Excitement, Anxiety and Fear, Oh My! - Vancouver, BC

19 days until my big day! I have now lost 86lbs. I had my pre op last week. I wasn't nervous until that day, then the panic came in. Though seeing my PS totally calmed me down, while we were talking anyway. :) Found out I will only have my breast drains over night in the hospital but will go home with tummy tuck drains for 5 days. My surgeon just kept saying "Wow. You have got to be so proud. This surgery is going to make such a difference. Wow. Yeah. This is going to be great. You must be so proud." she just kept saying it was going to be so great and she is so excited for me. I think having her rooting me on in this process means so much, almost feels like she's looking forward to getting the best results as much as I am. I'm happy going with her so far. I can't wait to get into that recovery room. Sort of.

I'm afraid of waking up in pain. Feeling like my body was torn apart. Also afraid because my surgeon prescribed me a self injection anticoagulant because she doesn't expect me to be able to be up and about the first 5 days. THANK GOODNESS. That was my other fear, having been on birth control 3 years non stop blood clots are a reality, so being able to move enough so I don't get any blood clots. Size...I'm not worried. I feel like she gets what I want. We didn't even talk about it at my most recent appointment. Of course I'll be reminding her as she's marking me up. The only thing I forgot to ask about is my belly button. I can ask when she's marking me too. Seems silly to call her up just to ask what my belly button will look like. LOL.

In other news, I have lost my cord to upload pictures. So I'm still 5"7(and a half but who's counting), medium build. 36J+. 35" ribs and high waist. 42" at the biggest part of my stomach. My stomach is pretty much all sagging skin. Not ok at 25 years old. Not going to happen again!

A bit more about my weight gain history, I didn't touch on it. I am having a Tummy tuck done at the same time and really don't want to do two reviews and it's a shame there isn't an area to review both because it is commonly done together. Anyway, so all my life, I'm been a medium boned girl, I would say you would probably call it an athletic build. Never scrawny but never chubby, solid and girly. That all changed in grades 11 and 12 (16/17 years old). I was starting to come to terms with the fact that I lived in an abusive home. I didn't want to grow up and be a broken adult, I didn't want people to take pity on me, I wasn't going to be a product of my beginnings. So I started really trying to be my own therapist and I google researched, blogged, read stories, watched shows and spoke with friends and adults about my experiences in childhood. I definitely lived with stress a lot of it and the weight started packing on. It wasn't too bad initially I became chubby.

At the beginning of my grade 12 year one of those adults I had spoken to called child services. The stress of interviews, depression, fear and coping with my family ignoring CPS's suggestions feeling fairly more abandoned (no bruises, they can't come into the home, only can refer to a counsellor). At that point I got up to my heaviest, 230lbs from stress (I am not an emotional eater, I actually stop eating when stressed or upset and I wasn't eating a lot at this point in my life, which is why I say it was stress). 230lbs, never gained or lost and that is where I stayed from 2005 until Jan 2nd 2012. I finally decided to do something about it because obviously I was active enough to not gain/burn the calories I ate but wasn't eating low calories to lose the weight in the first place. So I started weight watchers. Lost 65lbs in the first 6 months and then basically just tried to maintain my weight up to date but slowly lost another 21lbs. Now, I feel like I just need to tone my muscles in my back, which will be much easier without 36J+ boobs.

That's my story on why I'm getting a Tummy Tuck. Getting very excited.

Wow! As of December 1st I'm on my last pack of birth control, my last bra (I always wear one at a time otherwise I end up having them broken all at the same time), this is the month I start lowering my bills for January as much as I can, start tying up loose ends. Getting nervous and excited but as I sit here my back is increasingly stiffening and creating sharp pains I'm reminded that this is all going to be worth the journey. This is also my last month of normal eating, I start the "healing diet" Jan 1st!!

I have now purchased my cooler (that will hold my waters, milk to go and snacks--while I'm home alone) that will sit beside my recliner that I will sleep in for the first few weeks and my digital thermometer. Still have lots to pick up, I have decided on a solution for my cat, one of those wrap around lap breast feeding pillows! They're about $20. My cat hates obstacles and uneven sleeping spots, so even when I'm sleeping she'll avoid my incisions from the TT because of that pillow. My cousin also just announced a new bundle of joy will be joining us a few months after my surgery so I'll be able to pass it on, I feel it's less of a wasted purchase because of that little bundle.

To the ladies just starting this journey, you feel it's so far away but you have no idea how fast this all happens, I started my BR journey over a year ago, saw different PS's finally settled on one in June, added lipo to shape my breasts and a tummy tuck and now I'm 2 months and 2 days away from my surgery. December is my busiest time of year and then January I work 3 weeks, cook freezable meals and clean for a week and the day after Superbowl Sunday I go in for the big show!

Hello!!

Short bit about me. I guess let's start at the very beginning. It all started when I was in grade 3 and I got my first A cup bra, every year after that I grew and grew. Grade 3: A. Grade 4: B. I was a D come 13 years old and today at 25 years old I'm a 36 J, however, I think a 34K would probably fit better but I can't find K cups in my city.

I have always had a "bad back", usually because I have always been an active person, I love to walk and walk everywhere and I'm usually working in places where I'm on my feet all day. So, I was re-ended last year just before my 24th birthday. This catapulted my back pain into a whole new category, headaches and back pain escalated. My doctor said it would have to just phase itself out but it got me thinking, maybe I should look into a breast reduction. I looked up "reasons you should get a breast reduction" and there were so many things that I never knew were connected to my breasts being so large.

I promptly made an appointment with my general practitioner and told her let's look into it. I soon found out my government thinks it's necessary and pay for it in full. WOOHOO!!! Weight off my shoulders! I ended up seeing a surgeon I did not like, so I made an appointment to see one of the most sought after in my city, 5 months later we had an appointment, I said "Let's do it!" and she said "I already put you on the wait list." I walked out dazed, confused and super excited. I added side lipo so that I don't get that side boob staying there, I'm ready to go.

I already have shopping lists for supplies, food that helps healing, tips on sleeping, tips on milesones. I'm feeling really ready. In the process I lost 75lbs, this lead to me adding a tummy tuck to my list of "to dos" for my surgeon. It's terrifying, a long road but I'm incredibly excited and scared all at the same time.