Newbie/boobies two weeks po! - Ontario

I have been thinking about implants for about 2 years now. I was always a DD cup and small framed. I started losing breast volume after competing in fitness competitions 5 years ago. Running and lifting weights reduced my breasts to a small C cup.

I had a consult in the USA, one here in Ontario, and one through skype in Mexico. The PS in the USA was amazing, but the travel, and after talking with my physician, I could not get a physical/bloodwork done here. In Ontario, we cannot chose our doctors, and mine is difficult. I was then pondering Mexico, where it was half the price, and they do the bloodwork there. However, I was scared if something were to go wrong, I would have to go back.

I ended up chosing here with the one and only PS we have. He is horrible to say the least. I"ve heard he is good at what he does, however, he has absolutely no bedside manner. My first consult was 5 minutes, he did not measure me, he did not tell me what options I had, nothing. The second meeting turned out worse. I asked him to measure me, he did, I asked him where he was placing them, and he told me under the muscle. I then had to ask saline or silicone. He said silicone.

I phoned the office the next day to aske which he ordered. It turns out he ordered textured anatomical. Totally what I DO NOT want in my body.
Ok so third appointment made. He asks what the problem is and I say that why did you choose those for me? He said they are more expensive, and will give you a natural shape. I said well I guess if your putting them upside down they might work, but my breasts are deflated in the upper pole not lower, and the textured might adhere to my skin. He tells me that im not a doctor, but whatever, Im paying for them.

So I'm a little nervous about my surgery. I don't think I am out of line here. I do want to know whats going in my body. I am still not sure on the size but I think they are 339, however he didn't confirm that.

So Im kind of stuck, because, I would love to have gotten my implants from the USA where the PS talked with me for two hours. He was amazing, and went through everything with me. He answered all my questions, and made me feel at ease. If I had gotten them done in the USA, if I needed a second surgery in a couple of years, I would have to pay again, and with travel, can become costly. In my city, if I need a redo in a couple of years, there would be no costs, not even anethetic.

All in all, My surgery is in three weeks, and I"m a little worried about it. Shouldnt I be excited?

April o8, 2013

Ok so an update on my decision, which I am beginning to ponder hourly through out the day. I may be almost obsessed with boobs right now. I find myself looking at every girls chest as they walk by. I am usually thinking "hmm, I wonder if those are real?" I often try to compare, or choose which I would like mine to look like. I start to feel myself getting excited about getting my new boobs. Then, I wonder if I made the right choice. One minute I want to cancel my surgery, the next I'm excited. Is this even normal? I think about the choice of PS I have chosen, and think that maybe I made the wrong decision. That could be because I was practically yelled at in his office when I said, I researched textured implants and didn't think those were right for me. I'm glad I didn't mention that I had a consult in the states. He would have really cancelled my surgery. The truth was, the amazing surgeon in the states agreed that textured wasn't a good choice, and I totally agree. So needless to say, the PS here, says to me " I've cancelled people for researching online"

I do have to say though, my close friend had her implants done by this PS, and they turned out fine. Maybe he just doesn't have social skills, and I should be mindful of that. Or maybe I should just trust him, and his ablilities. Oh who am I kidding? As I say this, I am having visions of lobsided boobs, or huge scars. Geesh, why do I do that to myself? Oh crap! I just can't make up my mind at all. One minute I am excited, and envision these beautiful tahta's, and the next, I have visions of big, awful boobs that get in the way.

OK so I tried to call the PS this morning, because after the whole fiascal of these textured 410 anatomical implants that I didn't want, I just wanted to make sure I was getting the correct ones. I was also given a bunch of sheets with surgery information on it.(Nothing of which was discussed) So I am guessing that was it. That was the last appointment before the boobies go in? It says keep bra on after surgery. Hmm what bra? Do you give me a bra? Do I buy a bra? WTF? I also realized that he didn't give me a size or the profile information. Did he do an estimate on size? I wanted to ask about that too. So I'm really confused here. I am seriously just supposed to show up on APril 30 at 6 am. Well its a good thing the nice PS in the states let me play with his implants. I felt like that PS actually wanted to do the surgery and was excited. So I decided to call, but no one was there, big surprise, so I left a message and left my phone number. Hopefully I will hear from them soon before I chew off my left arm from worrying.

Thank you for all of your input. I wish I had more time to change my mind, and plan for the states, but I don't. No refunds here...lol...I have seen my friends boobs who were done by the same PS, and another girl at work who had a reduction, and her boobs look amazing. So I'm going to go with (he has horrible bedside manner)
I did call the receptionist yesterday to ask about the bra, the price difference, and my pre-op appointment. That went well. I was told that I would only need any type of sports bra that does up in the front. The price difference was changed to 200 cheaper because they were no longer textured 410's and my post op history appointment with my family doctor was good for two days prior to surgery. Another appointment that I dread. Hoping I'm not going to get the funny looks. I still feel embarassed about telling anyone.

I went to Walmart after work, and spent about 160.00 on different things I thought I would need.
1. 4 front closure bras
2. scar cream
3. 4 ice packs
4. heating pad
5. ordered some of the scar tape for incision site
6. vitamin C, multi vitamins
7. tried to get a front zip bra and a body pillow but no luck
8. bendy straws
9. cough candies, and gingerale

Then there was the talk. AHH God! So my 20 year old son works at Walmart, and so I went to get some supplies and pick him up after work. I get the 10% discount which is a bonus when your kid works there. Ok so back to the talk. My son looks in my cart and says "What kind of surgery are you having exactly?" I'm standing there trying to think fast, C"mon, think fast, think really fast. Nothing! I have Nothing! So I say " Well, its my chest" and not all woman just get implants to go bigger you know. I'm older, things happen". I wanted to add, and you sucked the sh** out of them 20 years ago. But I didn't. I asked him if he was ok with that. He said "well thats embarassing." Geesh its not like I'm gonna show his buddies or anything...
He seemed ok with it all. I'm just hoping my little secret won't be all over facebook. Yikers!

April 13- Two weeks to go, and now I am starting to get excited. I have completed more of my shopping, but maybe I am over-supplied now. LOL. I guess I can never be too prepared though.

I quit smoking more then a week ago, and let me tell you how clean my house is right now. LOL Yes walls and windows, and even the dogs had a shampoo. I washed the floors twice today! The cravings are less and less, but I find when I do get a craving, it is more intense! I also have no energy, my mind is foggy, and I cannot breath. Isn't this backwards? I;ve been forcing myself to still go to the gym, but I find I do more breast watching then actually running or lifting weights. I also do a lot of couch potato activity now, and I did gain weight the first two weeks, but now starting to lose it. Probably losing muscle...RRRR The good thing is that I am not depressed or cranky, but I sure do have mood swings. Also, I have the shakes, hot sweats, and dizziness. Hopefully all these bad things will stop soon. Seems like the smoking gave me more energy, a smile, and I could breathe much, much better before. Just sayin.

April 17- Today was a down day. I went to pay for the surgery today, and find out exactly what size I would be getting. Allergan 397 WTF! How big am I going to be? I thought he said last time 350 around there. So I'm driving to work, and thinking about the second consult I had with the PS saying..."I just want the empty skin to be filled. How much extra skin does he think I have? I remember trying on the 304 in Minneapolis and they seemed just fine to me. All day I am wandering around work in a daze thinking that this is a big mistake. I'm picturing myself with these big ol' boobies, that I can't get out of bed with. I am a stomach sleeper too, so good luck with that I tell myself. Also, how am I going to get my back cracked by my bf after those big ol' boobies are put in?
I went to the gym after work, trying to think how I am going to go about telling the PS once again, that I think these are the wrong ones for me. I was really hoping for 350 or 360. I'd even be happy with 370. So as I'm on the stairclimber, a male gym buddy says "you just have the perfect shape". Yes out of the blue. So I say" well maybe except for the boobs sagging" He says those are perfect. Hmm, and he doesn't know anything about me having surgery. Gosh Darnit all! I'm thinking great, what the heck am I doing? Maybe they aren't so bad. Needless to say, I feel worse now about these things, and I don't even have them yet.
So now I'm on the computer and looking at what the other girls are getting for size. Ok, well I see girls with A cups getting 370's!!! I am already a C cup, what the heck am I going to end up with? Tripple F's? OMG, I am in a panic. So what did I just do? Yes, you guessed in....I inhaled three cigarettes! BAD, BAD, BAD!

April 28-So I have two days until my surgery and I am starting to get a little bit of anxiety. I have kept myself busy by cleaning the house, and going to the gym. Did my last workout today on legs, and left the chest workouts for the last week.
My pre-op was on Friday, and that went well. My PS and I have reached a new level in our relationship. We took topless pictures, and he reassured me that everything will be fine. I was afraid of the implants being too large because everyone was saying how if you are already a C that I may end of a DD. After speaking to the PS, that isn;t always the case. Everyone is different, and the moderate profile implants are generally wider with less projection. I am feeling confident with this decision now. He is also giving me some anxiety medication to subside the anxiety for Tuesday morning. I have a very weak stomach, and have passed out even visiting people in the hospital...LOL!
One thing that worries me the most is that my bf is still working out of town, and I will be doing this on my own. I haven't been in the mood to make any meals so I guess I'm off to buy some healthy choice frozen dishes...blah! I just haven't figured out how I'm going to life these into the microwave since it is above my stove. Either that, or YAY for me, cause I may lose the 9 pounds I gained when I quit smoking. LOL! and last thought...why do my boobs hurt already???

LAST DAY!
I had to be at the hospital today at 1pm to have bloodwork, urine and all the other things necessary before surgery. I must be the only person this could have happened to. Just my sh@ty luck...oh yah, I have not seen my abusive, arrogant ex-husband in over two years...Guess who is doing the heart rate, blood pressure! I was literally about to faint...Yes, I already have terrible anxiety, and who walks by with his little cart filled with clinical gadgets. So after chewing my fingernails off waiting for my name to be called, I finally get the call, and thank god, its another nurse. I said to her "This is all confidential right? No one in this office will know what I'm here for?" I made her promise. A few minutes later I see the ex and his female nurse lovers...yes, he was a ladies man..well many ladies man...lol! anyway, I could tell they had a few laughs at me, and were talking about me...So I left feeling very "crappy" about myself...Ok so once I got myself together which was about 2 hours later, two cups of coffee, a chocolate bar, and spending $250 on random pj's, sunglasses and stuff...I felt a little better...Ha! I am not better, I feel like a fool, and him and his girl-toys are having a good laugh..So i think now is a good time to take this ant-anxiety medication, take off my nail polish, and shower before heading to bed. Round two tomorrow of hospital drama...LOL!

April 30 -Went to the hospital for 6am. My mother drove me. First problem, she's getting older and it's starting to become noticeable. We got lost on our way! I live in a small town, there was a max of 10 cars on the road, so how did she make a wrong turn twice? Yes we have lived here all our lives. Finally after 30 minutes we made! Perfect timing. Good thing I had taken an Ativan for anxiety this morning.
So we went to check in, and I got my lovely gown, hat and booties. Marvelous! I then had an Iv hooked up and was soon carried to the surgical room. I had some beautiful creative drawings drawn on my boobs and a wonderful cocktail put into my arm.
I woke up with some pain, and had to pee before they allowed me to leave. No instructions, except not to touch the dressings, and get rest.
I woke up and started throwing up which was nasty! Feel much better. I haven't taken any pain killers, in four hours. I am walking around for short periods of time. My throat is a little sore, and I'm a little dehydrated. We will see what tomorrow brings, but if this is it, this is not bad at all. I have not looked at my breasts yet though.

Ok I uploaded some pictures. I am really hoping that these new boobs are only swollen. Mind you, this is in D 36 bra and it fits perfect. They just seem too wide for my body! I'm a little creeped out here!

DAy three and my right side is fine. I can carry things and move my arm around. My left side is in tremendous pain! The implant looks like its squashed and I cannot lift my arm up. My left chest muscle is burning, and has a sharp, hot pain constantly. My arm is stuck at the side because if I move it, it hurts like a mother f***ker!. At least with the last picture, the swelling went down though

I'm starting to feel like I made the wrong decision now. I have not been able to do anything with these jugs on my chest. I am in pain every time I move. I want to go to the gym or run again, and I feel like that is never going to happen.

Last night was the worst pain I've ever been in, in my life! I have had kids, kidney stones, a lump removed from my left breast, and I have never been in pain like this before. I am nauseated most of the day, probably from the pain. It's ok as long as I don't move my left side, but if I move the wrong way, it feels as though my chest muscle is going to tear. It's a terrible piercing pain! My PS said this is normal, and to wait till next Wednesday when I go in. Is this normal?

Day 6! Yay! I'm loving my new boobs so much! I can't stop looking at them in different outfits, different bras, different angles. I can't seem to get enough of these fun bags. Lol
For the most part, I am not in pain anymore, except when I wake up. It's kinda funny, because I can't wait for the bf, and kids to leave so I can admire myself in the mirror. Is that weird? Lol
I had so much energy today, I attempted to do some laundry(one handed) the left is still giving me a little trouble. I forgot all about the boobs at one point, and moved a table. OUCH! That put an end to the cleaning. I may have popped a stitch, so I thought maybe I should inspect my boobs again, lol. Which of course I did, in another bra, whew! No bleeding, but I think maybe I should lay down and take it easy for the rest of the evening. Ice pack on, and relaxing now. Oh, and I discovered why I was so sick the first few days. It appears I have an allergy to Tylenol 3. Since I stopped the pain meds, no throwing up, horrah!

11 days po and I just wanted to write that this was the first full nights sleep. I am still sleeping on my back with the arm pillow kinda semi-laying. The morning was a little sore on the left but manageable. Iced on the left before I went to the gym. I completed half hour on stairclimber, hour on bike(still cannot walk on treadmill) must be the impact. I haven't been brave enough to use weights yet.
I'm watching what I wear at the gym. I do notice even with a tshirt style workout shirt I'm getting some attention lol. I'm loving that a little, ok, a lot!
I'm about to have my very first shower! I was just bathing before, but time to get these babies under some good stuff. It's funny, I'm afraid I'm going to break them or wreak them, and I spent a lot of money on these babies... Anyone else feel like that? I just want to treat them soo good. Kinda like a guy and a new sports car. Lol I wax them every night, massage them, dress them in pretty things lol

I just measured myself and I think I am a 34 DD. Kinda funny since I kept a bikini from 10 years ago and it totally fits! I'm back to where I was 10 years ago! I guess my PS did know what he was talking about. I kinda feel bad for not trusting the guy...

Yay! I went shopping tonight and was measured at 34D or 32 DD which apparently is about the same. Right where I wanted to be, and am very happy. Well minus the fact that I still have to sleep on my back, and my back is killing me! The price we pay for a nice rack, lol

I'm five weeks yesterday! Boobs feel like they are a part of me now! Some soreness in the morning, and my back is insane sore. I'm just starting to do some light upper body workouts now. Will I be able to do a handstand again? I'm debating on that one. Other then that, I love the way my boobies look, and I think people notice, but no one has said anything yet! Except I was asked to jump out of a cake for a guys bday party..lol