34 Yrs Old, Mom of 2 Plus a Step, Nursed for 4.5 Yrs, Doing Something for Myself Finally

I've finally stopped nursing my youngest and have decided it's time to get things back to where they used to be. Actually better. I've always been a little thick around the tummy and flanks. Years ago I was a size 2 and pants fit every where but the tummy. Pretty straight body with broad shoulders. Smaller boobs (small B) from years of competitive gymnastics. Then I had two 10 pound babies and nursed a long time. Now it's time to have a more woman-like figure.

First consult was a very reputable surgeon but he said he didn't want to do the TT with the implants and flank lipo. It would every difficult for me with my job to be off twice. And I just don't want to. I found Dr. Young by happen stance and felt very comfortable with him during the consult. I'm planning to get a full tummy tuck with lipo to the flanks and implants. My goal is to fit my body well in a natural or slightly larger than natural look. He's suggested 350-400cc which he says will put me at a large C/small D depending on brands. I can't even grasp what boobs and a waistline will look like on me.

Deposit is paid and I played around with the implants. I thought I'd better decide what size and now I'm probably more confused. I thought I wanted very natural and I do but part of me tends to think natural plus a little bit more. Anyway, his staff was great and let me stop by and answered a bunch of questions. I've ended up thinking anywhere from 365cc to 415cc and leave it in his discretion. I also pretty much only wear loose shirts now and with larger boobs I'm probably going to look big in those. Guess I'm going to have to get some new shirts too :)

Now I'm trying to get prepared and buy stuff I might need. Got a couple large sports bras which felt odd since I have very little breast tissue right now. Kind of crazy to think how different I will look.

His nurse also showed me where the TT scar will be and I feel ok about that. The next 5 weeks are going to drag.

Tomorrow night is the last night I go to bed with the body God gave me untouched. Part of me feels vein for not accepting it the way it is. But the other part of me says it's not something to feel guilty about.

I'm nervous about the ups and downs of the healing process. I'm nervous the months of swelling will make me look worse during that time. I'm nervous of how I will be able to interact with my kids during that time. I'm nervous that my husband will be mean about my choice to do this. In general he's not that nice and I'm sure he will have something bad to say about the feel of the implant or the appearance of the scar. I don't really care what he thinks but if I'm struggling with the healing process I don't want to deal with that too.

I just keep telling myself this isn't that big of a deal. I can do this. And, I can.