~ Mentor 275 mod + silicone unders - Two Years! ~

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Hello, I'm a SAHM of two fabulous, high-energy...

I'm a SAHM of two fabulous, high-energy kids who I breastfed until they were each about 2 years old. I've gone from a perky small B that I was really quite happy with to a saggy who-knows-what because I'm still using my old bras. I've got to be an A or less. I've been growing more and more unhappy with my breast size and even though I never though I'd even consider a BA, I am now. The thing is, I'm scared. I gave birth to both kids naturally with midwives to stay out of the hospital and I've never had any surgeries. Not even stitches! I'm afraid of going under the knife.

really want to feel good about myself and my husband supports me no matter what I do. He just says that if I'm NOT going to get the surgery, then I can't complain about them in front of him, because he loves me however they look! Love him... :-)

Anyway, I started to look around on this site about a week ago and I'm so grateful for everyone's stories! I've booked a consultation for May 2nd with Dr. Genter just outside of Philadelphia. Anyone use him? Would love to hear what you think. If I do decide to book the BA, I would like to still be able to enjoy summer. Would I be better off waiting until fall or winter? Or should I just go for it ASAP?

Here are my stats: 5'4", 119 pounds, athletic build. I love to work out: yoga, body combat, strength training, and I'm active with my kids. I know cup size is tough to measure from reading other posts, but I'd love to be a nice, full B cup. I really don't want to be any bigger. Honestly. I want a very natural look and to be able to fit into my current wardrobe. And I don't plan on publicizing my surgery, so I don't want the change to really be noticeable to anyone but myself and my husband. So, there's my story! Will let you know what I'm feeling after the consult!

I've been devouring this site for the past several...

I've been devouring this site for the past several days and just ventured over to the implant removal section, which has me even more confused than ever before. I'm nervous about all of the many things that could go wrong... Would I regret implants, will they look fake, should I learn to love my body the way it is? If I want this just for me, which I do, then maybe I should just suck it up and live with what I've been given? With implants can I still wear my favorite t-shirts and tank tops without a bra? What if I'm in pain all the time? What if I can't work out at the gym like I'm used to? Sorry to be a downer... just confused!

So after my freak out, I've decided that even...

So after my freak out, I've decided that even though there are things that could wrong, it's not the norm, as in almost any situation. I'm feeling good about the consult in a couple of weeks and have to ask - if I feel really good about this doctor that I'm consulting with, should I go ahead and book or should I still shop around? I'm thinking that if I do want to go for it, I'd like to do sooner than later and show off the girls for summer!

Second consultation is booked for May 15! I...

Second consultation is booked for May 15! I actually really like the before/after pics of the second doc, so excited to hear what they each have to say. It's funny... In my discussions with my husband and the one friend I've told, I keep saying that I am just exploring my options, but when I wear my clothing I think to myself "this is going to look so much better after my BA!"

Choices, choices after two consultations.

Okay, now that I've had two consultations, I'm even more confused than ever... I like each doc and their practice for different reasons.

Doc one: Very spa-like office setting, lengthy and thorough consultation including lots of Q&A, trying sizers, walking me through the process, excellent staff, reviewed financing options (even though I may not need to finance), and I feel like the doc really wants to just make me happy and provide me with exactly what I want. I feel doc one has a great marketing team - freebies given at office visit, coupons for other services, goodie bag. You just felt luxurious and well taken-care-of upon leaving there. Paid a small fee for the consultation.

Doc two: more clinical-type office located in a medical center, but with a laid-back feeling (which is not a bad thing to me since this IS a medical procedure, but didn't have a "spa" feel or all the marketing bells and whistles as doc one). Even though doc answered all of my questions, I felt this visit was a bit more rushed, which could have been because I arrived late due to traffic, but I was the only person I saw in the office. We discussed size, but didn't try on sizers. He said that once I book the surgery, I'd nail down size and implant type on a pre-op visit. It's weird because he was professional for sure and like I said, he answered my questions and quickly walked me through the procedure after asking if I'd done my research about BA, but I just felt like I was left hanging a bit... When he left the exam room, I was just basically given a cost breakdown and sent on my way. Now, maybe this is the difference between a paid-for and a free consult, BUT I really like that this doc uses the Keller Funnel and fully explained why he uses it. It sounds like the way to go! Smaller incision site, less trauma to the skin, less risk of bacterial infection... why not use it?! I called doc one to see if he used this method and his office said there hasn't been scientific proof of its benefit yet, so they don't.

So, I'm still not even 100% sure I'm going through with the surgery yet, but I'm hung up on which doc to use if I do. Both are professional and well qualified. For my wish to have a natural look that's on the smaller side both docs recommended silicone implants under the muscle with an inframmary incision. No lift needed. Cost of each is comparable. Any thoughts out there about the pros/cons of the funnel? I feel like the use of the funnel would be my deciding factor.

Booked my date! October 3rd.

After many months of driving myself crazy with do I or don't I, I've decided to go for it! I'm fluctuating between absolute panic and total peace with the decision. At the moment, I'm at peace. I'll be freaking out again in an hour.

When I told my husband yesterday that I'd booked it, he asked what was the deciding factor all of a sudden (after months of indecision). It was that I really do want to feel confident again. I have beautiful lingerie and clothing in my closet that I don't wear due to my self esteem. I don't want to let any more time pass wishing I'd have just done it already. I've worked really hard the past year to get fit after having kids and I'm really proud of my body with the exception of my flat chest. I was happy with my small chest pre-children, even though I only had a small handful. Now that that's gone, I get very self conscious, even with my husband who loves me exactly as I am. I want to feel sexy for him and for me!

Even though I'm terrified of all the what-ifs, so many of you here have helped me to see what can go "right" with the experience and that's what I'm trying to focus on. I'm not telling others of my decision yet. I want to just sit on it for a bit and wrap my own thoughts around it before having to defend myself (which I know I would have to do with both friends and family). I may just tell a few close friends in the end and leave family out of it entirely, as they would completely freak.

I do know that from my first consultation, I want to look at the 250 - 275cc range. I just want a nice full look with a natural slope, not something that anyone would notice, but enough for me to feel good in my swimsuits and in the buff. I've chosen the second doctor; the one who uses the Keller Funner. The use of the funnel was a big factor for me after studying online about its benefits. I booked the surgery date and pre-op yesterday afternoon. I was so nervous!! I was shaking before I hit the last number on the phone. Then, when I hung up the phone, I felt a surprising sense of calm. I've been going over this in head non-stop (and obsessing on this site!) for so long and it felt really good to finally have made a choice!

So, now I have two months to go. I'm not in hurry now that I've booked it. I think two months is a good amount of time to prepare myself mentally. And of course, should I have a total change of heart and decide to back out, I'm also giving myself that breathing room. But, if I do back out it will be 100%. I will NOT mull it over any more. I've told myself it's now or never so I don't torture myself with indecision any longer.

There it is!! Pre-Op is September 13th (uh-oh... Friday the 13th! ACK!) and I'll finalize my sizing then. My doctor does not recommend any supplements or scar cream, I just need to withdraw use of any vitamins, etc. about a week pre-op. So, other than getting some meals pre-made and finding my body pillow, I might be all set. You tell me! What do I need that I'm not thinking of? I think my husband is really excited I've decided to go for it. He wants me to be happy and he's said we'll do some fun bra shopping when it's time. :)


Has anyone been plagued by nightmares after booking their BA? The past two nights in a row I've had them! The first one was really weird. I was on a vacation where the hotel was part of this huge mall and I went to the surgeon's room in the hotel with a bunch of other ladies to all have BAs and when I came out, he'd only wrapped me up with one layer of ace bandage and my right boob had fallen down about 6 inches lower than the other... and then I woke up. In the one last night, the surgeon used pieces of provolone cheese to do my BA and the funny thing is that I wasn't even mad about the cheese, I was just really mad that I was still flat!!

Not only am I stressing while awake, but I'm getting stressed out in my sleep, too! Aaaahhh!!

Wish boob pics

Having fun surfing the net for wish boobs!

Three days until pre-op

Let me start by saying that I'm still feeling peaceful about my decision to move forward and I'm grateful for those here who've gone before me to pave the way! It's so helpful! Yesterday I ordered two sets of Hanes Bandinis for afterward at the suggestion of Daphne and the awesome sale hook-up from OutlawCranium. :-) thanks, ladies! I've printed my wish pics for the pre -op on Friday and made my appts for blood work and physical. It's getting real!!!

I made some rice sizers last week. Here's 275cc. I think I like it!

Post Pre-Op Thoughts

I had my pre-op, blood work, and physical on Friday. After signing 9 pages of consent forms that detailed everything under the sun that could possibly go wrong, I was pretty freaked out! My palms were so sweaty!! The office was really busy that morning and I was called back about 45 minutes late, so I was especially nervous having all that time to contemplate bleeding out in the OR and whatnot...

The PS took some measurements and we discussed the procedure a bit before he left me to try on sizers. I was very happy with the 250cc sizers, so he recommended I go with Mentor Gel 275 cc Mod + implants. I think I feel good about that. I'd tried the 275 rice sizers here at home and they looked good, but I would definitely be okay with a bit less, so I'm actually hoping that I do lose a bit of the volume by going under the muscle. Also, knowing that the #1 complaint is not going big enough, I should avoid that with the 275s since the 250 look is great for me. I hope!

My PS is very confident and I trust him or I wouldn't have chosen him, but I'm very grateful for the stories I've read here or I wouldn't know what questions to ask and I feel like there were a few topics we wouldn't have gone over had I not brought it up.

I received my Bandinis in the mail this week and they're soooooo comfortable! Love them already. I need to purchase a zip up sports bra for my follow up appt. and bags of frozen peas! Thanks for the list of supplies, Beth! I'll start checking them off. :)

I still can't believe I'm actually doing this. I really never thought I'd ever have plastic surgery in a million years. I'm not totally crunchy granola, but I am a very natural girl and I shock myself! When talking with a close friend about it, I explained to her that I just want to be confident in my body again. That's all. I don't want to be a porn star or to attract the attention of anyone but my husband. I can't wait to feel sexy again!

So, here is my question for you girls:

I didn't want to tell my babysitter that I'm doing this, but my appt is the very first of the day and I have an hour drive. Would it be weird/detrimental to him if my husband brought me to the hospital with both kids and then drove him back to the bus? He's almost six and very perceptive. My fear is how he would feel "taking mommy to a hospital". Or should I just suck it up and hire my sitter for the morning? She'd have to come at 5:00am. My friends say I don't need to tell her what I'm having done, but we're very close and she pretty much knows everything about our lives anyway, so I feel that I couldn't keep it from her if she knew I was going.

Thanks for your support!

Referring to my son in question above...

I didn't clearly state in my question above that it's my son I'm talking about going with us to the hospital at first. He wouldn't be there when I come out of the OR. He'd be in school and would see me later that day. Just trying to figure out the morning bus thing. My two year old daughter will be with my husband at the hospital.

Remembered a few more details from Pre-Op

I was thinking about everything we went over in my pre-op and remembered a few more details. One is that with my chosen size and the current amount of breast tissue that I have, my PS said I should be a small - medium C cup post-op. The last time I was a C cup, I was a bountiful breasted nursing goddess momma! Woohoo! That would be so exciting! I actually had some pin-up pics done when I was nursing because the ladies had never looked so good. ;-) Maybe I'll have to book another shoot one day!

The other thing I remembered was about the incision site. My PS uses internal dissolving stitches and surgi-tape, so I won't be needing any stitches removed. That was a relief. I'm such a baby about needles, etc. and I was so worried I'd feel any stitches being removed. No worries about that at least! Okay, that's all for now.

One More!

Oh, one last detail! From my collage of wish pics, the PS said we're on track for the Jennifer Aniston look/size. I told my husband that and he lit up! I said, sorry babe, you're still getting good 'ole me, just Jennifer herself! Hahaha!!! But, he was VERY happy to hear we're going for that look. LOL... Men.


"Not" Jennifer herself...

Free meditations!

So, apparently I have a lot to say today with all these posts, but I wanted to share with those heading into surgery (and those that aren't!) that there is a free 21 day meditation/mantra thing going on right now and it's great for calming the nerves. I think we're already on day 8, but you should be able to join anytime. Just google 21 day mantra meditation with Deva and Miten. Namaste, peeps. :-)

Two weeks out. Cold feet.

I had to call in and pay the hospital and anesthesia fees today and that scared the crap out of me. Am I really doing this? I felt so confident all week and now I'm panicking. I think I've been reading too many explants stories again... And I worry because there are so many of you out there who are just counting down the days with excitement until your surgery date and I'm counting them down in apprehension. Am I setting myself up for failure by being so nervous? I do want this. And I want to love them! But what if I feel like they're not for me, like others do?? What a grand waste of money that would be! Ugh... I'm sorry. Debbie Downer today. I knew the freak out phase would come again.

So, here's what else has been on my mind: I know that the sizing is different for every body. It's very plain to see on other reviews here that 250 on one body can look like 375 on another (at least to me). I felt that 250 sizers looked great on me at the PS's office and I don't want more. Is 275 really going to look like less under the muscle as they say? I'm tempted to call the office and change to 250.

Overthinkers R Us over here.

One Week Away and Riding a Rollercoaster

Had you asked me two days ago how I felt about having surgery next week, I would have said that I was ready to cancel. My cold feet had become frigid icebergs. I was not feeling an ounce of excitement, just worry and panic. Lots and lots of worry and panic. I'm better today. I'm feeling excited today. And it was funny because my husband has seen my panic and apprehension this week and today when he came from work he said "if you don't feel excited, then let's not do this. I don't feel good about you doing something you're not excited about." And I smiled and said I was and that I felt much better today. So... Rollercoaster.

One week from tonight will be my last with my natural chest. I did a very cleansing yoga practice tonight (108 sun salutations to welcome the change in seasons) and I think it's given me a very even-keeled outlook, which I welcome so much right now! Feeling peaceful again. Starting tonight, I feel like the countdown really begins. One more yoga class. One more BodyCombat class. One more TRX class and then I won't be heading to the gym for a while. One more week...

I did end up asking my babysitter to come on the morning of the surgery. I didn't see the point in taking my son to the hospital and having my hubs do all that driving back and forth. I caved and told her. I'd asked her to come at 5am and said it was because I was having an outpatient procedure and her look just made me buckle!! Gah! I guess she'd know sooner or later.

Anyway, that's the scoop at the moment! I have my post-op bra, neck pillow, Bandinis, bendy straws, button up jammies, and I just ordered Thera-Pearls ice packs (shaped like peas!) I'll drop off my prescriptions tomorrow. And I have books! Oh my goodness, I'm actually looking forward to recovery just so I can read! I hope I'm not too loopy to do that. Anyone read the Outlander books? I'm on the second one and I can't get enough! :-) Haha!

Okay, I'm really excited now!

I'm excited!! I'm sitting here in my post-op bra and 250 sizers and they look amazing and I'm excited. That's all. Have a great night!

I'm Ready. Let's do this.

I have my supplies. I just need to pick up my meds next week. I got my brows done, hair cut, and I have a massage scheduled for Tuesday. I'd bought a Groupon for a massage and all of a sudden realized I probably wouldn't be able to use it for a while after surgery. What better time than two days before?! Here's a pic of all the post-op goodies I've purchased. Now I'm just nesting and cleaning like when I was pregnant, but with two young kids I'm like a dog chasing his tail... I feel like I'm getting nowhere! Although, I did unpack some boxes in the basement from our move in March, so that was a success! I think I've vacuumed every day since last Wednesday. I'm a hopeless clean freak, but I really feel the most sane when I have clean floors. It's my own personal happy place! I'm already wondering about how my husband will handle kids (school, soccer, baths, bedtime), meals, cats, and house without me for a few days... yikes!

I feel so boobie conscious lately! Everywhere I go, I'm eyeing cute ones, small ones, big ones, cleavage, no cleavage and trying to judge cc's!! Has anyone else done that? I think my last remaining stress is still the size. I'm just so worried about going too big... BUT everyone (husband, husband's friend who is a PS, my PS, doctor's receptionist, some of you guys here) have all said I would be best going just over my comfort zone of 250 by staying at 275. I hope so! Sometimes, I just want to call the office and say PLEASE have 250s on-hand for the day-of just in case I change my mind about the 275s.

Now back to enjoying this amazingly gorgeous fall day. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Two more sleeps...

Eeek!! I still can't believe I'm doing this! I bought my Hibiclens today and pick up meds tomorrow morning. I've kind of given up on my housework. I was driving myself crazy. My husband can run a dishwasher and do a load of laundry... (Folding is questionable! Haha!).

You all know I'm stressing over the size... Well, I thought a lot about it this weekend and my gut is truly saying 250. So, I talked the office manager at the PS office yesterday and she said we could have both 250 and 275cc available for the day of SX. That made me feel such relief. Even if I do end up going 275 after talking with the doc again, at least I know the option was there to reconsider.

I've been talking about this a lot with my two closest friends (the only ones who know other than my husband and babysitter) and although they both think it's out of character for me (so called yoga, healthy, natural girl), they are both SO supportive and I'm so very grateful for lending their ears and encouragement. I hope each of you have at least one friend to confide in. I was so nervous to tell them and they have both said they love me unconditionally, so of course they'll support me. And we are constantly evolving beings. I can still be yoga healthy girl with great fake boobs. Defying labels!! :-)

At the recommendation of VenusInVegas, I've taken a bunch of before pics. Here they are!

It's tomorrow!

Holy cow! Tomorrow!! Now I'm in go-mode: make food for the kids, getting packages sent, bank run, pharmacy run, laundry, etc... I think I'm ready!

Had a slight panic this morning when I woke up at 5:00am and thought it was today and not tomorrow. Couldn't fall back to sleep thinking about all the things I need to get done today. And I have to decide if I'm going to my yoga class tonight. When I do go, my husband puts the kids to bed and I might want to stay home and do that tonight. One last comfort before the long weekend of recovery. We'll see.

Oh my god... Deep breaths!!!

Goals... And soup!

Thinking this afternoon about what I want out of this procedure. My goals are:

To look smoking in a bikini
To gain fullness lost through breastfeeding
To feel confident in the bedroom again and not hide myself under a t-shirt
To actually want to wear the gorgeous lingerie my husband's bought me
To not be obviously larger than the padded bra I've been wearing

After googling how to naturally detox from anesthesia, I read that the cabbage family helps. I'd already planned to make the classic 80's style cabbage soup diet soup today so I ramped it up with double the cabbage and ad libbed a few other veggies, too. It's one of my favorites and loaded with veggies! I have a double recipe ready for this weekend and plan to make blackberry bran muffins with the kids tonight so my guys have an easy go-to meal for me and momma-made snacks for them.

I know I've probably read it a hundred times in other reviews, but when should I expect to be among the land of the living again? Other than exercise, when were you guys back to doing the normal stuff like dishes and making lunches and driving?

I did it!

There was a little part of me that didn't think I would actually go through with it, but I'm here on the other side! I doing well! Some pain and I'm tired, but can't seem to sleep. My husband is taking wonderful care of me and my daughter was such a trooper after 6 hours at the hospital with daddy! Here's my day and a post-op bandage shot.

4am - get up and shower again. Didn't sleep at all last night. Maybe two hours...
5am - leave for Philly with husband and daughter. Babysitter will get my son on the bus.
6-7:15 - pre-op registration, IV, preg test, etc. IV was the worst part of my morning. I hate needles!
7:15 - meet with anesthesiologist. She took one look at the death grip I had on my pillow and had me in tears as she talked me through the process. She was so sweet and comforting.
7:20- final review and mark up with PS. Told him my size fears and while he listened and validated my worry, he said he wouldn't recommend less than 275 for my frame. 275 it is!
7:30- wheeled to OR, took two deep breaths and lights out!
9:15- PS met with husband to say all was well.
10:30- started coming-to in recovery. Very heavy, tight feeling. Short of breath, thirsty. Was given pain meds in drip and ice chips. Pain was a 4-5 out of 10.
11:30- moved to secondary recovery and joined husband and daughter. Had juice and graham crackers. Pain came on again and took 1/2 Percocet followed by other half about 45 minutes later.
12:30- changed into pajamas and loaded for home.
1:45- arrived at home. Potholes and sharp turns are a bitch.
Now - resting in bed. Pain is a 2-3 with occasion 6's in left lower breast. I'm taking oxycodone (generic for Percocet) for pain. Had a bowl of soup about an hour ago. Hoping to sleep once kids and hubs leave for soccer.

All three of my nurses at Bryn Mawr were so wonderful!!! Reassuring, encouraging, and understanding. It also felt good to know that one had already used my surgeon for malignant mass removal and another planned to for an eye lift!

Getting drowsy... Thank you all for your kind words! Xoxoxo

Feeling like a wuss.

Hello ladies! I'm laying in bed here on day two post-op. Or is it day one? Surgery was yesterday, so I'd think that today is day two... I'm in pain. I'm taking oxycodone every six hours, but I start to hurt again after about 4 hours or so. I have a muscle relaxer for bedtime and that seemed to work well last night. I slept from about 10 to 5am. Pain woke me up. The oxy makes me drowsy, so I've had a few small naps, but I feel like I can't fully fall asleep.

Anyway, I had my follow-up with the PS this morning and he said surgery went very well and he's happy with how they look. I am, too, so far! I am very relieved that they don't look too big. He removed the ace wrap and I saw them in full glory (yay!) and he helped me into my zip front sports bra. He said I could resume normal activity with the exception of exercise. I absolutely do not feel ready to do anything yet! If I use my arms at all, I get a pain in my breast. PS is very adamant against icing and does not recommend massage. It's strange how doctors have such differing ideas. He said as fall as pain, swelling, and emotions, it's going to get worse before it gets better. :-(

Today they feel as tight as yesterday and are itchy at the incision site. I haven't looked at the incisions at all. I'm actually afraid too move much period, so I haven't taken off the sports bra since it was put on. When I gain the courage, I'll share some pics. Hope everyone is doing well! TGIF!

Hot Mess

I'm bloated, crabby, greasy-faced, and itchy!! Nervous about, but can't wait for that first shower. Other than that, everything is great!

Day Two Pics

Ahhhh... Had a shower this morning. So nice!! I also inspected the girls closely for the first time. I feel they're a bit bigger than I'd wanted, but hopefully the swelling will go down to a size I'm more comfortable with. I have the spongebob squareboob look at the moment. I got through my shower great and the pain is minimal now. I'm not due for another pain pill for 1/2 hour, so that's a good sign! I slept great last night. I thought back sleeping would be torturous. I'm usually on my side or stomach.

My husband says they look great! He's at soccer with the kids and I'll be taking it easy again today. For your TMI update, I haven't felt constipated even though I haven't gone since Thursday. I've been eating cabbage soup, bran muffins, and Naked green juice, hoping that those will keep me moving.

I'm numb on the bottom half of each breast. My left is more swollen and tight. My sternum is slightly sore and the itching is down since my shower. I'm feeling miles ahead of where I was yesterday!

Day three - this too shall pass.

I think I've just entered the "holy shit what have I done" phase. Maybe it's that they are still swollen and I'm freaking about the size or maybe it's because I miss holding my kids and being able to care for them, but it's hit me that I have made a drastic change to my body. I desperately want to get to the phase where my breasts feel like a natural part of me. I keep reminding myself of that mantra that works so well with kids: "this too shall pass". Maybe it's a bit of the boobie blues I'm feeling now.

As far as recovery, I don't feel pain this morning except when I overextend my arm or try to push/pull. I was due for another oxy at 6am and I haven't taken it. I'd like to get off the pain pills today. So far, I'm doing well. I'm doing easy things around the house like helping get the kids dressed or cleaning up a bit here and there and I don't feel I've overdone it. We plan to take a trip out to the farmers market this afternoon. I'm craving these amazing food truck fish tacos! It'll be great to get some fresh air.

My right boob has a weird tugging sensation across the bottom when I sniffle or sneeze. My left feels a little higher and tighter than the right still, but both feel a tiny bit more settled this morning.

I still haven't gone to the bathroom, so maybe I'll have some smooth move tea after our outing today. I don't feel uncomfortable, but my belly is bloated.

Hoping my melancholy mood passes soon...

Making progress and the opposite of boob greed.

I don't regret doing the BA, but I do regret going with 275. They feel so large and unnatural on my chest. My goal was to have a nice minimal enhancement and I feel like I have giant knockers. I hope with all my might that they chill out and end up looking smaller than they do now. I feel bad because I should be over the moon right now and it makes me feel I'm being ungrateful for all my husband has done to make this happen. He has been so amazing! I know I need to give it time... I just feel like they aren't going to go down enough and I'm going to look ridiculous. I'm on pins and needles waiting for the swelling to subside.

On the plus side, I haven't had a pain pill since Saturday night and I've been able to participate in the goings-on of the family again. I had a cup of Smooth Move last night and it did help with the constipation. The only thing I'm still taking drug-wise is a muscle relaxer at night. My husband is back to work today. I was able to get my son off to school this morning just fine: making breakfast, packing a lunch, etc. I find the most discomfort when I raise my arms or try to push or pull anything heavy. Doors can be tough. The wiping motion of cleaning the table or countertops is weird, too. I'm sleeping on my back and it's not the best. I keep trying to roll to my side while sleeping and it wakes me up each time. I'm not a back sleeper at all. I also try to stretch unconsciously during the night and then get a super sharp pain in my breast. Otherwise, I love that I'm able to be more normal around my kids again and we're going to take it easy this week. I have another follow up appt on Friday that I should be able to drive myself to. That's the scoop for now!

Other symptoms

There are a few symptoms I wanted to mention for those who have yet to go through surgery, some if them are mentioned often here, other not so much. I understand they're all normal. Just wanted to share: I have tingling, tugging, itching, and numbness on my breasts. I often walk or sit slightly hunched as if I'm trying to protect my chest. When I notice it and push my shoulders back and down, I feel much better. I get winded easily (like when going upstairs) and I feel greater tightness and swelling in my chest after being up and around for a while. It's a good reminder to slow down. I tire easily and have needed a nap every day since the BA. Since I'm not using my full range of motion, my back feels like it needs to crack, but I'm afraid of twisting yet. I usually crack my back all the time! I have some bloating even though I've gone to the bathroom, but that's a normal bodily response after surgery. Lastly, I have tingling in my right hand and lower arm. It's down in the pinkie and fourth finger and up through the wrist from there. I've researched online and it's called ulnar nerve entrapment. It could last for a few days-weeks, but any longer and you should talk to a doctor. All of these symptoms are normal!

A boobie goodnight

Not a great photo at all. I'm worn out from my first full day of being mom again. They are high and tight tonight and I felt like my bra was squeezing the life out of me. So here they are just hanging out while I settle in with book. Night!

Side view

Random thoughts on Day five.

This morning I woke up with noticeably less swelling. Woohoo!!! And then I promptly destroyed all that goodness by doing the dishes and cat litter and running after kids and yada yada yada. So... I'm swollen and tight again, but hey, baby steps!! When I woke up, I palmed both breasts as I have every morning for almost my entire adulthood. What can I say? Even when they were small, I liked to hold them. And anyway, they didn't feel so big!! Yay! I was so happy. I think I will love them.

I think I'm allergic to whatever antiseptic cleanser they used in the OR. I have teeny tiny little whiteheads all over my chest. Or maybe it's from this sports bra. I washed it before I wore it, though. Hmmmm.

My husband is so happy with this size. He's been just awesome at lifting my spirits. I can't wait until he can play with them! ;-). I think I'll try some different clothes on later and get pics up. Right now, though, my little girl is snuggled up close. Time for our nap.

Oh, the joys of a hot bath and a shave!

Good grief, I was turning into a werewolf with all that leg hair!! :-D

Feeling pretty good today. I "almost" slept on my side last night. I mean, I was able to turn slightly to each side without a painful tugging in the side of the breast. I really can't wait to sleep normal again.

I'm still eating my cabbage soup and drinking my green juice to get all those healthy veggies into me. Also taking my probiotic and multivitamin. I think I'll have another cup of the Smooth Move tea today, though. The first time I had it, I went four times the next day and nothing since then, even though I've been eating prunes. My bloat was gone and now it's back.

We went out to dinner last night and I'm still an invalid. I need my husband to open/close the car door and help with my jacket. Hey... Isn't that what men should be doing anyway?!? I am able to fasten my own seat belt again.

I haven't experienced morning boob yet. I actually think I have the opposite. I feel tight and achy more at night, but the best in the morning. I think it's my muscle relaxer (Flexeril) that I've been taking at bedtime. Only four left... Oh no!

If I take my time getting there, I have full range of motion. It's when a movement is quick or jarring that I find it uncomfortable. The tingling in my hand/lower arm is gone. I haven't noticed it for a couple of days. I've not tried driving yet and as far as that's concerned, I feel no rush. I don't mind hibernating on these dreary October days.

Here's a few pics: my incision sites, the grey dress (see also before shot), and in normal clothing.

Tank top.

And since I got myself into a tank today, here's another shot.

Smooth Move

Sorry for all the separate posts, but thought I should note what Smooth Move is. It's an organic herbal tea made by Traditional Medicinals. It's a senna stimulant laxative, caffeine free. It's supposed to work in 6-12 hours. My grocery store carries it.

One week pics and boob rush.

It's been a week! I feel like my swelling is a lot better today, but my boobs are very full in the upper pole. I have so much settling to do!

So, you know when you stand up and get a head rush sometimes? Well, I feel that same feeling in my boobs! When I get out of bed in the morning or when I stand up from crouching, it feels like all the blood rushes to my boobs! It's so weird.

Physically, I'm getting around to about 90% of what I normally do. I haven't vacuumed (which is driving me craaaaaazzzzy) and while making dinner last night I realized some new limits like opening jars and lifting a pot to drain noodles. My husband came home from work just in time to help. I also can't comfortably cut my pineapple into bites. I should have done that pre-op.

Mentally I have ups and downs. I feel the best when I'm going about the day to day and I'm the worst at night when I can't get comfortable or when I'm not able to do something and I just wish I was back to normal already.

I have my one week check up tomorrow and will update again then. For now, here are some one week pics!

The Suit

A few of you have asked where to get the one piece suit that I'm surprising my husband with, so I'll put the details here in one place. It's from Sheridyn Swim of Australia. It's called the Belladonna and is on sale for $19.90 right now! Just add shipping. (Do I sound like an infomercial yet??) I have it in Titanium, which looks a lot like gold on the site. The sizing is Australian, so check a conversion chart online. I've put links below. I found that it was best to use a chart with actual measurements because so many US clothiers use vanity sizing. For example, I'm pushing 5'4" and weight 117. I typically buy a size 2 or 4 depending on the brand, BUT if you take my measurements, I'm officially a size 6 on the US charts, which is a size 10 AU. Take a look at your current swimsuits and see what size they are. Most of my swimsuits actually are a size 6. I bought the Belladonna suit in a 10. Now that I have my boobs, I almost wish I'd bought a 12 because the straps that go over your chest and tie in back are too short, in my opinion. It still works, but I'd like a bit more material to work with. It feels tight. I also bought the Kara bikini (the aqua blue one with the ruffles). The cool thing with this brand is you can buy tops and bottoms in different sizes. I have a 10 top, which will be great once I D&F and I bought a 12 bottom for my junk in the trunk. They fit perfect. There it is! Happy Shopping! :-)


Size chart: http://www.asos.com/au/infopages/SizeGuide/pgesizechart.aspx

One week follow up appt

I'm on day 8 and feeling pretty great! Anything I've wanted to do, I've been able to - hanging laundry, putting away our home milk delivery, opening car doors, all which I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing a few days ago. My swelling is down and discomfort rare - just weird twinges here and there. There are definitely things I won't do yet, like pick up my kids or heavy duty cleaning.

I had my one week follow up today and thought I'd share my list of questions/answers:
What to you think of the shape? He said he thought the swelling was about gone, but the shape will continue to change and gave me a compression exercise to do twice a day. I'm to use both hands and apply pressure to the top of the breast (making the bottom bubble out - weird feeling!!) and hold for 5 seconds 20 x each side morning and night. No massage, just this exercise to encourage the implant to drop.

What about scar care? I'm to remove the steri-strips in about a week if they don't fall off on their own and then use silicone sheets like Curad brand for three months. No scar creams or anything else. Just remove the silicone sheets when I shower and put them back on.

How long for the zip up sports bra and then what can I wear? I wear this one for about three weeks total and then I can wear any bra I want, but try to stay away from underwire that pushes up for a while.

If I have discomfort, should I back off or try to power through? Take it easy for three weeks, then anything goes, including any and all types of exercise.

Should I stay away from pectoral exercises? No, just wait three weeks.

Am I okay to sleep on my side? Yes, do whatever is comfortable, even on your stomach is okay.

He finished by saying that they looked good - good symmetry and size. Said size won't go down from here, but shape will change. I'll continue to feel pains and twinges as the nerves regenerate, etc. All is good!

Day 9 is where it's at!

My boobies are feelings amazing today! No pain, no swelling at all! They're softening! Ahhhhhhh...

That said, I've taken a leap and vacuumed!! Woohoo!!! It's the little things that make me happy and clean floors make me very happy! They were so gross after a week and 1/2 with two kids and a cat.

So these exercises (they're not really "exercises" as much as just mashing my tatas down) are so awkward feeling. My bottom boob poofs out and it just feels weird. Me no likey. My boobs get all achy afterward and I was making so much progress! I guess I have to do them... For those who massage, do you feel the same?

Evening Update

Since writing my last post, I didn't want you thinking my swelling was completely gone. This was the most normal day I'd had yet and the swelling stayed away until about 5:00 this evening. After dinner, once I sat down and relaxed a bit, the swelling went back down. Just sitting here now doing my boobie squishies and cheering on the Tigers!!

Little story: We had a friend over tonight for dinner and as he and I leaned to hug on the right side, I actually placed a hand on his left shoulder to brace myself and make sure he didn't smoosh the boobs! I hope he didn't think that was weird! Haha!

Photos day 9

Making progress!

About last night...

I'd forgetten to note that I stopped taking my muscle relaxers three nights ago. I forgot one night and realized it when I saw the bottle on my bathroom counter the next morning. I did really well that night so I thought I may as well quit them all together. Besides, They made me drowsy and cut my nighttime reading short. ;-)

I've also progressed to sleeping on my right side!! This is a major breakthrough! I'm able to fully face to the right and hitch my left leg over. What a difference it makes! One day I hope to be able lay chest down again, too. I can't face to the left yet. I get weird and uncomfortable twinges on the left side. I also have had a very sharp pain just about once every night on my left boob when I unconsciously try to stretch my left arm. It feels like my boob is splitting in two. It's awful. It doesn't do it during the day, just when I'm sleeping.

Hope you all got your beauty sleep last night!

Detox or something else?

I said in a comment below just now that it feels as though I take three steps forward and two steps back sometimes. Today is a one of those days.

On my high from feeling great yesterday, we planned our first family outing since surgery (other than a dr appt) for today - a local fall festival. I showered, got ready (oh, to break out the fall boots!) and we set off. Unfortunately, we've had a lot of rain and we didn't know until getting there that they'd cancelled the festival. So, we went grocery shopping since we were already out. Man, did I swell up! Ugh. So uncomfortable. It really took me by surprise. I'm taking it easy now, snuggling with my daughter as she naps. It's getting better, but it was a big half-halt (sorry, horse riding term) that just because I feel okay, I still have limits. I am only 10 days out.

Anyway, about the detox title: I was on such a high from side sleeping last night that I forgot to tell you about this- I wonder if I went through the physical release of the anesthesia toxins last night or if it was something else. Here's what happened - all of a sudden, I have a massive headache, I'm nauseated, I feel dizzy. It was so out of the blue. It lasted a few hours and then it was over just as quickly as it came on. I felt a lot like I do the first couple of days into a detox cleanse. It wasn't a reaction to any drugs, because I've been off everything for 3 days. I'm drinking lots of lemon water today to try to flush my system, but it had me thinking about whether I was actually detoxing (10 days later??) or if it was something else. Hmmmm.... Anyone else have that happen?

Sizer vs. Actual

Here is a side to side photo of the 250 sizers (left pic) next to my actual results with 275cc to show the loss under muscle. I think the shape of the sizer caused an appearance of more projection, but they're pretty darn close!

Day 11


I had a post three paragraphs deep written just now and my daughter walked up and hit the back button on my mouse. Argh...

Here I am at day 12. I feel good. I don't think I really have morning boob at all. I mean, I'm not exactly sure what that is, but they don't hurt or feel any different in the morning than any other time of the day. They actually feel better because I've tended to start swelling as the day goes on. Every since day 9 when I said the swelling was better, I haven't woken up with it, but it does come as I'm active through the day. And I do stay busy... I'm trying to keep my house in order, make the meals, art projects with the kids, etc. It's frustrating at times that I'm not 100%, but I'm not really holding back that much. I'm just not doing anything that's beyond my "take it easy the first three weeks" limitation, like carrying the cat litter or the vacuum upstairs, things like that. I know I get worn out by 8pm or so and am ready to chill, so I just don't fit as much into a day as I'm used to.

Yesterday, I had a pins and needles feeling for a few hours. Just the nerve synapses, I imagine. Later in day, it felt like the surface of my breasts were raw. I don't think I overdid it in terms of physical activity, but yesterday I got pretty crabby because my back was sore, my boobs felt hard and raw, and my bra was pulling on my shoulders so bad. I can't wait to go braless!

I feel like my breasts are far apart and in my armpits. I have a pretty wide gap between them and a lot of side boob. I hope this changes when they drop and soften. I'd love to close the gap just a bit and not feel like I'm pushing my boob every time I move my arm - or maybe this is just what it's like for women with bigger breasts! Their arms touch them! :-) I also don't think the shape has changed much since they were done. I mean, when they're not swollen they look different, but I still have so much roundness at the top. I don't feel they're dropping at all, yet.

Some things I really look forward to are getting back into a workout routine and getting back to normal in the bedroom. This almost two weeks off has made me feel like a blob and it's drained my energy, too. My husband and I have been very active at our gym this past year and it's hard to see him getting ready and going to class, especially to the class we go to together, which was yesterday, and it makes me sad because I may not actually be able to do that class at all anymore. It's a TRX class, which does burpies, chest presses and flies, push ups, etc. My PS said I'd have no exercise restrictions, including pec work, but I know from other reviewers that it just felt awkward and uncomfortable with the implant under the muscle. We'll see. I have a TRX strap at home so I can practice some exercises before signing up for class again. I'm also curious to know how yoga will go for me, as I've read mixed reviews from BA girls. Some get right back into it without a problem and others didn't feel they could do some of the poses. I've been a yogi for 15 years, so that's one thing I won't give up. One class I don't think I'll have any trouble with is BodyCombat. It's a mixed martial arts cardio class and is so much fun!! It's a great release with all the kicks and punches, good music, just a good rush. Those were the three things I did each week and I miss them!! I think I'll take a bike ride with my girl today and get some sunshine and fresh air to feel better.

So, in the bedroom... when did you BA alumni get back in the groove again? My husband is afraid to break me. Actually calls me his "lame duck". It was funny for a while, but I'm so eager to cuddle and play. We did get frisky once, but I was uncomfortable and it wasn't great. We are usually GREAT together. I want that back! Pardon my saying this, but I'm ready to be groped again! ;-)

So, I guess today's post is all about impatience... I want them to drop and soften. I want to be supermom. I want to workout. I want to go to Funkytown. I'm like a little kid saying "Are we there yet?????"

All engines go!

We revved back up under the covers and I didn't have any boobie pain! Woohoo! Momma's back in action!

And I drove for the first time since surgery today! There's no reason why I waited so long. I just didn't feel the need to go anywhere and over the weekend, my husband drove. It was almost perfectly normal, only felt a little tugging near my pits on the sharper turns. I volunteered at my son's school. Spent two hours copying, cutting, and stapling projects for the teacher. I didn't have any swelling afterward and I feel great still! My biggest complaint today would just be my sports bra weighing heavy on my shoulders. I took it off to wash it and the bandini is super comfy for the meantime.

I'm religiously doing my squishy massages and sure hope to see some progress there soon. I wonder if I should ask about a strap. I seem to be the only one who's PS doesn't use them... And speaking of PS, most of you seem to have 6 week check ups. After my one week appt, he said I don't go back for 3 months! It really does baffle me how different each of our post op instructions are.

Sweet dreams, Boobieland!

More before and after and a VS Biofit test

Post op bra

I never did post a pic of my post op bra. I've been wearing this max support zip front sports bra by Champion since day one. I bought a 34 C and my PS said it's perfect. I wear this for one more week. Despite how it feels at the end of the day lately when my shoulders are sore, I love this bra. It's a love/hate relationship! If I have it off for a while, it feels so good to put back on and have the right support for the new girls.

Post Op Instructions, OCD, and opinions that matter.

I had a few more follow up questions for my PS yesterday. Here they are with answers. Thanks, Grace54, for getting the conversation started!

1. Do I wear my sports bra at night? I had originally thought he said to, so I was and that was correct. Yes, wear it 24/7 except when showering.

2. How long do I wear the bra for? Three weeks. (Just confirming that one as that's what I thought he said at post op appt.)

3. For how long do I do my squishies (compression exercises)? 6-8 weeks.

4. Do you ever suggest a compression band? It's not something he usually prescribes, except in necessary cases.

I overdid it yesterday... I'd been feeling so good and the leaves in the pool were driving me crazy, so I cleaned them out. Not the wisest decision. I was pretty sore later. We're having a new cover made for the pool and in the meantime, my OCD was getting the better of me. Ahh, well. Lesson learned. Feeling great this morning again.

I'm having one of the two friends I've told about my BA over this weekend. I'm kind of nervous to show her! She's been 100% supportive, but I don't know... Her opinion matters to me and I'm feeling a little self conscious. She's not one to sugar coat anything, so she'll tell me exactly what she thinks.

I was asked in a conversation below and in a PM how I'm feeling about them lately, so I'll update here, too. I do still feel they're a little foreign, particularly when I shower (they're just so THERE!) and when I'm trying to sleep. I'm able to comfortably sleep on both sides now, it's the adjustment of getting them positioned right, when before it didn't matter. There wasn't anything there to adjust! When I pass a mirror, I think they look completely normal on me and sometimes I have to hold them to confirm it's not that old padded bra I'm seeing. :-)

Do I like them? Yes. Do I love them? Not yet, but I will. I think I'll love them when I (hopefully) get that nice full lower pole and natural slope that I desired from my wish pics. Do I still wish I'd gone smaller? Yes, but it's okay. I'm not upset or unhappy about it. It's just that I'd feel more comfortable and more "myself" with a little less. That said, we're all our own worst critic and I need to shut her off. She's a pain in the ass sometimes. :-). I've heard nothing but how great they fit my body and ya know what? I believe you guys. And I believe my husband, who LOVES them. And I believe my best girls who won't lie to me. It's all good! ;-)


I just texted my friend and told her I was nervous for her to see the girls tomorrow. I get this back: "Non judgement, it's doesn't exist in many places but I always hope that you know that for us that's what our friendship is."

Feeling loved.

Ya know what I love about nap time?

Momma gets to try on old clothes. Dang, it feels good to put these old frocks on again... With boobs!

Scars Unveiled

My PS said to remove the steri-strips a week after my post op visit, which would've been Friday. I was chicken so I didn't do it until after my shower this morning. The incisions look pretty good! I'm to use silicone scar strips for three months. I bought Scar Away brand at Rite Aid for around $20. I keep the strips on 24/7 with the exception of showering. I'm not supposed to any creams or anything else. Here's my first view of the incisions!

Fall cleanse and Thoughts on Not Jumping Right In

In two days I'll be "all clear" for any and all activity at 3 weeks post-op. Woohoo! What a great feeling that will be! I'm thinking now about my strategy for easing into fitness again. I think I'll start with some gentle yoga, biking, and try some of the non-arm or chest related exercises on the TRX strap. As much as I'd love to jump right in and go back to my classes at the gym, they're intense and I don't think that's a good idea at all. I'm going to work my way in easily and steadily. I'd like to sign up for TRX again after the holidays as well as a swim class with my daughter and I'm hoping to get back into BodyCombat at 6 weeks. Maybe sooner. ;-)

I've definitely fallen off the wagon this week in terms of my normal healthy eating. I usually do once the weather turns colder... I know this about myself. I lean right into heavy comfort foods. I like to do a cleanse with the change of the seasons and I didn't as fall approached this year, mostly because I just got too busy and juicing takes a lot of time (for me anyway, while caring for two young kids). So, it's time to get mentally and physically in shape again! I'll be gathering my recipes for juices and healthier comfort foods like pumpkin and squash-based soups, kale dishes, etc.

Gotta gear up for a smokin' Halloween costume! Anyone else excited to show off the girls a little bit this Halloween??

Day 12 pics. The beginning of d&f!

Hey girls! Here are some pics from last night. I'm religiously doing my squishy massages and I'm seeing a tad bit of progress, I think! The left is starting to drop more than the right. I'm right handed, so ya know... Makes sense. You can see in the side view that I still have more upper pole fullness in the right boob. I definitely don't feel they're in my throat anymore and I'm feeling like they're more "mine" everyday. In fact, the foreigness I would feel while showering or sleeping is nearly gone. As far as sensations, I had a deep throbbing in the bottom right side of my right one yesterday, which I felt more strongly while pressing the implants down. It's gone today. I've never lost nipple sensation; in fact they've been kind of off the charts with extra sensitivity. I have numbness through the bottom half of both boobs. No more soreness, but I do swell occasionally after a lot of activity and my pec muscles just LOVE to give my implants big bear hugs! I feels like the muscle is seizing right around my whole boob. A booby Charlie horse, only it doesn't hurt, so I liken it more to a bear hug. :-) I don't feel them bouncing or jiggling yet. I can't squish them together at all. Still pretty darn hard. I don't see them d&f'ing nearly as fast as some others on here, but I do have strong chest muscles and I'm doing exactly as my PS recommends. Changes are slowly coming and I'm happy with that. :-)

Three Weeks Out

Hi lovely ladies of boobieland!

Today is three weeks exactly since my surgery and was the day I was told I could resume doing anything I wanted to do: exercise, ditch the zip up sports bra, etc.

So, what did I do you ask? Did I go out and buy new bras? Nope. Did I try doing yoga or going for a run? Nope. I spent the day on a field trip with my son at the apple orchard/pumpkin patch FREEZING my girls off!!! Cold weather on new boobs is NOT nice! They were tight and shivering and my muscles were spasming. It seriously took me hours to warm up again. I couldn't even bear soccer practice tonight, so my husband went solo with my son. Ugh... winter is coming. (Get it GoT, fans? Har har.)

Here are my thoughts on my new-found freedom:
1. I'm a little bit nervous to give up the sports bra. It's snug. It's supportive. It's become my security blanket. I might tried to wear a bandini tomorrow during the day, but I'll still be sleeping in this one for a few more nights at least. I appreciate the support it gives me at night, particularly since I'm sleeping on my sides again so well.

2. I've said it a few places, but I'm not ready to jump into exercise yet. I will start with some light stretching at night after the kids are in bed and see how that goes. As much as I miss my workouts, I'm totally okay with taking my time and doing this right. The thought of messing anything up terrifies me and I've always erred on the side of caution anyway.

3. I'm excited to take a fully submerged bath! Woohoo!! My salts and essential oils are calling me tonight. Warm. Me. Up.

Rest well, lovelies!

Humbled while stretching

I've just tried to do a few arm stretches and it was really humbling. first I lay on the floor with my arms stretched out to each side in a T. It was tight, but not painful. Then I tried to slide my arms along the floor over my head while laying down still and I seriously only got to about 10 and 2 on the dial before the tightness over the top of my breasts felt like too much. It felt like my pecs just wouldn't release to allow my arms to move up farther. I didn't push it and moved into child's pose with arms outstretched. That I could do okay. It felt really good. Then I leaned up to kneeling and did prayer hands behind my back. That felt great, too. So, sitting this time, I did several arm raises over my head and I can do it, I just can't keep my arms in line with my body, if that makes sense. They come forward as it gets tight over the breast. Lastly, I tried to hold my arms out In front of me while laying on the floor (think Frankenstein arms) and raise them in front of my body and it became very tight under the breasts. I was only able to raise my arms about 2/3 of the way up over my head. It was really surprising how limited the range of motion is. For the veterans, when do you really regain full range of motion?

I showed him the saucy swimsuit!

And his jaw dropped. It's a winner!

It really eccenuates how much farther my lefty has progressed than my right. The right side looks so much more unnatural and is bigger. Gotta keep pushing her down!


I know it's all part of the process, so I'm not worried at all (yet), but I wanted to show how uneven my boobs are this morning. Lefty is nice. Starting to round out a bit on the bottom and not too full on the top anymore. Righty is a different story. She's not afraid of heights. And the bottom looks a little funky. I'm going to give her some extra attention for a while.

Mondors cord, Unevenness, and other Weird Boobie News

I think I have a Mondors cord on my left side. Booooo. This may be why I felt the tightness while trying to raise my arms overhead a few days ago. I noticed it Saturday night. It's not painful, but I notice some discomfort if I overextend my arm. I read it can solve on its own anywhere from two weeks to four months. Mondors cords are inflamed veins that result after surgery, which can cause discomfort. My PS's office is closed today, so I'll give them a call tomorrow about it. I just want to ask them if there's anything I should or shouldn't be doing while I have it.

Righty is still riding high, but I've been working on her. I've posted another pic here (great suggestion HawaiiGirl!) without holding the camera, so you can see the unevenness straight on. I'm still not worried about it, but I hope she makes some progress soon!

In other news about boobie weirdness, my chest has been breaking out in tiny little white bumps since my surgery and I have no idea why. It's been over three weeks, for crying out loud! I've exfoliated and give it extra care in the shower, but they persist. And my nipples are peeling. Hmph.

32 D or DD??

We were out to eat tonight and I figured I'd go get sized since we were at Nordstorms. The woman who sized me could tell right away I'd been augmented and she was very sweet. Asked if I loved my new boobies! Anyway, she measured me at a 32 D or DD!!! There's no way... My PS said I'd be a small to medium C with my 275s. I demand a second opinion.

Mondors Cord Feedback

Good morning, girls! Thanks for your encouragement as I griped about my boob conditions yesterday. I've already heard back from my PS via email about the Mondors Cord and he said they're totally benign. It will resolve in time and I can take ibuprofen if there's pain. Easy enough!

Four Weeks!

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate! The pumpkins are carved, costumes ready, seeds roasted.. ahhh! I love this time of year!! It's my Christmas.

So, how does four weeks feel? I'm getting softer every day, which is such a great feeling! I mean... WOW! They're starting to move!! I can manipulate them a bit, but I can't make cleavage yet. My mondors cord is getting better. I've not yet done any exercise at all to give it the time it needs to heal. I'm feeling a little soft around the middle and a loss of muscle tone, but my eyes are on the prize - long term boobie and body health! I have all winter to hit the gym.

My right side is still high, but I see teeny tiny improvements each day. I want to share an important note - on my right side, you may see that the shape is a bit strange at the bottom toward the breast bone. I'm not surprised by this. While I think it will improve with settling, my right breast has always had a funky shape to the tissue. I'm posting a before photo here so you can hopefully see what I'm talking about. On the right breast, you can see a faint line toward the bottom. That is the natural shape of my breast tissue. It's always been that way, but was more visible after nursing. Right now, I think my implant is making it more obvious, thus the strange shape in my head-on shots on the right side (well... left side on the pics). Implants give us massive improvements, but I think this shows that there are things about our breasts that will always be no matter what. Unless the natural tissue were to be removed, your masterpiece is already started before the surgeon adds his/her magic. Like I said, I hope to see more improvement in the bottom right side with settling, but I know this slight misshapeness (is that a word?) will remain in some way and I'm okay with that.

So what else... I have a pain once in a while on my inner left side. It feels exactly like a clogged milk duct. Just noting it. No big deal. Other than that, I feel great! I'm 100% back into my daily routine with no limitations. Some days are better than others as far the the implants creeping back up into my chest. Today they crept up early, yesterday not at all. I don't think I'm more active today (I was at the park for two hours with my youngest yesterday!), so I'm not sure why one day is different than another. It just is!

I'm sleeping great these days. I'm almost always on my side, but twice now I've woken up *nearly* on my front and it was okay! I've slept the past two nights in my bandini bra, not the sports bra, and it feels good. I'm not ready to sleep without any bra at all yet, but these bandinis are so comfy.

I'm no longer afraid of the kids bumping me and I get lots of spontaneous snuggles now that "mommy isn't sore anymore". Yay!

I replied to a private message about my thoughts on my size yesterday and I'd like to share it here, too. Many of you know I wish I'd gone 250, instead of 275. I still feel that way, but really, I'm not bothered by it and I LOVE my girls. I'm still hoping I'll get closer to my wish pics, but I'm practicing patience. I still think they look fabulous under clothing, but are just a bit too much in the buff or in a bathing suit. I have a long time until summer, so I'm okay with giving them this time to chill out and as Oprah says "become their best selves!" Haha!

I feel like there's more I was going to say, but I'm rushing to type as I leave for my son's Halloween parade at school soon and still have to get ready!

Have a great day, Ladies!

Snoopy profile begone!

Can't wait until my profile doesn't look like Snoopy!

Getting Proactive!

Okay, girls, I'm getting serious about this drop and fluff business now. I'm not using my max support post-op sports bra any more. I've tucked her away until I hit the gym. Since Sunday night, I've been braless - so that was for two overnights and all day yesterday. I'm back to the bandini today because I just felt I needed some support today, running errands and such. Let me tell you, I was so scared to go braless at night, but it was just fine! And I'm sleeping on my stomach!! Woohoo!!!! I will try to go braless a few times a week to help these girls relax a little more.

I also did a little searching around this site for breast massages and although I will not do any massages other than the one my PS requested, I did find a video that illustrated five different massages and the last one (the fifth massage) is the one that I have been doing, but if you watch the video, you'll see that the compression from above the implant is accompanied by a lifting of the breast motion before the press. I like that and I haven't been doing that. I've just been squishing the implant down. I see clearly in the video that it helps to stretch out the under-boob, which is what I feel is my limiting factor right now. So, here is the link: http://www.realself.com/question/massage-breasts-breast-augmentation. I've been doing my massages like this since I found the video yesterday and I know it's making an improvement because the underside of my breasts are a tiny bit sore where the skin is getting a bit more stretched. I'm not pushing crazy, but I am getting more aggressive than I have been. I know that this process could take a while and my PS doesn't do his "after" photos until four months post-op, but I think I've been too easy on myself with my massages and it's okay to step it up a bit.

On a really cool note, I saw a glimpse of the future a few times yesterday. For a few random moments throughout the day (and not for very long), my breasts were 100% completely SOFT. It was so awesome!!! I went running to my husband saying "honey, feel this! It's soft!!" Oh my goodness, I was so happy. And then I got cold and they completely seized up again, but boy those were small moments of glory. Yay!!

Unevenness update

I hate to be a downer on the heels of my last post, which was so positive, but I just noticed this morning that my unevenness seems to have gotten worse... The right breast is so much higher than the left! Here's a pic from this morning. I've contacted my PS. What worries me is that they're both starting to settle well, but the right one is settling much higher on the chest than the left. Even when I do my massages and compress the right, it doesn't line up with the left side. Ugh.

Comfy and sexy.

Scored this super comfy sleep gown at Marshall's yesterday for $15. My new favorite!!

Visit scheduled for Friday.

Well, the doc wants to see me, which I appreciate because I feel a first-hand consult is better than a photo via email. I'm to stop doing compressions on my left side, as she has dropped nicely, but I'm to get more aggressive with the compressions on the right, which is what I have been doing the past few days. The office manager called me back and said I may be prescribed a band and depending on doc's review, I may be put on Singulair for (commence knot in stomach) capsular contracture. I know I shouldn't freak out yet, but I'm a total worry wart and hypochondriac, so yeah, I'm freaking out. After some research online, I found Singulair (the asthma medication) is used "off label" for its anecdotal use in treating CC. I'm not sure how I feel about that... It seems many docs here on RS (in the Q&A section) don't recommend it and mixed results have been noted. Anyway, it may not even be an issue. I REALLY hope it's not. I don't feel like my right side is harder when I squeeze them, but the left has been relaxing more. My right side seizes up more when I'm active or cold. There are the occasional moments of total softness on both sides... Anyway, I'll be back in touch on Friday with a follow up. Wish me luck.

Feeling the love and grateful for you girls.

Just checked in tonight after putting the kids to bed and I'm so overwhelmed by your awesome support here. Thank you, RS girls. It's nice to be here for each other. My gut says this is just a slow-to-drop breast, but I'm glad for my PS's time to check it out and hopefully rule out CC. Saw this funny cartoon the other day and it totally reminded me of how I am when it comes to health matters, especially after my call with the PS office today. Sweet dreams, ladies!

Band and Meds and Compression, oh my!

Doc said there's a bit of thickening on the right side's capsule. I'll be joining those if you with the torture devise known as the strap. I'll continue aggressive compressions. I've been prescribed Singular for three months. Being proactive all around. I'm to report back in a month if I don't see changes in the position of the right side, otherwise I just keep my regularly scheduled four month check up. Heading out to lunch with hubby now. More later...

More on Yesterday's PS Visit re: Unevenness/possible Capsular Contracture

So, it actually could be early capsular contracture that I'm dealing with, which is why the Singulair was prescribed and why the right side feels a little thicker when I do my compressions. I'm not crazy about being medicated at all, especially for an off-label use, but I'll do as prescribed. I'm supposed to be on the Singulair for three months.

I'm using the Marena band and it's not fun. I'm trying to keep it angled down over my right breast without further pushing down the left side, which is tough. I don't want the left side to drop anymore than would be natural with the passing of time. I guess I'm getting used to it, but it made me feel so uncomfortable yesterday. I can imagine after weeks of this, my armpits are going to be raw.

I'm trying to remain optimistic and I'm glad to have a proactive course of action, but I admit I'm feeling a bit down about the whole thing... I was hoping to be one of the lucky ones and I feel like I did everything "right", but goes to show that complications happen regardless. And really, it's not a huge deal yet, so please excuse me if I sound dramatic, but I am a worst-case-scenario thinker and I'm really scared that if things don't resolve, I'll need a revision. The right side looks better than now than in that last photo I posted on the 5th of Nov., but it's still noticeably different.

On the plus side, my husband came with me to my appt yesterday and we had the best day together - lunch out, christmas and birthday shopping for the kids, coffee at my favorite cafe/inspiration store (Terrain at Styer's). It was great! He's so good to me. He really doesn't want me to go under the knife again anytime soon (admitted he had a hard time watching my recovery), so he's on me like a hawk to wear my band all the time already.

Anyway, that's the scoop for now. I'll let you know if there are any changes.

Where I Stand at Six Weeks with Photos

Hi, girls. Sorry I haven't been on much lately. I've really appreciated your notes to see how things are going and to offer your encouragement. I've just bopped in here or there to keep up with your news, but the past week has been crazy. Another field trip with my boy, zip-lining for a friend's birthday (what a blast!!), and on Wednesday, I photographed another friend's home birth for her down in DC. Incredible week!! Now I'm heavily into planning my son's 6th birthday and for family to be in town for Thanksgiving. Life goes beyond boobies! That said, with the exception of knowing how each of you are doing and progressing yourselves, it was nice to have a break from obsessing over boobs. This past week in particular forced me out of my day-to-day and made me realize how much I had been thinking about my own issues and in the big picture... they're boobs!

I think I'm doing well. I see progress on the right, but then I'll photograph my chest and the improvement isn't nearly what I see in front of me. I guess the camera doesn't lie, does it?! I'm wearing the band as often as possible, which is about 20 hours a day. I need a break from it once in a while. Last night, I felt so out of whack through my back and shoulders that I couldn't bear to wear it through the night, so I didn't. I'm wearing it down over the right side, but trying to angle it up over the left, as I don't want that side to be pushed down. I've attached a pic for you to see how it looks.

After waiting several days for approval, my insurance company decided they would NOT cover the Singulair, so I bit the bullet and purchased the generic outright. I thought the point of a generic was to save costs, but the Singulair was $160/mo and the generic was $144... WTF. Anyway, I'm only on day two with that. I'm also supplementing with extra vitamin E as that helps with softening the collagen fibers that create the capsule around the breast. If I do have a conctracture, I'm doing everything in my power to resolve it. Keeping up with my compressions, too.

In other news, I've been asked on here what my BWD was and I just heard back from my PS on that today - I'm a 12. I have no idea what that means, but use it as you may! :-)

Overall, my breasts are definitely softening and feeling great with the exception of some new nerve zingers on the left side that I feel correspond to the use of this band. I didn't have them before the band and they seem to kick in right away if I put the band on after not using it for a bit. I've also had some dull aches on the bottom part of my right breast, but that may just be my skin and tissues stretching out from using the band, as well.

I'm remaining hopeful that the medication, band, Vitamin E and massages will correct my unevenness issue, but if they don't (and if CC is not an issue), I will just live with the difference. As they are now, I don't feel they'd warrant a revision (and it isn't even something my PS and I discussed, I'm just saying it here for the sake of sharing).

On a lighter note, I ordered some cute bralettes on Amazon for a great price and I love them! I bought the mint and grey two pack for $9.79. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DGGG7X4/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i01?ie=UTF8&psc=1. They run VERY small, in my opinion. I can still fit into some of my 34B bras just fine and I ordered the M/L in these. I wouldn't recommend then for support or for large breasts. They have so many color combos... I might have to order another set! :-)

So, overall, I'm doing well. Thanks for your awesome cheerleading! Holding out hope for perfect boobies, but I know from following so many of you here that issue-less and perfect tatas can be harder to attain than we think sometimes. I still would do it all over again, though!

Arms up!

Yesterday I posted the absolute BEST photo I've taken to show the improvement on the right side since starting "Operation Drop Righty", which was after wearing the band all day and taking a nice, hot shower. It usually does sit a bit higher if the band has been off, but it was good to show you as good as I've seen it get so far -which is pretty darn good! I still have a ways to go, as you can see here when I raise my arms. I think this shows the difference "at its worst" at the moment. Thanks for all your kind words. I'm optimistic!

Back from the gym and blissed out!

I'm just back from my first time working out after my BA and it was fabulous!! I went to my Les Mills BodyCombat group class at the Y. It's such an adrenaline rush! I'm usually up front by the mirrors, but this time I hung out toward the back of the class, just in case I'd need to exit for any reason. I was so nervous before the class. I told myself I'd start slowly, but I found my old groove and was loving it and ended up going all out.

What was great about it: moving, punching, kicking, SWEATING. It just felt awesome!

What wasn't so great: upper cuts (just felt a little weird when my boobs shifted up with the punch, so I didn't do those as strongly as I usually do), hanging down for stretches (I do not like when the boobs move up in the pocket), and push ups. I knew push ups would not happen, but I tried anyway to see what they'd feel like. I could only get about 4-6 inches into them. I do hope I'll be able to do them again one day, but this is not that day.

I have a friend who is really wanting me to join her for yoga soon, but I don't feel ready for yoga. I tried a few sun salutations at home and chaturanga was nearly impossible because of the tightness through my pecs. Also, down dog allows the breasts to fall up in the pocket toward my chin and it's just a really yuck feeling. I think I will wait a few more weeks yet.

My PS cleared me to exercise w/o restriction at three weeks, but not only did I not feel ready at all, I developed a Mondors Cord, and then all my stuff began with the right side not dropping. I double checked with my PS on Friday to be sure that exercise wouldn't hold me back with settling and he said I could definitely get back in the gym. I'm currently just over 6 weeks post-op.

Because Mint and Hot Pink

7 weeks!

I was so close! And then lefty migrated south...

I've just been chucking along here - taking my Singulair, wearing my band, massaging the life out of my boobs and I was just about to share new pics a couple of days ago because they were SO CLOSE to being perfectly lined up... and then lefty settled more and we're back to being uneven. The good news is lefty settled more, though, right?! She's looking great! It was so weird. I woke up Sunday morning and I could tell almost immediately that my left side felt different all of a sudden. It was softer and lower slung. My right is just on a different schedule. I hope that my boobs will be in line with each other some day!

Two month update and shoulder popping issue.

Hello, lovelies. I've been an absent RealSelf friend. I've stayed up to date on your stories, but between kids and life, I haven't had much time to respond or update. Then all of sudden, I see 150 new RS emails in my inbox and I must catch up! I just want to say to each of the girls that are struggling with issues, that I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best. If anyone is considering a BA, this group really shows all of the things that can happen (painful mondors cords, bottoming out, riding high, contracture, bumps, slants, healing issues, etc.) and the strength we have in handling them with the support of this community is amazing. You're all pretty fabulous.

I'm so grateful for those who've checked in on my progress. Fingers crossed, but I think they're looking good. It really drives me crazy how nice they look when I see them in the mirror and then I take photos and I still see obvious unevenness, but it's getting better. I'll get you some pics later. I'm still taking the Singulair, but haven't used the strap in a few days. It's been making my back sore and then I get headaches. I really should at least use it at night and will start again once it's out of the laundry!

I got through my family Thanksgiving last week with no one noticing (that I know of anyway!) I didn't wear really snug shirts, like my thermals that are very form fitting and show them off, but I did wear normal sweaters and t-shirts. I saw my sis steal one quick glance when I was stretching, but she didn't say anything and maybe she just thought I was wearing a good bra.

At two months, I'm feeling great, but little things have started to get to me. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful and I feel very confident, but I still can't do a decent push up or chaturanga for yoga and it's starting to worry me. My workouts where very important to me before this and I'm signing up for TRX again after the New Year. I also can't lay face down on my massage table (we have one at home) and I just learned this afternoon that my husband scheduled me a massage at a local salon before Christmas. I will ask for a pillow if I need to because I am not going to cancel that appointment! They don't bounce or jiggle and I feel they look like rocks on my chest (not the nice sloping breasts of my wish pics). I really hope time will help with that. So... feeling a bit ambivalent today. I know it's a phase and it'll pass.

The other thing I want to talk about is my shoulder. I haven't mentioned it here before, mainly because I kept thinking it would resolve, but it hasn't. Ever since my surgery, my right shoulder has been popping at the top of the joint whenever I use that arm in a scrubbing (like cleaning the table or tub) or back and forth motion (like sweeping into a dust pan or using the vacuum wand). It doesn't hurt, but it is bothersome. It 100% started after my surgery and not before. Is it something I should bring up to my PS? (Not that he can really do anything about it...) I've read online that sometimes our arms are placed in awkward positions when we're on the table and I'm sure that's what happened. I'm considering a chiropractor, but will start with a chair massage next week, focusing just on the shoulder and neck on that side.

That's where I stand at two months! I actually feel like it's been much longer, which is weird! Other that these minor issues here, I'm very happy with them. (And for those who stay in touch with me about my feelings re: the size - yes, I still feel they're a little big!) Photos later!

~Two month pics!~

Yoga!! 11 Weeks Post-Op

First I was too sore. Then Mondor's Cords. Then soccer on Wednesday nights with my son. Finally, tonight was my first yoga class!! I felt ready and willing and able. I am so happy to report that there wasn't a single vinyasa or asana I couldn't do (that's movement or pose for non-yogis). I was even able to lay stomach-down to do the move where you clasp both hands behind your back and raise them and lift your chest up. It felt soooo good. The only pose I didn't go fully into was chaturanga, but I was still able to partially do it. This class is one I've been attending for about five years and it can be quite advanced at times, but thankfully (for after having 2-1/2 months off), we did a yin yoga session, which means it was slower paced and we held the poses for many breathes. It was EXACTLY what I needed. Oh, and we started class with the BEST chest opener. If you feel you've been hunching your shoulders over your new breasts or because of the cold weather (for those in the North), this is a great pose. Stand a yoga block on the short side (or anything about 6 inches high that you can rest your back on) and place it between your shoulders while laying down. Then take another yoga block standing on the tall side or something about 9 inches tall for underneath your head and lay on your back. Splay your arms out to the side and just breathe. Ahhhhhh... I could not believe how good that felt.

I am so excited to get back to my full workout schedule again in January. For various reasons, I've only been able to do two BodyCombat classes since my BA at the start of October and I've just felt in a funk without my routine. I've definitely gained weight and my eating habits get poor when I'm not working out. I've signed up for my TRX classes again for Mondays, yoga on Wednesdays, and Combat on Sundays after the New Year. I'm so happy that I did this surgery in the fall so I could have the winter months to get back into my groove. Thinking of you all, lovelies. Xoxo

Progression Photos

I've really appreciated seeing other progression collages and have been meaning to do my own for a while. Here I show front view progression in two collages and also a side view.

I'm very happy with how far I've come. They're still uneven, but I'm exercising patience and it really is amazing to see the changes here. I'm loving how they're starting to settle and get the roundness at the bottom. I like how they're folding over the tiniest bit at the crease. Honestly, I feel like they've both dropped, but one is just a tad higher. I'm still taking the Singulair and will continue to do so at least until my last follow up appt in Mid-January. I'm hit or miss about wearing the band. Lately, I've been wearing it just to bed at night and maybe if I feel like it around the house during the day.

I noticed today while squishing my boobs together that my right side (the one that's higher) pushes much closer to the mid-line of my chest than the left and I'm kind of thinking it could be two things (or a combination of both): 1 - I sleep on my right side 90% of the time and that boob is squished toward the center more. 2 - the angle for which I have to wear the band so that it doesn't push down the left side pushes the right boob down and toward the center. It's not a big deal, but to prevent any more unevenness, I'm going to try to lay on the left side more often.

Just within the past week or so, I've really started to feel much more like they're mine. I even had a full day of shopping and kid activities that made me not even think about them once! That's wild considering I really didn't ever think a moment would go by without thinking boobs. It made me happy.

Okay, there's a novel calling my name. G'night, Ladies!

Doing well with a little bump.

Literally. I've found a lump in my right breast. I found it on the 21st of December and waited until after the busyness of the Holidays to have it checked out. I saw my midwife today (I still go to their practice for my annuals, etc.) and she confirmed it was about the size of a BB or piece of rice, oblong-ish in shape, hard and stationary, near the surface of the skin about 4cm above my right nipple. She wrote me a script for a baseline mammogram and ultrasound of the right breast at the local breast care center, but said I should call my PS and let him know (I had already emailed them and was waiting to hear back before today's appt). I was already scheduled to see my PS on the 17th for a 3 month check up, but my nerves couldn't wait that long.

I called my PS's office to let them know I'd seen my dr. and was given follow up instructions. The office assistant suggested I go ahead and book the mammogram (as it could be weeks before they can fit me in and the sooner the better) and the PS will also examine me to give his thoughts, but she did say that lumps can happen after a BA and while it's great to follow up, it could be a normal side effect. That said, she kindly moved up my appt by 9 days for piece of mind, so I'm seeing my PS on Wed of next week.

Hoping it's just nothing, but you can't blow these things off.

Lots of Updates: Three Month Check Up and Bra Shopping!!!

Today I had my three month check up with my PS and everything is looking great! My right side is looking MUCH better than when he last saw me. Here's the full update:

The lump: it's there. He said it feels like a cyst and I shouldn't worry, but definitely get it checked out. My appt at the breast center is this Friday for bilateral mammogram and ultrasound of the lump. Boy, do I hope I can put this behind me soon. My mind has been racing...

Unevenness: improving nicely, but right still needs to settle more. Continue Singulair for one more month and compressions for a YEAR. What the what?! A year? :-/

Scars: they're still pretty dark. Said to keep using silicone strips for another month. Easy peasy.

My shoulder issue (popping since surgery, but no pain): I told him about it and he was kind of like "eh, it should get better. Just watch it." Okay...

Bras: underwire is okay once in a while, but I still need the right to drop, so don't wear underwires for too long. Go braless, he said. Right on!!!

Chest exercise: because so many girls here say their PS says no chest workouts, I felt I had to ask my PS again about whether I could work the chest (knowing he already told me at my previous visit that I could.) He 100% stands behind doing any and all exercises, even directly to the chest muscles, provided there's no pain. He said there's no reason not to... it doesn't damage the implants. What do you think, girls? Chest or no chest?? I'm going to go for it, but with ease.

At the end of the appt I had my "after" photos taken and OMG, what a difference!!! I can't believe how much I forgot how teeny tiny by itty bitties used to be! I'm LOVING the shape of my breasts so much now that they've dropped and the size is pretty close to perfect for me (a tad big, but only when naked). I'm loving them so much and just want this dang lump thing behind me so I can FINALLY just enjoy my new girls without having to worry about one issue or another.

On the way home, I took the opportunity of having a little time with no kids and got sized at Macy's. My last sizing was at 6 weeks (I know... too early) at Nordstrom's and they said i was a 32D-DD. I'm SO HAPPY to report that I'm now a 32C!!! Woohooo!!! Perfect! I tried some really cute bras on and quickly learned how different the sizing is for each brand, though. With DKNY, I was a solid 32C, but in Calvin Klein, the 32 band was too tight, so I wear a 34B with them. A full B cup! OMG, I'm so happy. I'm really excited to go through all of my old bras (which are 34Bs that haven't fit properly since I had kids) and actually fill them out again! Oh man... Anyway, I also tried a really cute Maidenform bra in 34B and that one was too small. SO, moral of the story is, don't assume your size is an absolute. It's going to vary by brand, style, etc. I ended up buying a sleek and smooth (NOT PADDED) 34B Calvin Klein grey with white lace bra and undies set that I'm in love with. So. Much. Fun.

So, I'm just back from my second yoga class tonight, too, and it was great. Chatarunga is getting better and my boobs are not even noticeable to me at all until I have to lay face down, which doesn't hurt, but just feels weird (exactly like PinkLotus said, it's like laying on balloons and you notice the new space between your breast bone on the ground). It feels like they squish out the sides a whole lot!

This week was my first back to the gym 100% in my old routine: Combat, TRX, and Yoga and it feels sooooo good!!! TRX was tough, but it felt empowering to be able to do so much of what I used to do. I have to say that the muscle group that seems to have suffered the worst in my time away are the abs. Ab work was pretty tough and they're still sore today. Push ups are "meh" right now. I don't do a full push up yet by any means.

Oh, one last update - I had that massage my hubby booked and it was great! I was very careful to position my chest comfortably, but was ready to ask for a rolled towel to put under me, if need be, but I didn't need it. I'm so glad to be able to have massages still. I kind of thought I'd have to give them up after BA. Yay!!

So, now I wait two more days until my mammogram/U.S. and I'll let you all know what they say. Thank you for your encouragement, as always, dear ladies of RealSelf. I'm grateful for each of you and wish you all good things in 2014!!

Hello again, lovelies and Gooooodbye padding!

Tried on my old bras this morning. The ones I've had tucked away since having my first child in 2007. Is it weird I've saved them all this time?

They fit! Here they are! I'm so happy to be able to use them again. They are almost all Victorias Secret 34b.

Not a cyst...

I had my mammogram and ultrasound of the lump this afternoon. It's not a cyst. It's a solid, round, smooth mass which will require a biopsy. I go for a consultation with the surgeon who'll do the biopsy on Tuesday. Once biopsied, they will tell me within a week whether it's benign or malignant. Trying not to freak out, but it's hard.

And thank you

For all the kind thoughts with this lump issue. I'll respond to each of you soon. Heading out now for a mommy/son dance. Hope to clear my head for a bit and have fun with my boy. :-)

Consultation tomorrow

I've been up and down with worrying about the lump the past few days. I go from worst-case scenario thoughts and end up in a puddle of tears (especially when lying with the kids at night) to "it's just nothing". My husband strongly feels it's a fat necrosis from my surgery. It was his first guess after he googled around when I told him I had a lump... He just feels it's too coincidental that I've found a lump so soon after surgery. Here's some detail on fat necrosis from this website: http://breastcancer.about.com/od/whenitsnotcancer/tp/Breast-Fat-Necrosis.htm

What is Fat Necrosis of the Breast?
Fat necrosis is a benign condition that can occur in your breast. It consists of fatty tissue that has been bruised, injured, or has died. Fat necrosis can result after any type of breast surgery, from biopsy to reconstruction. Once fatty tissue has been injured or has died, it can gradually change into scar tissue or may collect as liquid within an oil cyst. Fat necrosis does not lead to the development of breast cancer, but it may sometimes cause breast pain.

I can only hope that's it! That would be wonderful, actually, despite the thousands all these images and ultrasounds and biopsies are going to cost us. We do have insurance, but a high deductable... there's no price on peace of mind, though! I just learned that my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 35 years old and that's my age now. It adds a level of scariness, but thankfully she conquered it and is still doing well into her late 70's.

Tomorrow I have my pre-surgical consult and go from there with scheduling the biospy. I'm so grateful for all of your support. xoxo

Biopsy in a week. Doing well.

Just wanted to bop in and say that the consult was really nothing... just a meeting with the breast surgeon who will do the biopsy to review family history and a quick exam. She actually calmed my nerves and said that only 20% of biopsies are cancerous and she didn't feel I was high risk, so I've been more relaxed since then. Although, I still can't relax 100% until I know, of course.

In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the fact that my boobs feel exactly like they're mine and I'm very happy with them. That's all. Good night!

Lump is benign!!

More tomorrow! Heading to bed. Just wanted to let you all know that the biopsy came back benign. Good grief, I'm so grateful! Much love!!!

You're all so awesome!!

Thanks for all the love this week, RealSelfers. It was a tough one. I thought I was going to go out of my head leading up the biopsy result appt. And the doctor had me sitting in the exam room for an eternity, it seemed! I was shaking like a leaf. Then she breezed in, told me I had a fibroadenoma, said it was benign, and that hopefully I'll never see her again. :-) Fibroadenoma is not related to implants and it doesn't mean I'm more likely to get cancer or anything. It's just a lump. It might grow and it might go away on its own, but now I'm permanently implanted with a titanium chip at the site of the biopsy so they know during future mammograms exactly where I was biopsied. I'm still pretty bruised up from the procedure. More so than with my implants! And I was a little scared that my implant could be poked during the biopsy, but she came in through the breast at an angle that went sideways rather than straight down.

FINALLY - After mondor's cords, then a capsular contracture worry (and that damn strap), then a breast lump, I can finally relax and enjoy my body! It's taken me four months to get here, and I agree with BettyJean, it just might be time to do some shopping! :-) I feel like with this lump issue and the cold weather here on the East Coast (and the snow days!), that January may have been the longest month of my life. I'm welcoming February today with open arms and gratitude!

Love, love, love to all of you. I greatly appreciate your concerns and thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful weekend!

Six Months!

My goodness, time flies when you're not freaking out about one thing or the other. Things here at just a few days shy of six months are great. My family is great. Spring is coming. We're happy and healthy. What more can you ask for?!

Now that I've been living in my breasts for quite some time without issue or health scare, I'm very happy to say that I love them 100%. They are a wonderful size, they're as soft as they're ever going to be (for BA boobs), and they don't hinder me from doing anything in my normal life (sleep, gym, or running, etc.) with the exception of not being able to do tons of push ups. Their shape is finally nearing what I'd hoped for in my wish pics - fuller at the bottom, nicely sloped. I feel great about them!

That said, I still have a noticeable difference in how they settled with the left being lower than the right. I'm still doing the compressions on the right side when I think of it, which is usually a couple times a day, but some days not at all. I feel like the right side does make small progress, but that the left side just continues to naturally drop more and more and that the right can't ever catch up. I do worry about the left side dropping too much now, especially since I've had aches in the bottom of that breast for several weeks, which makes me feel like it's stretching the skin even more. Since I'm a stomach sleeper, I've started to wear a bra at bedtime more often than not to help prevent too much more movement downward on the left side. The difference, while annoying to me, is not something I'd have fixed and many have said it adds to the natural look of the breasts. Here's an interesting thing: I can move my right implant with the flex of my right pec muscle easily, but I can't do the same on the left at all. I wonder... could my implant placement be slightly different on each side with regard to the muscle and perhaps with me being right handed and stronger on the right side, maybe that muscle is somehow holding up that implant a bit more?? Just a crazy thought. Who am I to say for sure? Like I said above, I am happy with them!

I've posted some photos here of the latest purchase - an aerie bralette in blue that I just love. It's a medium. I had also ordered some very cute underwire bras from aerie, but they didn't fit well at all. I think with an underwire bra, I'll just have to try them on for size in person. Online shopping will no longer work for my BA'ed boobs since the fits can be so different.

That's about all for now. I'll continue to update on the milestone dates and I enjoy following your stories still, too, so please keep posting, ladies! :-)

Six Month Photos

Not having luck with posting photos.

Will try again tomorrow. Good Night!

Six Month Photos

Was finally able to upload from my phone!

One Year Update with Pics!

Hello, hello, dear ladies of RealSelf. I seriously can not believe a whole year has come and gone since my surgery (and six months since I last updated!). As they say, no news is good news, and all has been great. I've been traveling quite a bit and just being a mom to my littles. Busy, busy. I apologize that I don't come around here often anymore, but I'm forever grateful for your continued support.

At one year, I feel happy and confident with my decision to have a breast augmentation. My chest feels completely my own and I'm now 100% happy with the size. They no longer feel too big at all. They are quite perfect for me. I've had no further issues and they haven't hindered me in any way. In fact, I've just taken up running again (for the first time since college - almost 15 years!) as I've been starting to slowly train for the Spartan Race I plan to do in 2015 and I haven't felt a single twinge, weirdness, or heaviness with the running. I continue to do yoga, TRX, and BodyCombat weekly with zero issues.

My breasts are quite soft and pliable. I don't feel they look augmented at all and have had both friends who know of the procedure say they look completely natural. Success! That's exactly what I wanted. I haven't told anyone in my family and if they've noticed, they haven't said anything. I've even worn swimsuits and tank tops (my standard attire) around them and felt okay about it. I have the little bit of side boob I wanted and the shape is lovely. I can dress them up with cleavage or go braless with ease. If I were to go back and change anything at all, it would be to go moderate rather than mod +. Sometimes I notice a tad more fullness at the top than I wished for, but it's not worth complaining about.

I'm certain that the right breast will not drop to the same exact position as the left and I gave up on my compression exercises quite a long time ago since I wasn't seeing any change on that side. I may have said before that I feel that side (bottom right breast closest to the breast bone) was perhaps not dissected "quite" as far as the left side. There's a clear difference, but I'm not bothered by it, I just notice it from time to time, especially when I raise my arms and when I take front-on photos, which seems to really magnify it. Sisters, not twins, right?

I've not yet made my one year check up with my surgeon, but plan to very soon. I'll pop back in and let you all know what he says once I do. I'm off to catch up on some of your stories now! All my best!

One year check up

I had my one year check up a couple of weeks ago and the doc walks in and says "you are like a fine wine... getting better with age!" :) He meant the progression of the ladies, which by now are sooooo perfectly settled. He's very happy with them and when I asked about the difference in how the right side has settled, he said that while both breasts are soft, the capsule is a little tougher on the right side and I'm to squish the right one vertically to try to get it to loosen up and let that side relax a little more. Otherwise, he said they're just perfect. I feel like they are exactly what I asked for, even though it took them a while to get there. I can't believe I'm over a year out now. I'm so comfortable in my body and just LOVE them. Here are my official photos showing before, 3 months post op, and one year post op. What a difference!! Thanks for being there for me, RealSelfers. You have no idea how much your encouragement was appreciated.

~ Mentor 275 mod + silicone unders - Two Years! ~

It's hard to believe I'm almost two years out from my surgery date. Everything is going great! I'm happy. I'm fit and active. I even just finished my first Spartan Super this weekend! It's an obstacle course race that was over 8 miles up and down a mountain with 28 obstacles. It was amazing and intense and I can't believe I did it! Totally exhilarating! My surgery has not held me back from doing things like this at all. I just answered a question here about my fitness routine and for the past year I've been doing yoga, BodyCombat, TRX, Les Mills GRIT, H.I.I.T, and running about 5-6 times a week. I'm probably in the best shape of my life.

As you'll see in the photos, my right breast didn't settle as low as my left, which I only seem to notice in photos. It really doesn't strike me in daily life. The photos seem to show more of a difference, as I've said before. Maybe I'm just used to it!

At two years out, the only real change I've seen over the past year is that my right breast will now drift laterally when I lay down. Maybe it's because I sleep on my right side the most - I don't know. I can tell when I'm laying out by the pool that my right one starts to slide toward my armpit more. I think it's natural... gravity, you know. I've searched lateral displacement online and it doesn't seem to be as severe as what I've seen. When standing upright, it's total normal. Since having surgery, I've always felt more comfortable in a soft bra for overnight and since I've noticed this, I have been using a sports bra occasionally, too, just to help with support.

I'm not on this site often, but please do ask questions and I'll answer as timely as possible. Hello and hugs to all of my past supporters. I hope you're all doing marvelously!!
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