1 month post-op!

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Hello - new here. Everyone's stories and pics have...

Hello - new here. Everyone's stories and pics have been extremely helpful, so thank you ladies!

I'm tall - 5'11'' and 140 lbs. I've wanted to get bigger boobs since college, and am finally going through with it next week! So excited! Right now, I barely fill out a 34/36A cup. I am not unhappy with my current breasts, I actually really like them and think they're beautiful. But I'd love to feel more feminine and fill out lingerie bras, swimsuits, etc.
My PS does only silicone, textured anatomical implants, and exclusively transaxillary incision. I guess this is what has had the best results for him in the past. So this is what we're going with. I absolutely love all the before/after pics on his website, the look of the teardrop implant really appeals to me and looks very natural.

I originally said I wanted 250-275cc after the first two consultations and now after reading everyone's testimonies I'm afraid I'm going too small? I really hope I don't regret it and I am debating telling him to go bigger the morning of surgery. Is that a bad idea?
What I want: I'm tall but I have a petite frame/rib cage. I want to look completely natural, I really really want to avoid the "fake" look (i.e. no big circular bags sitting on my chest) which is why I like the teardrop shape. I want to be a 34C, but so inconspicuous that when anyone sees me, no one would immediately wonder "did she get a boob job?" I wear padded bras currently and I'm thinking that when I'm clothed, not much a difference will be noticed.
But overall, I was afraid of going too big and said 275cc and now I'm wondering if that's a mistake. I feel so conflicted. The fear is paying this money, going through this experience, and not seeing much of a difference when it's all over. But I don't want to go too big for my body and feel like it looks too fake/too barbie doll. Has anyone else done the same and had regrets? Please take a look at my current pics and let me know thoughts or advice on size. Any comments are greatly appreciated.

Day 1 Post-Op - in hell with pain, having boob greed

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the comments/advice on my size. I ended up telling the PS to do whatever he wants and that I trust him. As long as I don't have the noticeable "fake" look, I'm happy.
He told me he did 285cc in the left breast and 320cc in the right since they were slightly uneven to start - these are silicone gel, anatomical shape, under the muscle, incision thru the armpit. I'm a little worried that such a huge difference in the CC's will make them super uneven after the swelling goes down?! They look the same now though. I also have pretty bad bruising!! A little worried, but hopefully it will go away soon.
Operation was fine, I was pretty scared. Didn't see my PS until after I had received the initial anasthesia dose. I barely remember seeing him, but he drew on my chest and the only thing I could say was "Not too big, OK?" And he said "OK. Not too big." Then I was out like a light.
I stayed the night in hospital and the sweet nurses checked my blood pressure and drains every 2 hours or so. I had to share a room with a lady getting surgery on her throat from smoking. She didn't speak English and I'm still learning French so I was happy to practice with her. The most awkward part was peeing in a bedpan in bed. It's a weird feeling to try and pee laying down in bed, so unnatural. Hated being in the hospital.
I was released this morning and my boyfriend picked me up. I hobbled down the street hunched over, and any sort of movement is complete hell. It HURTS, oh dear holy hell it hurts. I expected it, but not this much. Feels like two heavy shotput balls strapped to my chest. My BF had some leftover vicodin so I'm taking that for the pain. The meds I were prescribed are basically Tylenol, need something heavier than that for the first day or two!
Kinda gross, but still no BM. I haven't gone in 3 days... starting to wonder if I should buy laxatives. Anyone else had this issue?
Finally: BOOB GREED. I was so concerned about going too big and now I feel they are a little small. Even when my boyfriend first saw them, he blurted out "they don't look very big at all" and immediately realized his mistake and tried to cover it up. But I agree, and now the thought is in my head forever. Too small. And they look like pointy torpedo cones with the tape on.
Oh yeah - so no showering for 6 days, the tape stays on for 6 days. Doc told me absolutely no massages, no touching them, no nothing. It's funny to see how different people have diff advice from doctors telling them to massage, etc. Guess it's different for everyone.
Here are my post-op pics - let me know any thoughts! Much appreciated. :)

Depression and pain - day 3 post-op

I honestly underestimated how much this would hurt. It also doesn't help that I'm all taped up very tightly, and will be for 4 more days. I see other girls post-op pics after a day or two and they're in a comfy sports bra and I'm hating the fact that I'm in this tape, I move around like a mummy. It takes me 10 minutes to wiggle out of bed like a worm, getting up and down anywhere is exhausting. I expected it would be painful, but I was thinking like a 5 or 6 out of 10 on the pain scale... I'd say I'm at an 8 or 9. Just so ready for this to be over. The painkillers help somewhat, but it's still excruciating. Perhaps I have a lower pain threshold than I thought, or maybe my PS was rough with my breasts during the surgery (see the bruises).
Depression: After 3 days of sitting around on the couch watching TV, the depression has started to set in. The questions like - "why did I do this to myself?" or "did I really just get breast implants?" I know these feelings will pass with each day, but it's hard not to cry when sitting around like a worthless blob. Plus not being able to wash my upper body/armpits for a week makes me feel gross, smelly, and dirty. The only thing that has helped me through this is my amazing boyfriend. He has done everything from A to Z - cooking, cleaning, fluffing pillows, washing my hair, I mean everything. I am so grateful for that, because I can barely pull down my shorts to pee. When I read reviews of other women who get a BA and they have kids to take care of, or trying to do this on their own, or going back to work after 2 days, I am amazed! I can't imagine that. What strength!
The other thing that helps is reading everyone else's experiences with the pain, so thanks again for that. I'll admit I'm just sitting here having a pity party for myself when I should be happy that I went through it. But I just wanted to take a few minutes to vent, and I do feel better now :)

Day 5 - not happy

UGGGGHHH I'm still so incredibly uncomfortable and I'm starting to realize it's largely due to this freakin' tightly wrapped tape around my torso. I've read other reviews about how women dread putting on the elastic band to hold anatomical implants down after surgery. I think I have the extreme version of that - 5 layers of extremely tight medical tape stuck to my body that pulls my skin every which direction when I move, stuck to me 24/7 (no ability to remove it for brief periods of relief) for 8 days straight. I'm not thrilled that this is the method my PS uses, and to be honest I wasn't fully aware that this was in store for me. I don't think he was trying to be misleading, there is really just a language barrier (his English isn't great, my French isn't either). So maybe the expectations here were lost.
But it's day 5 and I move around like... imagine if Frankenstein and Quasimodo had a daughter... that's how I look when I walk. My PS only prescribed me acetaminophen (tylenol) for recovery, I guess Valium or Percocet aren't options for me. So that has likely also contributed to the pain.

Also, the incisions on my armpits started to sting pretty bad last night, it was warm in the apartment and I think I might have started sweating a little bit (I usually sweat a lot under the pits). So I'm thinking that caused stinging and throbbing in the cuts and I'm praying I don't get an infection. And the subtle B.O. smell is also starting to really get to me, gonna be a little embarrassed when it comes time to cut this tape off in 2 days in my PS office!!
I'm going back to school today for the first time since the operation. Little nervous about getting on the metro, and climbing 6 flights of stairs (school has no elevator) so this should be interesting.

Words can't describe how much I REALLY, really, really can't wait to get this dang tape cut off. I've wanted so bad to be able to try on bras, shirts, hell just give my boobs a little massage that other women are doing by this point in time. I haven't heard of anyone else's experience that is similar to mine quite frankly, it really sucks - if you are reading this and your PS suggests this type of recovery method, I would suggest finding a PS who does it differently.
2 more days... 2 more days...

11 days post - each day better than the last

I was so so so so happy to get that pesky tape cut off!! Things that I missed most during the week of being taped:
1) Showers
2) Yawning a real yawn

I'm looking and feeling good. Morning boob still persists, but I expect that to be gone in a few more weeks.
The incisions in my armpits seem to be healing OK - still have not worn deodorant or shaved since before surgery. Feeling like a hippie :)

The only thing I'm worried about is that my left boob is bigger than my right boob. It was like that to start, but my PS told me he put a slightly larger implant in the Right to even it out (320 CC, vs. 285 CC in the left). Despite that, the Left is still bigger. Really hoping this evens out...
Also, after the tape got cut off, I noticed that there are two incisions under my right armpit. It looks like my PS started with one, and realized it wasn't gonna work and made a larger one higher up. He didn't tell me this, I just notice the second incision recently. When I went in for my post op, he spent maybe 5 minutes with me just to give me instructions on massage. His assistant did everything else, like cutting off the tape, cleaning me up, sizing the compression bra. Things like this make me wish I had done the surgery at home in the US. Unfortunately, I'm not living there or else I would have.

Things I'm looking forward to most:
1) No morning boob
2) Sleeping on my side
3) D&F

Day 12, liking the boobs, but want my old self back emotionally

I am loving my new boobs more everyday, they look great, the pain is diminishing, and my boob greed went away! I think if I had gone bigger, the natural look I wanted wouldn't be possible. I wanted to keep my same shirts, dresses, etc. and if my parents come to visit me, I want them to have no idea I got a boob job. This was very important to me because my mom had a silicone implant rupture and leak into her armpit and side of her body (she had it in for over 20 years - bad idea). It cost $30K to get it all removed and insurance only paid half. It was a scary time for her health-wise, so they would be devastated and disappointed to know I had gotten silicone implants less than a year after the ordeal. Anyways, I love the new girls and happy I went through with it.

Sadness: writing about this here because I don't have many girlfriends who have had plastic surgery so I'm not sure if I'm alone in this? Did anyone else feel emotional sadness during the time following your BA? If so, how long until you bounced back?
I have no history of depression, and there's not a single time when I can recall feeling sad for a very long period of time. But now, I just don't feel like my happy, positive self at all and it's kinda scaring me. For example: before the surgery, I found out by complete accident that my wonderful boyfriend of 2 years is planning to propose in a few months (he doesn't know that I know). Again, total accident that I found out and it kind of ruins the surprise but at least I don't know when or how he is going to do it. Regardless, I was on Cloud 9 when I found out, so excited and happy and bouncy!!! I didn't tell anyone the secret, and I was constantly daydreaming with excitement in my head.
Well, since surgery I'm pessimistic about it among many other things. Having depressing thoughts like "Would this even work out? Do I even want to marry him? We will likely end up divorced." Before the BA, those thoughts had NEVER CROSSED MY MIND. And I find myself being short and irritated with him. He's amazing and did nothing wrong, and during the week following my surgery he was incredible at taking care of me. I'm not sure if it was the pills I was popping, or the lethargy that comes with being basically bedridden, but my old optimism is gone and I want it back. I have negative feelings towards other things in my life right now too, and I find myself not wanting to talk to my friends/family, not look for a job, no desire to get things done on my to-do list. I'm not in much pain anymore and I'm able to move around, so I wonder why I still feel emotionally depressed.
Any ideas or experiences are greatly appreciated! Thanks.

Just over 1 month post-op!

Finally been sleeping on my side, and morning boob is mostly gone! YES!

I went bra shopping and am a 36B... Boob greed has slowly been going away, although a part of me still wishes I had gone above 350cc. I still want that C cup, but overall I am happy with the results now! They look very natural and not obvious that I had a boob job, although not like it matters because I've basically told all my friends. Nothin' to hide here! :) Also I don't have to buy any new shirts, and I still fit one of my pre-BA swimsuits although it's a little tight. I liked the way my breasts looked before and I like them now, so no harm done!
Armpit scar is slowly starting to heal but still pretty obvious. Can't lift arms above my head yet, but hopefully soon!
And I'm back to my old self emotionally - that was hellish being so depressed. Happy to be back!!! :)
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