Diastasis Repair Post-pregnancy - need encouragement!

I am a 35 year old mom of a 3 year old and a 14 month old and an avid runner. I am 5'5" & weigh 118. Pre-baby I weighed 109 lbs. After my 2nd baby, I could feel a big separation gap in my abdominal wall but didn't know what it was. After researching online, I asked my OB at my 8 week post-partrum appointment. She laughed and said she had never heard of diastasis and said my body would never be the same and to just accept that. She released me to resume regular exercise. I trained for and ran a 15K in 2 months and because of the gap and weakened muscles, I believe injured my back and developed severe, crippling plantars faciitis. After the race, I couldn't walk or carry my baby and was in chronic severe pain for months. After seeking chiropractic care for pain management, my chiro suggested I get checked for a hernia by a surgeon. I had showed him the gap in my ab wall and asked about its correlation with my pain. It was the surgeon who took a CT scan that suggested a TT to repair muscle from diastasis recti.

Since that appointment in June, I have had 6 consultations (the first few were AWFUL) and finally chose a doctor I trusted and felt comfortable with. Plus, he came highly recommended by my mom, who is a post-op nurse, because she has taken care of his patients over the years. I feel excited but also fight anxiety and guilt about this decision. My husband is totally supportive and has taken 2 weeks off to help me recover. I hope to get support from this site as well!

The first PS the general surgeon referred was AWFUL! He appeared very irritated that I brought a list of questions to ask him and responded to my pre-pregnancy photos of myself that I brought, "I can't make you 18 again and I send people who bring in pics to me to other PS. Those people generally have body dysmorphia and are generally unhappy people." This devastated me as my first consultation experience and I left very discouraged, overwhelmed, and confused. I brought the pics because that is what I read on a website to do. Then I found out he had only been practicing 5 years, which is probably why he spent most of the consultation bragging about his practice and how he didn't need any marketing or a fancy website. It was bizarre. The PS I chose has a great reputation and was recommended by my mom, who is a nurse and has taken care of his patients. She said he does outstanding work. I am still overwhelmed, but a little excited, and a lot nervous!

After today's pre-op appointment, it seems more real. We wrote the check (gulp) and got my prescriptions. He answered all the questions I wrote down and REALLY emphasized the importance of not over doing in during recovery. He also told me I would be standing up straight in 4-5 days and wouldn't need the old, used recliner we bought for me to sleep in?! He then told me I wasn't going home in that binder thing everyone is talking about?! I am a little worried about that because it seems it would keep everything safe and secure, especially since the surgery is outpatient!

I am nesting like crazy, making grocery lists, cleaning out closets (pulling all my old maternity clothes I still wore and big baggy shirts to hide my pseudo-prego-belly). I reserved every season of Smallville from the library and a couple books to read! I am working this week to make my bedroom into a tranquil, peaceful environment for me to recover.

Thank goodness I have an awesome hub who has taken 2 weeks off! And a great mom and sis who will fill in the gaps when he is unavailable. I've printed out The Healing Foods Diet and have my protein shakes and Larabars ready to go. Ugh! Have I forgotten anything else? Any tips from anyone are appreciated!!! Thank you!!!

Day 2 post-surgery:I am super sleepy today. Yesterday, the day of surgery, I didn't sleep at all?! I tried and even with pain meds, I couldn't fall asleep. I did sleep 4 hours last night, took meds, went to restroom, and then slept 3 more hours. I've only been up out of my chair to go to the restroom four times. It takes forever to pee?! I sit there for 30 minutes and when I think I'm done, I go some more. My hubs has to help me walk hunched over and helps me in and out of the recliner. The pain feels like burning fire inside. My dr. said my muscle damage worse than he thought and he had to sew my ab wall back together from the bottom of my sternum down to my pubic bone. :( He also said my skin was stretched more than he thought. So after he pulled it all down, he had to make a new belly button. I was so nervous when I got there. I tried to fight back tears but ended up crying anyway. The nurses were sooooo extremely nice, supportive, and patient with me. My dr. performed the surgery in an OR in his office, which was kind of weird. It reminded me of a labor and delivery room. After he marked all over my belly with a sharpie, I took a pregnancy test, then walked back to the OR. Seriously the nurses and female anesthesiologist were so kind, I know God hand picked them for me. They put the compression "booties" on my feet and legs, EKG monitors on me, IV in my wrist, then an oxygen mask on. I just kept taking deep breaths, using visual imagery to control my thoughts. Praise songs began playing in my head as I visualized a scene I used for natural childbirth with my 14 month old son when he was born. . . walking with him through an enchanted forest with water falls, deer, rabbits, and friendly creatures that greeted us. Then I woke up in recovery, my hubs came in, they got me dressed quickly, put me in a wheelchair and we got in the car to come home. It was all so fast?! I'm wearing surgical tape around my abdomen and I have two drains. After I got home, I got in the recliner in our bedroom and my hubs made me some raw, organic juice and brought a scoop of almond butter with apple to eat/drink with my pain meds. I also had some Breath Easy vapors, a natural organic product made by my friend who owns spa store in town. I poured some in an empty pill bottle and literally had my nose submerged in it almost the whole time. It has peppermint, lavender and eucalyptus that de-stresses the body and brain and helps with nausea. It is like gold to me right now! It is breaking my heart that I can't hold or nurse my one year old. :( He came to me this morning doing the milk sign and tried to climb up in my chair. My hubs held him to my faces so I could kiss all over him but it wasn't the same as our cuddle fests. My 3 year old was sweet this morning, wanting to cover me with a sheet and kiss my owie (which we told her a kiss on my leg would go straight to my tummy owie)! They are at my mom's for the day today.

My dr. didn't send me home with a pain pump or a binder. I am wrapped tight in surgical tape. He doesn't want it to come off until my post-op appointment this Thursday. He said I could order a binder but did not need one?? This sort of scares me because I hear how helpful they are keeping everything tight and secure.
Well, I am about to fall asleep. I hope to update more and maybe post pics at the end of this week.