO NOOOOT ::Charlie brown scream:: want to shrink. I don't want the swelling to go away. I don't want them to drop and fluff. I like them just the way they are! Okay minus the pain!! I love my boobies. I hope i don't have any issues or infections. It's sucks ass I have a cough that I thought was allergies from going to pollen happy Napa. I love you all dearly for trying to check on me! Damn it no emojis. ::kissy face emoji:: x3 million. I'll be back soon. Got nothing better to do.

I'm so mad my pics didn't post!

... So you all know from above status. I posted pics but they didn't show!

Captains log ... Day post 3. F. M. L.

I think the swelling has gone down. My fiancé left for like 10 minutes and I woke up... Or my inner "someone is smoking" alarm went off. God quitting is so hard. Plus it helps me poop. Which is so not regular lately.
Secondly ow what the hell was I thinking?! Will the pain never end?! How long am I gonna be waking up in agony!?!?
We had sex last night. I'm seeing a whoooooole different side to my old man... I like him I think I'll keep him. Anyway... Today's non-change update. I think there's a change. I can get more fingers between collar bone and my ... Boobs? Implants? Idk. No burning no zingers yet slept through the night. Gonna go lay down and open these puppies up for 5 mins and ice 'em down. See how that helps. Jesus.

Oops forgot one ... Captains log post op3

Okay ... What I woulda done differently had I know yesterday. ICE MY ARM PITS MORE. THIS ... Is my current state and God help my poor fiancé when he removes them. I'll bite his fingers.
I have a questions for all my healed RS SISTERS ... Do we ever ever get to have soft boobs? Do a sit up without saying "ow" ... Sleep on our bellies? I read this one girl who said she was getting them out because she can't wrestle with her son... Have fun do anything like roller coasters are they THAT popable!? Give it to me straight. I'm ready. #TruthMe #ImNotExtractingTheseBadBoysSoJustHitMe

Also let it be known I do not believe I'm or will he suffering from Boobie greed. As long as they stay about this range I'll be happy. Any insights?! As for pics I'm all for 'em and being a gineau (spelled wrong) but idc just tell me what you wanna see. Some of these are from day one. But this is one is my current condition

Captains log... With several questions for my "professional RS SISTERS!"

Oh my god what would I do without you all?!? You guys are all so amazing in your journeys and total openness even those of you whomve had not so great experiences! God you're awesome!
Ok ... So I'm not sure if I've touched on this. Eden Knows Implants. I love her to death. Her site: Instagram articles everything. Well since it was made public like that I've got PRO-BA women with horror stories have badgered me non stop about what a huge mistake I've gone and done. Ugh. I didn't ask your opinion stranger thank you for cramming your shitty experience down my throat!

But one did catch my attention. She wants an extraction because she can't have booby bouncing sex with her husband-- can't wrestle with her boys all these things she can longer do and wants them out. Are they THAT "pop able" I mean like once im all healed I have conditions to live by? ...
As for me and my healing. I think I'm doing okay but how would I know?! I don't know what healing lifted boobs look like. Size wise I love them -- overall I love them unconditionally. I miss showers but that's a no-no at least until I go for my first post op appt. Monday. So ... Rest ice walk around hope giant mastiff puppy doesn't insist on hugging me right now. Here are some pics from this morning! Would love the input! -- oh note Dr. Rocky was worried about the sharpie on my nipples and flipped out and sent pics to my doctor she said the look good and to calm down. So I'm calm. Anyhow would one or all of us give me your insight on my questions? Please!!?!

Captains log ... Day... I don't even know.

Pain wise ... I'm miserable. The pharmacist gave me the wrong meds. My Amazing doctors office is trying to help but with the new law any "narcotics" have to be given via written rx pad. So it's being mailed to me. In the mean time -- I would like to die. I bet they'd help immensely but for now it's just Valium and antibiotics. They're definitely getting softer. But I have this burning like pain on my left side like all through my left arm and arm pit. I had Rocky ask the doctors office when they called yesterday why they hurt so bad and he said she said my PS really had to stretch the muscle to cover the implant and I was/am a lifter so I imagine she had to work hard at that. Can't wait to see her Monday to know everything is okay. No zingers. Just the burning from the top of my left breadth down through my arm sometimes all the way down to my fingers. Mostly stopping at my elbow. Anyhow ... Here's today's pics.

Oh one more thing ...

These are a god send. They're cheap. Non-reusable and only stay cold for 20 mins. So perfect for the open up and ice down for 20 orders!!!

Bah! Didn't post

These are greAt and a god send. They're only
Good for 20 mins... Cheap and easy to pop. I don't know if I would have made it this far without them!

Captains log day ... Saturday?

I don't know how to count post op days.

Well let's see ... I think the swelling has gone down. I can't tell. I don't know what a CC is so how will I know if it's happening to me?!! I'm itchy. My right breast I'm assuming where the incision is itches like freaking crazy. Why can't the tops of them be iced? I was told to ice between them and under my arm pit. But for some reason there's this like burning down my left arm. I can't pinpoint it I can't really explain it. Either. Itjust sucks and no pain pills. Sucks. Any way ... I don't see any changes but last night I was doing my icing for 20 while sports bra open for 20 before bed to help sleep. Can't sleep on my back. Omg I fell asleep like that...I woke up this morning blood on the ice packs (they go dead after 20 mins which is perfect) I hope I didn't do any damage. Yall are professionals. What kind of changes should I be looking for?

Captains log! Post day 7! Post op today!

Holy crap I'm scared. Does the tape come off today? I noticed I'm out of antibiotics and it hasn't been 10 days so wtf!! I need emojis! Okay so here's today's update prepost op. Maybe you can tell if I should be worried.

Xoxo e

... I'm on WhatsApp and IG such a pain to
Type on here!

Captain Tittys log... Post op 8-- post op 1 appt. yesterday

Captains log :: journal emoji:: post day 7/8 (as I didn't upload yesterday).

I had my first post op today (yesterday). It sure doesn't feel like 7 days have gone by. I see so many of the RS girls feel and say like their implants are "these" or "those" things. I can't imagine saying "those" things. Only with the regard of "don't you touch these things" or something loving. I love my implants. I don't even love my sisters. My RS sisters I love. My blood sisters -- they're bad people like to the core. I can honestly say I love my tits more than my sisters. Now now before we judge -- let's remember I carried one of their twins and she then shafted me and won't let me see the boys either. So yeah she's a bad bad bad person. It's not like I want custody of them! It was strictly their bun my oven only. I have no rights to them! I'm sorry I only carried them and wrecked my body (thankfully my cookie is still good! Or id be pissed. Everything else can be fixed with hard work or implants!) for them so yeah I felt a little closer to them the average aunt/nephew situation. She knows I don't want custody or would never try such a thing. She was supposed to pay for my mommy makeover. Vs the $70,000+ you have to pay strangers for surrogates. I. Did. For. Free. Like. An. Idiot.

That fee doubles with multiples by the way. And mind you those boys were damn near 7 pounds each-- 40 weeks. How often does that happen with twins?! I gave her two beautiful healthy boys and she used me. Anyway-- my point -- I'm pretty sure I was born to have implants. I can't imagine not having them. Anyway-- post op Dr. U said they look great 50/50. The one I was worried about righty ... Is perfect. Lefty still swollen nipple and implant is like in my arm pit I think. I got in trouble for getting my tattoo touched up and adding to it. She also confirmed my biggest fear. I have not gained a ton of weight. Mostly water weight and swelling still. Weight gained confirmed.

I can finally take showers as of this afternoon. Gotta use my hibiscus soap don't directly wash the boobs but the suds will get it type shower. God I've missed showers. And of course my personal at home doctor -- Dr. Rocky Beardo has insisted he shower with me to make sure "everything is okay" and "I dont slip". Really? I didn't know breast augmentation was a slip hazard. God I love him. Im gonna post a pic of us so you guys have a mental of what my Beardo looks like. Those of you who haven't gone over to IG!

Back to the post op -- my left nipple is still swollen according to her and it's still like in my arm pit. Which I will say I don't mind. I want big fake boobs. But I guess they look different idk. Ill post a side by side type collage from day one.

But basically I'm healing good still swollen. Right one is perfect she said and that's the one I was worried about. She replaced the strippy things. She said if they fall off that oh well they fall off. I finally got pain meds. Oh man do they help! ?????? -- I'm a happy girl right now ladies. Got my extensions back. Got my hand tattoo finished and touched up. My boobies look good and well... I'm gonna marry my best friend. One day. My ex- and last marriage traumatized me. One day I'll tell you guys me and Rockys story. We're meant to be. Everyone says so.

Here's some yesterday and today and some random. Pics for now! I'll check in later! Happy healing to my beautiful RS sisters. I'd be lost without you all.

I'm scared ... advise please

I say I am flipping out. I wanna call and move my scheduled 2 week post op up... I see this not filled in area and same boob-- over filled in my arm it.
Even after seeing boobs everyone is different how am I supposed to know what to look for?! What's swelling what's not.. Etc.
Plus my left boob is scaring me!

Captains log .. Post 10-/11 idk questions for days'

You know when you go somewhere and somebody says can you think of any questions you might have for me? And you think for a second and youre like no no I don't think so... and then you go home… And 8 million questions come to the front of your head so that's what we're doing right now that's what's happening right now.
1.) what the hell is wrong with my boob. See video. Is that. Normal?
2) how much of this is actually swelling?
3,) are my boobs anywhere near the size they will be when this is all said and done?!
4,) there's a burning from left inside down to my elbow. I'm left handed. Makes sense this would be my trouble maker.
I know I need to have patience… But oh my god it's so hard I want to know what I should be looking for like what swelling what's not the swelling should I still be are you seeing your mollies random questions I always forget to ask my doctor that come up later I don't know maybe I'm just being stupid.
As for pain it doesn't hurt hurt everything just feels like someone is pushing on a bruise. Only my bruise is everywhere.
I promise I'll be good and stop flipping out if y'all watch the video and tell me I'm normal and not to be flipping out I will. But I'm just scared of all that could go wrong. And I wanna know so badly an idea of what I'm gonna have going here. I love them so much in the tank and sports bra though! Love love

Seriously upset ... I need info ladies ASAP.

I don't want to say anything in a post that will look negative against my doctor. She's amazing and communication can be a bitch when your fiancé has a loud ass mouth; is a Hells Angel and happens to have the mind set of "my old lady is my universe and world". No I'm not complaining like that I'm just saying it can make things difficult.

So this is what I need ladies and it's damn important. Please feel free to get me on "Whats App" or text me directly like right the hell now if you're up. Especially if you know the answer to the following questions ...*****

What would be the main differences between someone who received a lolly pop lift and 575 unders MPP VS... Lolly pop lift 575 unders with HP OR UHP? Like specifically. What are the differences?

Ps ... There are a handful of ladies I simply adore more than anything and I would not have gotten though this without them. But God damn having to remember our log in names... By chance I came across Brenda's profile in something else I wasn't going to go looking for my super close RS sisters but I so will tomorrow. This woman has been through so much. Bad shit shouldn't happen to good people and I just adore her! Heart your face Bren!

Boy time flies doesn't it!!?!

First off I don't know what I would do without LynnCc, fit and healthy mom and mrs500. Seriously. I adore you all.

So let's see ... Like an idiot last I somehow ended up on my side. Woke up this morning when rock woke me up and tried to get me to get to my back and I wanted to scream. I don't think I did much damage. Just sore.
Then yesterday ... My 150 pound mastiff puppy went for an avocado I dropped and I reached for it-- oh. My. God. I screamed yelped call it what you want. Nearly passed out from the pain. I think because I can touch hands above my head and I'm what like 20 days post? (4/20) I'm getting more and more frustrated with taking it easy and getting cocky. Plain and simple , we went from sex 3-5 times a day to NOTHING. SOMEONE shoot me. We're both cranky and snappy.
It sucks. Most of the swelling has gone down in my belly thank god but ::gasp:: I believe I've gained weight ::hysterical crying goes here:: no gym... No sex... No sleeping on my back. Jesus. All this for nice boobs? Fine. I just happen to really like them today. I listened to LynnCC and didn't look for a couple of days and I audibly gasped when I looked in the mirror. I love
My boobs. Please don't change! ::shooing motion:: away with you drop and fluff fairy. I think I have my sutures removed Monday fml I think it will hurt as having the tape changed HURT. Anyway... Anytime I think of pretty kisses lips I think of my Darling LynnCC And one of these pics is just for you!

Random arm rash... For my darling Milablatova!

So I noticed yesterday I had to go buy some of the awesome 20 minutes and then dead ice packs from Walgreens. As most of you know my wonderful fiancé Rocky is normally like "OH My god! You picked up your 1/3 pound pillow!?! What are you doing!!?!!! ::angry emoji face::"
So I ran there and back really quick and bought him this amazing cologne ... Walgreens carries Gucci cologne!?! Who knew?! (and if uses the entire bottle if it's under 30 days he can return! Love Walgreens!)
So I had this bag containing the cologne -- the box of ice packs and maybe an assortment of my signature matte red lipstick. Perhaps an Amazon gift card or two for yours truly. Anyhow.. By the time I got to the car I looked down and "wtf-Ed" myself really loud. Out loud. Surprise ... My future mother in law is standing behind me like "ummm surprise? Are you okay?"
Oh Jesus Christ fml. I was only screaming in the parking lot at my arm alone. No biggie. Anywho ... Apparently I bruise super easy-- my skin is super dry and wtf I look like a leopard.

Also my RS SISTERS... I simply love and adore you all so much and you're not all on Instagram and as I loathe Facebook-- I wanted to show you all my little family I'm always mentioning! One day I will take the time to tell you all Rock and my love story. The notebook and titanic have nothing on us! Neither does R&S!

Bah! Pics didn't upload!

Okay so ... Like my last post but no pics added trying again! I would absolutely lost without you and some of you I've really come to love and think of as friends and as some aren't on ig! I loathe Facebook just wanted to share my little family with my RS SISTERS! Not intended for the recent onslaught of RS MALE PERVOS! Away with you! Shooooo! Or my fiancé will come beat you all to a pulp and drag you to your wives and tell them why you've gotten what you've gotten!

The story ... As promised... (UN BA RELATED!)

I've promised my nearest and dearest RS Sisters... Fit and Healthy Mom, Mrs. 500,
And the ever hopeless romantic Lynncc; this story forever! I thought as I assumed I would be flat on my back with a full lolly pop lift; and 575 cc silicone unders; and a very over protective fiancé I would have a multitude of time to tell this completely BA unrelated story of my personal life! (RS needs an update. I need emojis to communicate).
And surprise surprise those of us who could only stay in bed as per doctors orders...short of an "accidental Valium overdose" (yes our darling rocky went to those lengths to ensure I would stay in bed out of concern; nothing malicious) I was over confident! Following afternoon 1... Or morning I should say -- I was out and about. Of course I never mentioned anything here because my RS sister would rip me a new one and frankly I was getting enough from doctor Rocky. The day of the operation I was out mostly. Not really painful just felt like I had over did the gym lifting. Day 1 though?! Oh forget I wasn't driving because Rocky took my keys but I was no way staying in bed 24-7. I kicked laundry out to the garage ... Used my monkey feet a lot so to not break the "not over 2 pounds rule AFTER A WEEK" but I was day 2 soooo... I was kicking. Anyway --

Here it is.
I had a shit childhood. I developed very young. Big Beautiful boons that belonged on a college student? They were on a 11 year old. Every mothers nightmare. Tiny waist and a bubble butt. My poor mom. So glad I didn't have girls. My good friend Nereida ... She currently has an 18 year old daughter behaving like an asshole. I thank Jesus the gods my grandmother believes in everyone that I didn't have a girl.
Anyhow ... So I hung out with an older crowd. School for me was miserable. I got bullied for boys liking me and me never giving them the time of day -- girls hated me because boys liked me. I won't get to the depressing parts lets skip all that.
Napa was a painfully small town. Like really small.
One day I was walking home with my friend Rebecca (first day of summer whoop!) who's like 10 years older than me I was 15 going on 30. And all of a sudden this gorgeous 1964 blue Chevelle shoots across the two lanes of double sided traffic. Almost runs us over. Two dudes in the car. I'm used to this crap. But something about the driver. Oh my god. Most gorgeous eyelashes: eyes; face id ever ever ever seen. And he had a sticker that said "bad cop no donut" on his back window! *!bad boy!*

I swear to this day we'll both tell you something happened in that moment. It was intense. I actually lost control of my legs and everything. Turns out randomly Robert who was Rockys passenger knew Rebecca. It was super hot-- Napa summers are miserable.
So Robert -- as Rocky had done nothing but stare at me offered us a ride home. Rebecca looked at me for confirmation but I had lost my ability to speak. Suddenly my big girl voice came on and said "nobody does shit for free-- I stole mr dads pot because he has no business with it-- you guys can have it".
So into the back seat we went.
3 times Mr. Bad boy was so busy eye checking me in the rear view that he
•ran one red light
•ran a stop sign
•almost hit an old lady so hard I went flying over the front seat. Mind you I had been sitting on Rebecca's lap because he had giant speakers back there and I wasn't stupid enough to sit on those with the boom they made ::evil smiley emoji::

It took Rebecca; Robert and Rocky all grabbing me to keep me from flying head first into the dash. It was horribly mortifying. Because mr bad boy who had yet to intro himself -- had a hand full of my ass and back pocket and took that moment to say "I'm Rocky" cue bad boy perfect smile. I said "thanks for trying to break my face" he said "well we couldn't have that! That would be some kind of blasphemy." My heart was pounding but I rolled my eyes.

Eventually we got home safely.

That's how we started. We spent the TV version of amazing summer together. Going to all of napas hidden spots at Lake Berryessa ... Making out for hours. No regular sex. He never pushed me. I guess he sensed my innocence I don't know. Basically we're all adults here-- he took care of me a lot. I did nothing in return because I was terrified and he didn't mind. He told me years later he constantly went to the bathroom because I gave him blue balls daily but I didn't even know what that was!

So the perfect summer came and went -- and then he asked me... "I've never seen you drive do you not have a car?" -- I'm like ummm I don't even have a permit. That freaked him out bad. I never thought about it. It killed me but he didn't want to worry about going to jail and we just never saw each other again. He was way over 18 like 22? He's 8-9 years older than me. So I was big trouble. Broke my heart literally.

Every once in a while he'd randomly stop by because he'd missed me and we'd sit on my porch and talk. We were best friends. But seeing him killed me. This went on for about a year.
That next summer we had the same thing. He gave in. Haha. Spent it with me. We were careful still no sex. Except one time I basically raped him-- he took my virginity. Very corny Hollywood TV. But he stayed away after that. Random porch visits. Just talks. Heart breaking every time. I finally told him to stay away I couldn't handle it anymore.

I then got a full scholarship to Davis -- at 16. Graduated early with honors. Even though I was a fighter always in trouble at school my mom deemed homeschool was the answer and boy was she right. I did 4 years of high school in 2.

Fast forward. I ruined that opportunity. I decided I wanted to move to nyc out of the blue. Packed up my Jetta and took off. Left Rocky in my rear view. Lots of shitty things happened to me between those two though but I'm not Debbie poor me downer so past that.

I came home on vacation ... I was about 18 and Met this moron Chris in San Francisco. Well I got knocked up. My grandmother mother they all begged me to marry this asshole. They're super traditional. I'm convinced he set me up by the way ... Poking holes in things.

Anyway so I married him. Ugh. Miserable for years. Rocky was always in my head. Always.

Fast forward 8-9 years of miserable marriage and my dog runs away from the dog sitter...has work being done on the house so couldn't have them there. We now live in Vallejo. This was about 2 years ago. We start going door to door my very separated husband and I who was already in another relationship (hail
Mary thank you God) and we approach this house. Ask for my dog or if they'd seen it. They say "check next door they have a lot of dogs maybe they've seen her".
I'm totally broken. My little girl is gone! 3 pound chihuahua mix that looks like a baby deer. So we knock. And ill be damned Rocky answered the door. He swears now he did recognize me he he didn't. I was very skinny very blonde hair. No boobs. I was so shocked to see him I fell backwards over a bag of fertilizer.

He still didn't recognize me. I had my hood on it was late. Anyway so my ex gave him my number told him If you see the dog please call my wife. Asshole hater! He recognized Rocky right away! I was too busy In shock to realize he had said my wife.

Mind you Vallejo is like two towns over from Napa where we grew up.

Ok. I stayed up nights trying to figure out what to do. I just decided to let it go. Fast forward 6 months -- about 7-8 months ago I go walking my puppy crazy nyxie down the waterfront here in Vallejo. She went nuts ... Wrapped herself around a strangers legs! I look up like wtf?!! Guess who it is? First thing he says is ... Was it you? That night at my house with your husband? And I said yup. I'm so glad you finally recognized me. It was like no time had gone by ... Here nyx is wrapped around his legs I'm yelling at him he's yelling at me it was ridiculous. Then he said where's your stupid husband? I said uhhh he lied. Hasn't been my husband for years he recognized you unlike you did me and cock blocked me I guess. But I didn't get to finish that statement because he kissed me. Fireworks. Knees week. Etc etc he and his evil wife had also been going through a split up (I checked the texts -- I don't "date" married men). She was moved out. He just didn't have anywhere to go so she moved out and he could stay at his own house as long as he payed the bills. She's a real money hungry type this one.

Anyway ... By the end of that weekend he had packed up his shit. Him and my son were like long lost bffs ... And now here we are. The end of the beginning anyway. So that's the story I promised my girls. The entire truth. As we've talked over time with the exception of me being in San Francisco and Nyx... Rocky has always been within a mile or closer of me. Literally for 8-9 years through different towns and everything. I guess we never ran into each other because fate decided we were both married and self control would go out the window? I don't know. But when we ran into each other at the water front we were both single -- done both of our others were with other people. And now ... I live with my best friend. Who as it turns out is the male version of me. 1000%. He's my best friend -- his family loves me. Mom and sis didn't ever like the ex first thing they told me. She ripped apart their family. And little ol' me and my pushy ways have brought them all back together again. Rocks mom told him if ever lets me go she'll kill him. But there you have it my sisters. The story of us.

Awwww caca!

I'm like 89% sure my staples and tape are coming off today. I'm dragging ass coming up with every excuse in the book not to go to my appointment. I have a feeling this is gonna hurt something awful. But damn Rock is so pushy!

Captains log on yesterday's appointment

Okay it sucked. Apparently -- the line on my right breast is not doing so hot. However just by taking Drs advice and cleaning it twice a it's gotten so much better.
The tape it stung! The staples there were only one two and I didn't feel a thing!
Prepare yourselves ... It's bad. Kinda why I've stayed off but you guys have always supported me so more crossed fingers the better. No infection yet she said ... But she wants me lines to heal smooth an straight. Apparently I did this not taking it easy. So for the next two weeks I'm bed rested like day one one steroids. I can't like lift anything. Not even under 2 pounds and ... Absolutely no gym not even treadmill or no arm work outs. Lay in bed. That's it. But I'm going to power through it so my girls can get start getting to massage and she said from what she can tell my girls will be perfect and symmetric and just what we both wanted IF I DONT SCREW THIS UP BY NOT STAYING STILL.

It's been so long!

Hi dolls! It's been so long I don't even know where to start.

I'm having a small problem with my right side and I'm not into posting pictures today. I will soon though but I'm only updating to vent.

So even when I was heavy and had my own large breasts I wore tank tops. Just black or white normal tank tops. I don't remember having this kind of trouble.
Everywhere I go. I have problems. Women are so rude to me -- if there's more than two of them (I call this a pack of snickers)-- if a boyfriend or a husband stares at me he can't just look and glance or no-- he has to stare so hard he crashes his cart into his girlfriend/wife his God damn old lady. Then her eyes immediately sense the threat and I of course being the immature person I am likely am standing there laughing. That last time I was with rocky so it's not like I appeared to be man hunting. And I'm perfectly happy with Rocky so I'm not out staring at attractive guys or any such thing. I swear I am not. But these little people of "power" (by little they're usually fat women) or just mean evil step mother types. Here's an example ok so I was buying Amazon gift cards this is my everybody go-to gift. You can't buy the undefined amount on a credit card. Like the $50-200. It must be predesignated like the $100 or $50. So I go to Walgreens these heffers (and if you wanna call me a racist I don't give a crap because I'm not this is just a fact-- I like live in a black town-- black chicks are way worse) start muttering both looking at me the minute I walk in. And I'm always nice to people at the start. Asked where the gift cards were both of them stared at my tits then look me up and down and I swear one wanted to comment but the other one just lifted her finger and said "over there". I'm like great thanks.
So I walk around get the cards -- my standard bandages these days and holy shit a front closing sports bra made of Lycra (which I'm still in awesome). I take all this shit up. I have my credit card and I'd out in my hand. She scans everything with this fucking smirk cards and all. Then she pulls this "no cash or debit card no gift card" and gives me this smile like she's eaten the canary. I'm like the other Walgreens accepts it as long as they're predesignated. Her face drops so much it's comical it retrospect. And her fat friend literally comes up out of nowhere (mind you a moment of 60 seconds of pure silence has passed) goes shoulder to shoulder with her and says "we aren't like the other Walgreens bitch". Yes she called me a bitch.
So I did what person would do. I asked her just like this ... "Do you just want to feel my tits or do you think the manager gets down with you calling customers bitches?" "He ain't gonna believe you bitch". So I lost it I started screaming really stupid shit because I have no self control and I won't repeat what I said here my good friends probably already know ::insert funny slightly embarrassed emoji face here:: lucky for me the manager had heard her call me a bitch twice and I got my shit on my credit card and left. But here's my thing. Unless I'm with Rocky -- I catch such a hard time. Everywhere I go. 90% of the time I'm catching shit the other 10% it's a woman asking questions about my tits when I'm trying to get shit done in my day to day. Im no longer a person I'm just a set of tits. And this in a sports bra. Now if I would have known this would be such a problem pre-ba would I have gone the same? Absolutely. Now I just carry a jersey or one of rocks flannels in the car everywhere I go. Granted it's 300° in Vallejo everyday and I look stupid but hey I guess the combo of tattooed arms--big fake tits in and a god damn smile gives you instant villain status.
People automatically assume we're mean because of the gear we wear so I at times go out of my way to be nice to certain people. More shock value and teaching people a lesson about sterotyping than just being nice but damn ... It's middle school all over again. But see ... When I talk to Rocky it's "maybe you should just wear a jersey over your tank when we're in public" ok why? I didn't have to when I was like fat. And I see heavy girls wear waaaaaay more not okay stuff. And why is a tank top so bad? I want honest opinions here. I actually put on a tank top and took pics of what I look like and I want honest opinions seriously. Not support! Just honesty. Granted I hear this a lot "why are you covered in tattoos with huge fake tits if you don't want the attention and it's not like you're ugly soooo?" The honest answer to that is when I got my ink I didn't do it for attention. I did it because I wanted the ink. I got my tits because I wanted them. Who does permanent shit like that for anyone else but themselves? I don't know maybe people do. I don't but fuck man and pardon my god damn cussing I don't do anything for public attention!! So I'm asking the lot of my girls and loving followers ... Give it to me straight.

Revision and lipo DONE

Well ... I know I've been really bad not posting. I'm an ass.
So here goes the update.

My original ready lift and implants (565 mpp) were not what I wanted. My stitches for some reason didn't dissolve. It was a miscommunication; not anything my doctor, Dr. Usha Rajagopal did or didn't do. It was just a irregular thing.

That surgery and journey was documented from the beginning (see earlier entries).

My last check up visit for the 565's wasn't the best. The scar on the right side wouldn't heal completely without help. It finally did but not perfect. As I said my body for some reason did not absorb the sutures. I couldn't work out right; I gained a lot of weight. This time I decided for the revision she agreed to do I would be upgrading to 800's and they'd be UHP this time. Well I have those now. The lipo as of now I totally regret. The pain is unbelievable. I look like I'm 7 months pregnant; can't breathe in this corset; wrap type thing. So hard.
And I'm completely dependent on my mom and Rocky to just go to the bathroom. I can't and won't do pictures of my belly right now. I have serious control issues due to past issues. Well not having control over myself and my own decisions, my body especially makes me unstable mentally. If I had known it would be this bad I wouldn't have done it. The pain is awful; super swollen and I'm pretty sure it's only going to get worse. Not making things easier by treating Rocky and mom like it's their fault by being a Bitch. I was totally unprepared for this lipo after treatment. Didn't know it would BE THIS BAD. Uncomfortable sure but not this. But my boobs relatively pain free. And we went from 565 to 800. Here's a couple shots of what I can get of my new girls. I do love them; but know now not to get attached until a month or so goes by! Here's hoping this second time around for better than first! Bra is the new front closing Victoria's Secret Bra's which staff removed underwire from prior to putting on me! I love them. They're nice to look at and pretty comfy. 38DD was too small to close inside bra. So just the outside is closed for now but that's all I've got for now. Hoping tomorrow is better. And wish I knew if I had traditional lipo or not ????
San Francisco Plastic Surgeon

This doctor is phenomal. I can't say enough good things about her. I feel like I'm visiting with a friend when I go see her! She's flat out told me "no" when I've gone all ..."surgery addict" it's true once you get one thing you want it all. Tummy tuck; lipo-- and she's flat out out told me "you don't need it I won't do it stop it." I absolutely love this woman and she does amazing work. I can't believe more Bay Area people haven't gone to see her. She's amazing her bedside is heavenly and she follows through on everything. I recommend her with everything I've got! If I could give her 10 stars I would. And her staff -- Jennifer in particular she's great!

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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