Not Sure So Far. Little Hard to Make Expressions. // - Oregon

Had it done a week ago on the forehead for the first time. My experience is mixed so far. I really loved it for the first few days and then I started feeling like it might be a little much. It's hard to make normal expressions and this is weird for me. I Hope the effects dont increase at all at this point and hopefully decrease or soften a bit. I like it but really hope we didn't mistakenly overdo it, or I had more reaction than predicted, being the first time... we tried to be conservative and I still wanted some movement there. I'm really keeping my fingers crossed things soften down a bit from here. I don't exactly regret it but that would improve my experience.

ok update time. // hope this works. ok so its been 3 months now.

I am VERY not happy. this whole thing was probably the biggest mistake of my life in a lot of ways. I feel like I paid a ridiculous amount of money to look ten years older and like a [RS bleep]... and im quite afraid all the awful changes might not go. //i looked SO MUCH YOUNGER and better before dysport. they havent even sent me any rebate yet. // VERY MESSED UP. so this is the timeline so far.

week 1: in week one I actually liked it. the top of my face was just a little relaxed but my eyebrows were still very light and could raise all the way. my eyes were still sparkly and i just looked a little rested. if it stayed like that, I would have been really really happy. HOWEVER --

week 2: in week two it just kept moving further and further down my face. my eyebrows dropped down and became like rocks, i lost all my arch, i had no expression, no sparkle in my eyes, i could not look delighted or surprised or happy. i looked really really awful and i felt really awful. i woke up everyday freaking out as it got stronger and stronger and i knew there was nothing i could do. it looked and felt very unnatural for me and i absolutely, completely hated it.

1 month: at one month except for my eyebrows being like rocks and my forehead being very unnaturally smooth, (awful) it started to affect my mood. i began to have really bad anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. i think it was very claustrophobic for me to feel paralyzed that much, and it made me feel really sick and unhealthy psychologically. i even felt as though i had done something unhealthy spiritually. i went on hydroxyzine which helped a lot. // i have never previously been suicidal -or- been treated for anxiety so this was -very- out of character. im still taking the hydroxyzine.

also, I have been with my lover for 2 years and we have never yet had even one argument. he says i am one of the nicest people he's ever met. well in month 2 of dysport we began to have really really bad fights. he said i was being 'offensive' 'a jerk' and 'mean'.. even though i was just being my normal self, since my face looked so unnaturally hard and bitchy, it made a lot of people not just my boyfriend misinterpret my commmunications and caused a LOT of interpersonal problems in a lot of situations. // i had to actually stop seeing my lover for the last month because i couldnt stand the thought he was perceiving me these ways and it was causing us so much problems and i knew it was only because of the hard, bitchy look of my face. ALL of this was massively out of character for me and a HUGE HUGE DRAG.

i feel like it gave me a more symmetrical face for about 3 weeks. all the other time, it was either coming on and looked absolutely awful, or wearing off and looking even more awful... i was hoping it would improve as it wore off, but really i just look worse, more wrinkles, and very unnatural.

month 2: at the end of month 2 it started wearing off significantly. thank god. now its the end of month 3 and i was really hoping it would all be gone by now but its not quite. there may be another month of this.

the absolute worst thing is that for some reason i have really, really extremely ugly new wrinkles. (i have pics) wayy more awful than anything i had before. the wrinkles i had before had character and looked like me. (i didn't want them to go anyhow my goal of treatment was not to get rid of wrinkles! it was just to open up my face a bit. i never wanted to get rid of my wrinkles) so at this point, i feel maybe 75% back to normal, almost passably normal. i can go out in public and not feel weird, but its still hard for me to be around people i love and know well cause i just dont feel like 'me'.

also these new wrinkles are extremely ugly. i dont really know why, but they really are. im way more self conscious about how i look now, because it looks totally unnatural and really fake and gross. so i actually feel a lot worse about my looks now than i ever did. i never cared about my wrinkles anyhow. that wasn't why i wanted dysport! i didn't care about my lines i jsut wanted my face opened up and lightened up a bit and to look a little rested. i was given WAY TOO BIG A DOSE FOR THIS. even though both my dr and i knew i wanted a light dose. this was stilll way, way way more than i would have ever wanted. i would have liked it about 20% this strength. // or less.

so right now, i have pics of the new lines and im really, really hoping it all settles down and goes away. i have before pics and they were definitely not there before. im keeping stuf really moisturized, doing a lot of cardio and steam room in case that helps. // im feeling abpit 75% maybe now.. but i have no idea how long it will take until i -really- go back to 'normal' and im really, really hoping and praying that i do. i saw my dr but at that point the new wrinkles were not there yet. i jsut told him it was way too strong so far and he really apologized and was very very nice about it. i see him again soon and i really hope he can tell me whats up. if i go back to normal at this point, i will feel VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY lucky.

also a note: some drs here took issue with me defending my dr and saying he did a 'good job'. all i meant by that was this wasn't a super botch that happened at a slumber party or something. i didn't have any lid drooping or leaking or spreading or anything really wrong, it was just way too strong for me and possibly, spread further than anticipated.. which i understand can happen with a first treatment. thats what i meant by that. yes, this was a terrible job for what i was looking for. however it wasn't a super botch, (praise god) i just didn't like it so strong.

so ok hopefully we are goign back to normal. im jsut trying to relax a lot and not pay attention to it and hopefully it will just be better soon. i will come back and update as things go on and i will add pics if necessary.

as of now: i strenuously warn everyone i know considering this stuff to RECONSIDER. i think this a very potent poison and as we all know the dose makes the poison. i think that most people especially people who have health problems (flu like stuff etc) are being way, way overdosed with this stuff. i think the company sells it in $400 increments, and as a result drs will give patients too much when they dont need it, since it will otherwise go to waste. classic.