38 Yrs Old, 4 Kids by C-section and Wanting my Figure Back! - Ontario

I've been debating getting a mommy makeover for...

I've been debating getting a mommy makeover for years but have finally decided it's time!! 4 big pregnancies and lots of loose skin makes me so embarrassed to show my belly. Hoping to get TT, BL and possibly implants. Love seeing all these stories before and after of people who had it done. Gives me more confidence to do me! Waiting for consult in my small hometown but might go to Toronto or Ottawa since I work at the only local hospital and know everyone.

Dream boobies!!

So I'm scouring the Internet for before and afters. This way when I finally have my consult, I can show the dr what I'd like to achieve and if it's realistic or not...

More wish bewbs

Still haven't found THE ps yet. I've narrowed it down to 4 I think. One local and 3 out of town. Need to get some time off to see the out of towners. Until then, I find dream bewbies!


Hoping that my ps can do a line like this so that it's nicely hiding during bathing suit season.

More bewbs!

Need to get these off my phone's photo album! Lol kids keep grabbing my phone and I don't want them seeing these. Lol

Wish list part...

Uploading more wish list lol

Nerves already...

So I almost booked a consult today then chickened out at the last minute. What is holding me back? My fear of being or to sleep! It's so intense! I had a really bad experience when I was a teen and its stuck with me. Plus I want to lose 15 more lbs so that the TT results are the best I can get. Can't get anything done until the fall anyways due to lack of staff at work. Not sure if I should wait or just do it. Lol. Maybe tomorrow??

Consult booked!!

I finally picked a surgeon and booked a consult. I chose this one in particular because he has a good reputation and he does all the work in his private clinic so I won't need to be in the local hospital where I work. I go for my consult on July 19th!! I was so nervous and now I feel relieved. Lol. After 21 years with this stomach I've finally pushed myself to get it fixed. And since I'll be under the girls will get a bit of a touch up as well ;)

One month till consult!

Finally booked it! Took three days to finally pick up the phone and complete dialling but I did it!! I was so nervous but now that I've made the appointment I feel a sense of relief. I'll feel even better once I have the procedure! I have a new resolve to get in the best shape ever. It's already paying off as people are commenting that I look like I've lost weight even though I haven't lost any weight, just inches. I'll take it! I've chosen Dr Barr. He's got a state of the art ER right in his building so I get to avoid nosey nelly's at work. So looking forward to this!!!


5 days till consult! Trying hard to lose additional weight so that I can get the best results possible. So excited to hear what this dr can do for me!

Consult done!

So today was consult day. Good news is that he thinks implants aren't necessary since I still have quite dense breasts and a lift should be able to maintain size but by the girls back where they belong. Bad news is that abdomen is so stretched that he thinks a fleur de lis tummy tuck would be best. If I don't, I would end up with fullness still on the sides (even with lipo) and in the upper abdomen with skin laxity. I have stretch marks all the way up to my ribs anyways so I figure people will be less likely to stare at a scar line than "Edward scissor hands attacked my belly" look. Lol.
He did say that I have good abs under all that skin and might even end up with a six pack! Say what?!?!
So surgery is booked for September 20th! 2 months exactly from tomorrow.
Only thing I didn't like was that he was very rushed during the consult. Didn't give me much time to ask questions but supposedly a nurse will be calling 4 weeks pre-op that should be able to answer all my questions.

No turning back now...

Paid a non refundable deposit to guarantee my date!! Time to work my arse off and loose an extra 10lbs. I've been stable at my current weight for years but since the doctor said I have poor skin elasticity and he has to balance the pull with the surgery against my skin stretch (so I don't end up with marks again) I want to lose more to give more skin to pull. This way if I go back to my maintained weight later, my skin will still be tight. He said that would be the best plan. If that becomes my new maintained weight then I'll be happy with that too ;)
I'm still torn about the boobs... I'm no professional and maybe he just didn't explain it enough... I still don't see how he can say my boobies will stay the same size with mastopexy alone... There's a lot of lose skin and when that skin is removed, size will decrease right? Ugh! I wish I would have bought smaller VS bathing suits! I have all these bras and bikini tops in my current size and they are discontinuing their swim line :( I just fill the current size so now I'm thinking they will be too big. Hubby says just try it out for now. I just don't want to be disappointed when everything is all said and done. KWIM?

Random question... I had a horrible experience being put to sleep 25yrs ago.
What does it feel like when they put you to sleep now? Do they use the mask first? Straight to IV? Hoping that this time will be a much better experience.

Second consult

Second consult with same doctor today. Worked out since his computer deleted my measurements and he needed to get them again anyways. Just needed to ease my fears since I forgot a few questions the last time distracted by the abdominal incision extra scar. Made it clear I want upper pole fullness. Don't want to have high nipples if the top mound look like ski jumps and flat! Lol. He assured me that I have ample amount of breast tissue to create upper pole unlike some others with major weight loss. He also said that's why I have so much pain with hormones around ovulation to period time. He said this surgery might actually do some good and decrease the pain I get for those 2 weeks after ovulation. YAY!! Going to attempt to upload before breast pictures I took last week. Keep forgetting to take belly pics. Need to do that too! Need something to compare to later! Lol

The dreaded belly...

Well I finally bought a Selfie stick! Lol. I'm probably way behind in time but I'm catching up. Lol. I finally took some pick of the belly. Can't wait until this is gone!! I always knew I had lots of loose skin but never took pics of myself to see from different angles. YUCK!! It doesn't look that bad standing up (and with clothes!) but I hate how it hangs and flaps when I'm bent over. And don't even get me started about sex! I'm basically giving myself a standing ovation as it flaps around and slaps my thighs!! Ugh! I will not miss this one bit!! People keep telling me "it doesn't look that bad". Until you see it naked, you can't know... Lol

Delayed for now...

I did a thing today. I wasn't happy with the opinion of the ps so I'm getting a second opinion sept 1/16. The 1st one said you can never get implants at the same time as a lift. I've read many stories and seen many pictures of this being very possible. Another problem is that he doesn't offer discount for getting more than one procedure done at the same time. He charges double for the anesthesiologist and the recovery room and everything else. So instead of paying an extra 2500$ or so to have boobs done at same time, I would have to go back in 6 months to get them done and pay another 7500$ on top of the 15000$. I delayed his surgery by 2weeks to give me enough time to see the other Dr and get his opinion. The new guy has OR room on sept 29th and the old one has been pushed to October 4th/16. Only 2 extra weeks of waiting at worst case scenario. I hadn't chosen to to see this 2nd guy because I was told he only did OR in the local hospital where I work. (His office has also been closed all summer and I couldn't call to confirm until yesterday) Well he does have an OR in office and when talking to co-workers, they all say he does the best tummy's and beautiful breasts. Spending this much money, I owe it to myself to at least check it out and make sure that I'm happy! Right now, for once, it's all about ME! Lol

6 days till new consult

6 more days until I meet the new PS. I've decide to ask him about a full lower body lift compared to just the tummy tuck. I have lots of loose skin on the lower back and buttocks that I think could benefit from a lift as well. Can't hurt to ask him since I'm there right? Lol we'll see what the professional says. I'm so excited to hear what he has to say. Really hoping he can do the lift with small implants. Actually I'm just excited to have this surgery done!! I'm seeing all these great stories from other real selfers and can't wait to get this done!! I've let my boss know the date and booked the time off. Can't wait to see my new body!!

28 days!!!

So I met the new ps today. He was fantastic!!! So much better than I'd heard from others! He listened to me and took the time to answer all my questions. Even the silly ones. We've got a plan and I'm booked sept 29th. The only thing I worry about is will the implants be too big! I really want upper pole fullness. The only way to achieve that would be to add an implant. I have a wider chest so I need a wider implant. The ones he recommended are 450cc mod profile mentor gel. When holding them in my hand they look so huge!!! I don't want Dolly Parton titties!! Lol he's the expert! I know I won't be happy with just the lift so I need to trust the surgeon!
On the plus side, he doesn't want to do the fleur de lis on me. Said I don't have loose enough skin. I'm good with that. One less incision. I was shocked when he said I should take 6 weeks off work. Like yeah time off but everyone here says around 2 weeks. I think I'll aim for 2 and if I need more then I'll worry about it then. I've decided to go with the overnight package. My mom had the same procedure done minus breasts and she had fainting spells for the first night. I don't think hubs could handle that. lol. Plus there's 6 stairs to get to my room or any room actually so I'll take the extra tlc. ;)
I thought I would be more nervous but I'm actually so excited to have this done. I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck the day of but until then I'll just dance a little. Lol

No turning back now!

Everything is bought and paid for! Too late to turn back now! Couldn't get a refund now even if I wanted to. Lol. I've been having more issues with the loose skin on my belly lately. Mostly pain as it's so loose when laying in bed at night that it gets tucked under my hip bone and gets pinched. It wakes me up and I have to pull the skin up off the mattress. :( I had my pre-op assessment today. Labs tomorrow. Met the recovery room nurse and she has a similar autonomic condition as mine so she knows how to care for it in the recovery room. I'll be staying overnight and have a marcaine pain pump post op that will be removed on day 4. I'm really surprised though that the dr swears I'll need 6 weeks off work. Everyone I've talked to says 2 or 3 weeks max. Guess I'll just have to play it by ear. I'll take more if needed. I just can't wait to be on the flat side!! Even the nurse said she was surprised at how much skin I have. She said I'll have amazing results and will not regret getting this done.

3 more days and 4 more sleeps!

Time has just flown by!! My emotions have been all over the place from nervous to excited to terrified to nesting! Lol. I've been slowly gathering supplies. Only a few more things. Just trying to figure out what to bring to the OR day for food. They won't have anything there despite me paying to spend the night. I don't even know if they have a microwave to heat anything up if I bring soup broth and such. I'll try calling and asking tomorrow. Having a couple last date nights with friends this week and enjoying my last 3 days of workouts before I get grounded. Lol. 6 weeks of no lifting! I haven't gone that long since I started working out 2 yrs ago steady. I'm looking forward to taking those weeks to finally take things easy. It's been go-go-go for so long. I've forgotten what it's like to slow down. To top it all off, we have people coming to redo the siding/brick on our home starting oct3/16. Should be interesting trying to rest with that noise... Lol but now the house and my body will be so pretty! Lol

That moment when...

Gave up caffeine today so that I don't suffer post op. So now I'm suffering before the surgery! Lol. At least post op there are drugs for this pain! Lol. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier. Migraine from hell right now. Cold turkey is not my friend! Should have weaned sooner. Lol

Made it to the flat side!!

The anesthesiologist was amazing. She made sure to listen to my fears and everything went off without a hitch. Didn't feel anything going to sleep. Best experience. Can't believe it's done. Still groggy from sedation but it's getting less and less. I'm staying overnight and get to go home in AM. I look forward to sleeping now at home. It's so bright and loud here. I'll update more tomorrow when I'm home and less sleepy :)

Pic didn't load...

Silly phone didn't load pic

Omg. That was hard!!

First time getting up to go pee!!! All I can say is ouch!!!! I'm so swollen all over right now. They gave me extra fluids in the OR to compensate for my autonomic disorder. 4L to be exact! I've never swollen before. I have sausage fingers and toes. Lol I forgot to not tense my belly when I laid back in bed. Holy mother of Mary. Word to the wise. Don't do that! Caused a huge spasm. The doctor said he took of 4lbs of skin 10 inches wide and 3lbs of fat all together. The nurses who helped me up said I'm quite bruised from the lipo. I always bruise easily so I expected this. Looking forward to going home in the morning. I'm sure it will be more relaxing once I'm there. I'm used to sleeping in pitch dark and with a fan. None of those creature comforts here. I've been able to cough a few times as well. Well Percocet is kicking in so time to sign off and try to get more sleep.

Recovery buddy

He wants to lay on top of me but he'll have to stick with beside me. Things are getting easier. Still super dizzy so I just go slow. I almost fainted before leaving the ps office this morning to come home. My BP crashed when the dr took the binder off to change the dressing. The pressure from the binder seems to keep everything at bay. I have to sit right up over my crossed knees to feel normal. Eating my first meal of soup and crackers. Hadn't eaten much the day prior to surgery do to nerves and then nothing yesterday. Time to get some nourishment if I want to get my strength back. ;)

Wow!! Getting my arse kicked!

Feels like my hips have been kicked by horses! I haven't been sleeping well the past 2 days so it's been wrecking havoc on my POTS disorder making recovery a bit harder than usual. Plus it looks like shark week is about to start 4 days early! I tried sleeping in the bed last night with pillows pillows and more pillows. It was off and on broken sleep so around 6am I moved to the reclining couch. Finally got a couple hrs straight. Really helped my tolerance Still dizzy as hell when I get up. Haven't eaten much. Can't even tell if I'm hungry because this damn binder is so tight. Not even sure what I feel like eating. I may have overdone it yesterday by staying awake in general so today it going to be a catch up on sleep day. I just want to feel normal-ish again.

Got a sneak peak!

Hubby helped adjust the binder as some of the swelling went down and it was riding up to my chest! Still very swollen as you can see by the bra digging into my side. Can't wait until I can see more. Chest is SUPER tight. I don't know how they expect me to have a shower tomorrow as I can't imagine myself without something holding everything in place! Feels so weird without it! I see the ps Monday afternoon to get the pain pump out. I can't wait to get the drain out! He said he leaves it in 10-12 day no matter what to prevent seroma. I'm still draining lots anyways but man does that thing every sting when moved!! Luckily the pain from tummy tuck is masking the pain from shark week. Usually those cramps bring me to my knees! Lol. Had a great 2hr nap today since hubs took the kids outside for a bit. I think that's what I really need. More quality sleep. I hardly slept at the ps office and at home yesterday. Definitely take it easy. Trying to force myself to eat. That's the hardest part. I'm not hungry but I know I have to eat to heal better. Trying to stick to high protein foods. Starting to get some feeing back in my butt. If I manage to shower tomorrow, I'll get hubs to take some more pics. Thanks to all the advice and support from the ladies here! I knew what to expect and how to make it better.

CG or bra help??

Anyone have trouble with the binder and bra digging in? I've already undone the lower 3 clips on the bra as it was digging in my ribcage but the binder is digging in my hips but too loose on the top of the waist and sliding upwards. It's actually more uncomfortable than the surgery pain! I'm down to just using Tylenol ES. Everything else is too strong and honestly just make me feel stoned and didn't touch the pain. I've managed to figure out how to jimmy rig myself partially onto my side while laying on the reclining couch. What a difference in sleep! Finally got some quality and quality rest today. Here's hoping tomorrow will be even better. Can't wait until the boobies soften up. These bricks are to maneuver around! Lol

Holy hell!

Mother trucker!! I'm dead. I'm dead or dying. Holy frack! There are no drugs that can take away the pain of....
A sneak cough attack!!! Holy shit. There were tears and cries for help, my cat trying to eat my hair bun as I flailed on the couch trying to find something, anything to brace my poor abs! Broke out in full body sweat. What does My man do? Ask if I have a hairball coming out! Stupid man! If I could jump off the couch, I would have killed him! It's been 15 min since and I'm still sweating and feeling faint! Good lord I hope that never happens again. At least not for the next 6 weeks! Coughed so much even my boobs hurt!

Confession time...

I'm a nurse and as a nurse I should be able to handle some gore or gruesome photos. I can't seem to be able to look at my own wounds! I want to look. Really want to see but am grossed out at the same time. When I take off the bra or binder, I feel faint if I'm standing. I asked my hubby to peak for me. I'm afraid to look. I've seen tons of reviews on here. Looked at hundreds of after photos and not once did I flinch! I can't even look at myself. I asked hubby to take a few photos so I can look at. Maybe disassociate and it won't be so bad. Couldn't get a pic of the boobs yet. They're severely overly sensitive. I thought I would lose sensitivity but I seemed to have gained. The minute I open the bra I get all kinds of burning stabbing pain! And I keep having what I can only describe as "let down reflex". If anyone ever had overactive letdown while breastfeeding like I did, this is what I feel with the burning.
Let's talk belly. The feelings that I'm having. Like air bubbles rolling around between the skin and muscle. So weird!! I keep wanting to open the binder and see that maybe there's an alien ready to pop out. If I lay on one side, I swear I feel drops of fluid dropping to the side I'm laying on. Same if I flip over.
Anywho I took some pics for comparison as to where I end up. First pic super huge boobies! Really hoping this is more swelling than anything. These are huge. I hear everyone has boob greed by I don't. They need to shrink!! Second is the bruising from lipo. 3rd is side view of my stomach. Trying to see why it was so painful to roll even slightly on my side...


I finally managed to have a full shower and did it all by myself! lol made sure to have hubs on standby in the other room just in case. The dizziness and weakness are getting much better. No more nausea. Pain is hardly an issue and when it is, it's easily resolved with Tylenol ES. Had my first pot-op visit yesterday and I'm healing perfectly. Pain pump is out. Only the drain left to go but it's still draining over 100cc+/ day so I think I have a while yet. Boobies are still tingling all over and like bricks but I knew that was to be expected for a bit. Had a swell hell day yesterday but settling down already this morning. Got a new bra from ps since the first one was really digging into my incision. So much more comfortable!!! Only issue so far is this intense burning sensation in my left armpit when I move in certain ways. I've read it's normal as the muscle stretches. Man does it ever catch my breath!! Ouch! I finally managed to look at my wounds yesterday and was still standing! lol I'm loving my new figure already and know it's only going to get better. Managed to snap a couple pics for comparison of before/after

Oh boy!!!

First things first... you know when the dr, your mother and anyone else that's been through this tells you "take it easy. There are going to be days when you feel really good. Don't let it fool you and overdue it"? Well I'm the stubborn fool that didn't listen. I felt so good yesterday, I figured I could clean my room a bit. Sitting of course. Make dinner. Sitting in a chair again. Walked around the house more. Well today I'm paying dearly. I'm a bit more swollen but SO achy today! And when I woke up, I felt like I had barely slept! Don't be that fool! Lol I should make a meme out of myself! Lol
My son also "shouldered" me by accident giving me a hug before bed last night. That boob is really tender this morning :( Tylenol ES to the rescue!!!
I did however manage to finally use my first "selfie stick" and snap some standing pics. I know this isn't the final result yet but I'm LOVING the new figure already!! I'm starting to see an hour glass figure emerge! I'm noticing that my right breast is lower than my left. I've seen others with this so I'm hoping they will eventually even out. Bruising from lipo (despite what today's pics show) is looking 50% better than a couple of days ago. Not sure if it's the arnica gel or if I'm just healing quicker than usual.
My poor butt though!! This damn binder is squishing everything downwards and sitting all the time is really giving me pancake ass!!! And cellulite!! I had some prior but holy crap!! I've lost more weight since surgery and the cellulite looks worse than ever! Gonna have to look into some of those non-invasive treatments once I'm healed enough to tolerate being on my stomach. :( I have granny ass! Speaking of weight... I caved and weighed this morning. I'm 8lbs less than pre surgery already!!
Did anyone have issues with dizziness? This is driving me nuts and I don't know if it's normal or just me. I'm dizzy most of the days still. I make sure to drink enough. My BP is good. Not sure if this will settle soon. I had to drive down the street because my son went to the bus stop and forgot his meds this morning. First time driving. Head felt so fuzzy.

Having a poor me moment...

I'm so tired of the stupid drain and tired in general. It's uncomfortable and keeps getting caught on everything. It's a long weekend and should be removed Saturday but no one works Saturday so I need to keep it in for an extra 4 days until Tuesday! Ugh! I just want this damn thing out!! It's only draining 25-30cc/day. Not to mention that granulation tissue is growing around the tube meaning it will be even more painful to remove when they finally do. If I had the stomach for it, I'm trained and could do it myself but I know these bastards sting like a biatch when removed. There's no way I could do it. I can't be intimate in any way, shape or form with my man. We tried just snuggling while he fell asleep last night and I lasted about 30 min before my chest and abs started aching. Then I didn't sleep well all night and woke up feeling like I had the aches from a flu. Total body soreness. Couldn't get comfortable and finally went to the recliner at 4am. Slept off and on for a bit. Felt like a zombie trying to get kids up for school. So overtired now that I can't nap. Ugh! Trying to convince myself that the day will get better. Short term pain for long term gain... I would normally just got take a nice lavender Epsom salt bath but can't even do that for another 3 weeks. :( Can I just fast forward to when I feel normal again?


So when I woke up this morning I noticed that the left side is very swollen!! Not sure if this is normal! The ps office is closed today. I don't see them until Tuesday. I don't think I did anything major yesterday to cause this. I know I laid on my sides last night. It feels pretty tight right now. I'm going to try some ice later but if anyone has any other suggestions, send them my way!

It's so cute!!

The steri strips from my belly button finally came off (they were the first to get loose after 3-4 days). I caught a first glimpse of my belly button (haven't seen in 22yrs!!). It's so widdle!! It's so cute!!! Well actually it looks like brains right now but this is so much better than the tunnel of skin terror before! Lol As you can tell I still have MANY stretch marks left. At least now they are tight when I stand and not a bowl of jello jiggling. I've started getting the itches from hell. I hear it's a good sign of healing. They are going to drive me nuts! I feel and itch, I scratch said itch but my belly is numb so I feel... nothing!! Lol still itchy! I think I'm finally getting feeling back in my other nipple. Hubby tried to lightly touch it last night and as I swatted his hand away I realized I felt something! Just light but it was something. Left side is still very swollen and high compared to right but it's not any worse so I'll just monitor. I wonder if I'll need the chest strap. That left side is a good 2" higher and no signs of moving anywhere. Not sure if anyone else had this but the skin on the side boob/armpit areas is soooo sensitive. If anything even slightly rubs, it feels like a rug burn. I don't even know what I can put on it to ease the stinging. I just try to keep my arms away so no friction.
Despite being more active yesterday (walking only) I haven't noticed anymore swelling today. It was a bit tight by end of day yesterday but by morning,it seems to have gone down again. I was expecting the worst but surprised at how much energy I had. And hunger!! Yesterday was the first day I was starving! Even had to add some snacks!

Good news/bad news...

Saw the PS today hoping to get my drain out... Well good news/bad news... good news is I'm very mobile. Bad news is I'm very mobile.
Bad news- drain is draining too much and must stay in. If not resolved by Thursday afternoon, I'll have to wait until next week. This is taking forever!!! I was told ambulating was supposed to be good. Dr says nope. Grounded to bed for the next 2 days... I have ADHD and am high energy to begin with. I mean if I could do my sewing or something, I could handle this. But laying here catching up on Netflix or the book I started this summer is getting boring!! Lol I'll do it to get rid of this drain but I won't like it!! Lol
Good news- boobs are healing nicely. Bad news left is too high and rt is too low-ish. Supposedly the rt is where he would want it to end up after all is healed but it's already there meaning it could go lower. I have to wear very supportive bra/sports bra until the pocket is completely healed. No braless adventures for me yet. I might have to wear a strap next week if the lt doesn't drop. I don't know what he'll do if the right one doesn't heal up. :( I don't even want to think of a revision. I can feel it pushing to the bottom right. When I push on it,I can feel it moving back into the pocket where it's supposed to be. Updated pictures from day 4 (I think) to day 11

Stupid app!

Why doesn't this app add pictures on the first try??


Try again...

Updated pics

Day 4-ish vs day 11

So frustrated!

So the ps STILL won't remove the drain despite being down to 37cc/day at most. Has anyone ever had a drain more than 2 weeks!?? They made a new appointment for Tuesday. Next freaking Tuesday!!! I'm gonna rip this thing out by then!! It's getting caught on everything! Last night I rolled in bed and it was caught in a pillow and it ripped right off the safety pin and off my binder! The stupid suture keeps I'm embedding itself into the surrounding skin and I have to keep pulling it back out. Ugh! Not to mention that now it's leaking at the insertion site. I've had to change my underwear 2x today already. The gauze strands keep getting imbedded in the opening and I have to pull them out with tweezers. Gah!!! Was supposed to go out for dinner and a movie with friends tonight.
Most frustrating is the dr... he told me that I should be walking around the house hourly. Then when I saw him Tuesday, he says that's too much walking and grounds me to bed. Make up my mind! Same with the boobs! Says I should have gone smaller. I'm like Dude!!! I wanted smaller! You said I needed bigger due to wide chest/breasts! He's like "I said that? I don't remember! Everyone always remembers what I said except me". I need some freaking chocolate and ice cream to get me out of this funk... ????????????


So there's an area on the belly scar line that the steri strips have fallen off and I took a pic to get a closer look. (The new improved boobs make it very hard to see past them! Lol).
I'm amazed at how thin the scar is already. Only 2weeks post op and it looks this good! It's going to look so amazing once it's fully healed!
As for the drain, I moved around more yesterday. Not quite taking it easy but not overdoing it. Went for dinner with friends and a movie. Had winter tires installed on my SUV. Did a quick dash and grab at Costco. The drainage today is the lowest it's ever been and well below their "range"!! Figures their office isn't open today so stuck for the long run. Guess I didn't need to stay out and quiet. Just needed time. Why don't drs listen to patients? I know my body. I would never overdo it and ruin all that I've paid big bucks for! Lol

Anyone else?

I know it's still early but I haven't read anyone else talk about this so here goes...
When do the boobs start to feel natural or normal? I wake up every morning and my chest aches! Once I'm up moving around for a bit it settles down. It's hard to hug anyone. The big fun bags under the muscle hurt when even gently squished. Whenever I lean forward, the muscles have slight spasms and tighten up for a couple minutes. And one nipple is so overly sensitive!! Gah!! I have an abd pad against it under the bra to protect the wounds while healing and I feel everything! It's actually painful at times.
I can feel the implant pushing outwards in the bottom right breast. The left is pushing hard into my armpit. I'll probably get strapped on Tuesday to bring the left one down. I wish they had something to bring the right one up. The whole point was that I could finally venture braless sometimes but now the surgeon is telling me I will never be able to. I'll have to wear a bra 24/7 forever because it will drop too low. Rather disappointing news considering how much I spent on all this...

Tick tick tick...

5 more hours with this blasted drain!!! It's become very irritated over the weekend. It keeps tugging in and out. The stitch has been getting imbedded in my skin. The opening is getting raw and red. This can't be removed soon enough! Lol. Not to mention it's been leaking small amounts via the entrance. The gauze doesn't always absorb it all so I'm changing undies several times per day. It's pretty sensitive just to move the tube slightly so I bought some emla (lidocaine cream) to put on prior to removal since the nurse will have to twist and pull a bit to get the stitch out.
We did thanksgiving dinner Sunday and I was much more active than usual. The drainage increased to 35cc for the day. Was worried it would stay high but it dropped to 7.5cc by the next morning. It's looking pretty low again this morning too.
I find out today if I'm getting strapped. The left boob is still very high. I'm sure he'll be recommending it. I wish there was a strap to help the right boob move up a bit. I'll be asking him about what the next step will be in a couple months if this doesn't resolve. :(
I went online and bought a faja yesterday. Should be here Friday. This Velcro abdominal binder is digging like crazy. I can get the bottom tight enough but not the top. And when I finally do get the top right, the bottom is too loose. It only goes to my hips which is pulling on the section of incision at the top of the mound. I need something longer so I bought one that goes under the boobs to thigh (shorts length) with "suspenders". Hoping it will be more comfortable.

I got strapped

So I had my follow up with the ps today. The dreaded drain is out!!!!! There is no amount of preparation for this. I had emla applied to the site to numb it since the skin was red and irritated and it didn't help. Not to mention the 12" long tube under my belly skin!!! Grossest/weirdest feelings ever! Felt nauseous for a split second. It was all over under my skin. I can't even describe the weirdness. Lol
The left breast is way too high and still very tight. He's not sure if there's a seroma/bleed that happened or if it's the implant itself so he's strapped me and will re-evaluate weekly. If it doesn't resolve, the next step would be revision :( At least I won't have the belly pain to deal with. I didn't really find the breast pain that bad anyways. I actually like the strap. Makes me my boobs feel more secure. I don't get the spasms when I lean forward and don't feel like I have to hold my chest.
Right breast is fine where it is. Still pushing to the right bottom but not getting any worse.
All incisions are healing beautifully. (I'll update with pics on Thursday at the 3 week mark) a couple tiny areas leak fluids (couple drops per day) overall I can't complain. Went to visit my work peeps to say hi. Miss the social interaction but sure am glad I took the full time off. There's no way I could be full time right now.

3 week update

So here's the 3 week update pics. Excuse all the wrinkly/marked lines. I mark easily and this is after my shower and binder removal. Even the loosest bra leaves lines forever.
Not much change. My right breast is disappointing to say the least. You can clearly tell in the picture that it's dropping lower and lower while the left one stays high. The strap might be helping drop the left but it's also pushing on the right. :(
Also my belly has a loose skin flap when I sit. Nowhere near as bad as before but I was really hoping to have nothing. The swelling keeps going down and I see more and more loose skin.
Time will tell. I have to wait for the final results I guess. I don't regret doing this but I was just hoping for better results. I've had zero issues with healing so to have these complications creep up was unexpected.

Comparison pic

Day 11 vs day 21. Dramatic change... :(


It's slight but I'm starting to notice a small difference since using the strap. I asked hubs last night to make sure it wasn't just me and he said it's small difference but there. It's not feeling so close to my collar bone anymore. I've started having serous leakage from the right side. Enough that I have to change the small 3X3 pad 1-2x/day. Since starting the strap I'm noticing some slight "pinching" feelings in that left side. I'm hoping this is a good sign that the pocket is listening to allow the implant to go down. I have another follow up Tuesday morning so I'll see what he says then.
Ordered a CG from amazon. Measured myself and everything to get sizing right. It got here Thursday so I tried it on. Talk about hysterical laughing!!! It's got a hole in the crotch for bathroom breaks. I can see why!! Once you get into that thing, there is no getting back in standing in a stall at work or wherever you are. That thing is so tight that anything hat wasn't firm close to that area ended up getting squished out that hole! Lmao. I looked like I had a sausage bun sticking out!! Made my vajayjay look so hugely swollen!! I laughed and laughed!! Thankfully no one else was home. Had to call my mom to tell her and was laughing so hard, she couldn't understand me. It mostly fit but digs right under the ribs when I try to sit so I'm waiting for the one size up to get here next week. It's hard to fit properly since the ps still wants me to put abd pads against my wounds to protect them until they fully heal. Speaking of... I have a stitch dead centre of belly line that is poking through. I think the dr said something about cutting it on Tuesday. It is in the centre of a scab so hard to tell if that was it last week. This week, I can definitely tell. It's shiny when the light hits it and I can actually feel it when I run my finger over it. Like hard fishing wire.
And to top off this week of recovery, shark week decided to make an early surprise visit. AGAIN!! Like a whole 8 days early this time!! Wtf!?! I knew one might be early right after the surgery (and it was) but 2 early ones!! Arg!! When is menopause??? I'm so over bleeding for no reason! The uterus should just fall out when you're done having kids. Lol

Swell hell?

Well this is the first day I've had major swelling to the point where I'm uncomfortable!!! Eeeeek! My belly looks like I'm slightly pregnant right now! Haven't been eating anything out of the norm. Haven't been more active but I did spend a bunch of time sitting yesterday at my sewing desk so maybe that's it? Whatever the reason, the area down the whole middle of my abs is very uncomfortable. :(. Hoping this settles before tomorrow.
I've also developed a seroma. My mons is huge and now it has spread along my incision line slightly. I have a follow up tomorrow morning so we'll see what the dr says. I got my new faja today so I'm wearing that, hoping the extra compression will help either relieve this or prevent it from getting much worse. (The adventures in putting on this Chinese torture device went a lot smoother today. No massive sausage bun poking out between my legs. Lol) I'm hoping I don't need it drained as needles and I don't get along. To put it bluntly, I faint! Lol. Some nurse eh? I can give them expertly but suck at getting them. Lol. I'd mentioned this swelling a while ago before they even pulled the drain but hey always looked at it laying back so it didn't look as bad. Yesterday though it was very swollen and very obvious when touched. It was like a waterbed! Push one side and it rippled across the incision line. The line itself isn't uncomfortable but the mons is tender to firm touch.
I'll post another update tomorrow.

Not good...

Well I did have a seroma. He drained about an ounce but doesn't do it standing up so I'm sure there would have been a bit more if he had. Did not feel a thing despite the size of the needle!! The only thing I felt is the fluid being pulled across the muscles (very weird feeling). He's hoping I'll only need this once. He said the mons will decrease on it's own so that area is left a bit swollen and tender. Hoping the added compression from the garment will resolve that and prevent any further accumulation.
The breasts... he voiced his concerns today. The left one is far too high. It has come down slightly with the band but only slightly. When I take it off for any short period of time, it slowly starts to move back up. He's almost positive I'll need a revision in the future. :( the right breast has developed a large dent under it. I can feel an air bubble that moves around when I do certain movements. (That bubble was present in the recovery room but at the top of the breast so it's moved down). He said my body will reabsorb it eventually. He has no clue about the large debt and said for now he's not worried about it. I asked him why the implant is pushing so hard to the right and feels like it's literally going to fall out the side. He said "they're heavy. What do you expect?" Funny how no one else has this. I expect normal great looking boobs!! If he does a revision on the left, I'll be asking him to fix the right as well. The upper pole is not full like we had discussed therefore this implant is too low. I might even ask him to change them out for high profile if that's what it takes. For the next two weeks, I'm to massage squish the left breast downwards to see if we can loose the muscle and let it go into the pocket already.
Dr Charles Kettle

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