Goodbye jelly belly - Australia, AU

Hi to all my TT sisters, I'm just over four months now and starting to feel almost normal again. I still have a tightness down the middle of my abs where the internal stitches are when I stretch up high or arch my back. I still get a little swollen and tender, for a few days in my core when I do any strenuous activity (like spread a couple of tonnes of sand and lawn mix all over my garden over two days! woops!) or when I get my period and last but not least when I indulge in sodium! My scar is starting to fade to a lighter pink but not much different from the last pics I posted of it.

I've almost forgotten what it felt like to have the jelly belly. I still look in the mirror sometimes in awe of what I achieved and how different it feels to look in the mirror now and like what I see instead of cringe and look away.

Hello, long time no write!! This is the first time I've been on RS for quite a while. I was finding myself becoming too focused on my appearance and needed to pull away for a while. I've always had a tough time loving my body after being deformed by pregnancy and being a spiritual sort of person I have struggled to keep the right frame of mind and remember what''s important in life lately. Having said that I have been thinking about my TT sisters and wondering how everyone is doing esp Snowfly and Jobaby, so after this, I will go and clear the 880 update messages in my email inbox! haha

I had my 3 month appt with Dr Cooper today. All is well and I don't have to see him until one year now. I do have a small firm lump on my incision where the T section meets it, where some scar tissue has formed around the deep internal stitch. Its shrinking with continued massage and I'm happy to leave it longer before we go cutting it out. Its about the size of a baked bean. If it's still there at one year I will have it cut out.

For me this has been just as much an psychological/emotional journey as a physical one. Having the TT has brought up lots of self worth issues for me in my relationship with my dear Bam bam. The money we spent didn't make the relationship better than it was to begin with. If anything, me looking and feeling better about myself has brought certain challenges that neither of us expected. You know the saying 'be careful what you wish for'...Its easy to be really focused on getting rid of the ugliness and blaming the ugliness for everything, then it happens, its gone.... then you're left with what lies beneath. I used to have moments of feeling so ugly and sexually unappealing to both myself and the opposite sex, before the surgery and they are still there now and I'm really wondering whether my brain just hasn't caught up with the change or its something much deeper within me, or maybe its just that I'm partnered to a Cave Man!

I'd love to hear from other women about their psychological adjustments after their TT. Of course I look in the mirror and am so happy with my results and feel every bit of pain and suffering during the recovery was totally worth it. My broken belly was like a malignant tumor that infected my whole being and I feel like I've had it amputated but its interesting to me that the feelings of ugliness haven't really gone as quickly as I expected. If you really think about it, a TT is a massive amputation. People who lose limbs can even have phantom pains where the limb once was. The mind is an incredible thing. There are Doctors who do amputations on peoples phantom limbs to stop their brain feeling the phantom pains where their original amputation was. So my body is drastically better but my self esteem hasn't had the same extreme makeover.

I wonder how our brains adjust to a TT and other Mommy Makeovers over time. I've trawled the internet for information and there is so little out there other than what is here on RS. So much of what is here is really focused on the physical side and not many people openly write about their emotional journey beyond the obvious 'I fell so much better than before' but not much about their wobbles along the way. We're all supposed to feel wonderful and greatful, so I think the pressure is on to be really positive and not be a 'Debbie Downer". I'm just really curious to hear any one else's stories about their adjustment to being repaired on the outside and how the inside feelings have adjusted or not and how long that has taken. If any of you have a story to tell please do send it to me by PM I'd love to hear it. The longer the better.

Thank you so unbelievably much to every one of you who encouraged, complimented and supported me through the terrifying early stages of my surgery and recovery. This website has saved us all from so much stress and anxiety, which made our recoveries so much better.

I will post a couple of photos from my recent trip away into nature where I wore my jeans and a fitted singlet... without a part my brain tied up with occupying my midsection for the first time in my life. I haven't worn the CG since about 8 weeks po, and was only wearing it when I had to do vigorous exercise even then. Halleluijah for that! Since we have had so much hot weather here in Australia. I still get a little bit of swelling near the end of the day and when I eat too much sodium. My energy and strength still isn't back to what it was 3 months ago but I can tolerate exercise again and am continuing to get my muscle tone back to pre op levels by working out on my home gym.

If I sit down for a while, the internal abs are tighter when I stand up. I can lift my 1.5 yo grandaughter and hold her on my hip with no pain. I am 6 kg lighter than pre op now. That's something like 13-14 pounds. I gained some during the recovery and its starting to even out again now that I'm burning more calories again. I've found a belly dancing class which starts soon and goes for 15 weeks. I can't wait to get good at it. Love to all and please do send me a story if you want to. Maybe together we can write a book because there just isn't one out there.