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Breaking Ties
I finally threw away the cute shoes and clothes I was waiting to wear when my face came back. At 5 years, 9 months, and 16 days, I don’t think it’s ever coming back.
Goodbye, shoes. Goodbye, skirts. Goodbye, face. :(
Goodbye, shoes. Goodbye, skirts. Goodbye, face. :(
Going on six years- no change
This is an update. I’m sad to relay that there is no change in the goo formations. I realize this is going to be very hard news for anyone like me who, in the early days, was looking for hope.
One thing I can say is that how I see myself and the world has changed. When you’re no longer able to look in a mirror and smile, and find new reasons to smile that have nothing to do with appearance. That doesn’t mean I forgive the idiot injector who abused my face: she had no right to take such liberties, drawing asymmetrical abstract art on my perfectly good face. I’ll never forgive that, but that’s hers to live with. Hopefully she never forgets what she did, since having to see myself in the mirror, however briefly each day, I don’t have the luxury of forgetting.
But life goes on and some day we all die. Some lucky embalmer will wonder why I died pre-embalmed. He’ll get a real deal that day, making his full wages, out back smoking a cigarette since some mortician wanna-be pumped my face full of cemented goo way back in 2013.
I’m sorry I can’t offer more hope for those looking for physical improvement/ degenerative filler during their earthly life, but I can honestly say that the hell I’ve been through has changed me so profoundly that I know I’d be living some other life had this not happened. Maybe that life would have been better, but I love my life just as it is. (Except my face) I no longer think about it 24/7, as I did for the first however many years of it, but I do think about it many times per day. If it’s still on my mind 24/7, it’s not as loud. How’s that?
If I can live through this, anyone can. I’ve never been so sad for so long in my life. But I’m not sad now. Now it just “is”. It’s still awful, but I’m living again. Differently than before and certainly not how I’d ever intended, but living.
Keep going.
One thing I can say is that how I see myself and the world has changed. When you’re no longer able to look in a mirror and smile, and find new reasons to smile that have nothing to do with appearance. That doesn’t mean I forgive the idiot injector who abused my face: she had no right to take such liberties, drawing asymmetrical abstract art on my perfectly good face. I’ll never forgive that, but that’s hers to live with. Hopefully she never forgets what she did, since having to see myself in the mirror, however briefly each day, I don’t have the luxury of forgetting.
But life goes on and some day we all die. Some lucky embalmer will wonder why I died pre-embalmed. He’ll get a real deal that day, making his full wages, out back smoking a cigarette since some mortician wanna-be pumped my face full of cemented goo way back in 2013.
I’m sorry I can’t offer more hope for those looking for physical improvement/ degenerative filler during their earthly life, but I can honestly say that the hell I’ve been through has changed me so profoundly that I know I’d be living some other life had this not happened. Maybe that life would have been better, but I love my life just as it is. (Except my face) I no longer think about it 24/7, as I did for the first however many years of it, but I do think about it many times per day. If it’s still on my mind 24/7, it’s not as loud. How’s that?
If I can live through this, anyone can. I’ve never been so sad for so long in my life. But I’m not sad now. Now it just “is”. It’s still awful, but I’m living again. Differently than before and certainly not how I’d ever intended, but living.
Keep going.
This is filler
This is what filler does when injected in what my friend and I refer to as The Pattern. We both received this pattern, which aged us as it ages celebs who get same filler pattern. I hate it and so does my friend. WE WERE NOT WARNED that our faces would be aged or that we'd have huge lumps next to our mouths. Here is Mary Kate Olsen and Katie Holmes with The Pattern. Mine has still not gone down. It will be 3 years on October 8.