The support on here has been so so so awesome! You girls are all awesome. If you're out there reading and wondering, what will it be like? Everything that I've gone through so far and thought, 'something's horribly wrong...' has all proven to be just part of the process.
Just as a reminder: 235 Sientra cohesive anatomicals rounded base, hp, AAcup before, (after unknown), 5'3" 110ish lbs (refuse to weigh yet). No kids. Before I think I measured something like 28" ribcage, 24" waist (on a good day), 31" hips. My bwd was 10 (cm's? in's? not sure how they measure)
The update and summary so far:
- Pain all the time. Felt like my boobs had literally been cut off, then replaced with hard frozen rocks. While that sounds bad, I knew it was coming, so it didn't concern me at all. I just told myself, so many other girls have described this, I know it's just going to be exciting to track how they start to feel like mine. They certainly did not at first, but once again, I did not feel bothered or sad by this.
- Franken-snoopy-boob. I couldn't avoid it, and it did make me feel sad. It brought regret, embarrassment, and shame. But I was just being impatient. It's fine now!
- Morning boob: never got it. Mostly because they just hurt all the time, and they were literally hard and misshapen, ALL THE TIME.
- Breasticle blues kicked in. Knew it was just post surgery, weird hormones, sedentary lifestyle, bad eating, too much sitting and TV, and pain pills related. I knew to expect it, but still didn't like it. If you've been through depression before (divorce/breakup, postpartum, sadness for no reason at all...) you may already have some skills for working through it. I just kept telling myself that my feelings were flat wrong, and that I wasn't allowed to wallow, sleep, or sit around inside. I did clothing swaps (yes, even with painful, swollen boobies, it can be done!), baked pies with friends I hadn't seen in a long time, went on a vacation, short slow hike, anything I could do to prove to myself that my feelings were just that, and didn't mean I had to act that way. I also kept my mouth shut. I've found that when I complain, moan, and whine about how I don't like something, I think and feel worse. I bursted on here, but after that, I was over it, and kept going.
- Haunched over-ness: Much better! As the pain went away, I was able to stand straight. Thanks to Boobtastic's advice, I went to the Chiropractor, OH MY GOSH, good as new. I can't recommend it more.
- Swelling: still there, although I thought it was supposed to be gone. Meant that I was still bloated. And because the swelling meant more pain, I continued to take pain meds as needed, which lead to more bloat. Eca40 was right, lots of water helps!!!
- Work: thanks to Novomamma, I knew exactly what to expect returning to work. No problem really, I just worked hard to hide em by strapping them down real firmly. Though, it has been emotionally exhausting, I'm applying for new jobs, and have interviewed for 2, and wishing that I could just have longer weekends and more time to relax. The new job I'm looking at offers no benefits (gross), is an hour or more commute away (I currently have no commute), and requires 10 hour days. 11 if you include lunch midday, and 13 if you included commute. Sucks, but jobs are hard to come by here, so I expect to only work there for 7 months (about the time I lose my mind).
- TinyAZ, BeachReady, Countrylife07, ans Sup74 provided some much needed support that everything was a stage, and that it was all normal. They were all right, and IT TOO DID PASS!!
Week 3 (as of Wednesday):
- Still swollen. People's bodies handle trauma different. We know this is what we want, but our boobs feel like they just got hit by a car. My process has been that the d&f'ing is really just, slowly less swollen.
- Softer, but still don't feel like my own. (I'm okay with that process, I think its cool feeling)
- Never had a problem with nipple sensitivity, but the skin feels sun burned when my bandeau strap is tight. (Been wearing since week one, still high, slowly rounding though).
- Bottoms of my breasts are still square-ish and numb. But I think it's from the internal stitches. I read that it means they are really strong, and less likely to burst open, so I'm not worried, I know they will round out with time.
- Sleeping: Oh man, I could talk for days about that! I AM NOT A BACK SLEEPER!!! From day 1, literally, day 1 home from the surgery, I kept trying to sleep on my side. It definitely hurt, but sleeping on my back hurts, so I would just wail in pain as long as I could stand being on my side, sleep on my back as long as I could handle, get up and walk around a little bit, then repeat the same process again. In the mornings, I leaned my neck forward and rested it on something chin height (usually my arm pillow turned on it's side.) By the middle of week 2, I could sleep on my side for hours at a time, sometimes all night with a sleeping pill. Now, I am fully comfortable on my side, and do child's pose in the mornings t help my back. I'm going to work on tummy sleeping starting today. I think I can do it. I'm sure it will feel weird and uncomfortable, but it's really worth the pain to me because my chronic back pain feels worse that the boob stings!
- Zingers: Never had em. Maybe in my sleep the first night, but luckily, I didn't suffer from that.
- Bloating: almost all gone. I'm starting to fit back in my old clothes, and happy for that, phew. Though I took the advice of other girls and stopped weighing myself. Why make myself suffer more, ya know?
- Sexiness: Now that's the downside. I dont really feel sexy. Im excited to have big boobs. Maybe it's because of the stupid strap I have to wear every day, but I am not feeling sexy. I dont want to take any pictures of my boobs or anything. I think that also has to do with the stress of job insecurity, but I hope to be at that proud point other girls are at soon.
All in all, feeling good, expectations are in check, and will be happy to report how my PS appointment goes.
Today I'm going in for my 3 week checkup.