No, I am NOT pregnant!

I am a mom to almost 2 year old twins. They were both around 6 pounds and i was huge when I carried them. I lost all the weight, 40 lbs I gained, and my stomach never went down. In the last year I have lost weight beyond where I started and y stomach has grown more round. It is now over 40 inches and I truly look at least 6 months pregnant, confirmed by the OB-GYN and my PS.

So, I have a major muscle seperation with maor back issues and digestion issues I hope will be resolved. I am scared, excited, freaked out and ready to feel human again. I CAN NOT wait to be on the flat side! Even with post-op swelling, I should be flatter than I am now. YAY!!

I am so worried about my kids. My family is trying to figure out how their daily care is going to be covered without me. Originally I had two close female family members promise a LOT of child care. Like 90%. And now, they are no longer in the picture so it's a mess. My girls are almost 2 and very active and demanding. They also weigh close to 30 pounds a piece and love to be held.

Does anybody recall how soon they were able to lift 30 pounds? My muscle repair is major, about a 6 inch gap.( And the hernia repairs along with the skin, etc.) I can tell from reading the posts here that housework and stuff will be a few weeks away. I'm ok with the mess for a while, that happens when you have multiples anyway. But the girls are still in cribs so I definitely can not handle nap time alone. Morning and evening will have someone here for that. Any idea how long I will need help with that? I'm trying to get a girlfriend to come middays. But I don't think I can push too long with her as she has an infant of her own. Ugh, sorry I guess I'm just rambling. Thinking out loud? Thinking on the web? Thinking when I should be doing my homework? Oh, did I mention I am a full time student too? I am taking my finals a week early to accommodate the surgery date. So I am incredibly short on prep time for surgery. Like, I'll have 2 days. Saturday and Sunday. ...deep breaths, deep breaths...

Just to vent a little, I hate it that I am the one that always has to stress about this stuff. I guess it's a mom job, but I sure wish I felt more relaxed going into this thing, to know that stuff will be handled. Oh well.

I'll upload pics soon. Am having a hard time on my iPad getting this stuff done here. I sure wish realself, the most awesome place on the web, would update to accommodate us people in bed and such trying to do stuff on our mini devices. Why isn't there an app for that!?
:-)

I had the surgery on Monday, the 10th. So I am 6 days postop. I'll add some pics tomorrow probably. I feel a little worried about how I look. I am trying to not think about it and just do the time it takes to heal. Either way, when I look down, I see boobs and not tummy; so that's awesome!