The Mental Preparation Begins! - Philadelphia, PA

I've been on this site for several months now... Reading everyone's story, learning, questioning, anticipating. There have been some inspiration, tears for ones heart ache, and excitement for the various success that have been shared... Well here I am. I started my own Journey in April 2016 by attending an information session. I scheduled my appointment for consult in May and have been on a roller coaster ever since. In June 2016 I weighed 262 lbs. at my 1st Medical Weigh Management (1st of 3 required MWM) in July I was up to 269.My insurance specifies for the surgery I must be under the initial consult weight! No clue how the gain happened.. blood test revealed i was severely Vitamin D deficient so I've been on supped up D ever since. Then endoscopy revealed I had a an esophageal web - SO i've had to have an embolism (where they push the web out the way/breaking it). And the Upper Gi also showed I have a hiatal hernia... ultrasound said I have fatty liver... My labs otherwise good - No diabetes, no hypertension, no sleep apnea, Arthritis Heck Yeah and Various Joint/Muscle aches without a doubt. I am 5'1.5 But i was serious about this weight lost and I was serious about doing something for myself. So - I've been on a restricted 1000-1200 calorie diet already Supplementing with Protein Shakes, High Fiber & High Protein Foods... The carbs have gone.. no bread no soda no fruit juice and minimal sugar. So in August I was 263 and at my last MWM TODAY! I was 256.5! So I am exstatic. I didn't know I had dropped that much weight after gaining so rapidly - I mean in 2 months on my own i lost 13 lbs! Then i head the dreaded Psych visit... I was beyond nervous, not sure what to expect. My life overall is good, i am in a good head space and my personal relationship are well. So I knew i would ace the depression evaluation. But i was still tepid about the session. And well it turned out better than I could possibly expect. It was positive.. i was encouraged that my hard work, my new path, my tenacity and realistic outlooks were all on par to be a success.. As long as i stuck with it.
I've completed all required test and accomplished my own goals.
So i'm waiting.. waiting for the paperwork to be submitted and for the Denial/Approval Process... and then SURGERY?!?!? and I don't know what I feel. I'm AFRAID to be so tiny and look like i have a fatal disease. I'm afraid of my massive arms drooping with saggy skin. I'm afraid of being different to others even if I am the same person to me... I am Afraid of all the unknown ifs thens or elses... But I am convicted to win my Life Back! To have more energy than I ever have, to look at Life and be proud of the Life I Create for Myself.

I wish you all success...

So I have a tentative date: over the weekend I received a letter from the insurance company (Aetna). they were requesting more information... I called my insurance coordinator and she assured me that everything was submitted accurately and that leader is always generated when the insurance company logs the case in. The date was listed on the notification. So technically I haven't been approved yet... But, by the end of the week I should be hearing back from my Doctor's office. To top all that off - I bumped into my surgeon while getting lunch! Must be a good omen!

I had received paperwork from my insurance company that said 11/11... Due to my surgeons schedule changing I've been pushed back to Dec 1st. And at that I'm excited. It's after thanksgiving and before Christmas. I'll be travelling some ways south to my mothers for Christmas so it will be a good surprise. I haven't shared this journey outside of 2 friends my partner and sun. I'm extremely private, not ashamed, just private. If anyone asks I may share.

My Nutrition class is Nov 18th and I'll close this year with Surgery in December, Excited for 2017. Truly beginning a new chapter!