Ready or Not? - Portland, OR

I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday - the first time I'd seen him since my surgery on September 12. All of my other post-op appointments have been with his PA. I met with her 2 weeks ago, and she suggested it was time to meet with the PS to discuss a revision.

Now that it's been 4 months and the swelling is gone and things have settled, it's pretty apparent that things are not quite even or symmetrical. I'm really liking the size and shape and profile of my right breast - it feels about right for a 50 year old woman - but the left breast feels like it belongs to a post-pubescent girl who's never worn a training bra!

It's a cup size or so larger than the right breast, and I'm afraid what effect gravity will have on it in the coming years. I'm also a little dismayed at the size and orientation of the nipples and areolas. At first I thought maybe there were 2 surgeons (my doctor and a resident) doing the surgery because my breasts looked so different. I couldn't believe the same surgeon could have turned out 2 such different looking breasts. But my PS assured me that when I left the OR, things were pretty even and pointing in the same direction. His explanation was that prior to surgery, my right breast was so large and pendulous that the areola and nipple were stretched to the max. Now there's not nearly the weight pulling down on the tissue, the areola has actually contracted during the healing process, giving it a much smaller appearance than the left. The right one is 3 cm across and the left is 5 cm. And the left areola is placed about 2 cm lower than the right. Pretty noticeable to the discerning eye.

The meeting went well yesterday. The PS said he could revise the left one - move the nipple up a little higher on the breast and size the areola to match the right, and he suggested removing about another 50 g of tissue to make them more even matched. I've also got a pretty sizable dog ear associated with the right breast, but he said that would be pretty simple to repair.

I'm feeling a little on the fence about having the revision done though. I feel like this time, the surgery would be completely for cosmetic reasons. I'm so glad I had the BR done in the first place - the neck, shoulder and upper back pain I had been experiencing is now gone, and exercising, running, jumping, skipping is sooo much better now. And I feel sooo much less self conscious - I'm actually looking forward to buying a swimsuit for the beach this summer.

I felt like that first surgery was necessary, even though it was elective. Now I just don't know if I should have this second procedure done. I feel so fortunate that I came through that first one with no complications and minimal pain. I just don't know if I want to go under anesthesia again. The PS did say it was a much simpler procedure and I wouldn't be under for long. I don't know. Any of you gals who've had a revision, what was your experience like? Or is anyone else considering a revision? Bottom line - sure it would be great to have my breasts look and feel more symmetrical, but is it worth the risk of another surgery?

I'm 3 weeks post surgery and had my first melt down last night. Others have written of the emotional roller coaster that we ride during our journey to smaller breasts and the changes in body image that we go through as well. I just didn't think it would hit me so hard and so completely out of nowhere. Prior to last night, most of my ups and downs had come before the surgery, ranging from wondering if I was doing the right thing, to would I wake up from anesthesia, to oh my gosh, I'm finally gonna get rid of these things!

Last night, I decided to try on some of my old bras thinking I would finally toss them, and was so disappointed to discover that I'm currently a 36D, which is a far cry from the little B-cups I had dreamed of. I have been wearing the post-op/compression bras 24/7 as I was told, but hadn't really checked in to see where I'm at size-wise. T-shirts definitely fit better now, but I still thought my bust line was pretty big. I kept telling myself that my breasts were just swollen from the surgery and would eventually get smaller, but then I compared photos from a few days after the surgery to last night's photos, and I see that other than the faded bruising, they're pretty much the same size now as they were right after surgery. I know a lot of women say they wish they'd gone smaller, and I guess I am now in that category too. They seemed so small the day after surgery, but now...?

My surgeon did do a fantastic job - especially given what he had to work with - but I'm just so bummed that to me, they still feel too big. I just don't see myself being able to go braless or wear strappy tops or dresses, or go to Zumba class or swim without wearing a bra under my swimsuit. I'm still feeling so self-conscious about my breasts.

I know I'm just having a bad day. I know I need to balance my expectations with my reality. Compared to my pre-surgery life, things are much better now, and I am so thankful that I have had a relatively easy and uneventful recovery. I am smaller than I was before and my breasts are the same size now - something they have not been since I was 14.

Ok, I'm feeling better now, I guess I just needed to write my feelings down. I know it's only be 3 weeks. I need to work on accepting me as I am. Besides, cup size ain't nothing but a number. Ok, a letter. It's more important how I look and feel and not what bra size I wear, right?

This website can be so cathartic. Thanks.

Pain and swelling have been pretty minimal so far. I must admit, I was pretty scared to take a shower yesterday and unwrap myself; I was so afraid of how things would look, but thankfully, I am very pleased with the results. There's a lot more bruising than I had expected, but it's not painful at all. Things are starting to get a little itchy, but I know that's a sign of healing, and putting ice on it definitely seems to help. Also having sensation in the L nipple, but at this point, can only detect pressure with the R. And she's still inverted, just a little shy. Hopefully she will pop out for a look around in the next few days.

Other than being a bit tired in the afternoons, I'm really feeling pretty good. And I think I've got the sleeping propped-up-on-my-back thing figured out. Actually felt like I got some good sleep last night.

Following all your advice regarding rest and lots of fluids. I'm back at home now after spending 2 days with friends. I've got pretty much everything I need within easy reaching distance and I'm well supplied with lots of veggies and fruit and healthy snacks. I already miss having someone make me breakfast and cleaning up after!

To anyone else out there thinking about having this procedure done, it's not been nearly as scary or painful as I had thought it would be. All of the medical staff at Kaiser were terrific, my friends have been wonderful and of course, the RealSelf community has been so supportive it's made this journey less stressful and totally worth it.