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Hello, ladies! Like a lot of you, I've spent over...
Hello, ladies! Like a lot of you, I've spent over a year lurking on this website, trying to get a feel for what a breast reduction surgery would actually entail. Well, I have a wedding coming up this year and I figured now was as good as any time to move breast reduction surgery from the back burner to the kitchen table ;] . My first consultation is tomorrow morning, and I'm finding myself terribly anxious. On the one hand, I am so excited to finally get some answers. Is this surgery feasible for me? What are the chances of insurance covering this? How about breast feeding? Time of recovery? etc.
On the other (more dominant) hand, I am absolutely terrified. I'm starting to spiral a bit, not going to lie. I am very concerned about my body image post-op. Though I'm a little heavy for my size (5'8" and 168 lbs) and my breasts are drastically larger than what's considered "normal" (32II), I've always felt like my body was fairly proportional. And in fact, during college I always thought that my larger breasts made the rest of my body look thinner. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I justified my breasts to myself by saying that they "rounded me out" or drew attention away from my midsection--hey, if they're looking at your boobs, they're not looking at your tummy, right?
Well, that worked for a while...until I started losing weight. 35 lbs later, and I'm starting to realize that my breasts will forever keep me at a size 14/16, no matter how much weight I lose in the rest of my body. So I know in my head that a breast reduction surgery will benefit me, make me look more like my actual size and weight (in addition to reducing my back pain and getting these TRENCHES out of my shoulders and bruises off my ribcage). But as much as my brain tries to keep me logical...I'm scared. I've always had great self esteem. I don't hate my body. I don't hate my breasts. And I guess I'm worried that if I go through with this surgery, that I'm somehow cheating my body. Like I'm turning my back on who I've been for the past 22 years or rejecting the body that God and nature gave me. Has anyone else felt this way?
I suppose this is all stuff I'll have to talk to my surgeon about tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that this first consultation will ease a lot of my concerns.
Will update tomorrow, and hopefully load some pictures up.
On the other (more dominant) hand, I am absolutely terrified. I'm starting to spiral a bit, not going to lie. I am very concerned about my body image post-op. Though I'm a little heavy for my size (5'8" and 168 lbs) and my breasts are drastically larger than what's considered "normal" (32II), I've always felt like my body was fairly proportional. And in fact, during college I always thought that my larger breasts made the rest of my body look thinner. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I justified my breasts to myself by saying that they "rounded me out" or drew attention away from my midsection--hey, if they're looking at your boobs, they're not looking at your tummy, right?
Well, that worked for a while...until I started losing weight. 35 lbs later, and I'm starting to realize that my breasts will forever keep me at a size 14/16, no matter how much weight I lose in the rest of my body. So I know in my head that a breast reduction surgery will benefit me, make me look more like my actual size and weight (in addition to reducing my back pain and getting these TRENCHES out of my shoulders and bruises off my ribcage). But as much as my brain tries to keep me logical...I'm scared. I've always had great self esteem. I don't hate my body. I don't hate my breasts. And I guess I'm worried that if I go through with this surgery, that I'm somehow cheating my body. Like I'm turning my back on who I've been for the past 22 years or rejecting the body that God and nature gave me. Has anyone else felt this way?
I suppose this is all stuff I'll have to talk to my surgeon about tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that this first consultation will ease a lot of my concerns.
Will update tomorrow, and hopefully load some pictures up.
Pre-op Update (+ pictures!)
Um, wow. This update is looong overdue. I was so happy with my consultation, that I mostly stopped thinking about the surgery and this site. But my surgery is tomorrow, so I figure if better get at least one pre-op update up!
My consultation with Dr. Armstrong went very well. I was really nervous to go in, but she was so easy-going that everything went much smoother than I predicted. She really seemed to understand my concerns that I would be too small or disproportionate after the surgery, but encouraged me that going down to a 32/34D would be just lovely on my body. And I have a lot of confidence in her, not just because she's an accomplished surgeon, but because she herself had had this surgery! Hearing that made me feel a million times better.
Not going to lie though, as great as that consultation was, I still worry. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "good Lord, I cannot WAIT to be rid of this hassle," but then other times I think "why should I change this? I'm me." Thankfully, the former thought is far more predominant. That makes it easier going into the surgery. And it does seem like every day I discover some wonderful new reason to have the breast reduction! Fitting into my wedding dress definitely tops the list, followed closely by buying cute bras and (gasp!) maybe even two-piece swimsuits!
I still panic though. Just an hour ago I was ready to call the whole thing off. I've called down now, but I'll be happy to get back to some sense of normalcy. Schizophrenia wreaks havoc on my nerves; it'll be nice to have something concrete again.
I'll update again soon. (I promise this time!) Either before or shortly after the surgery, you can expect to hear from me!
My consultation with Dr. Armstrong went very well. I was really nervous to go in, but she was so easy-going that everything went much smoother than I predicted. She really seemed to understand my concerns that I would be too small or disproportionate after the surgery, but encouraged me that going down to a 32/34D would be just lovely on my body. And I have a lot of confidence in her, not just because she's an accomplished surgeon, but because she herself had had this surgery! Hearing that made me feel a million times better.
Not going to lie though, as great as that consultation was, I still worry. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "good Lord, I cannot WAIT to be rid of this hassle," but then other times I think "why should I change this? I'm me." Thankfully, the former thought is far more predominant. That makes it easier going into the surgery. And it does seem like every day I discover some wonderful new reason to have the breast reduction! Fitting into my wedding dress definitely tops the list, followed closely by buying cute bras and (gasp!) maybe even two-piece swimsuits!
I still panic though. Just an hour ago I was ready to call the whole thing off. I've called down now, but I'll be happy to get back to some sense of normalcy. Schizophrenia wreaks havoc on my nerves; it'll be nice to have something concrete again.
I'll update again soon. (I promise this time!) Either before or shortly after the surgery, you can expect to hear from me!
First Day Post Operation
Well, ladies, this is my first day with breasts that fit me! My operation went really well. I woke up in the morning, took a shower as per instructions, and was in prep by 8:30am. I was able to meet with Dr. Armstrong again, as well as the anesthesiologist and several nurses who would be working on my surgery, which was really nice. I loved getting to meet them all; it made the process less terrifying. But this was the best part of all--Dr. Armstrong said I wouldn't need any drains! Hurrah!
Waking up from the anesthesia was really disorienting. The nurse later said I had asked her repeatedly what time it was, for about an hour. It was really strange waking up, because I felt like I'd been in some dreamland yet the real world seemed more confusing. The pain wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it to be, but it was definitely there. I remember feeling this constant, dull pain and looking down at its source, and in my drugged up mind thinking "oh wow. I still have boobs. Yay." I started feeling better when my mom and fiance came to see me, but everything was still pretty foggy. My fiance did his best to feed me graham crackers, but I only managed to down one because they were AWFUL and dry and I wasn't producing enough saliva to break them down.
After I got dressed and stood up to get in my wheelchair, I started feeling really nauseous. My IV had already been taken out, so they put ice packs on my neck and gave me an anti-nausea shot in the thigh. After I was feeling better, they wheeled me to the car. I really don't remember coming home at all because I was so tired from the medication, I just kept my eyes shut.
As soon as I got home I went straight to the recliner and fell asleep. This was around 2:30. I was kind of in and out for a long time, until I finally woke up around 6:00. My fiance made me some vegetarian chicken noodle soup, I took more pills, and I went through at least two packages of graham crackers. Graham crackers are my best friend. :)
I didn't want to try going up the stairs or sleeping in my bed, so I slept on the recliner, which was really comfortable. The worst pain I've felt so far is when I unconsciously lifted my arms over my head while I was sleeping. That hurt.
But honestly, I think the worst thing is the dry and sore throat. They said the breathing tube might make me sore, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I just make sure to drink a lot of water to keep it lubricated.
As for the pain, it's really not that bad. I mostly just feel this soreness, almost like I've been exhausted from a long workout. I do have some pain on my sides, though, under my surgical bra...does anyone know why that is?
Waking up from the anesthesia was really disorienting. The nurse later said I had asked her repeatedly what time it was, for about an hour. It was really strange waking up, because I felt like I'd been in some dreamland yet the real world seemed more confusing. The pain wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it to be, but it was definitely there. I remember feeling this constant, dull pain and looking down at its source, and in my drugged up mind thinking "oh wow. I still have boobs. Yay." I started feeling better when my mom and fiance came to see me, but everything was still pretty foggy. My fiance did his best to feed me graham crackers, but I only managed to down one because they were AWFUL and dry and I wasn't producing enough saliva to break them down.
After I got dressed and stood up to get in my wheelchair, I started feeling really nauseous. My IV had already been taken out, so they put ice packs on my neck and gave me an anti-nausea shot in the thigh. After I was feeling better, they wheeled me to the car. I really don't remember coming home at all because I was so tired from the medication, I just kept my eyes shut.
As soon as I got home I went straight to the recliner and fell asleep. This was around 2:30. I was kind of in and out for a long time, until I finally woke up around 6:00. My fiance made me some vegetarian chicken noodle soup, I took more pills, and I went through at least two packages of graham crackers. Graham crackers are my best friend. :)
I didn't want to try going up the stairs or sleeping in my bed, so I slept on the recliner, which was really comfortable. The worst pain I've felt so far is when I unconsciously lifted my arms over my head while I was sleeping. That hurt.
But honestly, I think the worst thing is the dry and sore throat. They said the breathing tube might make me sore, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I just make sure to drink a lot of water to keep it lubricated.
As for the pain, it's really not that bad. I mostly just feel this soreness, almost like I've been exhausted from a long workout. I do have some pain on my sides, though, under my surgical bra...does anyone know why that is?
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