38 Yrs Old, 4 Kids by C-section and Wanting my Figure Back! - Ontario

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I've been debating getting a mommy makeover for...

I've been debating getting a mommy makeover for years but have finally decided it's time!! 4 big pregnancies and lots of loose skin makes me so embarrassed to show my belly. Hoping to get TT, BL and possibly implants. Love seeing all these stories before and after of people who had it done. Gives me more confidence to do me! Waiting for consult in my small hometown but might go to Toronto or Ottawa since I work at the only local hospital and know everyone.

Dream boobies!!

So I'm scouring the Internet for before and afters. This way when I finally have my consult, I can show the dr what I'd like to achieve and if it's realistic or not...

More wish bewbs

Still haven't found THE ps yet. I've narrowed it down to 4 I think. One local and 3 out of town. Need to get some time off to see the out of towners. Until then, I find dream bewbies!


Hoping that my ps can do a line like this so that it's nicely hiding during bathing suit season.

More bewbs!

Need to get these off my phone's photo album! Lol kids keep grabbing my phone and I don't want them seeing these. Lol

Wish list part...

Uploading more wish list lol

Nerves already...

So I almost booked a consult today then chickened out at the last minute. What is holding me back? My fear of being or to sleep! It's so intense! I had a really bad experience when I was a teen and its stuck with me. Plus I want to lose 15 more lbs so that the TT results are the best I can get. Can't get anything done until the fall anyways due to lack of staff at work. Not sure if I should wait or just do it. Lol. Maybe tomorrow??

Consult booked!!

I finally picked a surgeon and booked a consult. I chose this one in particular because he has a good reputation and he does all the work in his private clinic so I won't need to be in the local hospital where I work. I go for my consult on July 19th!! I was so nervous and now I feel relieved. Lol. After 21 years with this stomach I've finally pushed myself to get it fixed. And since I'll be under the girls will get a bit of a touch up as well ;)

One month till consult!

Finally booked it! Took three days to finally pick up the phone and complete dialling but I did it!! I was so nervous but now that I've made the appointment I feel a sense of relief. I'll feel even better once I have the procedure! I have a new resolve to get in the best shape ever. It's already paying off as people are commenting that I look like I've lost weight even though I haven't lost any weight, just inches. I'll take it! I've chosen Dr Barr. He's got a state of the art ER right in his building so I get to avoid nosey nelly's at work. So looking forward to this!!!


5 days till consult! Trying hard to lose additional weight so that I can get the best results possible. So excited to hear what this dr can do for me!

Consult done!

So today was consult day. Good news is that he thinks implants aren't necessary since I still have quite dense breasts and a lift should be able to maintain size but by the girls back where they belong. Bad news is that abdomen is so stretched that he thinks a fleur de lis tummy tuck would be best. If I don't, I would end up with fullness still on the sides (even with lipo) and in the upper abdomen with skin laxity. I have stretch marks all the way up to my ribs anyways so I figure people will be less likely to stare at a scar line than "Edward scissor hands attacked my belly" look. Lol.
He did say that I have good abs under all that skin and might even end up with a six pack! Say what?!?!
So surgery is booked for September 20th! 2 months exactly from tomorrow.
Only thing I didn't like was that he was very rushed during the consult. Didn't give me much time to ask questions but supposedly a nurse will be calling 4 weeks pre-op that should be able to answer all my questions.

No turning back now...

Paid a non refundable deposit to guarantee my date!! Time to work my arse off and loose an extra 10lbs. I've been stable at my current weight for years but since the doctor said I have poor skin elasticity and he has to balance the pull with the surgery against my skin stretch (so I don't end up with marks again) I want to lose more to give more skin to pull. This way if I go back to my maintained weight later, my skin will still be tight. He said that would be the best plan. If that becomes my new maintained weight then I'll be happy with that too ;)
I'm still torn about the boobs... I'm no professional and maybe he just didn't explain it enough... I still don't see how he can say my boobies will stay the same size with mastopexy alone... There's a lot of lose skin and when that skin is removed, size will decrease right? Ugh! I wish I would have bought smaller VS bathing suits! I have all these bras and bikini tops in my current size and they are discontinuing their swim line :( I just fill the current size so now I'm thinking they will be too big. Hubby says just try it out for now. I just don't want to be disappointed when everything is all said and done. KWIM?

Random question... I had a horrible experience being put to sleep 25yrs ago.
What does it feel like when they put you to sleep now? Do they use the mask first? Straight to IV? Hoping that this time will be a much better experience.

Second consult

Second consult with same doctor today. Worked out since his computer deleted my measurements and he needed to get them again anyways. Just needed to ease my fears since I forgot a few questions the last time distracted by the abdominal incision extra scar. Made it clear I want upper pole fullness. Don't want to have high nipples if the top mound look like ski jumps and flat! Lol. He assured me that I have ample amount of breast tissue to create upper pole unlike some others with major weight loss. He also said that's why I have so much pain with hormones around ovulation to period time. He said this surgery might actually do some good and decrease the pain I get for those 2 weeks after ovulation. YAY!! Going to attempt to upload before breast pictures I took last week. Keep forgetting to take belly pics. Need to do that too! Need something to compare to later! Lol

The dreaded belly...

Well I finally bought a Selfie stick! Lol. I'm probably way behind in time but I'm catching up. Lol. I finally took some pick of the belly. Can't wait until this is gone!! I always knew I had lots of loose skin but never took pics of myself to see from different angles. YUCK!! It doesn't look that bad standing up (and with clothes!) but I hate how it hangs and flaps when I'm bent over. And don't even get me started about sex! I'm basically giving myself a standing ovation as it flaps around and slaps my thighs!! Ugh! I will not miss this one bit!! People keep telling me "it doesn't look that bad". Until you see it naked, you can't know... Lol

Delayed for now...

I did a thing today. I wasn't happy with the opinion of the ps so I'm getting a second opinion sept 1/16. The 1st one said you can never get implants at the same time as a lift. I've read many stories and seen many pictures of this being very possible. Another problem is that he doesn't offer discount for getting more than one procedure done at the same time. He charges double for the anesthesiologist and the recovery room and everything else. So instead of paying an extra 2500$ or so to have boobs done at same time, I would have to go back in 6 months to get them done and pay another 7500$ on top of the 15000$. I delayed his surgery by 2weeks to give me enough time to see the other Dr and get his opinion. The new guy has OR room on sept 29th and the old one has been pushed to October 4th/16. Only 2 extra weeks of waiting at worst case scenario. I hadn't chosen to to see this 2nd guy because I was told he only did OR in the local hospital where I work. (His office has also been closed all summer and I couldn't call to confirm until yesterday) Well he does have an OR in office and when talking to co-workers, they all say he does the best tummy's and beautiful breasts. Spending this much money, I owe it to myself to at least check it out and make sure that I'm happy! Right now, for once, it's all about ME! Lol

6 days till new consult

6 more days until I meet the new PS. I've decide to ask him about a full lower body lift compared to just the tummy tuck. I have lots of loose skin on the lower back and buttocks that I think could benefit from a lift as well. Can't hurt to ask him since I'm there right? Lol we'll see what the professional says. I'm so excited to hear what he has to say. Really hoping he can do the lift with small implants. Actually I'm just excited to have this surgery done!! I'm seeing all these great stories from other real selfers and can't wait to get this done!! I've let my boss know the date and booked the time off. Can't wait to see my new body!!

28 days!!!

So I met the new ps today. He was fantastic!!! So much better than I'd heard from others! He listened to me and took the time to answer all my questions. Even the silly ones. We've got a plan and I'm booked sept 29th. The only thing I worry about is will the implants be too big! I really want upper pole fullness. The only way to achieve that would be to add an implant. I have a wider chest so I need a wider implant. The ones he recommended are 450cc mod profile mentor gel. When holding them in my hand they look so huge!!! I don't want Dolly Parton titties!! Lol he's the expert! I know I won't be happy with just the lift so I need to trust the surgeon!
On the plus side, he doesn't want to do the fleur de lis on me. Said I don't have loose enough skin. I'm good with that. One less incision. I was shocked when he said I should take 6 weeks off work. Like yeah time off but everyone here says around 2 weeks. I think I'll aim for 2 and if I need more then I'll worry about it then. I've decided to go with the overnight package. My mom had the same procedure done minus breasts and she had fainting spells for the first night. I don't think hubs could handle that. lol. Plus there's 6 stairs to get to my room or any room actually so I'll take the extra tlc. ;)
I thought I would be more nervous but I'm actually so excited to have this done. I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck the day of but until then I'll just dance a little. Lol

No turning back now!

Everything is bought and paid for! Too late to turn back now! Couldn't get a refund now even if I wanted to. Lol. I've been having more issues with the loose skin on my belly lately. Mostly pain as it's so loose when laying in bed at night that it gets tucked under my hip bone and gets pinched. It wakes me up and I have to pull the skin up off the mattress. :( I had my pre-op assessment today. Labs tomorrow. Met the recovery room nurse and she has a similar autonomic condition as mine so she knows how to care for it in the recovery room. I'll be staying overnight and have a marcaine pain pump post op that will be removed on day 4. I'm really surprised though that the dr swears I'll need 6 weeks off work. Everyone I've talked to says 2 or 3 weeks max. Guess I'll just have to play it by ear. I'll take more if needed. I just can't wait to be on the flat side!! Even the nurse said she was surprised at how much skin I have. She said I'll have amazing results and will not regret getting this done.

3 more days and 4 more sleeps!

Time has just flown by!! My emotions have been all over the place from nervous to excited to terrified to nesting! Lol. I've been slowly gathering supplies. Only a few more things. Just trying to figure out what to bring to the OR day for food. They won't have anything there despite me paying to spend the night. I don't even know if they have a microwave to heat anything up if I bring soup broth and such. I'll try calling and asking tomorrow. Having a couple last date nights with friends this week and enjoying my last 3 days of workouts before I get grounded. Lol. 6 weeks of no lifting! I haven't gone that long since I started working out 2 yrs ago steady. I'm looking forward to taking those weeks to finally take things easy. It's been go-go-go for so long. I've forgotten what it's like to slow down. To top it all off, we have people coming to redo the siding/brick on our home starting oct3/16. Should be interesting trying to rest with that noise... Lol but now the house and my body will be so pretty! Lol

That moment when...

Gave up caffeine today so that I don't suffer post op. So now I'm suffering before the surgery! Lol. At least post op there are drugs for this pain! Lol. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier. Migraine from hell right now. Cold turkey is not my friend! Should have weaned sooner. Lol

Made it to the flat side!!

The anesthesiologist was amazing. She made sure to listen to my fears and everything went off without a hitch. Didn't feel anything going to sleep. Best experience. Can't believe it's done. Still groggy from sedation but it's getting less and less. I'm staying overnight and get to go home in AM. I look forward to sleeping now at home. It's so bright and loud here. I'll update more tomorrow when I'm home and less sleepy :)

Pic didn't load...

Silly phone didn't load pic

Omg. That was hard!!

First time getting up to go pee!!! All I can say is ouch!!!! I'm so swollen all over right now. They gave me extra fluids in the OR to compensate for my autonomic disorder. 4L to be exact! I've never swollen before. I have sausage fingers and toes. Lol I forgot to not tense my belly when I laid back in bed. Holy mother of Mary. Word to the wise. Don't do that! Caused a huge spasm. The doctor said he took of 4lbs of skin 10 inches wide and 3lbs of fat all together. The nurses who helped me up said I'm quite bruised from the lipo. I always bruise easily so I expected this. Looking forward to going home in the morning. I'm sure it will be more relaxing once I'm there. I'm used to sleeping in pitch dark and with a fan. None of those creature comforts here. I've been able to cough a few times as well. Well Percocet is kicking in so time to sign off and try to get more sleep.

Recovery buddy

He wants to lay on top of me but he'll have to stick with beside me. Things are getting easier. Still super dizzy so I just go slow. I almost fainted before leaving the ps office this morning to come home. My BP crashed when the dr took the binder off to change the dressing. The pressure from the binder seems to keep everything at bay. I have to sit right up over my crossed knees to feel normal. Eating my first meal of soup and crackers. Hadn't eaten much the day prior to surgery do to nerves and then nothing yesterday. Time to get some nourishment if I want to get my strength back. ;)

Wow!! Getting my arse kicked!

Feels like my hips have been kicked by horses! I haven't been sleeping well the past 2 days so it's been wrecking havoc on my POTS disorder making recovery a bit harder than usual. Plus it looks like shark week is about to start 4 days early! I tried sleeping in the bed last night with pillows pillows and more pillows. It was off and on broken sleep so around 6am I moved to the reclining couch. Finally got a couple hrs straight. Really helped my tolerance Still dizzy as hell when I get up. Haven't eaten much. Can't even tell if I'm hungry because this damn binder is so tight. Not even sure what I feel like eating. I may have overdone it yesterday by staying awake in general so today it going to be a catch up on sleep day. I just want to feel normal-ish again.

Got a sneak peak!

Hubby helped adjust the binder as some of the swelling went down and it was riding up to my chest! Still very swollen as you can see by the bra digging into my side. Can't wait until I can see more. Chest is SUPER tight. I don't know how they expect me to have a shower tomorrow as I can't imagine myself without something holding everything in place! Feels so weird without it! I see the ps Monday afternoon to get the pain pump out. I can't wait to get the drain out! He said he leaves it in 10-12 day no matter what to prevent seroma. I'm still draining lots anyways but man does that thing every sting when moved!! Luckily the pain from tummy tuck is masking the pain from shark week. Usually those cramps bring me to my knees! Lol. Had a great 2hr nap today since hubs took the kids outside for a bit. I think that's what I really need. More quality sleep. I hardly slept at the ps office and at home yesterday. Definitely take it easy. Trying to force myself to eat. That's the hardest part. I'm not hungry but I know I have to eat to heal better. Trying to stick to high protein foods. Starting to get some feeing back in my butt. If I manage to shower tomorrow, I'll get hubs to take some more pics. Thanks to all the advice and support from the ladies here! I knew what to expect and how to make it better.

CG or bra help??

Anyone have trouble with the binder and bra digging in? I've already undone the lower 3 clips on the bra as it was digging in my ribcage but the binder is digging in my hips but too loose on the top of the waist and sliding upwards. It's actually more uncomfortable than the surgery pain! I'm down to just using Tylenol ES. Everything else is too strong and honestly just make me feel stoned and didn't touch the pain. I've managed to figure out how to jimmy rig myself partially onto my side while laying on the reclining couch. What a difference in sleep! Finally got some quality and quality rest today. Here's hoping tomorrow will be even better. Can't wait until the boobies soften up. These bricks are to maneuver around! Lol

Holy hell!

Mother trucker!! I'm dead. I'm dead or dying. Holy frack! There are no drugs that can take away the pain of....
A sneak cough attack!!! Holy shit. There were tears and cries for help, my cat trying to eat my hair bun as I flailed on the couch trying to find something, anything to brace my poor abs! Broke out in full body sweat. What does My man do? Ask if I have a hairball coming out! Stupid man! If I could jump off the couch, I would have killed him! It's been 15 min since and I'm still sweating and feeling faint! Good lord I hope that never happens again. At least not for the next 6 weeks! Coughed so much even my boobs hurt!

Confession time...

I'm a nurse and as a nurse I should be able to handle some gore or gruesome photos. I can't seem to be able to look at my own wounds! I want to look. Really want to see but am grossed out at the same time. When I take off the bra or binder, I feel faint if I'm standing. I asked my hubby to peak for me. I'm afraid to look. I've seen tons of reviews on here. Looked at hundreds of after photos and not once did I flinch! I can't even look at myself. I asked hubby to take a few photos so I can look at. Maybe disassociate and it won't be so bad. Couldn't get a pic of the boobs yet. They're severely overly sensitive. I thought I would lose sensitivity but I seemed to have gained. The minute I open the bra I get all kinds of burning stabbing pain! And I keep having what I can only describe as "let down reflex". If anyone ever had overactive letdown while breastfeeding like I did, this is what I feel with the burning.
Let's talk belly. The feelings that I'm having. Like air bubbles rolling around between the skin and muscle. So weird!! I keep wanting to open the binder and see that maybe there's an alien ready to pop out. If I lay on one side, I swear I feel drops of fluid dropping to the side I'm laying on. Same if I flip over.
Anywho I took some pics for comparison as to where I end up. First pic super huge boobies! Really hoping this is more swelling than anything. These are huge. I hear everyone has boob greed by I don't. They need to shrink!! Second is the bruising from lipo. 3rd is side view of my stomach. Trying to see why it was so painful to roll even slightly on my side...


I finally managed to have a full shower and did it all by myself! lol made sure to have hubs on standby in the other room just in case. The dizziness and weakness are getting much better. No more nausea. Pain is hardly an issue and when it is, it's easily resolved with Tylenol ES. Had my first pot-op visit yesterday and I'm healing perfectly. Pain pump is out. Only the drain left to go but it's still draining over 100cc+/ day so I think I have a while yet. Boobies are still tingling all over and like bricks but I knew that was to be expected for a bit. Had a swell hell day yesterday but settling down already this morning. Got a new bra from ps since the first one was really digging into my incision. So much more comfortable!!! Only issue so far is this intense burning sensation in my left armpit when I move in certain ways. I've read it's normal as the muscle stretches. Man does it ever catch my breath!! Ouch! I finally managed to look at my wounds yesterday and was still standing! lol I'm loving my new figure already and know it's only going to get better. Managed to snap a couple pics for comparison of before/after

Oh boy!!!

First things first... you know when the dr, your mother and anyone else that's been through this tells you "take it easy. There are going to be days when you feel really good. Don't let it fool you and overdue it"? Well I'm the stubborn fool that didn't listen. I felt so good yesterday, I figured I could clean my room a bit. Sitting of course. Make dinner. Sitting in a chair again. Walked around the house more. Well today I'm paying dearly. I'm a bit more swollen but SO achy today! And when I woke up, I felt like I had barely slept! Don't be that fool! Lol I should make a meme out of myself! Lol
My son also "shouldered" me by accident giving me a hug before bed last night. That boob is really tender this morning :( Tylenol ES to the rescue!!!
I did however manage to finally use my first "selfie stick" and snap some standing pics. I know this isn't the final result yet but I'm LOVING the new figure already!! I'm starting to see an hour glass figure emerge! I'm noticing that my right breast is lower than my left. I've seen others with this so I'm hoping they will eventually even out. Bruising from lipo (despite what today's pics show) is looking 50% better than a couple of days ago. Not sure if it's the arnica gel or if I'm just healing quicker than usual.
My poor butt though!! This damn binder is squishing everything downwards and sitting all the time is really giving me pancake ass!!! And cellulite!! I had some prior but holy crap!! I've lost more weight since surgery and the cellulite looks worse than ever! Gonna have to look into some of those non-invasive treatments once I'm healed enough to tolerate being on my stomach. :( I have granny ass! Speaking of weight... I caved and weighed this morning. I'm 8lbs less than pre surgery already!!
Did anyone have issues with dizziness? This is driving me nuts and I don't know if it's normal or just me. I'm dizzy most of the days still. I make sure to drink enough. My BP is good. Not sure if this will settle soon. I had to drive down the street because my son went to the bus stop and forgot his meds this morning. First time driving. Head felt so fuzzy.

Having a poor me moment...

I'm so tired of the stupid drain and tired in general. It's uncomfortable and keeps getting caught on everything. It's a long weekend and should be removed Saturday but no one works Saturday so I need to keep it in for an extra 4 days until Tuesday! Ugh! I just want this damn thing out!! It's only draining 25-30cc/day. Not to mention that granulation tissue is growing around the tube meaning it will be even more painful to remove when they finally do. If I had the stomach for it, I'm trained and could do it myself but I know these bastards sting like a biatch when removed. There's no way I could do it. I can't be intimate in any way, shape or form with my man. We tried just snuggling while he fell asleep last night and I lasted about 30 min before my chest and abs started aching. Then I didn't sleep well all night and woke up feeling like I had the aches from a flu. Total body soreness. Couldn't get comfortable and finally went to the recliner at 4am. Slept off and on for a bit. Felt like a zombie trying to get kids up for school. So overtired now that I can't nap. Ugh! Trying to convince myself that the day will get better. Short term pain for long term gain... I would normally just got take a nice lavender Epsom salt bath but can't even do that for another 3 weeks. :( Can I just fast forward to when I feel normal again?


So when I woke up this morning I noticed that the left side is very swollen!! Not sure if this is normal! The ps office is closed today. I don't see them until Tuesday. I don't think I did anything major yesterday to cause this. I know I laid on my sides last night. It feels pretty tight right now. I'm going to try some ice later but if anyone has any other suggestions, send them my way!

It's so cute!!

The steri strips from my belly button finally came off (they were the first to get loose after 3-4 days). I caught a first glimpse of my belly button (haven't seen in 22yrs!!). It's so widdle!! It's so cute!!! Well actually it looks like brains right now but this is so much better than the tunnel of skin terror before! Lol As you can tell I still have MANY stretch marks left. At least now they are tight when I stand and not a bowl of jello jiggling. I've started getting the itches from hell. I hear it's a good sign of healing. They are going to drive me nuts! I feel and itch, I scratch said itch but my belly is numb so I feel... nothing!! Lol still itchy! I think I'm finally getting feeling back in my other nipple. Hubby tried to lightly touch it last night and as I swatted his hand away I realized I felt something! Just light but it was something. Left side is still very swollen and high compared to right but it's not any worse so I'll just monitor. I wonder if I'll need the chest strap. That left side is a good 2" higher and no signs of moving anywhere. Not sure if anyone else had this but the skin on the side boob/armpit areas is soooo sensitive. If anything even slightly rubs, it feels like a rug burn. I don't even know what I can put on it to ease the stinging. I just try to keep my arms away so no friction.
Despite being more active yesterday (walking only) I haven't noticed anymore swelling today. It was a bit tight by end of day yesterday but by morning,it seems to have gone down again. I was expecting the worst but surprised at how much energy I had. And hunger!! Yesterday was the first day I was starving! Even had to add some snacks!

Good news/bad news...

Saw the PS today hoping to get my drain out... Well good news/bad news... good news is I'm very mobile. Bad news is I'm very mobile.
Bad news- drain is draining too much and must stay in. If not resolved by Thursday afternoon, I'll have to wait until next week. This is taking forever!!! I was told ambulating was supposed to be good. Dr says nope. Grounded to bed for the next 2 days... I have ADHD and am high energy to begin with. I mean if I could do my sewing or something, I could handle this. But laying here catching up on Netflix or the book I started this summer is getting boring!! Lol I'll do it to get rid of this drain but I won't like it!! Lol
Good news- boobs are healing nicely. Bad news left is too high and rt is too low-ish. Supposedly the rt is where he would want it to end up after all is healed but it's already there meaning it could go lower. I have to wear very supportive bra/sports bra until the pocket is completely healed. No braless adventures for me yet. I might have to wear a strap next week if the lt doesn't drop. I don't know what he'll do if the right one doesn't heal up. :( I don't even want to think of a revision. I can feel it pushing to the bottom right. When I push on it,I can feel it moving back into the pocket where it's supposed to be. Updated pictures from day 4 (I think) to day 11

Stupid app!

Why doesn't this app add pictures on the first try??


Try again...

Updated pics

Day 4-ish vs day 11

So frustrated!

So the ps STILL won't remove the drain despite being down to 37cc/day at most. Has anyone ever had a drain more than 2 weeks!?? They made a new appointment for Tuesday. Next freaking Tuesday!!! I'm gonna rip this thing out by then!! It's getting caught on everything! Last night I rolled in bed and it was caught in a pillow and it ripped right off the safety pin and off my binder! The stupid suture keeps I'm embedding itself into the surrounding skin and I have to keep pulling it back out. Ugh! Not to mention that now it's leaking at the insertion site. I've had to change my underwear 2x today already. The gauze strands keep getting imbedded in the opening and I have to pull them out with tweezers. Gah!!! Was supposed to go out for dinner and a movie with friends tonight.
Most frustrating is the dr... he told me that I should be walking around the house hourly. Then when I saw him Tuesday, he says that's too much walking and grounds me to bed. Make up my mind! Same with the boobs! Says I should have gone smaller. I'm like Dude!!! I wanted smaller! You said I needed bigger due to wide chest/breasts! He's like "I said that? I don't remember! Everyone always remembers what I said except me". I need some freaking chocolate and ice cream to get me out of this funk... ????????????


So there's an area on the belly scar line that the steri strips have fallen off and I took a pic to get a closer look. (The new improved boobs make it very hard to see past them! Lol).
I'm amazed at how thin the scar is already. Only 2weeks post op and it looks this good! It's going to look so amazing once it's fully healed!
As for the drain, I moved around more yesterday. Not quite taking it easy but not overdoing it. Went for dinner with friends and a movie. Had winter tires installed on my SUV. Did a quick dash and grab at Costco. The drainage today is the lowest it's ever been and well below their "range"!! Figures their office isn't open today so stuck for the long run. Guess I didn't need to stay out and quiet. Just needed time. Why don't drs listen to patients? I know my body. I would never overdo it and ruin all that I've paid big bucks for! Lol

Anyone else?

I know it's still early but I haven't read anyone else talk about this so here goes...
When do the boobs start to feel natural or normal? I wake up every morning and my chest aches! Once I'm up moving around for a bit it settles down. It's hard to hug anyone. The big fun bags under the muscle hurt when even gently squished. Whenever I lean forward, the muscles have slight spasms and tighten up for a couple minutes. And one nipple is so overly sensitive!! Gah!! I have an abd pad against it under the bra to protect the wounds while healing and I feel everything! It's actually painful at times.
I can feel the implant pushing outwards in the bottom right breast. The left is pushing hard into my armpit. I'll probably get strapped on Tuesday to bring the left one down. I wish they had something to bring the right one up. The whole point was that I could finally venture braless sometimes but now the surgeon is telling me I will never be able to. I'll have to wear a bra 24/7 forever because it will drop too low. Rather disappointing news considering how much I spent on all this...

Tick tick tick...

5 more hours with this blasted drain!!! It's become very irritated over the weekend. It keeps tugging in and out. The stitch has been getting imbedded in my skin. The opening is getting raw and red. This can't be removed soon enough! Lol. Not to mention it's been leaking small amounts via the entrance. The gauze doesn't always absorb it all so I'm changing undies several times per day. It's pretty sensitive just to move the tube slightly so I bought some emla (lidocaine cream) to put on prior to removal since the nurse will have to twist and pull a bit to get the stitch out.
We did thanksgiving dinner Sunday and I was much more active than usual. The drainage increased to 35cc for the day. Was worried it would stay high but it dropped to 7.5cc by the next morning. It's looking pretty low again this morning too.
I find out today if I'm getting strapped. The left boob is still very high. I'm sure he'll be recommending it. I wish there was a strap to help the right boob move up a bit. I'll be asking him about what the next step will be in a couple months if this doesn't resolve. :(
I went online and bought a faja yesterday. Should be here Friday. This Velcro abdominal binder is digging like crazy. I can get the bottom tight enough but not the top. And when I finally do get the top right, the bottom is too loose. It only goes to my hips which is pulling on the section of incision at the top of the mound. I need something longer so I bought one that goes under the boobs to thigh (shorts length) with "suspenders". Hoping it will be more comfortable.

I got strapped

So I had my follow up with the ps today. The dreaded drain is out!!!!! There is no amount of preparation for this. I had emla applied to the site to numb it since the skin was red and irritated and it didn't help. Not to mention the 12" long tube under my belly skin!!! Grossest/weirdest feelings ever! Felt nauseous for a split second. It was all over under my skin. I can't even describe the weirdness. Lol
The left breast is way too high and still very tight. He's not sure if there's a seroma/bleed that happened or if it's the implant itself so he's strapped me and will re-evaluate weekly. If it doesn't resolve, the next step would be revision :( At least I won't have the belly pain to deal with. I didn't really find the breast pain that bad anyways. I actually like the strap. Makes me my boobs feel more secure. I don't get the spasms when I lean forward and don't feel like I have to hold my chest.
Right breast is fine where it is. Still pushing to the right bottom but not getting any worse.
All incisions are healing beautifully. (I'll update with pics on Thursday at the 3 week mark) a couple tiny areas leak fluids (couple drops per day) overall I can't complain. Went to visit my work peeps to say hi. Miss the social interaction but sure am glad I took the full time off. There's no way I could be full time right now.

3 week update

So here's the 3 week update pics. Excuse all the wrinkly/marked lines. I mark easily and this is after my shower and binder removal. Even the loosest bra leaves lines forever.
Not much change. My right breast is disappointing to say the least. You can clearly tell in the picture that it's dropping lower and lower while the left one stays high. The strap might be helping drop the left but it's also pushing on the right. :(
Also my belly has a loose skin flap when I sit. Nowhere near as bad as before but I was really hoping to have nothing. The swelling keeps going down and I see more and more loose skin.
Time will tell. I have to wait for the final results I guess. I don't regret doing this but I was just hoping for better results. I've had zero issues with healing so to have these complications creep up was unexpected.

Comparison pic

Day 11 vs day 21. Dramatic change... :(


It's slight but I'm starting to notice a small difference since using the strap. I asked hubs last night to make sure it wasn't just me and he said it's small difference but there. It's not feeling so close to my collar bone anymore. I've started having serous leakage from the right side. Enough that I have to change the small 3X3 pad 1-2x/day. Since starting the strap I'm noticing some slight "pinching" feelings in that left side. I'm hoping this is a good sign that the pocket is listening to allow the implant to go down. I have another follow up Tuesday morning so I'll see what he says then.
Ordered a CG from amazon. Measured myself and everything to get sizing right. It got here Thursday so I tried it on. Talk about hysterical laughing!!! It's got a hole in the crotch for bathroom breaks. I can see why!! Once you get into that thing, there is no getting back in standing in a stall at work or wherever you are. That thing is so tight that anything hat wasn't firm close to that area ended up getting squished out that hole! Lmao. I looked like I had a sausage bun sticking out!! Made my vajayjay look so hugely swollen!! I laughed and laughed!! Thankfully no one else was home. Had to call my mom to tell her and was laughing so hard, she couldn't understand me. It mostly fit but digs right under the ribs when I try to sit so I'm waiting for the one size up to get here next week. It's hard to fit properly since the ps still wants me to put abd pads against my wounds to protect them until they fully heal. Speaking of... I have a stitch dead centre of belly line that is poking through. I think the dr said something about cutting it on Tuesday. It is in the centre of a scab so hard to tell if that was it last week. This week, I can definitely tell. It's shiny when the light hits it and I can actually feel it when I run my finger over it. Like hard fishing wire.
And to top off this week of recovery, shark week decided to make an early surprise visit. AGAIN!! Like a whole 8 days early this time!! Wtf!?! I knew one might be early right after the surgery (and it was) but 2 early ones!! Arg!! When is menopause??? I'm so over bleeding for no reason! The uterus should just fall out when you're done having kids. Lol

Swell hell?

Well this is the first day I've had major swelling to the point where I'm uncomfortable!!! Eeeeek! My belly looks like I'm slightly pregnant right now! Haven't been eating anything out of the norm. Haven't been more active but I did spend a bunch of time sitting yesterday at my sewing desk so maybe that's it? Whatever the reason, the area down the whole middle of my abs is very uncomfortable. :(. Hoping this settles before tomorrow.
I've also developed a seroma. My mons is huge and now it has spread along my incision line slightly. I have a follow up tomorrow morning so we'll see what the dr says. I got my new faja today so I'm wearing that, hoping the extra compression will help either relieve this or prevent it from getting much worse. (The adventures in putting on this Chinese torture device went a lot smoother today. No massive sausage bun poking out between my legs. Lol) I'm hoping I don't need it drained as needles and I don't get along. To put it bluntly, I faint! Lol. Some nurse eh? I can give them expertly but suck at getting them. Lol. I'd mentioned this swelling a while ago before they even pulled the drain but hey always looked at it laying back so it didn't look as bad. Yesterday though it was very swollen and very obvious when touched. It was like a waterbed! Push one side and it rippled across the incision line. The line itself isn't uncomfortable but the mons is tender to firm touch.
I'll post another update tomorrow.

Not good...

Well I did have a seroma. He drained about an ounce but doesn't do it standing up so I'm sure there would have been a bit more if he had. Did not feel a thing despite the size of the needle!! The only thing I felt is the fluid being pulled across the muscles (very weird feeling). He's hoping I'll only need this once. He said the mons will decrease on it's own so that area is left a bit swollen and tender. Hoping the added compression from the garment will resolve that and prevent any further accumulation.
The breasts... he voiced his concerns today. The left one is far too high. It has come down slightly with the band but only slightly. When I take it off for any short period of time, it slowly starts to move back up. He's almost positive I'll need a revision in the future. :( the right breast has developed a large dent under it. I can feel an air bubble that moves around when I do certain movements. (That bubble was present in the recovery room but at the top of the breast so it's moved down). He said my body will reabsorb it eventually. He has no clue about the large debt and said for now he's not worried about it. I asked him why the implant is pushing so hard to the right and feels like it's literally going to fall out the side. He said "they're heavy. What do you expect?" Funny how no one else has this. I expect normal great looking boobs!! If he does a revision on the left, I'll be asking him to fix the right as well. The upper pole is not full like we had discussed therefore this implant is too low. I might even ask him to change them out for high profile if that's what it takes. For the next two weeks, I'm to massage squish the left breast downwards to see if we can loose the muscle and let it go into the pocket already.

It's official...

I will be needing a revision once I'm healed enough. I'm very disappointed as I knew there was an issue with the right breast right from the start in recovery. I hate that I have to live with the deformity for at least another 2 months. It's already uncomfortable and limits my activity. It really pulls to the outside and "pops" when I do anything leaning forward (even something as simple as picking up a dropped object). I still don't regret doing this but was really hoping for a better outcome. We'll have to wait and see how the left breast continues it's progress down but the right is definitely being done. Depending on how the left turns out, I might just ask him to do both and replace with high profiles at 400cc instead of the 450 mod profile plus.
Still having issues with the seroma. I'm wearing a CG all day and my white post op Velcro binder during the night. Hoping this will at least slow things down but I still have a slight "waterbed" of fluid along the incision line. I'll wait till Monday to see if it needs to be drained again. I'll ask him to do it standing this time to get more out. There was still a visible amount last time he did it (I was sitting slight laying back)

Remember when...

You were half asleep and half awake. You'd just had a good dream and now you are stretching every muscle in your body and flexing your abs as a way of getting rid of the last remnant of sleep. Well that just happened. Totally forgetting about the tummy tuck. Totally forgetting the pain I would endure. OUCH!!!! Onslaught of muscle spasms that felt like a Charlie horse on your calf! Now the top part feels like I've done a million sit-ups! I'm my dream it was feeling good! Lol. Gonna try and not do that again.
I need to find a CG I can sleep in. The white Velcro binder from surgery isn't cutting it. It rides up to my boobs and then bunches on my sides (which I sleep on) causing pain when I wake up. Thinking maybe some spanx or something. I'll have to go shopping to see what I can find.
I'm noticing the seroma is slowly building back up. Doesn't seem quite as much as last week (I hope). If it's still building Monday, I'll call the ps to drain again.

:( weight gain...

Ugh. This lack of activity and boredom is killing me on the scale!! One more week until I can get back to normal-ish. I'm literally stuffing myself out of boredom. The dr isn't letting me do anything. And if I disobey, then I risk not having the revision covered for free. I've gained 5 lbs in one week!! Like frack!! This stupid Halloween candy is everywhere in my house and I literally have no willpower. :( why can't they make chocolate taste like poop! Or at least smell like it!! I'm just going to have to tighten the belt and cut back everything. Go back to weighing foods and entering in fitness pal. Arg!! Stupid fat cells. I did not pay all this money to go back to being a tubby.

5weeks yesterday update

Ugh. Took some update pictures today (was 5 wpo weeks yesterday) my right implant is dropping so low! My nipple actually sits partially out of the bra now. And of course it's the super sensitive side.?? then I finally had the last of the nipple tape fall off only to see that he really messed up the shape of the areola on the good side. The nipple isn't even centred. I'll be seeing the dr Tuesday to tell him he's doing a revision as soon as I'm healed enough. I can live disappointedly with the odd shaped areola but the breast shape on the other side is so uncomfortable. The implant actually moves freely up and down within the pocket. Makes bending forward or laying on my back so uncomfortable. No much change in the belly other than the scar line softening. I thought by looking in the mirror that it looked less swollen but camera says same. I have noticed the hood above the BB is less swollen. It's getting less uncomfortable to move when I have the binder off. I might be swollen today as I did a bit of housework making and installing some new shelves in the bathroom and organizing the whole cupboard. I'll check tomorrow. Lol

5weeks and 5days

So I had my 6week follow up today. Discussed the abnormal shape of my right breast and the discomfort it's been causing. He looks at me and says he sees nothing wrong and that they look better than the last time he saw me. Like wtf?!? I told him I have pictures. I can show him how much it's changed. How can you not see that? Now he's saying I have to wait 6 months!! So pissed! I have a tropical vacation in march and I can't even wear a bikini top because you can clearly see ones up and ones down not to mention the one nipple pops out whenever I raise my arms. If he refuses to fix it, I'll have to go out of town and pay all over again. So disappointed in this. All he kept saying was that it was fluid. I can clearly feel the edge of the implant and it moves freely in the pocket. Fluid doesn't have an edge. Then he makes some comment about "this is why doctors don't like treating medical professionals like nurses..." now he's just humouring me and seeing me "sooner than he would normally see a pt at this phase" and I go back in 6 weeks. I have to continue to wear a full support compression type bra until 6 months. To hold the implant in proper position and prevent it from dropping lower (but you know. There's no problem with it) No free the tatas for me! Arg!!! Someone tell me this will turn out fine... I don't regret my belly but this boob thing is really bumming me out... I've sent a message to another surgeon to ask how long after surgery should I book a consult. I want my ducks in a row in case he says no in December.
I was cleared for upper and lower body workouts. No direct core/abs allowed until 3 months he said. I know a lot of my workouts hit abs indirectly and I didn't think to ask if those were ok... looking forward to going back to the gym and work on Monday! Trying to find some kind of binder first though. I've seen waist trainers like Ann arbour that are supposedly good for workouts. Not sure if they're worth the 80$ with shipping and handling...
I've been cleared to stop wearing my binder at night. I still have a small seroma that is finally starting to resolve on one side. He encouraged my faja during the day for as long as I felt comfortable. I could go without if I wanted to but my abs get really sore with short periods and no binder. There's an area around the top of my belly button and around the left side that aches like crazy without the binder. Almost feels like the skin is trying to separate from the muscle. Burns sometimes. Dr didn't seem concerned but not sure what to think since he's also not concerned about my breasts...

Adding pics...

So this is what "no issues" looks like... :(
Hoping to hear back from another surgeon today.

A week of firsts....

Monday was my first day back at work. It went well. Just had a bit of burning to the lower incision and minimal swelling.
Tried sleeping without any abdominal garments on Sunday night. Lasted about half way and woke up with severe pinching pain to both ends of my incisions about 3 inches long. Put the Velcro binder back on.
Made it the whole night last night but the ends of the incisions keep burning and are swollen the past 2 days. Need to find a better binder for sleeping in until this heals a bit more.
Seroma is finally starting to resolve a bit. Compression seems to be the key for me.
Slept without a bra last night. Felt weird but liberating. Figure if the one side is messed up, I can't make it any worse. Lol thankfully no pain from that.
First day back at the gym today. Holy mother of Mary! Is there not a single exercise that doesn't involve some form of abs?! Every exercise I do (even bis/tris) caused some pulling or spasm to upper abs especially. It still felt good to be out there. Just don't want to mess anything up in the abs. PS said no abs or core until 3 months. Noticed tonight that I'm swollen. Not swell hell swollen but definitely not comfortable in my compression garment swollen. Should be down by morning if it's like the other times.
Bought a waist trainer on amazon. Turns out it actually too large! When has that ever happened!! Needless to say, ordered a smaller one so waiting for that one to get here. Can't wait to try it. I'm loving my figure. My old clothes barely fit now. Very loose to the belly. So nice to see a flat stomach and not have to tuck in the skin to my pants and look like I'm partially pregnant. Having weird zapping feelings in my belly lately. Guessing it's just the nerves regenerating. Sometimes it feels like the skin is pulling or separating from the muscle when I'm not wearing the faja. Kind of like an elastic band that's been pulled tight and does a small snap back. Most of the time it just feels weird but once in a while it's stinging like a knife cut.
Boobs still messed but just learning to live with it until they can be fixed. There are worse things in the world to worry about. At least I'm not having issues with open wounds or infections or necrotic nipples. (Ah google! How it makes me feel so much better about my tiny issue... lol)
I'll try to take update pics Thursday.

7 week pics update.

Loving my shape in my workout clothes. Wore an old outfit to work today and the pants are practically falling off. Lol the shirt used to be tight and was looser today but showed off my waist. Everyone kept complimenting me on how amazing I look and how skinny my waist is! Lol. Amazing what a MR and skin removal can do!

So comfy!

Now I know most of us have heard that waist trainers are bad and this and that. Well I bought one anyways. I wanted out of my faja for better bathroom breaks but still need compression until the seroma fully heals. I found a basic mid range cheaper one on amazon and I'm thoroughly amazed!! It was about 35$ CAN and a company called Dilanni. The first one I bought was too big. I guess I should have remeasured since more swelling has gone down. Got the smaller one yesterday. Wore it all day! I don't know how tight people put these on but mine was comparable to my faja. I could still walk, talk, eat and breathe like normal. And no. It did not affect my appetite although I wish something would these days! Lol willpower is only going to take me so far if I have to be tempted by one more chocolate or candy! Lol I absolutely love this one! It was extremely comfortable all day at work. Kept everything nice and tight like it was supposed to. Was able to go to the bathroom without having to worry about peeing on the fabric from the crotch hole! Lol it does contain latex so not safe for those who are allergic. I think my only one small complaint would be that it doesn't breathe very well. (Found out after they make a breathable version which I'll buy next time) My skin when I took it off was just slightly damp so I'll stick to wearing it during the day and give my skin a break over night. ;) hubby likes that it doesn't give me a "fake butt" look like the faja does. He says he prefers my natural butt. Lol

Bra shopping!

So I finally decided to upgrade my bras. Kind of sucks because I had recently bought a whole bunch from VS thinking I'd wear them after but they slight padding for support in my saggy days and they just don't feel right now. Lol
I didn't get measured because every time I do, they measure wrong and the bra sizes they bring me are always too big in the band and too small in the cup. I knew from trying on my old bras, I was pretty close to what I was before but with upper fullness. I guess since the TT I've lost some fat around the bra line and I'm down a band size. Was 36, now 34. So cup wise I was DD and am now DDD. The bras with less support hide the breast difference really well. The ones with lots of support (that I'm supposed to wear) really show they "off-ness" of them.

Two months!

And I forgot to take update pictures! Lol nothing has changed much. I've been back at work for 2 weeks now. Man I forgot how busy that place was!! Plus they are trying to introduce new projects and models of care and guess who gets to be voluntold to help!? Moi! That will teach me to be so enthusiastic! Lol
One issue I've started having the past couple days is swelling!! I've been keeping compression all day and only removing for bedtime. The past 3-4 days I have to take it off after supper. So swollen that I look 4 months pregnant. My belly literally feels tight as a drum. It feels like the swelling is under the muscles. It gets very painful! Seems to subside by morning or at least decrease but starts again the next evening. Not sure if this is par for the course or not. Iv'e been so lucky not having any major swelling during recovery. Haven't been to the gym in a week so I know it's not that either. Just hope it stops soon!

Guess it's time for an update...

Well... it's been a bumpy 2 months but I'm muddling through. My biggest issue right now is trying to love the boobs. I want to love them. I really do. But they are so not what I expected. I believe I'm having issues with implant displacement. They are sitting lower than I would have hoped (the right one being much lower from the get go). I'm losing upper pole fullness every week which is why I went with implants to avoid this. They just look like bigger slightly saggy boobs from the front (not as saggy as before obviously but still lower than I would have liked). They don't stay in bras like I'd hope. If I bend forward, the implant moves to the point that my boob actually pops half out of the bra thus creating the quad boob when I stand back up. I really wanted to be able to go braless one day comfortably. I've also noticed that the good side deforms when bent over. Plus they move all the way up to my collar bone which makes it uncomfortable in quick situations but almost painful if I need to do anything longer. I don't see the ps until dec 14 for the next follow up. He's been pushing my issues aside all along so I have no idea what he'll say when I see him this time. Maybe he truly thought this was swelling or fluid. I just don't know. I'm torn between cutting my losses and seeing someone new but having to pay all over again or sticking with him and hoping he'll do the right thing and fix it. I just don't think it's right to make someone wait 6 months to fix something that's so obviously wrong. If he could give me a good explanation, I might consider it but just saying "because I said so" doesn't sway me. Anywho, enough about the boobs.
On to the belly. I can honestly say my belly looks 100% better than before when standing. I'd give it a 50% better when bending over. I'm left wondering if a fleur de lis would have been a better option given the amount of loose skin coming in from the sides.(see pre/post pic for visual of what I mean) I don't regret my belly one bit. Heck. Anything is better than what I had before! At least now clothes fit better and I don't have to tuck that yucky flap into my pants anymore or deal with the sweat/rashes/odour from under it. Just one of those "what if" moments.
I took some time off from the gym the past 2 weeks. Going straight back to work full time from 6 weeks off not allowed to do anything took its toll. I finally discovered what "swell hell" was and she wasn't pretty! Man that is painful!! I couldn't even last the whole day in my compression garment because it would dig in the middle where it was most swollen. But I could be without compression because it was too painful. Brought old Bessie the Velcro wrap back out for evenings. Glad I didn't toss that when I wanted to. Lol the evening swell is finally starting to slow down so I'm going to slowly reincorporate the gym. Guess it's payback for having barely any major swelling during recovery. Lol
Diet has been off with all the stress and treats everywhere! It's like every person is trying to fatten you up for the holidays. Lol Can't wait for things to get back to normal.

Almost 3 month PS follow up

Well I wish I could say I had good news... for ladies who are waiting to go through with this surgery please note my results aren't typical. Don't let my bad experience scare you off. Despite my boobs, I'm still very happy that my belly looks great. I'm more of a learning experience. Lol
yesterday was my technically 3 month follow up with the plastic surgeon. It was also the day I lost all confidence him... get your popcorn out ladies! This might be long! Lol
First things first! The bewbs! They haven't gotten any better. In fact things have gotten slightly worse. The drooping is increasing. I have noticed this past week that the left "good side" feels firmer and has been tender to massage which it was never before. I've been having discomfort when bending over all along but it's been slightly more bothersome as of late . Snuggling in bed on my side has been causing pain if hubby tried to rest his arm across my chest below my breast, even if barely touching it. It pushes the implant up and I have to hold and push my implant down to relieve the discomfort. I discussed all these issues with my PS yesterday and he had the nerve to say "you're being too sensitive and all my patients don't have pain at this point". Dude!! I didn't take any narcs for any of my 4 c-sections and only needed 4 doses of 1 Percocet post op. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so if I say something it uncomfortable, damn right it's uncomfortable and probably painful for most others... he examine breast and says he doesn't feel the firmness I describe. (Even hubby says there's a difference between both breasts) he examines the unevenness and says "you're breast fold is what it is. It was probably lower pre op and I can't change that" I remind him..." actually you said pre op when you were marking me that my breasts were so symmetrical that you could hardly see the difference between then." He just shrugged his shoulders with an "I don't know" look on his face. I show him my picture of what happens to my breast when leaning forward. Says it's odd but he can't explain it. Asks me to lift my arms which clearly shows lower side and says "I guess that's just the way you are and there nothing I can do for it" so then he asks me to put my arms on my hips and flex the chest muscles. I had never done this yet so I had no idea what was about to happen... cue the dancing breasts! (See photos for visual) the dr gets a shocked look on his face and says "well that's one of the most severe cases of muscle flex deformity I've seen". (Didn't even know what this was) I'm watching my breasts spread up and to my armpits! I ask "how can this be fixed?" He says it can't be. I ask about exercising and he says do more as it "might"stretch the scar tissue and make it better but probably won't work. Not once did he ever discuss this complication! I even told him I weight lifted pre op(a google search revealed this is more common in those who weight lift) so now he's saying there's not much he can do. Internally I'm crying but until I leave I've got my big girl panties on... I spent the night researching this new development and it can be repaired by unfortunately I will have to have implants over muscle only. I called other PS all morning. Even ones that had answered my question in the ask a dr section. Everyone said "we don't touch other surgeons botched work". Finally the last person I talked to, I broke down and pleaded my case explaining everything. How can surgeons leave people like this? What do they suggest? Is there a website I could go to and find a dr who will help? What would you recommend your friend to do? Finally she gave me the name of a couple people to try. One of them coincidentally was a name I was recommended pre op but the distance and children factors topped a good review. (Note to self, never again!) I've already made a call for a second opinion which won't happen until march 7/17 since most big drs in Toronto are very busy and booked until then. They are putting me on a cancellation list just in case something earlier opens up. I really hope this guy can help. :( this is really affecting my self esteem. It's making me depressed. I didn't pay all this money and time to have these results.
Now for the belly. It's the least of my problems. I have been having a foulish odour coming from my BB and he cleared me for cleaning with q-tips and peroxide. He then says "I think I put your BB too high. It creating a tunnel downwards which might be keeping sweat and fluid causing the smell." Personally I think my BB is fine where it is and I don't plan on changing it. I can deal with having to do some extra cleansing. Then he asks me about massaging and I say I'm massaging my breasts every day a couple times like you said. He asks me "aren't you massaging your abdomen?" I say no I was never told I needed to and it's not in any of the post op care papers. He says I'm causing all kinds of issues by not following what he recommends. Wtf?!? Dude you never said anything! So apparently I'm supposed to apply moisturizer all over my abdomen and do 3 finger circular massage to my entire abdomen focusing more on the scar line every day.
I'm just done. I've never in my life as a patient or as a nurse, experienced anything like this. Complete lack of continuity of care, of organization, of accountability...
side note... in my attempt to make myself feel better, I discovered that I can now jingle my breasts up and down to the beat of music like body building men do! I showed this to my husband last night and he just smirked and shook his head. Apparently it's not a good party trick when a woman does it... I did however find THE perfect NYE dress. So there's that... now to just find shoes... anyone have any tips for going braless? Like is there some special tape I can use to hold my girls in place? I can't go braless like the other lucky ladies so I need industrial strength duck tape or something...

3.5 months

Well nothing much visually has changed since my last update. I've noticed that laying on my back or certain side positions is causing increasing discomfort to the sides of my breasts. I've been getting small stabbing pains to the outside of my right breast and burning stabbing in my left upper arm close to my armpit. Area about 2inches long. I've also noticed that when I raise my arms, there's an area on "the bad side" where I'm starting to really see the implant push down and to the side. I've developed a small indent area on the good side just beside the nipple around the 10 o'clock position. Not sure what that's from but looks like a bruise or shadow whenever I try to get a picture of it. Gained a bit of weight over the holidays because... well... it was Christmas and frankly I just didn't give a shit what I ate! Lol I'm back on track this week so I should be back to baseline soon but 10lbs is not comfortable when gained so quickly. Lol I wore my dress on New Years and looked awesome. Felt awesome too. Anxiously waiting for march 7th to come for the new consult. I keep missing the calls for earlier cancellations since I've been swamped at work lately. Won't be long now. Just hoping that he can help. I think I might be developing dog ears though at the end of my incisions. I'll post pics for you guys to see what I mean. Or maybe it's just where all that Christmas fat went! Lol started training back at the gym. Actually did a full ab workout without any major pains! 100 front crunches and 100 per side oblique crunches. Was expecting major pain but felt more like trying to work out after a slight case of delayed onset muscle soreness. And no increase in discomfort the next day! Glad I took the extra time off to let my body heal. Now time to hit it hard because this mama has booked a vacay in Cancun for end of march!!! I'm going to try the full halter style bikinis to see if they help hide the boobie imperfections. Won't be a nice tan line but it is what it is. I'll just have to even it out in the summer after my revision! ;)

It's been a while...

I figure I should add an update before I see the new surgeon next week. Not much new. A lot more lateral displacement going on lately. It's hard to get a good picture but my chest is almost flat when I lay on my back. If I sit with my arm under my breast and lean forward, the implant feels like it's actually flipping under the muscle. Not comfortable. Belly looks fine. I'm getting swelling above the belly button more these days. I've been about 2 full weeks without my compression garment or any support of any kind. It was a safety blanket and now that I've gone without, it's been nice to have the freedom. Only 3 more week until our cancun trip. I'm feeling a bit bummed out. I really thought I'd be ok with scars but I don't think i could go topless ever. Now to find a bathing suit... that's another issue. With the one lower implant, I risk a peekaboo nipple. I looked at halter style tops but can't seem to find anything that fits well. My boobs are huge and my ribcage is smaller. I either find cups that fit and band way too big or band that fits and cups too small. Ugh. It's a bit discouraging. And now all the what-ifs are running through me head. Like what if the surgeon can't fix me. Or what if the surgeon makes things worse. What if I have to give up my dream boobies for tiny tatas! I'd like them a cup size smaller and that's about it. I've never been smaller than a D except in my teen years. I love the proportional size to my body. I'm going to also ask of the surgeon can fix the dog ears. Not sure if I should make a new review for the new surgeon or just keep adding to this one... I'll decide later. Lol

Tomorrow's the big C

Heading to a big city tomorrow morning for my revision consult tomorrow. Any questions I need to make sure to ask? I want to make sure I get everything I need out of this!! Nervous that he'll say he can't help or that all the issues are in my head. Lol I know it's ridiculous thinking but ever since the last dr refused to acknowledge my issues, I'm doubting myself. Others agreed with me so I know I'm not imagining but there's still this seed of doubt... Just can't wait for this to be over and finally enjoy my new body. I noticed I'm getting increasing discomfort if I try to sleep on my back. The muscle area in between the breasts has a dull ache for a few hours after I wake up. My bad side is pulling/pinching more below my armpit. They also seem to be spreading out more on the bottom poles just standing braless. If I wear an underwire heavy duty sports bra, I actually ache for about an hour after taking it off. All in all, not fun. Hubby loves them. I just don't. I'm probably the only on this site that's ever said this but... I was hoping to lose sensation to my nipples!! Instead it's same as ever. My 2nd half of menstrual cycle is so painful with tenderness that I was hoping I'd get a bit of relief. Lol thanks to everyone who's been encouraging me through all this. I'll start a new review after I meet him and if I move forward with him. Stayed tuned!!

Sorry for the delay

I've been so busy since my consult with finishing up the snowmobile season and getting ready for cancun in one week!!
Alright. Sooo good news and bad news...
consult went well. I really liked the opinion he had. He seemed very knowledgeable and saw my issues right away. He did say that some of my issue might be exaggerated because I'm unhappy with the overall shape and results. I can accept that. I might be "nit picking". Lol but when you pay that much, you expect good results! Right???!!! Lol
The good... he can definitely redo and fix the issues. He suggested going down size in implants to 300cc and low profile to give me the main fullness and then do fat grafting to give me upper pole fullness. He would revise the lift which did not have enough skin tightened by doing a full anchor incision. He thinks the dr picked too big of an implant and, looking at my pre pictures, he would have offered me this plan right from the start since I do have a lot of dense breast tissue.
The bad: he wants to charge 16k for this redo!! This is what I paid for my entire MM!! Holy crap! I had 10k saved. I was not expecting that at all!!
He suggested that I still try and work with the previous surgeon to fix his mistakes. As a surgeon he would want his clients happy so I should try talking to him again. He was very professional in his wording so not to bad mouth to other dr which was fine. I just don't know if I have to confidence in him.
Do to cost alone, I have decided to meet my previous dr one last time (may9th) and discuss the issues. If he still refuses, I will have no choice but to fork out the extra money for the new surgeon.
It was a good and informative visit. He went over issues and possibilities that my previous dr did not explain or even mention. I don't know if I'm being unrealistic thinking 16k is too high or not. I was expecting half that cost like my last surgeon. Or 10k at most. I've got some planning and thinking to do. Either way, I need some form of revision just due to pain alone. Until then, I'm going to hope my nipple stays in my bikini top during my vacay. My man saw what I meant when we did jacuzzi with the kids this past weekend. Lol. I've already warned him, he's on nip-watch while on the beaches! He laughed and said just go topless. Ummmmm nope! Lol. I'll try some double sided body tape just in case. Lol

Update time!!

Well for some reason I thought my appointment with my original surgeon was may 9th but it was actually today. I saw the nurse first and told her I went to see other surgeons for second opinions. Told her what they said. She just shrugged and took the 6month pictures. Doctor came in and finally agreed that there's an issue. Says my skin has sagged a lot since he last saw me. (Funny because they look the same. I'll take pics later to compare). There was a lot of denial and deflection and blame but in the end, he's agreed to do the revision. The only cost to me will be the new implants as I will be downsizing to 325cc mod profile plus. It was a frustrating visit in a way. He said my expectations weren't realistic. I asked him to give me approximations and he said he couldn't because I'd expect that. I said to give me ranges and he said he wouldn't. Denied or didn't recall some of our previous convos. We talked about my belly and how the top part is round and not flat like the bottom half. He grabs the top part pinching my belly and says"you still have quite a bit of fat you could lose here" there's maybe a pound or two of fat if that. Sheesh! Anyways he agreed to lipo it. (Again while complaining that I was being difficult to please). It's actually very noticeable otherwise I wouldn't care and would just leave it. Mentioned the hood of skin above belly button and said he can't do anything more because you'll see the scar and the belly button won't look natural. Whatever. If that's the worst I have to deal with then so be it. Talked about my dog ears and he mentioned that he'd have to cut further back. I said maybe we should have done the belt procedure like I asked (he said I have too much loose skin around the back too but previously said it wasn't bad pre surgery) He said he didn't want to give me the big scar. At this point what's the deal with scars. I'm covered in stretch marks. he's not sure if he'll fix the dog ears at the same time as the breasts or if that will be separate because of how far back he'd have to go. Told him I don't care. I look funny in a bathing suit with flaps of skin hanging over. One side way worse then the other. If it has to be a separate procedure then so be it. I know some of your are thinking why bother going back to him with all that he's done and denied. Short answer? I really can't afford a whole other surgery. The right side is becoming more uncomfortable so I can't just live with it either. I'm hoping I'm picking the lesser of the two evils. The one consult I had said that he knew my surgeon and said that I should give him a second chance to make it better as he himself would want to make sure that his clients are happy. So that's what I'm going to do. One more chance. And a tentative booking for jun 22/17 (if they have room) and hubby will be out of town so I will have a friend take me. I'll keep you all posted and try to remember pics tomorrow. Lol

Updated pictures...

So here's some updated pics. Be honest. Am I the only who sees theses issues? Lol

Houston? We have a date!!

Well my PS is being very gracious lately. He doesn't normally work July or august and because June was full, he's adding me on July6th! So my revision will be done then! Very excited for this. Crossing my fingers that this will be the last surgery and I can go on enjoying the tatas! Lol I'm working out hard at the gym the past month. Really want to be in peak shape so that I don't lose too much when I'm grounded postop. Lol I'm just getting back to my baseline weight lifting so I want to add as much as I can before surgery. I'm gonna be one hell of a sexy bitch this summer! Mouahahahaha. Lol ok maybe a sexy mouse since I tend to be quiet. Lol
Dr Charles Kettle

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