5'8, 120lbs, 34AA - 450cc HP to C/D after breastfeeding (Photo Update)

I've always had small breasts - big A or small B depending on the bra - and was OK with it. I mean - I had moments in my life where I wished I had larger breasts, but I came to terms with this was my body and I had nice eyes and a fun laugh and just had to be OK that breasts would never be my great feature.

Fast forward - I have 2 children in a span of 3 years with my husband. I breastfed both of them - and my breasts went to large C's/small D's at one point - while I was breastfeeding. The only place I GOT stretch marks were on my breasts - that is how quickly/big they grew. Well, after breastfeeding my oldest - my breasts returned to their pre-baby size a bit "saggier" as the skin had stretched but there. After finishing breast feeding number 2 - my breasts just disappeared. It was like someone came in the middle of the night and sucked them empty with a straw - I was left with two triangles and some folded nipples.

For the first time I was honestly uncomfortable and unhappy with how I looked. I did not have any breasts at all - and even with a loving husband - I just did not feel womanly anymore.

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This is what sent me on my search for a PS. I did a few consultations and liked everyone I met - as they seemed to understand what had happened and my goals. But - I wanted to see what different doctors would recommend. I was told by everyone I should go silicone and under the muscle based upon my limited breast tissue. Size seemed to vary upon who I talked to. I want to be a C - no bigger - I guess I want to be what I was with some upgrade - but not large breasted. When I met my last PS for a consult I just instantly liked him - I don't know - I guess you just sometimes feel that you like this person, are confident in them, and want this person to do your surgery - and that is how I felt about Dr. Tattelbaum.

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So - I've been back and forth to the PS office now 3 times for sizing. They are so friendly there - the doctor is wonderful and always welcoming - I just can't decide. My PS recommends either 371 moderate profiles or 450 high profiles based on their width, my height, and my shape. He personally thinks I should do the 450 ...but I just can't get over the number...it's seems so big...and I'm terrified of becoming some huge breasted person. It's not that its bad - but it's not me...and I'm not even telling anyone at work that I'm having this surgery. I guess I figured I would just wear zip-up jackets and baggy sweaters for awhile...and I only want to be maybe a cup bigger then the current padded bras I'm wearing....so a small to mid C.

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Ok - back again - 2 days before surgery for sizing. I'm so so torn. I do not want to end up too big - but everyone keeps saying they are leaning towards the 450s as they think they look better on me. This time I spoke with the nurse there to see what her opinion was. I tried on the sizers again in the mirror and felt the 450s looked too big with my clothing but she seemed to think it was because I just was not used to seeing myself this way...not because they looked too big. I tried on multiple shirts...even the 370s were looking big. My own instinct is to go with the smaller implants - as I think I will be more upset about ending up too big then too small... BUT - everyone else - dr., nurse, hubby - seem to think the 450s are the better choice. I trust the PS more then I do my own opinion because I feel like he does this ALL the time. I just wish I could know for sure what size my breasts will be after surgery. It's such a hard thing to make decisions about something where there is not definite outcome.

Decisions decisions...