Ready for SUMMER!! - 36 yrs old, 450 cc's, mod+, smooth round memory gel unders - Phx, AZ

Feeling a little like a slacker since I haven't been on realself in a while, been in and out of town (leaving again tomorrow) and trying to keep the household running smoothly with all the other little extras of summer that I haven't been as active on here...although I haven't forgotten about it or anyone on here!! ;) Anyway, guess there's not a whole lot to report. I had a follow up appt last Thursday and was SO hoping to be cleared to throw my compression band in the trash, but nope. Doc said I need to keep wearing it as much as I can until my next appt in 5 weeks and we'll see how things look. I nearly cried in that moment, mentioned I'd be visiting family and friends back home in Seattle and REALLY didn't want to have to wear the sports bra/compression band combo, if at all possible. He looked a little surprised at my reaction (maybe other women don't mind wearing it for months on end...???), and then said I could wear it mostly at night and as much as possible, so I guess it's not a matter of life and death. I tend to be a rule follower by nature, so I take these things very seriously, lol. Really I have no issues except that the right side is still so much more firm and tight than the left. He showed me how I need to be "massaging" much more aggressively than I'd been doing, which seems to have helped already in the short amount of time I've been doing that. Apparently there is a way he can get in there (just manually, by pressing and squeezing or whatever) and "break things up," but he said it shouldn't be necessary if I really do what he showed me on my own, consistently. The implants are settling nicely and although not yet in their final position, definitely getting there. I'll probably post more pictures at or around the 2-month mark, but for now, there really is no point seeing as they look so similar to my last pics.

I've got to say, I'm not claiming they are perfect breasts by any means, but so far 2 friends will be booking consults with my PS and I have gotten so many other gushy compliments from friends in-the-know that I'm feeling pretty good about my results. :) I know they look great in clothes especially, and they are what many women want when it comes to BA. That having been said...I still experience what is kind of like the opposite of boob greed from time to time...I see petite women with smaller breasts and I am envious. Not smaller as in flat and saggy like mine used to be, but the sexy-smaller with roundness and fullness. It's not something that torments me or anything, I just get a slight bit of sadness in the pit of my stomach because that won't ever be me. But oh well. I caught a peak at the horrific 8x11 photo of my pre-op breasts as my doctor glanced through my file, and I think I actually let out an audible gasp...it was so disturbing!! So I just need to remind myself that my new boobs are a vast improvement. No contest, really. And I realize now I'm just rambling (on and on and on), but one last thought on the subject...is anyone else bothered by the stares and outright ogling of men now that they have implants? I feel like I need to preface this by saying it's not as though I don't enjoy attention once in a while, and it's also not like I've never had bigger, attention-grabbing boobs before, but the difference is that it didn't bother my eighteen year-old self like it does my current self. I'm now surmising that a lot of men believe a woman's body is there for their viewing pleasure, like it's their God-given right to stare, and it's kind of unnerving sometimes. For me, this is most typical at the gym where it's not like I'm going to wear baggy sweatshirts to cover up. I want to be able to wear the same form-fitting tank tops that I've always worn, except now it garnishes a heck of a lot more unwanted attention. I guess this is what I'm referring to when I talk about not wanting to be "so big"...I feel like it gives off an impression of me that's not really who I am inside. Maybe a lot of women who get breast implants *want* to be seen as sex objects, but I really don't. (And just to clarify, in case there's any question, I really do NOT dress the same way in real life as you see in the recent pictures I posted. Those dresses and swimsuits were purchases for Vegas, so I was definitely going for sexy. The real me is, for the most part, much more reserved.) :) Anyway. This is probably coming across as super negative, I am just sharing some of my inner thoughts and feelings in case any of you can relate. I don't want to have to hide my body in order to live my life. Especially now that I've paid good money for some decent breasts!! ;) I'm sure it's all part of the adjustment period, so I'm not too worried about it, just including these thoughts in my update because, well, why not?

One final parting question, totally unrelated... So my PS provided me with a tube of SkinCeuticals Epidermal Repair (1.35 oz) and SkinMedica Scar Recover Gel (2 oz), which retail for $69 and $98 respectively. I used the epidermal repair cream as directed and now am done, but the amount used was SO minimal!! It's basically full, and I cannot foresee any use for it in the future. I'm still using the scar recovery gel, but have just started with that and am guessing it will be the same situation, since I squirt out only the teensiest amount each time I use it. So...what should I do with these very expensive scar treatments?? I feel like it's such a waste to leave them sitting in the cabinet, seeing as I will probably never need them again. But it's not like I can sell them, even though they're practically brand new. Any ideas??

Okay, that's it for today, and probably for quite some time, seeing as I'm leaving tomorrow for a 2 week visit home to Seattle. :) Hope everyone is doing well in their BA journeys and enjoying summer as much as I am!! Cheers!

Realize it's been a while since my last update, or any other activity, for that matter...so will post a "real" update in a minute. But for now, here are a couple pics of my favorite dog in the whole wide world, specially requested by fellow pit owner anna1989. :) (She also posted a pic of her sweet girl, if you're a dog lover and haven't seen that yet, you should stop by her page and take a look...ADORABLE!!) ;)

Welp, just got home from an epic girls' weekend in Vegas, had SUCH a great time!! But unfortunately one of the downsides to having *too* good of a time at one of the pool parties was that my phone got ruined. As in, completely dead. No hope of revival. Ugh, this has been quite the inconvenience, and it also means I haven't been getting any emails, notifications, etc. So really the purpose of this update is to let you know why I haven't gotten back to a few messages and comments, I really do hate to leave anyone hanging... For now, it's off to bed I go, but I'm at least back home again and I hope to do some catching up / responding tomorrow. :)