After nursing 3 kids I have lost all volume of my...
After nursing 3 kids I have lost all volume of my small to big in with breasts. I have agonized over the size of them for years, not being able to fill out clothes and wearing heavily padded 34aa bras 24/7 which I don't even fill out fully. I'm 5'7" 120lbs. It has been a really serious issue for me, not being able to watch tv, movies, even go anywhere, without me getting so depressed about the way I feel. So when the opportunity presented itself, I went and found a great surgeon and decided what would be the most natural, conservative outcome for me. My husband could not attend our appointments, and was not very supportive. One of my daughters is against it the other is very supportive. My son is a bit weirded out but says he supports me. I'm not looking to draw attention. I just want to be able to function like a normal woman and feel good about myself. Call me selfish.
Anyway, 320cc was the size, my husband sort of decided to trust me until the night before, made it to the surgery center, about to go in to the OR...had taken Celebrex, IV in, all my prep, and then I was told my daughter was very upset with me, ended up calling it off. Talk about a let down! My kids come first always so of course I had to...but there comes a point when you gotta wonder...what about me?
Thank you to all you lovelies for your well wishes, concerns and support!! I am happy to announce my surgery is officially rescheduled for Oct. 1st one week from today!!! Everything worked out for the best actually. My husband finally made it to an appointment to meet with my ps and we are actually going with a different brand anatomical 300cc which my ps didn't offer a few weeks ago, that has a little less projection than the other one...I'm happy with this decision and he's even happy for me. We worked it out with our daughter, and she is good with it all now...I am just hoping I will end up being closer to a full b. Going for the most natural and conservative. I'm soo excited, yet soo nervous!!! Xoxo
The sad truth
Finally got the nerve to post pics I dug up from a year ago. One more week with these sad little boobies...not even! Hoping 300cc is enough to make a nice difference:)
A little comic relief...
So today, (some of you young ones may not get this) I'm on the Bluetooth in my car with the hubs, and he goes...you remember on bugs bunny when bugs was in a pot and they were singing "were gonna have roast rabbit, we're gonna have roast rabbit"? He says, well I've had that in my head all day but with the words "jen's gonna get new titties, jen's gonna get new titties"...I was dying!! This from a man who was not really for this at all!!! I love him!!:)
Anyone use a genie bra for after surgery?
I found a 2 pack of genie bras at Walmart on clearance for $4.50! They are really ugly but for that price I bought them anyway...maybe they will be comfy at least.
Tomorrow's the big day!!
Finally, it's here! I'm so jittery and excited I can't stand myself! I think I have everything in order...spent all day tying up loose ends. I'm going to try to get a good nights sleep, have to be up at 5am to shower and do my hair. No make-up! That sucks! Probably won't be able to put any on either for a while. Oh well it's worth it! One thing I'm a little confused about is my husband is not interested in sex tonight being it will be 4 wks before we can again. It was one of the things that he was having trouble grasping about me having the surgery. Haha "no sex for 4 wks"???!!!! I know he had a long busy stressful day at work and he probably has a lot on his mind about tomorrow too, but geez!! Oh well. Good night all!!:)
I have boobies!!:)
1 Oct 2014
Day of treatment
Today went very smoothly. Arrived at the surgery center @8am. They were running ahead of time so took me in a half hour early @9. Which was great because the wait is the worst!
I don't remember anything about the OR except laying down on the table, my arms spread to the side and the nurse taking my glasses off. There was no counting or anything. I think whatever they put in my iv knocked me out. I was told my surgery was just a little under an hour. Waking up in recover was a long process it seemed, I was in and out for the longest time. When I was more alert I had a lot of pain/pressure in my upper back and arms. My breasts seemed tight and pressure more than anything. We were out by 1:00. I was a little nauseous on the ride home, thank got I have a nausea patch behind my ear because I can't imagine how it would have been without it. I went straight to my bed and slept a good sleep. Still have some pain in my upper back and arms and it hurts to take deep breaths. It's not horrible though, on a pain scale I would say 3 or 4.
Just chillin in bed with lots of pillows propping me. I haven't looked yet, but I can tell my breasts are swollen and hard...I'm a little afraid to peek. They seem huge right now and I'm looking forward to them shrinking down a bit. My ps used natrelle 410 shaped cohesive 295cc. I really do hope they go down a bit!! But it feels great to know I have something there now, like a hole has been filled! My husband has been amazing, my son won't look at me when he talks but he's making his awesome chili for dinner. Not sure if I'll be up for it but he is helping out. I'm still really sleepy so I might drift off in a bit! More to come:)
Is this real life?
Still can't believe all this is real...I've been resting a lot. I feel a little better than yesterday as far as moving around. Most of my pain is the area under my armpits. I haven't taken off the dressings I came home with yet, so I don't know what they look like. I do know they feel huge , hopefully due to swelling. Been doing my exersizes every hour that my ps prescribed. I can't wait to take a shower tomorrow and see them!
Patience is key right now
Had my first shower, felt weird like they were in the way. Still very heavy and tight feeling. Felt good to get that bra off though. I snapped a few pics so you guys can see. I am hoping the swelling will go down soon, my left is worse than my right underneath my armpit. They still feel huge, not really digging that feeling, but nice to know at least I have something. Naked, they are ugly as sin right now but I hope once they drop they will look much better. They look smaller naked and bigger in clothes. I just need to chill and let nature take it's course.
Got an approval from my son:)
Yesterday was the first day since my surgery my son spoke to me and made actual eye contact. He's 17 so it's kind of awkward for him. He asked me questions about the surgery and how I'm feeling now. Then he told me I look completely normal! He said he was so afraid I was going to look ridiculous and be embarrassed to be seen with me, but I look completely normal! That made me so happy!:) he's so cute!!
1 week down
I had my 1week post op appointment yesterday. Everything looks good, still a lot of dropping to do. My right is taking it's sweet time...frustrating at times. My steri strips came off so now I have to be more careful with the incisions being exposed. I'm using palmers cocoa butter for now until I'm able to start using a scar treatment probably after 6 weeks. I can see a change in the way they look thank god!! Can only get better from here! I'm just so happy to have something! I feel like a hole has been filled and I can get on with life! Oh, btw...the genie bras are great!! Super soft and comfy and have great support, especially for daytime running around! Helps a lot! (Even though it's ugly, I don't care!
Okay, so, that genie bra...yes it was comfy and very supportive...at first! It was so supportive it allowed me to get a lot of stuff done around the house that was falling behind since my husband had to go away for a couple days in business. I felt great and got a lot of things accomplished, probably over did it!! I spent the last couple days recovering...my right booby has been a bother the whole way through (taking longer to drop and more swollen) so the next day it was really swollen to the point it was aggravating a nerve near my armpit and my whole arm was hurting kinda like the pain you get from sciatica in your back down your leg. I spent all Friday and Saturday doing nothing and thank god it's better!! I was starting to worry about fluid and hematoma...sometimes reading about things on the internet is a bad thing!!! Lol
2 weeks with the girls
It's been 2 weeks since I was graced with the presence of these 2 girls that I will carry around with me for the rest if my life...I am going through a point if uncertainty about having them here. While I am happy I have "something" I feel as though I may be just as ashamed to be seen in public with them as well...let's just hope they shrink down a lot!! I never would have thought 295cc would bring me to a d...I really only wanted a full b and my ps told me I won't be any bigger than that...
Right now, my girls and I have not bonded at all. They still don't feel like they are a part of me. I want to like them but I feel like they are just really big on me...I wear a size 0...a d is not modest on someone so thin. Everyone on here seems to be fine with their d's and dd's and they should be! I think each and every one of you look fantastic!! I just think that for me, I should be smaller...no boob greed here! I really don't know definitely what my size is right now, but I know if anything I am a large c. And I also know it is still early on in this long god foresaken process, and I shouldn't be jumping the gun...I really shouldn't even be thinking at all right now because I am definitely pms-ing! Maybe they are even more swollen because if that!!
On top of all that, I HAD to choose anatomical because I wanted the most natural, plus I hardly had any breast tissue to begin with, plus my nipples were a bit low and all of these things suggested the anatomicals to be my best choice. Well, these babies take so much longer to drop than any other implant! They also are so firm, I feel like a Barbie doll right now. I actually feel like I've been upholstered! Please, if anyone out there has had natrelle 410 anatomicals, please tell me they will soften up! Yes, I'm sure they will look natural, but just don't touch them! I am sorry for my rant...I am not dealing at all too well with this recovery! I want to crawl in a hole!!! And here I am complaining about my fake breasts when there are people dying from Ebola and all kinds of other stuff going on in this world!!
OMG...that is all.
Getting back on track!!:)
Thank you everyone for being so kind!! It's amazing to me to have such supportive friends on here!! It was like I was falling and I had a safety net of beautiful caring women to catch me and lift me up! It helped soo much! I am forever grateful!
I have been doing better and I even picked up a cheap little bralette to cheer me up...no letter! Lol when I look at my pictures I don't seem big at all, I guess it's just me getting used to my new curves and how I look in clothes. I'm attaching a couple pics I took today. I don't really see a whole lot of change between last week and today...my biggest concern is my right breast that is still rather tight and swollen and a bit higher. But I think that's because I'm right handed and that muscle was more developed and is taking longer to give. It just feels uncomfortable on that side, while my left side is feeling normal like nothing happened. Deep breathes!!! Anyway...thank you again! You guys are the best!! Xoxo
It's been three weeks since surgery and I'm feeling a lot better, emotionally and physically. Thank you to all you sweetie pies out there for your huge support!! I don't think I could go through with this without you all. My husband is not the best in supporting me. He tries but he didn't want me to do this in the first place so I guess I really can't expect much. It's just hard when I start to feel good about myself and I walk past him and I catch a glimpse of him looking at me in disgust. I got about 5 days of help from him around the house, then he went away on business for 3 days and it didn't resume after that. I guess there was an expiration date. I'm pretty much on my own I think as he feels he has never heard of such a long recovery with the 2 shoulder surgeries he's had, along with a gal bladder, and 2 hernias. He rolls his eyes when I tell him I think I over did it doing laundry, picking up piles of dirty clothes and carrying them downstairs. He pretty much has no sympathy for an elected surgery, which is fine, he did warn me he wouldn't. On top of it, he has an attitude that I haven't been back to work, which I am apprehensive about being I didn't tell anyone and also I don't want them to know and I think it's very obvious. I have wanted to find a new job anyway because my commute is awful for just a part time job. I transferred there after we moved back in March and it was the closest to where we live now. So, yesterday I had a job interview that I think went well...fingers crossed!
Physically I feel better. My right is still more swollen but it feels like it may have moved a little because there is less pressure in my arm. It feels tighter than my left but there are moments when I feel really good to the point where I forget they're there and I have to look down or grab them to make sure they are. My incisions are healing well I think. I have developed mondors cords under my left...not painful unless I stretch too far. Still waiting for them to soften up. I think they have a little, but I'm hoping they will much more. They just don't move at all! As far as appearance I really don't see a change from last week...I know I have a huge gap between them and I'm hoping they will come together a little more...I know that's the way I was made but will I at least be able to push them together?
Just for fun...I intended on sending this little tease to my hubby, but he wouldn't appreciate it so, I felt the need to post it here...just feeling really great about myself and wanted to document that!! Haha. Xoxo
4 weeks today!
I'm still feeling awesome! My right boobie is definitely loosening up more and they are feeling softer. I really hope they will get more soft as time goes on. I still have a shelf-like appearance in a side view which I am told it will take time. One of the reasons I chose shaped implants was because I like the natural slope at the top. All in all, I'm getting back into the swing of things...got a new job, able to do so much more, thank god!!! I do have a question for anyone who would know...Is it normal for you to feel completely fine one day and then be a little more tight the next? This happens to me sometimes and was just wondering...hope everyone is doing well with their new selves!! Have a great night!! Oh yeah, happy hump day!!! Haha
6 week post op
Hi everyone!! Hope everyone is happy and healthy, and recovering well!!:)
I had my six week post op appointment today! I didn't get to see my ps but the nurse examined me and told me I'm still very high and more so on the right (as if I didn't know that) she didn't sen concerned about the asymmetry between the two, I still have a long way to go...she said it could really take the full 6 months! It's going to be a long 5 months!! Haha
My incisions look good and said I can start using the silicone strips that I have to order over the phone and gave me a pamphlet for it...has anyone done this before? How much does this cost? I haven't called yet because payday isn't until Friday...lol
Other than that, everything looks good, I can slowly start doing any upper body exercising and resuming my normal activities, which I pretty much already have...she takes pictures at every appointment to show the progression and I asked to see my pre and 1 week pics...let me tell you, I was in awe!! I started to cry! To see my before up there beside my one week, (even though they were at their ugliest post op), what a difference!! If I had any doubts of doing this, they were gone!! I never want to be that person again!! I am the same inside of course, I just feel my outside now matches better with my inside! The funny thing on the drive home thinking about what I used to look like, I equate to the little mermaid Disney movie, Poor Unfortunate Souls! Remember those little shriveled up creatures in the sea that Ursula had changed them into? I feel like I was one of those and then set free into a beautiful being again! That was the best part of today! I wanted to take some pics to add to my update but I'm just not feeling it, maybe tomorrow...I still kinda look the same as my last anyway. If anyone has any tips on scar treatments...let me know:)
Love to all!! xoxo
8 weeks...a couple things I am thankful for...
Here I am eight weeks! A little disappointed with my right side...I continue to be patient. It's still hanging high and appears to be bigger! A little annoying! Other than that I feel great! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!
I'm scared!! Please help!!
Okay ladies, I am so scared right now!! You know how my right always has been a problem for me with swelling and up high and not dropping? Well tonight I was standing in front if the mirror because the upper portion of my right seems to be bulging a little and I pressed on it and it is not implant I feel...it feels like fluid of some sort, like a bubble at the top if the implant!! It is late to call the doctor and I have work in the morning at my new job that I can't call off, I don't know what to do!! I don't want to tell my husband because he will just get pissed and start his shit about me even doing this in the first place! I don't know what it could be or if it's serious and I don't know what could be done to help me....anyone know what this is and what I need to do about it? I really need your help!!
Everything is fine...:)
11 Dec 2014
2 months post
Thanks for all of your support!! My ps saw what I was talking about and said it could be swelling. It could be an air pocket or fluid but if it is, it's not enough to do anything, it should work itself out in it's own! I go back on the 8th of January anyway for my 3 month...
17 Dec 2014
2 months post
So, this is what I'm talking about...it's 2 1/2 months and I love how my left is taking shape, but my right seems stuck and I think that's why I thought there was something at the top of my right when it's just actually implant that I'm feeling maybe...it's just feeling really uncomfortable and all I can do is wait. When that sucker comes down I will be extremely happy!!!!
3 month post op visit
11 Jan 2015
3 months post
So, I went for my 3 month visit with my ps. She wants me to have an ultrasound on my right breast to see what exactly and how big the pockets of fluid/air are along the top outside my implant. She said she's never dealt with anything like it before and cannot find anything in the doctors journals about it. Only problem is is that my husband changed jobs and has 2 months to go until we have insurance to cover it. She was fine with me waiting until then because it is not an emergency. It's just very frustrating! As far as it not dropping, she's sticking with the fact that I'm right handed and my muscles are tighter because of it and sometimes it could take up to 9 months to see a final result. She assures me she's had patients that have taken that long. I trust her! I just worry because of the implants being textured and a lot I've read on here about them not dropping much past a certain time frame being that they are form stable and adhere to your tissues. She wouldn't consider any corrective surgery anyway until 6-9 months, so I'll just keep playing the waiting game. I am happy about the size and I can tell in the end it will all work out but I just get discouraged a lot about it. I still love them and am so happy I'm not flat chested anymore!! I just want it to be over!! Lol
Update at 15 weeks
22 Jan 2015
3 months post
Wish I could say I see changes in my right breast, but nope...I wonder how long this is going to drag out...my ps doesn't seem too concerned but I am getting really concerned and I really don't want to wait out 6- 9 months for her to tell me it's not changing and something needs to be done. Just about at my wits end. I love how my left is turning out but I feel very sad about my overall outcome thus far...not really sure what is causing this. I'm afraid to get a second opinion because I really want to trust my ps in that she knows what she is doing, which I believe she does and this is a fluke because any other reviews I've seen from her turn out amazing and I don't want to jeopardize her credibility, but at the same time I feel like I'm screwed! I just want this over and to feel better about myself which is why I had this done in the first place. Any thoughts? I think I looked better at 1 week!
10 Feb 2015
4 months post
It's been a little over 4 months now and even though I have been very frustrated with the issues of my right breast not dropping and possible fluid and waiting for changes that don't happen, I feel fine and I've been trying to not focus too much on the negative. I'm trying to stay positive and have faith everything will work out for the best. Bra shopping has been a blast and am over the moon with how I look and feel, despite the speed bumps! When I put on my my big girl bras I feel like such a woman now and you can hardly tell what's going on with righty! Still wouldn't change a thing! I want to thank all of you on here for being so supportive! Makes it a little easier!:) xox
22 Mar 2015
5 months post
I finally went to have the ultrasound on my right breast. My ps thought it might be fluid I was feeling. No fluid was found which is a good thing. So the squishy bumps I'm feeling are the implant? Is this normal? I had anatomical cohesive silicone...I didn't think this was possible. You would think the implant would be air tight. On too of that, it still has not dropped and I have to wait for my 6 month post op appointment to address these issues. I'm doing fine but I feel very frustrated at times. At my last appointment one of the things that was mentioned by my ps is that she kind of thought the top part of my implant felt like it was folded over a bit. So if that's the case what can be done about this if it's not correcting itself. At almost 6 months I'm thinking not much change will take place from here on out naturally especially because these are textured implants. Has anyone else experienced any of these issues? I just need this all to be over so I can feel normal!!!
So at 6 months...THIS
Will be going to my 6 month post op Tuesday...we'll see what's up...soo frustrated I can't even!!
Revision it is
My ps said that she's not quite sure what is going on or why but would like to open me back up and see and fix whatever is wrong. She is pretty certain though that my muscle that's supposed to be covering the top of the implant slid off and is behind it causing the top part of my implant to bubble out and not lay flat plus may have to score some scar tissue along the bottom to help it fall into place. She said the surgery would take 30 minutes and the recovery far less than initially. Problem is convincing my husband that she is trustworthy to be able to fix it the right way without screwing me up more. I truly do believe she can make it better and I don't believe it's her fault at all...just my freaking luck!
10 Apr 2015
6 months post
My revision is scheduled for July 15th...wish it could be sooner but too much going on right now. Hope time flies!!
13 Apr 2015
6 months post
I can make my righty look normal if I position it the right way...but looking forward to not have to...
Revision in a week
I am beyond nervous about my upcoming revision on my right breast. I'm really just so ready to get on with life and not have to even think about these things anymore. I have questioned myself even going through with it but the fact is is that I won't be able to live with the way things are. My right breast never fully dropped and is sticking out at the top like there's a bump or something and I have horrible deep ripples all around my upper pole where it should be smooth like my left. So here I go in a week under the knife again but with only one breast. Having to be patient once again with the healing process and all the emotional ups and downs that goes along with it. I have a feeling it will be worse with having just one swollen breast and another scar to heal only on one side. Please pray for me that all goes well and I can finally have peace with my breasts. I'm so scared I will end up worse.
16 Jul 2015
9 months post
I went for my revision yesterday on my right breast. It's not as painful as the last time just a little sore. I haven't peeked yet to see how it looks but the bump at the top of it is gone. My ps said what happened was that my implant stuck to my tissues to soon and just never settled down.(being that they are textured) I guess I'll find out more of what she did to correct it at my first post op in about a week. Now all I want is for time to fly so I can start feeling like myself more. Just relieved it's over.
4 days after revision
19 Jul 2015
9 months post
I am so excited to say that I'm feeling wonderful. Just a little sore and slightly swollen but I can already see it's going to turn out great! Finally!!!! I'm still taking it easy. Feeling a little under the weather a little nauseous ever since I took off the nausea patch yesterday. I don't want to screw this up! I start back at work tomorrow. A little nervous about that, mostly because I need to slide heavy doors to open but other than that I think I can handle the day. I took a couple pics so you can see how it's coming along. No more shelf above my right breast just smooth line like my left and you can't tell from the pics but it's positioned lower too. Just need my nipple to come up some and be more aligned with the left. I'm not expecting perfection but I feel it's already 95% better than what it was. Yayyy!!!
Here they are...
21 Jul 2015
9 months post
Still a little sore but not too bad. I can't believe the nearly immediate results this time. I think they look so natural...they're a little more firm than I hoped but I can deal with that. I can see the light at the end of this long ass tunnel!! Lol
What a difference!
24 Jul 2015
9 months post
Just wanted to show a side by side of before and after...I'm still taking it easy. No lifting over 5 lbs and I'm trying to do things left handed. Ambidextrous I am not! My house is suffering tremendously but i don't want to screw anything up.
4 weeks after revision
12 Aug 2015
10 months post
I'm feeling better everyday. Doing a little more and feeling comfortable with it. The one thing I need now is for my nipple to come up and match the left. I realize I will never be perfect but if it came up just a little bit more I will be so so happy. I'm thinking it was always lower and like they say an augmentation makes the flaws more pronounced. Help cheer on my right nipple! Lol
6 week update after revision
31 Aug 2015
10 months post
So, I had my six week post op after my revision of my right side. My doc is super pleased with the outcome. I was told that my implant was just stuck. It was removed scar tissue cleared away and put back in proper place. I was told that my muscle was just so tight and being my implants are textured it just adhered where it was put. This makes so much sense . I wondered if I had had muscle relaxers it would have made a difference. It's all behind me now. Thank god!' I was cleared to wear a regular bra and I can sleep with nothing. Pretty much all has been lifted. Just now using scar strips to continue the healing on those. My new incision actually looks better than the other surprisingly. Anyway, here I am after all the drama...I'm thrilled!! Btw...with only 295cc starting with a AA, I am either 34c or 32d depending on brand. Go figure...
4 months after revision on right breast
I am so happy for the most part. A few little cons but nothing to act on. Rippling is a struggle. But I had nothing to cover the implants so I know it's inevitable. It's not terrible. Only in certain positions can I notice. The only other thing really is that my right side is a little bigger than my left but again not too noticeable. Also, the side I had my revision in still feels different like the nerves are still regenerating. Hoping that will go away soon. It seems to be worse in the morning. Here are some pics one including my first push-up. I don't need it and I certainly won't wear it in public. Makes me look pornstarish. Lol just having fun. :)
Wishing all of you a very happy holiday season full of love and continued healing and happiness!!
It's been a while. Not a lot has changed. I'm very happy despite the few ripples in certain positions and my scars underneath are still noticeable. My clothes fit so much better and I'm able to wear things I never could. Especially bras from VS! I don't feel like a little boy/girl anymore. My breasts feel like I've always had them now. Mission accomplished! Good luck to all thinking about, having, have had, and recovering a BA. It can be a long road but it was totally worth it for me!;)
A little over a year and a half
I'm so happy with my results however my husband is still not accepting. Getting really sick of the dirty looks. Absolutely no compliments on anything ever. Sex has decreased drastically. Only on his terms, I am turned down every time I initiate, therefore I don't. So unhappy about that aspect. I'm at a loss. I can't see putting up with this much longer. I feel very sad.
Hubby is coming around...finally!!!!
What a long journey it's been. Emotionally exhausting! I see light finally!