(1yr update explant + lift) Happy to see them go - 350cc silicone gummies removed on 11/5/13

I've been living with my implants since Feb 2007. I was initially very conflicted about getting implants in the first place because I hated the thought of having something foreign in my body. I had two children and breast fed both of them. I was always a b-cup and had no issues being that size. However, when I was nursing my kids I enjoyed having full c/d cups and I guess you could say got use to having bigger fuller breasts for a couple years out of my life. After I stopped nursing I lost all the fullness in my breasts and they were very saggy. That still wasn't what got me looking into plastic surgery initially. I had gained over 100lbs with my 1st pregnancy and had two very large babies. I worked out like crazy, but couldn't do anything about the skin that hung off of my abdomen. My abdominal muscles were also destroyed. So, my initial concern was removing all the excess skin from my tummy.

After looking into a tummy tuck I began to think about how saggy my breasts were and the idea of having a lift became more appealing Well, after going in for consultations I was told that because I lost so much volume in my breasts that a lift alone would not look right....I would need a small implant to give me the desired fullness I lacked.

I did a ton of research on implants and knew that there was a good chance they could rupture. I had friends that got implants in their 20's and never had problems, but I still felt uncomfortable. Then I came across information on cohesive gel implants, "gummy bears", as they are called. I loved the idea that they were form stable and didn't leak....or at least I thought. So, I decided to consult with a doctor who was doing clinical trials on them to check them out.

After looking at all my options, I really felt the cohesive gels felt better than saline and would give me a better look....so I decided to go forward with it.

I initially wanted to go from 36b to a full c-cup. But, at the last moment I thought going to a small D would look better and fit my frame. I am 5'7'' 1/2 and have a wide back. After the surgery...I was actually thrilled and beyond words for how great my breasts turned out. I became a 34D and thought they looked amazing. I never had perky breasts in my life and for the first time I was actually happy with how they looked. However, after a couple of years reality set in and the fact that I couldn't work out like I use to and the fact I could no longer wear button up dresses or shirts started to bother me. Unless it was form fitting everything made me look overweight. I started to have "buyers remorse" so to speak. I felt like choosing to be a bigger size was a huge mistake. I liked to dress conservative and I hated that everything made me look like a [RS bleep] star or fat. I weighed 125lbs and was a small on the bottom, but a large on top....nothing fit right. I guess I never thought it would be so unbalanced...I just thought I would fill out my clothes more....not need new clothes entirely.

During all this time I went through a divorce and eventually remarried again. After 5 years post implants I unexpectedly became pregnant again at nearly 40. After pregnancy and breastfeeding again my boobs were huge. That's when all the problems started. I started to have neck, shoulder and back pain. I hated them and told my husband when I needed to have my breasts redone I would get rid of the implants because I hated being so large.

Being too big and not fitting clothes is one thing. Three months after my baby was born...I started to get sick. Out of no where I started to have pain in my feet....which eventually spread to my joints, muscles, bone and throughout my extremities. I initially thought I had hurt myself...but then my ankle and leg started to swell up and turn red...I knew something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and had tests done. I had inflammation going on which was very evident...but had no clue the cause. The doctors couldn't come up with anything except I had a positive ANA test. I was tested for the basic autoimmune issues but all came back negative. They told me it was early arthritis and gave me a prescription for pain meds and that was it.

I began to do my own research because conventional doctors were not helping. I had a root canal a few months prior and believed the infection never healed....so I looked for anti-viral, anti-bacterial supplements to kill whatever was going on in me. I altered my diet to a low inflammation diet and started taking supplements. After suffering with fibromyalgia symptoms for 6 months I started to get better. I went from not being able to pick up my baby, walk up steps, sit in a chair without tears, couldn't drive a car to all of sudden being back to normal. This lasted brief reprieve lasted for about 5 months before other problems started coming up. I started to get constant muscles cramping, not able to sleep, night sweats, heart palpitations, constant anxiety, fatigue, shortness of breath, extreme vertigo, constant muscle twitching and felt shaky all the time. I honestly never thought that any of this could be related to implants. I have a toddler and felt run down. Who doesn't have 4 kids and feel tired all the time? I thought. I was still nursing and thought maybe I was dehydrated and not getting enough nutrients. Again, I started going to the doctor to rule out problems with my heart or thyroid. Tests were done and came back negative. I then turned to a holistic doctor who did many more tests. Those tests came back showing I had many viruses, adrenal deficiency, vitamin d deficiency...my hormones were screwed up ( my estrogen being off the charts) and I was glucose sensitive but not diabetic. The doctor felt that my immune system was being compromised because of all the viruses my body was trying to fight off. He started me on a ton of supplements to beef up my immune system and balance my hormones. I really felt I was finally getting some answers and once I started on a new diet and supplements started to feel better again. However, all of it was temporary yet again. So...my search for answers continued.

At some point I started to think about my implants and the fact that the shells have a permeable membrane....that means that even if there is no rupture chemicals can still get out into my body. I already eliminated most toxins from my life....I now use organic and natural shampoo's, soaps, toothpaste and make-up. I no longer even color my hair with chemicals...I use plant based henna. I eat organic and primarily vegetarian. All of this in an attempt to feel better and get some energy back.

So I started to do some research on cohesive gels and that's when I found out that they don't remain stable in the body....they become liquid and invasive if they rupture. Of course now I'm freaked out because this is why I didn't go with normal silicone from the start. I was so scared of rupture and silicone leaking out into the body. I really felt like I did a ton of research before I got these implants, but I guess not enough women had these type long enough yet to experience problems with them. I never found anything negative and my surgeon told me he implanted thousands of them with no issues other than the typical size, placement, scarring type of stuff. Of course now I have found so many stories of women having problems with these implants.

I was planning on waiting a couple of years before I got them removed...I figured I would just live with the size, even though I wasn't thrilled with it because I wanted to put off another surgery. Getting sick and thinking that these implants might be the cause or even if they are just making matters worse because my immune system is compromised.... makes me want them out now.

This week I start my search for a good doctor who can do this procedure. I hate the idea of going through surgery again, but I knew when I got these things there was a shelf life and I would some day have to go through this again. I don't want another implant....I just want to get rid of the poison that's in my body. I look back now and think about how stupid I was to put something so toxic in my body in the first place...UGH!

Tomorrow's a new day. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how I will look when this is all said and done. I had a prior lift and implant and then got stretched out again from nursing and pregnancy. I stopped nursing a little over a month ago so I could try and get my health back and I'm afraid it's too soon to get an explant done...I might have to wait a bit until my breasts settle down. In any event, I need to get some questions answered and get an idea of cost....ugh....the cost of it all. Wish me luck with scheduling some consultations.

Quick update. I was able to get some consultations scheduled at the beginning of September. I wish it were sooner, but I figure I will probably have to wait to get the surgery done anyway so the wait doesn't matter. It feels good to take action and move forward with all of this.

It looks like I need to have a revision of my prior lift. It's interesting that I heard in not so many words that the surgeon's did not like how my prior surgeon did the lift. Over six years and one more child plus breastfeeding equal a loss of collagen and drooping of breast tissue. I honestly didn't think it is that bad, but all seem to agree that my nipple is low and my tissue is drooping now and when the implant is removed I will have considerably more drooping of tissue. Can I live with it? That's the question.

I'm still undecided on picking a surgeon. I have one more consult to go and hope to have some clarity after that meeting. My issue is whether to explant and lift all at once or explant and wait for things to settle before doing another lift. I hate the idea of having two surgeries (extra cost, recovery time etc.,) However, I want the best possible outcome with breast shape so I'm wondering whether waiting might be the best thing considering I just stopped breastfeeding in June and my breasts are still settling from that. Lots to think about. I would like to have the surgery before the holidays so I need to make a decision rather soon.