5 days out now,and they're already feeling like...
5 days out now,and they're already feeling like they're apart of me :) I'm a little alarmed by my hulkish veins from the swelling and my incisions are looking angry when I peeked at them today, but that's to be expected. My husband is thrilled with how big the are right now haha. While I'm just dying to have them drop & fluff! I can't wait to get the OK on massages!
I did a lot of prep before my surgery that i think helped me so far in my recovery, so I thought I'd share.
THINGS TO DO BEFORE SURGERY:
PREP YOUR ENVIRONMENT:
My hubbs and I spent the week before my surgery cleaning out every nook and cranny of the apartment so I'd have a peaceful & clean place to heal. All laundry was done, bedding was washed, dishes put away, and drawers were organized so I had nothing to worry about besides myself.
PREP YOUR MEALS:
We made sure to stock up on healthy fruits and veggies for me as well as things that would be easy on my tummy if I were too sick to eat.
I even prepped a weeks worth of homemade freezer meals for the hubbs and included a few soups for me so I didn't have to worry about food for the first few days.
SET UP COMFY SPOTS:
I set up a soft area with plush pillows to prop myself up and blankets on both my living room couch and bed so I could quickly be comfy and ready to sleep. I lined everything with towels in case my lipo drained, and it was so nice to have a place to just plop into when we got home! I wouldn't have been able to set all of it up with my t-rex arms after the surgery anyways!
SET OUT YOUR NECESSITIES
I also put all items I would need access to (medicines, books, toiletries, comfy clothing) on my bedside table or set out in the bathroom so that I wouldn't have any bending, squatting, or reaching up to do.
DRINK YOUR WEIGHT IN WATER:
Drink as much water as you can get the day before your surgery (up until your cut off time). I also made sure to eat a diet heavy in Anti-Inflammatory foods the month before to help purge sodium and such from my body and stimulate lymphatic drainage and help with swelling. Plus, I kept reading ladies woke up dying of thirst after surgery and I woke up fine :)
THINGS TO GET BEFORE YOUR SURGERY:
DESITIN/DIAPER RASH CREAM
Seems odd, but this has been a LIFESAVER for the chaffing I've had on my arms from the bulky post-op bra! Trust me, it's worth it!
ARNICA MONTANA & PRE/POST-OP VITAMINS
This is a homeopathic remedy for bruising and swelling. I bruise so easily, so this was a must for me. Don't bother with the expensive brand they try to push at the Dr. office though ($50 at mine, sheesh). I got some on Amazon for $8, just make sure it's 30x. Post-op vitamins also seem to be crucial to helping me heal. My skin even looks radiant since I began my pre-op regimen 3 weeks before my surgery. Focus on amino acids like l-arginine & l-glumatine and immune system building blocks like manganese, vitamin C ad zinc. I bought the Make Me Heal.com set for the sake of convenience, but it came in at $60. You could do just as well taking the time to buy yours all separately.
CUTE NECK SCARVES
I have already been out and about a few times since my surgery and all of my tops are either low cut or tight tees. To solve the "hey, I just had a boob job" look you get from the stabilizer strap, I tied a scarf all billowy around my neck. Old Navy used to have cute ones and sarongs can work the same way.
So there ya go, just a few tips that I feel like really helped me heal as far and as comfortably as I have been. Everything has been right where I need it, and I've been able to focus on taking care of myself. Granted, we don't have children :)
8 days out, and I finally had my post-op where...
8 days out, and I finally had my post-op where you're allowed to start showering and massaging. I have been trying on clothing now and allowed to wear sports bras and it's taken a toll on my emotions seeing the results.
I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week. Lots of crying. I feel that my implants are about 100cc too big for what I had pictured. I know they will drop & fluff, but from what I've read, that make actually make them look BIGGER. I love the front view, but the profile is no where near what I thought I'd have.They look heavy to me and stick out about 3 inches farther than I was picturing.
I'm freaking out and my husband is pretty angry that he spent all this money and I am less than happy with the result. Everyone keeps saying they look great, but every time I look in the mirror, I get sick to my stomach.
They look similar to the pictures I chose in shape, but in an effort to make them "proportional to my body" the doctor chose to go larger than the images. I have so many regrets about not speaking up during pre-op. I thought I was pretty clear about what I wanted, but now I am left rattled and upset. I ended up with 375cc & 400cc when I was assuming I'd be around 300-350 like the images.
Not sure where to go from here, I haven't fully discussed this with the doctor. I gave him the go ahead to do what he thought was best to match the photos, and I feel he'll blame me for simply changing my mind or something. We don't have another $6000 to drop on a revision.
Just so upset right now. I'm trying so hard to be excited and like the new fullness, but they look so big, heavy, and stick out very far. Hopefully I'll feel better as they change.
17 day's post op :) Been having up days and down...
17 day's post op :) Been having up days and down days, other blogs refer to this as "the boobie blues". Some days, I'm in love with my new size, some days I have a partial break-down because they look so big :/
Already been sleeping on my side since the end if of week one and have gone back to photo shoots (I'm a photographer), so physically, I feel fantastic. The girls at the office were amazed at my one week post-op. I was already asking when I could work out again, and they couldn't believe I was already able to take my own liposuction garment off without assistance. So yay for great recoveries!
My scars are healing nicely too, so I'll post pictures soon! Going to start using silicone scar sheets and Scar Esthetique once the scabs are gone.
I went to my 3rd post-op last Thursday, as well as a Cool-scultping event (look it up, it's awesome!!) and actually got to sit down, unrushed with one of the office girls after she heard I was struggling with my big implants. She convinced me that they look great, and I'll get used to them. She herself was assuming she'd receive 450cc and no bigger and said she panicked when she found herself with 600cc, but she loves them now - so much in fact- that she's worked for Dr. Pousti ever since (3 years!) :)
I have to add another 5 stars to Dr. Pousti by the way lol he was here on Realself on Saturday, recognized some of my pictures in the Q&A sections with me panicking about my size and immediately called me... from his home... on a Saturday to make sure I was OK and remind me that I can always call him to get a straight answer right away instead of waiting for the Q&A :) That's first-rate service right there :)
Lastly, I went to the mall the other day with friends and decided to get measured at VS... they put me at a 32DD. Trying not to panic at that :) The office girl I chatted with said she's an F or something at VS and a C over at Nordstroms! So I'm trying hard to not give a crud about letters and CC numbers anymore. Definitely a transition period!
I'm posting some in clothes pictures down below from earlier this week. My girls have actually already changed since these images, so I'll post again soon :)
Struggling pretty hard core today with how big my...
Struggling pretty hard core today with how big my girls are :( I've been trying so ahrd to like them, and be excited that I have a giant rack now, but it just isn't working. My husband got super impatient tonight over it, and I am now sleeping on the couch. I'm devastated! This surgery was supposed to help me feel BETTER about myself and in turn, help my marriage be the best it could be since my hubbs would know I felt great about myself. Instead, it's been a huge point of tension and we're arguing more than we have in a VERY long time.
I feel like fricking Lara Croft when I go out, and I just want to hide them! I've never been too modest, always worse an immensely padded bra and flaunted it, but these breasts look heavy and too full on me. One year for halloween, I used a VS Miraculous Bra (adds 2 cup sizes) and also inserted 2 inch thick silicone "cutlet" bra inserts to give myself a ridiculously, comically huge rack and I feel they are about the same size as they were then!
I'm looking into a possible revision as my issue with them isn't the fullness up top that will resolve with a drop and fluff, and rather they are too heavy and too wide on the bottom, which will only get fuller.
I feel very matronly looking, and being 22, this was NOT the look I was going for. I'll admit, they look and feel fairly natural and they're a great looking pair.... they just aren't right on me.
I've read some doctors will do revisions under local anesthesia, so hopefully I can go this route and save myself some money? The thought of spending even more money makes me so sick to my stomach. I wish I'd been clearer about not wanting BIG boobs to begin with, just a fuller version of my own.
PS: I tried on real bras at Target today and found I fit in 36C and 34D, so it's not the cup size messing with my head anymore- it's how they LOOK.
It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow since my surgeries, and...
It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow since my surgeries, and I had been feeling a bit better about the size. I started dressing myself up and enjoying them and thinking, "hey, they aren't THAT big". And then... I saw myself in a set of photos from a party last weekend- the first photos aside from the ones posted here that have been taken since my surgery. My jaw literally dropped with shock and that horrible feeling in my stomach came back :/
I wanted a nice set of full breasts, but I did not want to be the "whoa, that girl's got a big rack!" set of breasts. And wow, those pictures showcased me as the latter and then some. I actually photoshopped them SMALLER before posting them on facebook... which is a 180 from how I used to edit myself in pictures. Oi.
I'm going to start to save for my revision now. I'm moving to Hawaii in the fall, so I'll need it before then :/
I'm also very nervous for a trip home next month to see my family. I haven't told them I had the surgery, and never plan to as they wouldn't understand or forgive me for doing it both from a financial and religious standpoint. But, with how large they are, I'm sure I'll be asked questions.
5 weeks post up today.
I've been trying to...
5 weeks post up today.
I've been trying to ignore and not think about my boobs since my last post. It's been fairly easy since work has been keeping me super busy!
However, I still feel gross with these big boobies on me :/ Part of the reason I wanted implants was so I could buy cheaper, cute bras and swimsuits instead of expensive, super padded ones. Well, now it seems, I have to spend just as much on special order sizes like DD >:( So pissed off about that! I love Victoria's Secret and half the swimsuits I think are cute aren't even available in DD...
I hadn't intended to buy an entire new wardrobe either and it's driving me nuts that I don't fit in any of my old clothes, when I used to fit perfectly with my padded bras. Mediums are too tight and short and larges are too baggy and sag at the shoulders. UGH!
Broken record, I know :(
I have a post-op appt tonight and I'm going to make it very clear that I'm still unhappy. I'm also concerned about how my scars are healing. I have 3 separate spots where a chunk of the scab fell out (gross, sorry!) and there are indents/holes in my scar line now! I scar terribly and am very worried that these will heal ugly.
I'm sure all I'll hear tonight is "it takes time, just wait and see" and that offers very little comfort. Oi.
Oh well, I guess I'll just have to bury myself in work some more to keep myself distracted. I'm also trying to tone up and get more fit (the lipo got me motivated!) so hopefully if I lose a bit more weight and tone up, I'll like my girls better? Here's hoping!
Just adding some pictures of me at 5 weeks,...
Just adding some pictures of me at 5 weeks, including the incisions.
Ignore the hulk-like veins >:( Another thing that makes me really sad about my implants, and something I hadn't even considered :*(
I had intended to post that I was somewhat coming...
15 May 2012
2 months post
I had intended to post that I was somewhat coming to terms with my new boobs. I'm 3 months today, and they have dropped a bit. I went in to VS for an actual fitting versus just a girl measuring, and I busted out of all the DD's still. That makes me very unhappy. I'm an XL in all Target swim tops as well. They still feel huge, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that we can't afford a fix so I just need to get over it. I had been doing alright, even feeling sexy lately... that was until I noticed the multiple dark red and disgusting stretch marks that line the underside of both of my breasts. Needless to say, after a long crying spell and reassurance from my husband, I hate my breasts more than ever. Unlike the shape/size and scars, stretch marks are permanent and something I had never even considered nor been warned about. It may have to do with my light complexion, but either way I can't believe how ugly they're looking with the harsh veins and stretch marks. So upsetting. I'll post pictures soon.
Well, the stretch marks have gotten worse and now...
29 May 2012
2 months post
Well, the stretch marks have gotten worse and now wrap almost the the top of my breasts. I am devastated that I have ruined my body. People keep saying, at least you look good IN clothes, and that just infuriates me more because I am 22 and this is the time of my life that I am supposed to look good OUT of my clothes too, before the baby stretch marks and aging takes it's toll. If I only cared how I looked IN clothes, the padded bras would've been just fine.
I am more self-concious now than I ever was before surgery and it's making me ill to my stomach whenever I think about it. During sex, my breasts were the one part of my body that didn't make me want to cover up, they were just a bit small. Now, they are marred with gross scars and stretch marks and I can't stand to have my husband see them. I am also pretty sure I am bottoming out on my left implant. I had held out hope that if I received smaller implants in the future, I'd love my investment, but now my breasts are ruined for life no matter what I do to them. I have been using bio-oil and Scar Esthetique religiously, to no avail.
I have a post-op appointment today, so we will see what the doctor says, but we have absolutely no way to fund a revision. I hate that what supposed to be the happiest, most exciting part of my life right now has turned into my greatest stressor and regret.
What a waste of time! I went to my post-op, got...
29 May 2012
2 months post
What a waste of time! I went to my post-op, got into a room right away and I showed one of the office girls, not sure if they're nurses or what, how my breasts looked and when I flexed my pecs to show her the double bubble look, she literally gasped out loud.
Then in came the doctor after a bit of a wait, and he was immediately in schmooze mode. I felt like I was dealing with a used car salesman. He glossed over everything, didn't fully address anything, and said, as always, to be patient and wait until they "settled more. He then said my scars were red and dark because of my skin tone, which I KNEW that I scar poorly before the damned procedure... which is why I had originally requested IMF incision and he adamantly disagreed and pushed for me to change my mind! Now exactly what I was afraid would happen has, and I'm left with uneven dark scars. His solution to that: he can cut me back open an make them thinner. Just F$#%! If he has listened to my wishes to begin with, there would be no friggin need for me to go back under the knife! I'm a mess.
My husband is on his way home from work, thank god. I have a ton or stuff to get done before a trip we leave on in 2 days and I'm sitting here, a big pile of sobby, snotty sniffles >:*( Never in a million years thought that I would be writing one of "those reviews" that I kinda ignored pre-surgery, assuming that it would never happen to me.
Well, I'm back ladies! I took some time off the...
2 Jan 2013
10 months post
Well, I'm back ladies! I took some time off the site after a few of my posts here weren't received the greatest by my doctor or his office. I want to clarify that it was NEVER my intention to ruin his reputation or put his practice in jeopardy. He is obviously a highly-skilled surgeon. I was just highly emotional about my results and feeling unheard. I should've never compared my doctor to a used-car salesman, as he is in no way a scheming person. It was written in haste while under great emotional instability and I apologize for painting his character in such a poor light.
Having said that, I will be trying to schedule a revision within the next few months. After my last consultation this past summer, I left the office in tears after being confronted about the unfair statements I made about my doctor here. He had every right to be unhappy with me, though at the time I was blinded by my disgust in my results and very upset to be arguing over my review here. Soon after, my husband and I moved 2,000 miles away without having time to reschedule a consultation or follow up surgery.
Now, 9 months later, I agree with my doctor's comments that the implants felt and looked (and have felt from 3 months out) very natural and real. You cannot even find the implant when squeezing. However, I feel they are still too large and have drooped significantly since my last consultation, giving a very matronly, heavy look and falling into my armpits when I lay down. They resemble that of a woman twice my age who has had children which may be attributed to a recent weight loss of 10 lbs. My scars have healed very wide as well. Because of this, I am hoping to return to San Diego for either a full revision or at least a scar revision.
After more research, I am considering replacing my 450/475cc silicone mod plus with 350/375cc or even 325/350cc high profiles. I hope to achieve great upper pole fulness with less width and heaviness on the sides. I'd like the perky, athletic look without being overly fake or round. With the amount they have sagged, I am worried I made need a lift, but hopefully internal sutures can correct whatever is going on in there. When I flex my pectorals, there is a visual abnormality in my left breast that is quite unattractive, but I'm not sure if this can even be fixed or not.
I still say to go with your own gut in scar placement and implant size. Only you know your body. I am trying to be positive and forward in this new year. Hopefully I'll have good news and lighter, younger boobies to share soon!
Almost 2 Years Post-Op
A lot has happened since my surgery in my life in general. We moved twice, and one of those moves landed us in Hawaii :)
I am still rather unhappy with the look of my breasts, unclothed, though I have come to terms with the size of them. I still feel they are a little large and matronly, but every single person I've revealed my surgery too was completely shocked that they were fake. I always hear how natural they look and everyone just thinks I was born busty, which is fabulous.
I am currently planning and saving fora revision. I am bottoming out on the left and have started having immense pain at night while laying down and during the day if I don't have a hearty underwire holding the breast up. I'm hoping that during the revision, the unattractive bumpy scars can be resolved as well and possibly an internal bra suture will be performed to keep the girls up (and fix the bottoming out). I am worried I will lose the natural look to them, but part of the reason I believe they look natural is that they are a bit saggy :/
Having said that, I know my life here would've been completely different so far had I not doen the augmentation. Living in the land of bikinis would've been torture for my small-breasted self and I have been confident in my breast-revealing clothing/swimwear here. I am still extremely self-concious while nude in front of my husband however. I did a boudoir photo shoot for him (he is in the military and currently deployed) and extensively photoshopped my breast area and scars to fix the imperfections. After spending $7K on them, this makes me sad. They are almost paid off though :)
Living so far away from my original surgery location is proving to be the big hang up on seeking a revision. I have sent in photos and a description to Dr. Pousti's office and am awaiting his opinion and directions as to what he feels needs to be done. But it is recommended on his page that for fly-in surgeries, a week long stay is done before returning home. I am trying to figure out where/when/how I would do this.
I am hoping the tension between myself and Dr.Pousti's office has faded with time and we're able to move past the high-running emotions of my last visit. I don't trust anyone on the island to do the revision, and I feel that Pousti has the best revision before/afters of any surgeon I've researched still.
For now I am just avoiding looking in the mirror and not focusing on my breasts out of clothing. I don't have time to be anything but positive this year as I live through my first long military deployment on an island far away from family and friends. A possible revision is giving me something to hope for though.
Learning to live with it
Well it's been I don't even know how many years since my surgery, but I'm finally at the point where I'm not in tears every time I see myself in the mirror. I have pain in my left breast at night when I lay in my side and the bottoming out, weird muscle thing seems more pronounced. The scar in my right breast is still very wide. But I look good in clothes and I guess that will have to be enough. People have no idea my breasts are fake and are shocked when I tell them, I've even had two friends ask what was used in my surgery as far as implants and technique. Now, none of these people have seen the nipple or muscular deformity, but it's nice to hear they look nice when covered.
If I think too hard about it, I still get sick to my stomach that we paid so much and I am ashamed of my naked body, but my husband has been amazing and never made me feel like anything less than beautiful. Bottom line though is at I ruined my nipples and they will never look the same. I live in Hawaii now and after much research have decided I would never let any of the doctors here do a revision, so I'm stuck until we move back to the mainland at least. On the plus side, the surgery is almost paid off.
Some photo updates in better lighting without flexing
I realized all of my images are of me flexing my muscular deformity, so here's a shot of me laying down from a boudoir session I did for my husband last year. I photoshopped my nipple scars off... so there is that lol