Tummy Tuck Part 1: PO day 21 - new pics AND new review started!

Hi girls. I have been lurking for a few weeks now, and have learned so much from these reviews. I am so grateful to you for all the advice, thoughts, fears, joys, and tips you have given. I am certain I have learned more here than by researching or speaking to my doctor! I have many posts and lots to say, so this one will just be an introduction. I was an obese teenager, having a 44 inch waist and weighing 252 lbs at 5'6" by the time I was 16. Between the ages of 19-21 I lost 115 lbs, and have kept it off (mostly...babies don't count, right?) for the last 12 years. I am 32 years old, have 2 children who are 7 and 5, and am done having babies. My pregnancies did not add any new stretch marks or loose skin to my frame that wasn't already there. I developed a minor diastasis after my second pregnancy that I closed through proper exercise, though there is still a 2 finger gap at my belly button, and a 1.5 finger gap below my navel. I am an ultramarathon runner (races longer than 26.2 miles - up to 100 miles or more), backpacker, mountaineer, and yogi. I lift weights, speed walk and bike occasionally. I am very strong and healthy. I am 5'7" tall and weigh 137 lbs. Any of my extra weight is concentrated in the torso area, and always has been.

I began gaining weight at 8 years old, and by that time already had an overhanging stomach. I literally cannot ever remember a time when i could see my belly button. I have always been embarrassed of the extra flesh on my stomach, but more so the effects on my lifestyle are what hurt. I cannot sit down without pulling my shirt out of my skin rolls. I cannot wear certain fabrics. I have to shop for pants at 10 different stores to find something I can tuck my skin into. When I run, my belly skin chafes, blisters or bleeds. When I roll over in bed a pile of flesh is lying beside me. Though my husband has never complained, seeing my own body is a turnoff during intimacy. This surgery for me is not really about the appearance, as much as it is about the functionality of my abdomen, and the way it has hindered or touched every aspect of my life. I have wanted this for so long, and now is the time because fate intervened and I developed a nasty little hernia. It is inguinal, which is rare for women. It is located in the groin, close to my thigh. This cannot be repaired laproscopically, and I must have an incision and anesthesia.

What has held me back all these years is the same thing that holds you back - a sense of selfishness, wasting the money on something "frivolous", being put under anesthesia and cut in half. But now that I need the hernia repair, I have decided to do this once and for all. My first consult was yesterday, Dec 5th, and my surgery is scheduled for December 27th. I have so much more to say including specifics about my surgery, why I am refusing muscle repair, what this means for me as an athlete, and more, but I'll let you chew on this and post more again in the coming days. Thanks for listening.

I thought I'd tell you a bit about my expected procedure. Unfortunately it is impossible for me to locate a doctor in my area who is able to repair my hernia and give me abdominoplasty. Inguinal hernias have a high recurrence rate because the surrounding tissue is so weak. I was recommended to a general surgeon who's recurrence rate for this hernia is one half of one percent. After visiting with him I learned that his bedside manner is pretty poor (what women doesn't have the experience of a doctor avoiding eye contact and talking down to you? I suppose it has happened in more doctor offices than I care to think about.). But the reality is - he doesn't have to be nice to me if he is going to do a good job. The surgery usually takes about 45 minutes and the hernia is fixed with a small piece of mesh. He does not happen to be in the same healthcare network as my PS, but there is one hospital that they both work out of in common, so it was determined I would go there. He isn't "thrilled" about doing the procedures together - mainly due to the increased risk of infection and the thought of having drains placed anywhere near a new piece of mesh, but agrees that it makes logical sense from a recovery standpoint to do the surgeries together. As long as I understand the increased risks, he is fine with working with Dr. Langstein.

I have known I wanted Dr. Langstein for years, and already knew that I wouldn't be bothering with multiple consults. Dr. L has 27 years experience as a PS, is the head of the cosmetic surgery department at one of the best teaching hospitals in the country, and is world recognized for his skills as a microvascular surgeon. I have watched him on a few episodes of the PBS series, Second Opinion, and was specifically blown away by his skills recreating a breast from virtually thin air with donor tissue - it had symmetry, realism and balance. The doctors on the show pointed out that he was an incredible engineer and artist, and I have to agree. If he could make a natural looking breast out of belly and labia skin with stitching so fine it could barely be seen, that looks nearly identical to it's neighboring untouched breast - then he can certainly pull my stomach tighter.

I went to see him for the first time on Dec. 5th. He was very kind and pleasant, but as expected in a busy practice - busy. He didn't spend much time chit chatting, but I already knew what I wanted and have educated myself thoroughly, so have no major questions. He looked at my belly and declared that I could get a "great result" and that this would be "easy", not in an arrogant way at all - he just seemed to be confident and comfortable. He questioned me regarding my reasons for wanting no muscle repair and was satisfied with my answers and happily obliged. He did not say I would need liposuction or anything else to get a nice appearance. Because of all this he said the surgery would only take 1.5 hours on his part. In his 27 years he has NEVER done these 2 surgeries at the same time, but felt okay if Dr. W was okay too. Due to the hernia repair - I need an overnight in the hospital, and much of the facility fees and anesthesiology fees will be billed to the insurance company. My total out of pocket price for everything came back as $5182, and without hesitation I booked the surgery.

Nothing left now but the crying! In less than three weeks, my "barnacle" will be gone. So blessed.

So I am farting around at the store today, deciding what to do with a gift card and coupon, and I remember my PS saying I should bring in a 2 piece (yeah right!) or a pair of panties to be marked in. But I am so cheap that I have no underwear that I really like, nor that are representative of the scar I want. I definitely do not want a straight scar, but one that curves up to follow the contour of my hips. But because I have a saggy ass, I always wear hipsters....which are usually very straight across the top. Anyhow, I am in the store staring at the wall of panties and totally paralyzed by the choices and the overwhelming task of choosing a garment that will dictate the shape of a scar I will have for the rest of my life. What sort of macabre game is this? The other women must have thought I was nuts, I am sure I had a look of fright and hopelessness on my face.

After 20 minutes, I finally uncover 2 pairs of hipsters that have a seam in the center waist and angle slightly upward toward the hip, like a shallow V. I grab them after agonizing over color..why ? Who will see them but you, my PS and my husband? Crazy! Then I make the unfortunate mistake of wandering over to the body shapers...omg...what? What do I need? How big should it be? One that goes over my butt and hips, one with a crotch or no, one that is like a tank top? What about this silly looking tube slip, can I jam that down over my torso? What brand? Boning or no boning? No doubt about it..these are first world problems! Luckily when I tried my new panties, they were exactly right...and I can wait to figure out the binder....I still have 3 weeks. Omg, 3 weeks!