Hello, Puberty? You Coming? - Little Rock, AR

Nearly every woman in my family has large breasts. I grew up seeing my mother naked pretty regularly (a house full of all girls for a loooong time) and in my head it made perfect sense that I would grow up to have large breasts. I had no grand illusions of perkiness, just C cups or greater by the time I was 20. Puberty came and went, and I was left with some incredibly uneven A's. So I waited. Surely they'd grow when I got pregnant. Nope. Surely they'd grow when I began to breastfeed. Nope, never even had that cool moment of engorgement where I was promised "pornstar tits" by blogs like Pregnant Chicken. I got nothin'.

I'm tired of nothing, and I'm tired of waiting. So I decided on implants.

After a lot of searching around and reading reviews I landed on Dr. Talbert in Little Rock, Ar. I really admired his work, especially when compared to the other galleries I'd seen from doctors closer to me. They all seemed to produce women with Barbie chests, and the idea of that was terrifying.

After a very long 4 hour drive, I managed to take a wrong road (Old Kanis vs. New Kanis), get lost in the clinic, locked in a stairwell, and made it to my appointment with 4 minutes to spare. All of which ultimately ended with him telling me that I needed a breast lift first. -_-

Everyone I spoke to in the clinic was really nice (even the lady who directed me to the terrifying stairwell with doors that lock behind you and require a code to open), and I made my appointment for surgery before I left. I hated to schedule 4 weeks away, but my job require at least 3 weeks notice, and the next available Friday was October 14th. So we'll see how it goes!

In my original post I forgot to highlight my main area of concern. Asymmetry and sag sucks, I won't lie I'd probably be able to tolerate my breasts if it wasn't for Righty. She has some serious troubles. Dr. Talbert plans not only to raise my breasts, but spread my tissue more evenly from Lefty to Righty.

Because two of my fellow associates are going on vacation, I thought it was best to reschedule surgery until after they get back. I'd hate to be left alone and accidentally hurt myself. Only had to push it off by another two weeks.

Last night my aunt (designated driver), and I drove a good 3 hours to bring us within 30 minutes of the surgical center. I was so nervous I barely slept, but when 4:30 a.m. came along I was ready in less than 20 minutes. We drove the remaining half hour to Baptist Health and checked in. It was maybe an hour before I was rolled into the OR. Before that I met with Talbert and he drew some lines. I really, really appreciate how silently he conducts himself. I have sometimes crippling anxiety, and talking to people is really the bane of my existence. So the tiny handful of words we shared was really such a blessing. I know others on have commented on his lack of bedside manner, but he might be one my favorite doctors I've ever had.

I said in a previous post/comment that I was basically just leaving it in his hands, and from what I can see he did a fantastic job. My breasts are tiny, but incredibly even. I've never seen them in such a positive light. It's hard to tell because of the tape, but it looks like my areolas might have been made smaller as well. I hope so, though I don't mind either way. (Have I mentioned I'm the easiest patient in the world? For reals, my dentist gave me a gold star last week for "being such a trooper.")

The pain after the procedure was almost mind numbing. My nurse asked me to rate my pain, and I gave it a pretty accurate seven. After she gave me some pain medication I moved it to a 4. What I meant was a 6, but you know, drugs are hard. So I left in some pretty moderate pain, but once I got my prescriptions filled I dosed up properly and now I feel tender, but comfortable.

I'll update as they start getting a little more photogenic. I look forward to healing and getting implants next year.

So I'm officially 1 day post-op and things really seem great. I feel like I've done a million push-ups, and I've got stinging every little bit, overall I feel terrific. I took my first shower and it went way better than I thought it would. I also took some time to observe my breasts a bit more, and I definitely think he reduced my areolas. My right nipple is numb which is a strange feeling, and my left one seems a little overly sensitive. Quirky. I'm noticing that my pain pills aren't quite covering the 4 hour gap between doses, so that sucks, but it's probably my fault for overexerting myself (trying to put my coffee cup in the floor, moving my cat around). God I can't wait to get some implants behind them.

Today I had a call from Dr. Talbert's office to check in, and I brought up my concerns that my breasts were developing some itchy, red patches above the steri-strips. I wasn't super concerned that it might be infection since it wasn't any warmer than the rest of my skin and I didn't have a fever. The nurse agreed, saying it was a bit early for infection to have set in anyway. She suggested it might be a small allergic reaction to the strips. So I'm just going to keep taking my antibiotics and hoping we're both right. I forgot to mention that the pain pills they prescribed me make me itch like a crazy person. I had to take them once before for my wisdom teeth with the same results, so I know its definitely the pills.

So I'm happy to say that benadryl knocked my itching down quite a few notches and got rid of the redness above my steri-strips. Now my only noteworthy change is bruising. I noticed it yesterday, but today it's really come forward :p I think it's more noticeable because my breasts are so small. What would be a small bruise on a larger breast, pretty much covers the majority of what I've got >.<

I've started running low on pain pills, so now I'm trying to both stretch them out and wean myself off of them before I have to stop cold turkey. I stretched out one of my doses this morning to 6 hours instead of 4 and ended up curled up in bed shaking and nauseated. So priority #1 is detox* as gently as possible before I have to go back to work on Friday. Life is hard.

*And by "detox" I mean have some extra tea and self-medicate with cookies in-between naps/half-pills.

I called into work today.
So I had this rough looking bruise on my right nipple, but my doctor didn't seem concerned. Today I pulled off my paper tape (which deserves it's own post someday) and took half of my areola with it. I called the office and got referred to the on call doctor (yay saturday!) and was told to just cover it in neosporin and stop using tape on it. Which is pretty common sense I guess, but I've reverted to being a completely helpless child at this point and need someone to guide me through every step of this.

On a more positive note, I've had feeling in both nipples since day 3 or so, so I'm not legitimately worried about LOSING it, more just...I don't know. I don't like this....

I've used neosporin maybe 20 times in my life. I do not fully understand it's application. For what it's worth, my 3 year-old swears by it though.

After the on-call doctor told me to slather myself in antibiotic ointment I assumed I would be ok. I mean, he's a DOCTOR. Right? Nah. Just nah. Like that's the only word that properly conveys how done I am with ever taking someone else's advice on wound care again. (probably)

I check it the next morning and was HORRIFIED to find what was becoming of my areola. It was official, my bruise was not a bruise. It was dead. Just dead. Stringy bits of black greeted me in the mirror and I almost lost it right there at the sink. I am not made for such atrocities. I like a nice cup of coffee in the morning, maybe followed by a bowl of overly sweet cereal. I like to just sit and absorb the morning, and make peace with the fact that after a (far too short) 3-hour wake-up period, I will soon be forced to walk into work. I do NOT like coming face to face with rotting flesh whose soul creator was my own vanity.

...Got a little lost there for a second...

So my flesh is dying, and I'm dying inside. But after a very woozy couple minutes, I realize that the most reasonable step is to remove the dead/dying tissue. I debrided my own breast, and damn I feel like a champ. So I used the tweezers out of my first aid kit to remove as much as I could without straight up digging into my areola. It looked way happier. Oh? But what was that strange white pocket? Pus? Nope. Viable flesh? Maybe. The next morning proved it to be otherwise as it's stringy existence was extinguished in a gentle, but furious, alcohol-based scrubbing.

And now I'm here, fixing to coat my breast in honey and tea tree oil, hoping for a better tomorrow.

It's been an interesting 2 weeks as I waited to see if my areola was going to heal. I'm a little hurt that my surgeon didn't call me to follow up, but I guess there's a chance that the hussy manning the weekend calls didn't actually write anything down. I could have always called him during the week, but I'm really, really bad at phone calls.

I spent the first week and a half keeping it covered in a mixture of honey and tea tree oil with a non-stick bandage, and only in the last two days started giving a it a dry period (mostly out of laziness). It scabbed today and I'm done thinking about it. So yay!

All of my sutures are out. I had my aunt take them out this time last week. It seemed easier than wandering into a random clinic and asking someone to remove stuff from my bare breasts. I don't care for doctors, strangers, clinics, or phone calls. I'm both the easiest and worst patient ever.

As per my surgeons orders I've been faithfully covering my incisions with paper tape everyday (except for my wounded areola). I ran out of my normal rolls a few days ago and started using the ones provided in my numerous first aid kits. I straight up own 3 1/2. I have no idea why. Anyway, the paper tape in my kits is definitely not on par with what I had before. After 2 days I started to develop a lot of irritation, so today I'm tape free until I pick some up at work tonight. In lieu of tape I started using a scar cream for last night and this morning, I figured it's better than nothing, but I really prefer the support the tape gives.

My swelling has gone down, and now my breasts look smaller and it's making me grumpy. I could really use those implants :p

Today is 6 weeks post op, and I'm getting more and more used to my lift. I go back Monday for my check-in, and besides some small oopsie moments everything has gone really well.

I had an internal suture poking out for a couple weeks, but it's dissolved and gone. I just recently over did it at work and had a small part of one of my incisions open up, but it seems fine now as well.
More and more, I'm noticing that my areola is only round when my nipple is soft. When it gets hard it goes all wonky :p

My defective nipple is 100% better, and I am so impatient for my implants :p

I had my consultation for implants last Monday. I plan to hit somewhere in the C range, but after trying on the sizers, I'm still really unsure. It looked so much like I was just stuffing an oversized bra. I know that the sizers don't give the most accurate reflection of what I'll look like, but I don't really know what else to try. I just want to snap my fingers and have been born well endowed. Hell, just endowed period.

Before I left the consultation I think we tentatively settled on 350-400 cc's, but I had a mini freak out it the car afterwards because they looked too big. I couldn't see my toes! The next day I had another freak out because WHAT IF THEY'RE TOO PERKY! I hate to sound crass, but I just want some soft, pillowy milkmaid tits. I want to look like a mom, like someone might refer to me as "madam," like someone to hug when you're sad. I want something to have to "reign in" at work, something that makes me look like a lady instead of an aspiring MILF. Gah! It's so hard trying to decide a size on something I've never had. So many women can make a decision based on comparisons to when their milk came in, but I don't even have the luxury of that. I'm working blind here and it's frustrating.

Surgery was initially set for Feb 1, but a financially hiccup had me push it off until May. Despite my uncertainty above, I'm still really excited. Dr. Talbert is just the best doctor I've ever been to. He's confident and matter of fact, and very direct. He basically walked in and said "Here's the implant were going to use, it's going under the muscle. What size?" And while I get that other women want to hem and haw over textures, profiles, materials, and placement - I. Do. Not. So I greatly appreciate his decision making. This is basically how I'd be if I ever hired someone to build my house. "Here's my money, I want it built in this general area, with this many bathrooms. Use your best judgement. Make it happen." Random, I know, but a decent enough analogy.

It's been nearly a year since my lift, and I can't deny there were times I wondered if I had made a terrible, expensive mistake. This past month marks the point that I've officially become satisfied with my results. I'm even contemplating forgoing the implants.