18 mths PO not happy

A little about me:
I have been waiting 16 years for this!!!!

I'm 5'3 160lbs. I have had 3 beautiful boys, the first was a c-section. Since then my stomach has never been the same. Even though there was only one baby in my belly each pregnacy, I looked like I was prego with twins each time. I had a breast reduction and lift back in 2006. I was a DDD, with flat pancake boobs. I wanted to go down to a small C, but ended up being way smaller than that. Plus when I raise my arms there is a void and when I lay down whatever boobs I have disappear. So I have decided to get some new ones. I have lost about 35lbs in the last year and decided now is the time to go ahead with the Mommy Makeover. I could stand to lose some more weight, but I am ready NOW! I have been married for 17 years and have a very supportive husband. He will be taking time off of work to take care of me, so I am very thankful for that. He took care of me when I had the BR done and I survived that so I think I am in good hands!
I have gone to a few consultations in the different areas we have lived in. We are a military family and have never lived somewhere long enough for me to have the procedure done and have adequate time to recover. So now that things are slowing down, my children are older and my husband is done deploying..it is finally time for ME!!!!

I had my first consult with Dr. Pousti and immediately loved him! I loved his playful and relaxed manner. He made my husband and I feel so comfortable. He has a quiet confidence that I find very appealing in a doctor. We were brought into the "lounge room" I was given a black robe to put on, which for some unknown reason my husband thought was sexy. (The man is blinded by love thank God lol). Dr. Pousti came in and was teasing us about not leaving us alone anymore :-) Dr. Pousti asked what my goals were, what I was looking for as far as results. He told me that I was a good candidate for a regular as well as an extended TT. I did not want to have the extended, because its really only the stomach that bothers me. I can work on the other parts thru diet and excersise. Plus A little lipo will help! I had a chance to see another patient who was a week PO from her MM. She showed me her results and I asked her some questions. I also talked to a staff member who was 4 weeks PO from her BA that Dr. Pousti did. After talking to everyone and seeing their results, I knew I was in the right place! I scheduled another consult.

The next consult we just talked a little more about what I wanted and I asked a few more questions. I scheduled my surgery that day.

I went in on the 18th for my preop. I even took my 4yr old with me. The staff is so great and I love that some are moms and encouraged me during the first consult to bring my kids if I needed to. Once again, we went into the Lounge room and discussed the procedure. I was so nervous!! I have been waiting for this for so long and am still in shock that it is even going to happen. I felt like a kid waiting to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what I want for Christmas. I am sure that Santa is going to make me and my husband very happy this year!
I did the naked pre op pictures EEK!! My son thought it was so funny to see his mom getting naked in front of everyone. I did the front, side, back and diving pose for the camera. My son of course had to take his turn, "Diving" for the camera to. He had us all cracking up and having him there was so heartwarming for me. It helped me to relax and to remember why I was doing this. I love my boys, they are the very beat of my heart. Yet, I want to feel like more than a mom. I want to see on the outside, what I feel on the inside. Youthful, carefree and sexy! My husband has never once looked at me any differently no matter how big or small I was/am. I was a 36-23 1/2-35 when we married 17 years ago. I'm not looking to regain that girl I was back then. I am looking to start fresh with the woman I am today.

Well the anxiety and doubts have started creeping in. A little fear as well. I had a dream this past weekend that I had my MM and my husband didn't want me anymore. I spent all morning barely talking to my DH because I was so upset. We have a wonderful relationship and when I'm not talking he knows something is wrong. I finally opened up to him and he couldn't believe I would even think something like that. The rational part of my brain knows that he would never think that way but the scared part of me, is just that..SCARED! What if I look like Frankenstein? What if my insicion looks like a character from Nightmare Before Christmas? What if I have a uniboob and they are so high they choke me in my sleep! AHHHH!!!
So, I called the PS and talked to Helen, who by the way is fantastic. She helped calm my nerves and assured me that these are all normal feelings and thoughts. She said not to worry that I was in great hands and will end up with fantastic results. So I am going to try to calm down a bit and remember that no matter what I have the love and support of my family.
I have to be at the surgery center at 545am on the 5th which is a Monday, so I am going in the Friday before to have my markings done. I am glad for that because it will give me a little time to visualize what I will look like after the procedure. Plus it will save my PS from having to do it the morning of. So we will be able to just get right to the surgery.
Best wishes and recovery everyone :-)

Wow! Time is flying by! Sitting here looking at my before pictures and thinking about how long I have carried this stomach around. My oldest son is 16, so yeah that's a long time walking by all my favorite stores in the mall sighing and mentally tormenting myself because I could not fit into the clothes. A long time tearing up and crying in the dressing room, and coming out telling my husband "It just didn't fit me right." A long time stretching out my shirts so they were not tight on my stomach. It's just been a long time..too long. I am looking foward to the minute I wake up and look down and see the ME that has been hiding under there..somewhere.