So Ready to Do This!!! Want to Be Free, Light and Natural! - Portland, Oregon

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A HUGE thank you to all of the brave women who...

A HUGE thank you to all of the brave women who have shared their stories on this site. Your reviews have helped me to actively move forward with getting my implants removed, even though I've been thinking about it for years.

I got my 350cc implants (under the muscle) 6 years ago right after I had my second child. I had my kids right in a row, so I went from being pregnant to nursing, to being pregnant again, to nursing again. I was an A cup, but with pregnancy/nursing, I grew to a beautiful B. I loved my breasts this size. Once I weaned my second son, for the first time in 2 years, I saw my little breasts again, and was unhappy. I thought breast implants were the answer and had the procedure done despite everyone around me telling me not to and that I didn't need it (sister, friends, husband). I thought I knew better. I asked for a "big B" and said I wanted to look as natural as possible. I ended up with 350 High Profile Saline implants and the change was dramatic. I am tall and thin, but had these perky and quite large (big C) breasts. I was embarrassed by them almost immediately, but thought I'd get used to it with time.

I am a fitness instructor and discovered right away, the awful feeling (and appearance) of when I would flex my pec muscles (in a push-up for example). My breasts would pull apart and distort. I absolutely hated the way this felt and was embarrassed by how it looked. The other thing that bothered me was, because I had high profile implants, they were spaced wider on my chest and I did not have much cleavage. It looked unnatural! Fake, like two baseballs under my shirt.

After about two years I did some research on ways to fix the problems, and I thought about explanting, but, at the time, I believed my results would be horrible, so I ended up having an implant exchange. My new doctor swapped saline for silicone and told me with a wider implant, I would have cleavage. He also cleaned up scar tissue saying my breasts would no longer distort with exercise. I now have 350cc (still under the muscle) moderate profile implants. Long story short, I still hate them. Yes, I have cleavage, but they look so WRONG on my body. They still distort, too!

I feel like a fool for thinking (not just once but TWICE!) that implants would be the answer. They are most certainly NOT. I am a healthy and active person and I have realized that these implants do not mesh with who I am. I want to be free of these weights that I have been carrying around on my chest. I want to be able to hug my children and not feel like there is something between us. I want to have the lean and sleek body that I was born with, and that my husband loved so much. But most of all, I want to move into the next chapter in my life...implant FREE!!!

I had my first consult today and it almost made me upset to the point of crying when both the nurse and the doctor spoke to me about exchanging the implants for a smaller size, or to go above the muscle instead. It took so much courage for me to get there and say (with all my heart), "I want these out, they are not for me" and to have the response be anything but supportive. It was disappointing. I have another consult (different PS) scheduled for next week.

My goal is to have the procedure done in late November or December... I am so ready for this!!! Looking forward to being on the other side!!!

Second Consult MUCH better!

I had my second consult this week and it was great! Dr. Gabriel and his staff were sensitive, caring and took their time with me (I think I was there for over an hour!). Dr. Gabriel also was meticulous about planning my surgery, as well as giving me hope for nice results. All in all, I felt cared for and supported, which was exactly what I wanted.

I hope to schedule my surgery for mid-December so that I can recover and take time off over the Christmas Holiday.

Thank you to everyone on this site for your kindness and support on my journey to being free of these implants! I feel a sense of relief having found such a wonderful surgeon, and now I am feeling even more ready to move forward.

Best wishes to all of you!!!

Explant Scheduled! December 19th!!!

I felt a huge sense of relief setting my appointment for explant this week. I also was able to secure about 2 weeks off work to heal and recover. It will be December 19th!! I know it's about a month and a 1/2 away, but I am hoping that time flies until then.

I feel so happy that I have gotten through the initial steps of having consults, finding the right surgeon, and setting a date. To me, those were the most difficult, not to mention, telling my husband about how I have been feeling and that I want to remove my implants. But now all this is done, I am feeling this huge sense of relief...and all I have to do now is wait and prepare myself emotionally and mentally.

I am sure I will start to get nervous as the date approaches (going under anesthesia, worrying about the results etc.), but I know in my heart that I am making the right decision. And I still feel so ready to move on past this chapter in my life.

Feeling hopeful today!!!

Worried about Muscle Distortion after Explant

Overall I have not had any major complications with my implants, but I do have horrible muscle distortion when my chest muscles contract. I have searched the internet for photos of other who experience this, but NONE compare to how awful and extreme mine is. My breast pull up and apart and invert at the nipple. It looks like a horror movie, no joke. And it happens with even the slightest movement, cutting vegetables (if I had a cleavage shirt on, you could see it happen if you were looking), opening doors, driving, pushing myself up from a lying position and, most obviously, with push-ups (where even wearing a tight tank top and sports bra an observer could see the deformed breast fold in half from the side). I am too embarrassed to even post a picture on's that bad.

But my question is to those who have had any kind of distortion with implants, if that continues to happen after removal. My doctor knows this is a concern of mine and is going to attempt a muscle repair (tacking down the muscle), but I am terrified that I will mess it up during recovery when I "accidentally" use my pectoral muscle (getting out of bed for example). And I am also worried that the repair just won't work, and I will be left deformed every time I move.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this??

Three More Days!!!

Well, I am starting to get nervous. My surgery is just three days away! I know that I am making the right choice, hands down, but honestly, I feel more nervous now than I did when I got the implants. I think it's because I don't know what the results will be and I am afraid my breasts could look bad or weird or misshapen. I am also getting nervous about anesthesia.....eeek. I am a worry wort :)

But I would not even be doing this if it weren't for the stories and support from all the women on this site. So thank you again for sharing and understanding like no one else can!!! Wish me luck!!!

Explant Done!!!! Yay!!!

Everything went very smoothly with my surgery today. I got to the surgery center at 6am, had surgery at 7:30 and then was on my way home before 11. Dr. Gabriel was wonderful and even though I was nervous, he made me feel at ease.

I have drains in and the doctor says they may need to stay in for a week or more. That isn't great, but I can manage. As soon as I started waking up after surgery, the first thing I did was touch my breasts (albeit it was over the bandage), and I immediately started to cry! I felt like ME again and it was an indescribable feeling of freedom.

I am definitely sore and have had to stay on pain meds throughout the day. The doctor sutured my muscle quite a bit and warned me that that would lead to more pain than normal. So, most of the day I have been resting in bed (next to my 8 year old who was sick today and home from school today :)

Just now I emptied my drains and took a quick peek at my breasts under the bandage and my first few thoughts are: whoa very very flat (even more than my pre-surgery body), but I am pleasantly surprised that they don't look like wrinkly empty balloons. I was expecting them to look more deflated with the skin having been stretched so much. I did notice that my left breast seems indented below the nipple, and I am not sure what that is about. My recheck is in the morning, so hopefully Dr. Gabriel can explain that.

I will post some pictures tomorrow. Thanks to all of you amazing women for your caring hearts and support!

3 Days Post-Op

Hello Ladies! I apologize to not have gotten an update on here sooner, but I have been resting a ton! I am doing well overall, just a bit constipated ugh! I stopped the pain pills today, so hopefully that helps. I don't have much pain, just feel tightly bound in this wrap, plus the awkwardness of the drains. The drains will come out tomorrow. I took a shower yesterday and snapped some pictures. The left breast in the photo has a definite indentation/puckering that has been there since surgery (both have it actually, but it's more distinct in the leftie). Does anyone know why this happens and how long it takes to release? Other than that weird crease, I do like my breasts and I am happy with the outcome. I know that I need to be patient and I will try to remember that.
I will post more pics after I am drain-free tomorrow.

Drains Out, Trying to Remain Hopeful

I got my drains out this afternoon (OUCH!). That hurt a lot, but now that they are out, I can stop wearing the tightly binding tube top. They told me to wear a tight sports bra or tank at least until my next post-op appointment next week.

So I still have indents under my nipples across the inner part of the breast. Not pretty. The doctor said not to worry and that we may have to wait for the internal sutures to dissolve (4-6 weeks) to see if that tissue will release. I will start massaging next week, which may help too. And my breasts definitely are not super soft yet, there are hard lumps near the incision (especially the leftie), which are tender to the touch.

Have any of you ladies had hard, painful lumps (scar tissue?) and/or indentations or puckering of the breast? And if you have, how long has it taken to dissipate (or did it?)? I am so anxious to hear a success story or two to ease my mind. I am going to look back into the archives tonight and see if I can find anyone with results like mine.

I am still working on remaining patient and hopeful :)

One Week Update

One Week Update

oops posted too soon that last one...
Feeling better every day as far as being able to use my arms, lift them overhead and drive. I also have very little movement with my pec muscle which is such a relief! Not that I have really pushed it, no push-ups or anything LOL. But previously I had movement with EVERYTHING, from opening doors to wiping down the counter. So I am quite happy with the muscle repair.

What I am having difficulty with (and, again, I am trying to be patient) is with the puckering of the left breast. It truly feels like the skin is being pulled in and is attached to something (scar tissue?). It seems like it hasn't changed at all since last week. The doctor said that it may take 4-6 weeks (for as long as it takes for the internal sutures to dissolve) to get better. But I just really need some reassurance from any ladies who have any experience with anything similar. I am scared that I am deformed now :(

There is also a bit of puckering at both the nipple incisions. I still have steri-strips in place. Does this get better once they are removed?

I feel happy (free, energetic and light!), but at the same time, disappointed. I wanted to feel such joy with my decision, and because my results are not ideal, I feel let down. I wasn't expecting this road to be easy, and I certainly did not expect my breasts to look great right after surgery, but I can't help feeling worried about whether this might not ever improve and I will be left looking like this forever.

Feeling down.
Portland Plastic Surgeon

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